Happy Mother's Day! Lessons from Mom

Hey, everyone. Welcome to start your week. Great. Start your week with the coach. I'm your host, Shawn Butner, certified high performance coach. And we ground you in tactics and strategies and personal development, high performance and good living so you can live your best life. Now, today is Mother's Day, and so I wanted to share a story about when in 2014, I got a call from my dad, and he said, sean, you better get home soon. And he trailed off, and my heart sank because it was after months of traveling between the Bay Area where I lived and Chicago area where I grew up and where my parents were. And nobody wants the phone call. Especially when you have a loved one that's been switching between recovering and fighting for their lives. And it's a terrible feeling, and unfortunately, it's one that many can relate to this past year. And, you know, you start thinking about the lasts, you know, like the last time you hugged, the last time you talked to mom, the last time you had a deep conversation, the last movie you watched together. You know, you start to think, what are some of the best moments we had together? And you know, that time when you're young and the tornado sirens going out, electricity's out, and, you know, your brother's kind of freaking out, and you're huddled in underneath the staircase like you're supposed to when the tornadoes are coming. And with the flashlight and a big book from the library on King Arthur, reading stories, trying to pass time as danger came and left, and how you felt connected and cared for at that time. And, you know, you think about the cheering on that happened when you decided to take the big leap and live your life by changing jobs, by moving across the country, by chasing your dreams, you know, these are the kind of things that happen, you know. And, you know, you realize, too, in these moments that your combination of your parents, good and bad, and how they both influenced you and. And, you know, my mom growing up, hated school. Like, she's my. Her advice to me and my brother growing up is like, just get through the damn thing. Get your piece of paper and get out. Right public school. But she was also super curious and would encourage us to read, to chase our passions, to figure out what we wanted out of life, because, you know, there's much more to life than money or what people expected of you. In a lot of ways, it was really not traditional. And as you're going about it, to treat people with respect, to say, hey, like, you don't know their story, you don't know what they've gone through, and you should try to understand that before you make judgments. She was really good at giving that perspective of, like, how do you know what you believe to be true in a lot of ways? And, you know, just to be humble about it, you know, you don't have to be a jerk. You don't have to be like, I know everything. You don't have to, you know, judge people negatively because you're probably getting it wrong, too, or you're probably doing the same thing. Like, she was really good at getting you to think about, okay, like, are you doing the same thing? Or how would you like to be treated if this situation was reversed? And, you know, it all fed from this ability to try to find the good in people, the good in situations, the good. The humor and tragedy and struggle and hardships, you know, because, you know, sometimes that's all you got. You know, have it. Being a cancer survivor, having, you know, so many different setbacks that our family faced. Growing up with my dad being injured multiple times with his job and construction, you know, it's. It was always, well, we'll find a time to laugh about it later. And she actually shared that when she was in the hospital, before she went into hospice, which is when I got that sucky call. But, you know, all the lessons to remember that I unconsciously took from her, but I am very honored to have is to always be curious, to find your passions and chase it with your full heart, to be kind and respectful to other others, to be humble and to be as optimistic as you can. Right? And sometimes it's hard, but sometimes that's what you got to do. And, you know, so today's Mother's Day, and I just wanted to share that, you know, our time with our parents is limited, and it's important to celebrate the time you have with them, with your family. And it's also a great time to connect with people about the good times, about what you learned from them, about the good memories, because, you know, life goes on and it's too short. And if you're able to see your mom today, I encourage you to ask her what life lessons she hoped to pass to you and your siblings or anyone that would listen. The things that are important in life and have that conversation because it's such an illuminating thing. And I was able to have that conversation with my mom before she passed, so I think it's such a powerful thing. And if you're not able to because of a bad relationship or that also have passed, you know, think about some of the best memories or some of the things that live on in you and share them with your family and friends, you know, and just connect with people, right? Connect with the, with your mom if she's around, connect with others about moms because everyone has a mom. It's a pretty cool thing. And you know, ask them about how they were influenced by their moms, good or bad, you know, and I, I know it's not. This could be tricky for some folks or it could be a no brainer for others, you know, everyone is coming at this with a different thing. It feels a little bit heavier. I think this year having again so many people that are, have gone through the same thing with a loved one, you know. And you know, for me, Mother's Day is as much about loss as it is with celebrating with my wife's parents who are still around. So it's doesn't have to be heavy, it is still joyful. I'm still very grateful for the love and the lessons that my mom passed to me and my brother growing up. And I want that for you too. So that said, you know, today I'll probably be trying to listen to some Beatles because that was the soundtrack of me growing up because my mom absolutely loved them. And it's burned in my brain in a really strange way where I can hum any of the melodies, know the lyrics of way more of their songs because it was just always playing growing up and it, it's just kind of a way to honor and to connect with her memory. So that said, guys, like, I don't mean this to be such a bummer, but I really hope you're out there feeling that connection to your mom for, and no matter what situation you have. So that's all I got for you today. Happy Mother's Day. Hope you're celebrating it with family, hope you're connecting with people. I hope you're feeling grateful for everything that your mom and your dad or your parents have done for you because your guardians or whoever there's can't cover all the situation, different types of situations that people grow up in. But like it's important to celebrate that, to honor that, to reflect on that and to be grateful for it. And, and that's the message at the end of the day. Feel connected, feel grateful and hope you have a great weekend and carry that this next week and you know, how would your best self be if your mom was looking over your shoulder? Because I know she is for me. So that's it guys. See you next week. Take care.