Letting Go Of Things That No Longer Serve You

It's getting towards the end of the year, and it's time to finish strong. And so many folks are carrying around the sense of guilt, this sense of, I should have done more this year. I should have reached out more this year. I should have seen family more this year. I should have, you know, tripled the size of my business this year. All these goals that we had at the beginning of the year show up around fall and lot of times weigh us down, and a lot of times we don't even know that that's happening, you know, so how can we manage this guilt? All right, so today we're going to be talking about how to let go, the things that are holding you back, right? And it could be ideas about yourself, about, oh, this year I was going to get into my best health and, you know, look like a Greek God. And then it didn't really happen that way, or I was going to triple my business. I was going to, you know, be around family and friends more. I was going to get all this stuff accomplished. And as high performers, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves. And when we don't measure up or when priorities change or something happens in the world that throws us off course, we can really be our own, like, punisher, right? We can really beat ourselves up over these things that are on our to do list or things that we had these grand visions of accomplishing. And as your coach, I just want to say, like, give yourself a little bit of grace this time of year, right? Think about things that you're grateful for, you know, things that you have accomplished. And it's time to, like, the trees out, you know, losing leaves, right? Letting go of what happened at the beginning of the year, things that we had growing. It's time to let a load off and, you know, simplify, right? It's. And it's time to focus on what really matters. It's time to pivot. It's time to think about what did I learn? And it's also time to finish the year strong, right? So all of these different things can be super true and powerful when done, right? So. And why is that important? Because, you know, if we had a big marketing project that we wanted to accomplish this year and we didn't accomplish it, you know, stressing out about it, feeling guilty about it, it's actually going to impact your productivity. So, you know, I know for me in my business, I had a whole board of things I was going to do, you know, for coaching, to reach more people, to really connect and help them transform Their lives. And at the end of the day, like, I am not, you know, a third through that plan at this, this time of year. And I started that in January. I had it all mapped out. But, you know, I decided that, you know, I wanted to start a podcast because that felt great and I wanted to find a way to collaborate with people. And I'll have more on that on social media if you want to follow that journey. This week I'm going to be talking about how I thought through the podcast and how it's been really impactful and really fun and I'm really grateful for it. But it came at the cost of some progress on some other things that got shuffled around priority wise. And this happened like life happens, right? So you start a new thing, it takes up more time than you thought, and pushes out some other things or you figure out things, you're like, oh, the way that I thought this was all gonna figure out or fit together isn't really going to fit together that way. So we need to shuffle or deprioritize other things. So like I'm saying, as a high performance coach that understands this, I've also struggled with this. And what helps me in these times and what I've learned, you know, in corporate America when I was doing software, is you can't dwell on the things you don't do, right? Like something has to get done and there's a deadline, then that's one thing. But if it's something that business priorities shift, you know, the climate shifts, the environment shifts, it's perfectly okay to give yourself permission to let that stuff go. And I hope as we're talking through this that you're thinking, like, what do I need to let go? And giving yourself that permission to be like, okay, it's time to put that to rest. So, you know, as we're talking about it. So how can you work through that? Guilt. What are a couple things that are helpful in knowing when you should quit? I think that's an important thing. And so we'll start there, right? How do you know that you should quit a project, a relationship that's not working for you, a situation that's not working for you, a plan that's not working for you, all that kind of stuff. And for me, it comes down to thinking about it in terms of how much joy are you getting out of it. So if you were to score yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, it's like, how happy does this thing make me? Right? And maybe you're working on a Super interesting work project that's pushing your skills. And you're like, this is tough. But I absolutely love it because it's, you know, I'm putting every ounce of my essence into this to figure this out. And that's great. Where you're like, I wake up in a panic every day having to do this, right? So polar opposite. So one panicked 10, like, super stoked on it, right? So how much joy does this project give me, right? How much do I see my future identity tied into accomplishing this, right? So in another example, if you were training for a marathon, you saw yourself as a runner, right? If finishing that marathon would help you feel like you own that identity as a runner in, you know, the next five years, 10 years, like it's worth doing, right? So you're going to be a little bit more motivated to finish it. If you're like, I hate running. I don't know why I signed up for this. This is really painful and really dumb of me to have done, then, you know, maybe that's a one and maybe it's. That's something. Maybe you don't need to finish that marathon. Maybe it's time to switch the distance or switch the activity altogether. So do you see your future identity in it? So first, joy, Second, future identity, third. Is it. Does it serve your big ambitions? Right? So does finishing this project advance your career goals? Does it advance the amount of abundance that you want for your family and your community? Does it increase your impact? So and so it's more of an impact rating. Like, what is the impact of finishing this as you go forward? And if it's really impactful for your dreams, your missions, your purpose, your family, communities, you know, that's a 10. If it's like, this doesn't matter to anyone. I don't know why I chose this. That's one. And that's another thing to kind of think of. So as you assess yourself on something maybe that's been looming over your head that you haven't quite tied up yet, how happy does it make you? How is your future identity tied to it? How big does it impact your impact? How bad does it. That was kind of crazy. How does it impact your contribution and connection and legacy to the world is another way to phrase that. So it's not impact. Impact. That's kind of funny. Okay, so after doing that kind of quick assessment, and if you're scoring high on each of those scores, you know, let's say you got above an average of six or seven on each of those, you're probably going to follow through. It's probably important to you. If you get less than that, then it might be something worth delegating, getting off your plate, moving on from. So if. So if you have those things identified, you go through each thing that you, each goal or task or project or ambition that you hoped to have had finished by now that, that you hadn't have that list, then how do you manage the guilt after that? Right. The first thing is to be thankful for what did work. Right. So I have a couple of projects in my business that I'm like two thirds done, and then it stalled out or I went a different way or I realized it wasn't working. And so they just have to be okay. Like, that's learning, right? I know what not to do. I picked up some new skills along the way that are going to help me going forward, and I'm very grateful and thankful for that. And you know, this is November when I'm recording this video, and so it's Thanksgiving in the United States. So this idea and theme of giving thanks for the harvest, for having healthy family, having a loving life, having, you know, friends that are pretty awesome, all the things that we kind of take for granted, that we take account for nowadays, this is a really good exercise for thinking through those projects and being like, what am I grateful for through this experience? Even if I'm stopping because it's not a. If you're quitting something, it doesn't mean you failed at it unless you believe that it's that simple. But there's always a lesson. There's always something that will help propel us forward. And we can never realize in the moment that when we look back and you're like, oh, that seemed like a dead end. But I picked up this really key insight or perspective or thing that helped me move forward. That's super awesome. So, okay, so I want, you know, on this Friday, I'm going to be hosting a free live training on the Meaningful Revolution. You can check me on social on Instagram, Coach ShawnButner. I'll be going live talking about the podcast, and kind of Friday will be just a meet and greet so people can ask questions. If you want a little bit of coaching, I can, I can do that on that call. But most importantly, I'm going to teach what I've seen as a commonality of all the guests on Meaningful Revolution. So I'm really excited for that. I hope you'll join us, get involved in the community, meet some of your fellow revolutionaries as we go into, you know, the end of the year and just get connected with community. So I hope to see you there. Link below in the blog. So make sure you click on that and register and save your spot so that, you know, you get notified of the zoom link and all that stuff. So we'll see you guys Friday. Give thanks to the things that you're going to stop, right? Second thing is to think, like, what's worth letting go in your life, right? So, you know, you have things that you're thankful for, but you know, what do you need to let go on a project? Is it a sense of self tied to that? Is it a sense of what the results are going to be? Is it a sense of what it might mean to somebody else? Right? And so being okay with, with when this ends, like, you know, kind of shake the, all the dust out of the rug and like, put that rug back down, you know, I'm not really doing great with the metaphors today, guys, but I am caffeinated, so that's worth something. I don't know. Anyways, third thing to do. So first thing, be grateful. Second thing, let go of what you feel guilty over. Third thing is to, you know, outside of giving yourself grace, right? Which is the second point. The third point is to give other people grace, right? There's. This is a really tough time for a lot of folks with everything that's happened in the world the last couple of years, which we don't need to list right here. But, you know, it's also the holidays, so there's a lot of stress on family, you know, people you miss and you don't know what other people are going through. But you do the stressful year, you do the stressful time of the year and you get. People that blow up on the barista at the coffee shop are generally not pleasant out there. And part of letting go of things is letting go of how that could contaminate your mood and how you feel. So just letting them be like, okay, that's your experience, that's on you. It's not going to impact how I feel about what I'm doing because I'm grateful for all these things in my life. I've let go of these things that have been weighing me down. I'm going to let you experience life that you want, but it's not going to impact me because if we can implement these three things, you'll get the biggest gift this November, right at the end of the year. And that's the gift of being at a new level of emotional freedom, of not being unconsciously weighed down by guilt, having a positive mindset, for being thankful for what's going on, and for being able to rise above a lot of the sadness and anger and vitriol that's out there in the world. And I think that in itself is worth making sure you're letting go of the things that you need to at this time. So I want to let you know on this floor Friday, I'm going to be hosting a free live training on the Meaningful Revolution. You can check me on social, on Instagram coach Sean Butner. I'll be going live talking about the podcast and kind of Friday will be just a meet and greet so people can ask questions. If you want a little bit of coaching, I can, I can do that on that call. But most importantly, I'm going to teach what I've seen as a commonality of all the guests on A Meaningful Revolution. So I'm really excited for that. I hope you'll join us, get involved in the community, meet some of your fellow revolutionaries as we go into, you know, the end of the year and just get connected with community. So I hope to see you there. Link below in the blog. So make sure you click on that and register and save your spot so that you know, you get notified of the zoom link and all that stuff. So we'll see you guys Friday as a Sean Butler signing off. Take care. Check over here, wherever this is and scope out that video and we'll see you guys next week.