Mindsets That Accelerate Your Success

If you are not getting the momentum and success that you want in life, it's probably because of your beliefs. There's a quote by Henry Ford that goes something like, whether you think that you can or you can't, you're right. And I love that quote because it's such. It explains attitude, right? It explains why it's really important to be cultivating a positive attitude that your belief in yourself or capabilities is going to determine whether you can continue to learn that next bit of code, the new shiny thing out in the technology world, the most up to date medical information, you know, the next set of psychological principles, if you own, if you're a therapist and own a practice and so on and so forth, right? So your belief on how capable you are in the world, how worthy you are in the world is really super important for generating success, for being a high performer, for living your meaningful revolution to its fullest. So another example of this is people get stuck in context. Their mindsets are not always as adaptive as the times call. And you can take a look at the pandemic, right? When it started in 2020, we didn't know what was going on. There's a lot of fearing for your physical safety, fearing interacting with each other, fearing what was going to come for families and friends and all sorts of things. And so we shut down, we got small, our worlds shrank. And as things started to change, as more information came out, as vaccines happen, you know, we went from this really drastic shift that was really scary and physically threatening to wanting to seek comfort. So there are a lot of people trying to, were thinking about that, oh, if I could just feel calm, I'll be okay, right? So I'm really trying to manage my stress, find my Zen, you know, all that mindfulness stuff, stuff all those apps, all those businesses and services really thrived in, you know, 2001 and probably early 2002. And as the world now has adapted to living with the coronavirus, or you could say this for anything, any type. There's anytime there's a big crisis that we're back into what's going to win here? And that's going to be people that are finding their performance edge, that are challenging themselves, that are putting a lot of good out in the world. And you can't do that if your mindset is stuck in the old like pandemic example again of I have to protect my physical safety and my family and friends and hunker down in my house, right? So that's really why it's super important to be able to constantly be reflecting on your mindset and beliefs and to, to really make sure you're not getting stuck in a time that is not meeting the current time right, or you're not having beliefs and mindsets that are serving you for what's really happening today and in the, in the present moment. So also because our mindsets really shape how we see the world, see problems, see opportunities, you know, if your mindsets are mismatched for the time, you're going to see the world in a different way, in a way that might not help you adapt to ride that next level or like, wave of success. So it's really important that we make sure that we check our mindsets. I'm going to share a bunch of 10, actually mindsets that I found really helpful in personal development that also helped me in my performance because again, we're trying to get back into that performance edge and into that, that charging out and putting our good work and goodness out in the world and shaking off some of those older style thoughts that were prudent when we didn't know stuff. And now we know, right? So before I get into that though, I. To illustrate this, whether you think you can or think you can't, your right mentality. You know, when I was in middle school, I had a slight, like, athletic asthma. So in Chicago, when it was cold and I'd run, I would get asthma. And I remember having to run in the fall or the spring, I guess one of those transition times when it could be really nice during the day or could be really freezing and we had to go around the mile. And I remember talking to my gym teacher saying, like, I have asthma, like, this is gonna suck. And he's like, yeah, don't run. And so I spent the whole gym, recess or not recess, the whole gym class, watching all my classmates run. As I just chilled out by the sidelines, it didn't really feel awesome. I felt really bummed. And so for a while I'm just like, I'm not a runner, I can't do it. I have this asthma thing. It comes up. Turns out, though, years later, I asked myself the question after I mentioned one side of the story a bunch where I was just so stressed out that I signed up to run a marathon. But a lot of that decision too was a little bit of excitement, like, can I run a marathon? Like, can I actually do this? And so I started training and a funny thing really happened, right? And unexpected things really happened. I had gotten most of my friends at work to start Running. Because if the guy who obviously doesn't look like a runner is able to do it, maybe I can. And so a couple of older guys that had been out, like one guy had never run. One guy had been running and, you know, got out of it and got back into it. But that weird sense of leadership, of, oh, instead of going to lunch with the team, I'm gonna go run and like, hey, let's go run. We want to run with you. Let's do this. Okay, cool. And so that's what we do. You know. I also didn't realize that the challenge of marathon training, of incrementally ramping up your miles would feel so satisfying. Like, I was so proud of myself. Every week I'd be like, oh, I just ran an easy five miles. That's insane, because I never thought I could run five miles. And now I ran eight. And now five seems really super easy. And so that sense of accomplishment and pride was very surprising. And ultimately from that time, I ran and, you know, in three different marathons, finished two of those. One was the Chicago Marathon, where it was super hot. And that's a whole other story. I won't get into it now, but it's amazing. That shift in I am not a runner to can I run a marathon? That, that shift of identifying as not this thing and then having that little question of like, maybe I can do it led to three marathons. Right. Which is nuts. So as I say this, I also want to point out that changing your mindset isn't like this magical thing that just changes everything about you or changes your current situation. Right. There is a sense that you need to be grounded in reality. So if you are, you know, a 40 year old guy and you're like, you know what, I'm going to go back to school to become an astronaut. Right. Is it possible? Sure. Is it likely? Probably not. You know, with health, with how your body's aged, with everything you need to now, you know, catch up, you know, habits you have to unlearn. You know, there's so many different things that go into getting on a rocket and getting shot up into space as an astronaut from NASA that, you know, if you started when you were 16, is going to be a different story. So that's one example. Or, you know, if you're, you're like, you know what I really want to, you know, be the person that invents the computer. Well, that's already been invented. You're not going to be able to do that. So, you know, these are not really based in reality types of mindsets. But I will also say, though, that sometimes the pursuit is worth pursuing. So just because you can't become an astronaut or can't be the one that discovered the computer, doesn't mean if you are like, well, maybe I can discover the next thing of computing and then you go down that rabbit hole, or you train to be an astronaut and really realize how much it kicks your butt, or you're really bad at physics, or you're kind of scared of heights, and that's like the space is the ultimate height. So then that's another thing to do to another thing to think through. But you could still learn a lot by pursuing. That's the point I'm trying to make. You could learn a lot of physics and a lot about yourself by doing something that is, you know, pie in the sky. But again, like grinding reality. If it's not super likely, it's not worth expecting to be successful in it. You know, enjoy the pursuit. All right, so what are 10 beliefs that I've learned in personal development and high performance that I think have really helped me as a person, as a human being, and why I love to coach people? Right. You know, these are things that I'm constantly looking for in my coaching sessions. And real quick, before we get into that, if you are interested in high performance coaching and how it can help you enhance your life, you know, advance the progress you're making towards your big goals, or helping you get more consistent in a particular area of life, or helping, you know, just have that partner and relationship that doesn't have an agenda, that has your back, is advocating for the best you, then I highly suggest you sign up and apply for a strategy session which is linked below this video. And we'll go over an hour where delve into your life. I'll teach you some high performance habits, I'll walk you through. A little bit of the experience of high performance coaching will build you a plan. At the end, whatever you're struggling with, whatever you're aspiring to, will have some solid foundation of a plan for you to move forward. I love doing that for people and I know how much it helps folks. So if you'd like to qualify for a free version of that, hit the link below. There's a paid private version, but hit the link, fill out the application, all the information's in there to make the best decision for you. So, but I'd love to offer you that strategy session, so take me up on that. Hit the link below before spots fill up, because they usually fill up pretty quick each week. Okay, awesome. Okay. 10 mindsets that really helped me in my personal development and high performance. The first one is that we are all leaders. And I love this mindset of I'm a leader because it's action focused. If you think you're a leader, you're more willing to take action when you need to. When you see something that's broke, when you need to change something, when you need to advocate for yourself, if you think that you're a leader and can change it, that will be all the difference. Also, that mindset of I'm a leader on my team, in my family, for my health or well being also means you're thinking about, like, how am I going to role model for others? And that's such a big question. And I'm gonna pose that question to you, like, how are you role modeling for the people around you in your work, in your home, in your social circles and relationships, in your health? Because sometimes when we're not motivated, because, like, we're doing it for us and it doesn't. If we don't do it, it's no big deal. But if we need to get in the best health and best shape of our lives so that our kids learn healthy habits and don't end up doing the unhealthy habits that you had growing up, that's a different level of motivation, That's a different level of focus, That's a different level of energy that comes from, oh, I need to figure this out. I need to show up for them. And that's why I love this mindset. My mentor, Brendan Burchard, is often telling, you know, his audience and, you know, I'm a big fan. He's the guy who trained me in my certification, runs the High Performance Institute. But he is the one that talks a lot about how we are all leaders. And it's really helped me in my career and tech and in coaching since then. So shout out to Brendan, of course. But again, we are all leaders, and who do you need to be a role model for? Is the great question for this belief to really get you into that leadership mindset. Second, again, from Brendan too. Not Brendan too, but Brendan, comma, also is we generate the energy we need in the world. And what does that mean? It means when you wake up in the morning and you got to go to work, you can feel like, ah, it's Monday. I don't want to do this. And just wait until Friday at the end of the day so I can go and hang out and have that energy throughout the week of like, I don't want to be here. This is burdensome. You know, if you've ever met someone at work that was like that, you know, I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. But you can wake up and be like, you know what? I don't really want to leave the bed. I don't want to leave my home. I don't want to leave my family, but I gotta do this. And I know I can really make an impact with my work. And you come from that space and you show up in your relationships, and instead of being like, I'm so tired, I just want to watch tv, eat dinner, and go to bed. You are present with your. Your. Your family, and you say, you know what? I want my kids again. You know, the leadership mindset. I want my kids to feel like I love them and I'm there with them, and it's not a burden for me to be interacting with them. Then, you know, that energy you're bringing into that, those relationships is going to change how those relationships are. So I'm always constantly thinking in my life, what's the energy am I that I'm bringing to the table here with my wife, with my coaching clients, on my podcast, doing these YouTube videos here for y', all, all that kind of stuff. And so, yeah, that. That's it. So what? That's the question, too. What energy are you bringing to the different parts of your lives? And where do you need to improve that for yourself? Like, are you as energetically as you want to be with your family, with your team at work, when you have to go again to run or lift those weights or go back to just how you feel day to day? Like, if you're like, I don't feel the way, like, happy and strong in the way that I want to every day, and the energy you're bringing to that is, like, that's just how it is. That's how it's going to be, you know? And so, you know, how could you be a little bit more excitement, bring a little bit more fun to each of those areas of your life to really excel? I think that that'll be super powerful. The third thing that I figured out in personal development that really helped me is the day that I was at my job, not super, like, loving the stress of it or where I was at that point in my life, and then having the realization that, like, I can change it at a very simple level. I could in this very moment, go into My manager's office say that, hey, I'm done, go home, pack up my stuff and go anywhere in the world, right? And there are consequences to that. And again, going back to mindsets that need to be based in reality. Like, oh, in, you know, that first time I left corporate America, it's like, oh, I have student debt loans. I, you know, need to be able to eat and, you know, pay for all the bills and stuff. It takes the live. But how can I do it in a way that honors those obligations and frees me to be myself and live my life, right? And, and so we can make moves, we can make choices that are big, that are as chaotic and destructive as simply going into the office today, flipping the birds and being like, I'm done. Which I don't advocate at all ever to do. But it could also be that you start your side hustle and you have a two year plan where you're working on building your coaching business as you're doing your day job and eventually you swap into your business full time, you know, or you decide to ask yourself the question, can I run a marathon? Right? There's agency in that question. Because you can decide like, I'm going to test it and then you're in action and then you are reminded of the power of the decisions you make. And I think that's, you know, taking ownership of the decisions we make, even when it's that decision is to not do anything is highly undervalued in personal development and something I believe we all need to be thinking about a lot more deeply in our own lives. So I'm going to pose this question for you. What things in your life have you been avoiding? And I asked this question, and I love this question because the things you are avoiding in your life are the things that you've decided to do nothing about in a very, very forward, kind of punchy statement to say here on a YouTube video. But if you're avoiding going to the doctor, you know, you're not engaged in your health, you're not taking agency of being in the best health you possibly can be. So get on it, right? That's the follow up question. If you are avoiding having that tough conversation at work with that person you need to fire because they're not performing or they, you know, have messed up a major contract through negligence or whatever it might be, if you're avoiding that conversation, you're avoiding having agency to guide your business to where it needs to be, to guide your team to have the quality teammates you want. And so you're choosing to just let things be. And we have, again, so much more agency, so much more decision making in our lives that we often give ourselves credit. Partly human nature and partly because it's easier to blame people sometimes. It's. That's the facts, you know, we all do that. And so being able to catch yourself, one, will help you perform better, two, will help you lead to that higher quality of life. So remember, you have agency. Use it. Okay? The fourth mindset that I found really helpful in personal development is that we get stuck in comfort, right? Necessity from deficit, you know, meaning, like, I don't have enough food, I don't have a house, I don't, you know, can be really motivating for a lot of people. And so you're going to be constantly hustling and challenging to be able to eat, to be able to survive, right? So there's like a survival necessity that can happen. And you don't sit in survival necessity. You try to get enough to where you can have some breathing room. And so, like, like, for me, right after college, I was doing the whole, like, first job, had a bunch of student loans, was trying to figure out, like, do I pay, put gas in my car, do I spend 30 bucks for a month's worth of rice and beans essentially, or, you know, do I start juggling these bills? It's just, you know, a bad financial spot and it sucked. But, you know, it got me super lean on spending and not taking trips and not doing a lot of things that my friends and peers were doing because I just didn't have the cash and I just needed to figure something out and eventually it worked out. But yeah, you know, that necessity to act drove me to be much more disciplined financially, that thing. And on the other end, like, when you're at your performance edge, you are constantly seeking challenge to push your level of skill, of competency, of confidence. And a lot of people call that, like the flow state, you know, so if you've ever been super focused and the time melts away, that's. You're at your performance edge. You're constantly seeking the next challenge. And you know, by definition, you're not going to be stuck because you're pushing boundaries, but comfort, that's the tricky beast. It's a. It's a. It's a fickle beast. Fickle, tricky beast that, you know, you have enough, you have things figured out, you put a lot of energy to survive, or you've been pushing for a while and you're not getting results or You've been pushing for a while, getting results, and you just need to take a break. That's when careers stall. That's when relationships stall. That's when your health starts to decline just because it's, you know, there's no need to move. So where in your life are you comfortable? And where in your life do you know you need to push more? Right. What's coming up for you? Hearing that question and thinking about it in your life. I'd love to you to post those in the comments below this YouTube video, if you would, or go to the YouTube channel and post a comment. I'd love to hear. You know, where you need to be pushing a little bit more, where you're holding back a little bit just so we can cheer you on. Right. It's not to judge you at all. It's to build the community, you know, build this meaningful revolution community. And it's to, yeah, just help y' all move forward in any way that I'm able to. So part of it's, you know, cheering people on. So do that. Put those in the comments on the YouTube channel. We'll get into mindset number five. The fifth mindset that really helped me was a growth mindset. And so you hear about this a lot in personal development, so I won't belabor it too much, but to me, how I see a growth mindset, it's one that is constantly learning, constantly trying things and taking risks. So you get the learning. Right. So there's a lot of what, and I'll quote, failure that involved. And it leads me to my next point. But. So I won't jump the gun here, but yeah, essentially, like, do you believe you are capable of learning or not? Is the question yes or no? I am. And why? Why do you believe that? Right. So that add on question of am I capable of figuring things out. Yes. Why? Because I went to college, I've done all these really hard things in my life that I didn't know and then I figured it out and it worked out. So I have a pattern that I can see or not because life's hard. I didn't. Haven't had opportunities or, you know, you start getting into excuses and stuff, not to discount those, but that's a lot of what I do as a coach to help people get into that growth mindset. So in a way that kind of teases you up on, I think, you know, understanding where you're at, where you think you're at, getting a mentor or a coach to help explore your mindsets. And where you, you feel like you're, you have coach confidence and not can be life changing. So check out again that strategy session below. But what kind of mindset do you have? The 6 mindset that really helped me in my high performance is to not make the same mistake twice, right? One of my closest, like my first manager ever in the corporate world, this guy Max. Max Miller. Shout out to Max. After I completely botched up this thing on this software project where I broke something pretty terribly and it was like three days of craziness and then I had to like go talk to the director. Felt like a firing squad. If you've ever had that situation where you screw up at work and you're like, you're going to go talk to the higher ups now you're like, I already feel bad that I did this and now, you know, going up. But he told me and this stuck with me. He's like, you know what? Like you made a mistake and that's good. That means you're pushing your, the limits of your skill and understanding and, and you know, confidence. You took a risk and you failed. And that's really good because that means you're learning. The thing that we're gonna have a problem with is if you make this mistake again, right? But I don't think you're gonna make this mistake again because you learned the lesson and I can see how bad you, you know, so we did the whole manager thing to comfort me because I felt pretty dumb and embarrassed and you know, wiped after that big mistake on the project where I don't remember exactly what broke. Something broke in a big way. And so don't make the same mistake twice. So the question here for you is what are like list 10 if you can, in your journal lessons that you learned once. And the reason why I'm asking this question, I think it's so important is when we feel like we're not making progress, sometimes it's because we're trying the same thing over and over again. But this question pushes you to list 10 things that you learned and then change behavior and were capable of not running into that again, right? So it's a confidence thing where you should look at that list and be like, oh yeah, that was dumb, that sucked, that was terrible. Whatever comes up for you. But I never did that again. And there's a little bit of pride in learning, right? I think people need to feel a little bit more prideful and you know, really processing the things that happen to them and incorporating them. And so that's why I love this question. So, yeah. What are the 10 things that you learned only once? Right. You didn't have to make the same mistake twice. And I'll throw this one too. What are some lessons that you. It took you more than one time to learn, but now you got it. Right. Right. And again, this is to help you remember how you've been able to learn and change and incorporate that. Right. Because there's no shame in learning. Right. If I'm not going to do the third list, the third list is lessons that you keep learning. That's the one you should be concerned about. If you are thinking about that question and a lot of things are coming to mind, you might need a coach, you might need therapy, you might need a priest, I don't know. But you might need some help there to get out of that cycle. All right, so number seven on the 10 beliefs that helped me the most in personal development is to spend more time on intention. What do I mean by that? I think for the first half of my career in software, my morning habit was wake up, start, hit the button on the coffee machine, run into the shower, take a 10 minute shower out, put the coffee in a big mug, grab a quick snack, run out on my commute, get to work right when I needed to be at work and then work for 12 hours. Right. And so there was no time to really think of, like, what do I want to accomplish today? How do I want to feel today? How am I going to take care of my health today? You know, who do I want to purposely interact with to build relationships, you know, so focused on work. And I didn't have that intention to feel good while I was working to get healthy and eat nutritiously that those things didn't happen. Right. It's as simple as that. And intention is something that I feel we don't pay enough attention on. Again, especially in, you know, organizations, it's so easy for everyone, for people to just get caught up in what's the work, what do I got to do? Let's get on it. That it can really prevent you from enjoying things, enjoying life, being, being in the present moment and feeling the impact you have on other people. Right. And all that takes intention, a little bit of awareness. So get into it. What are a couple of things or a time in your day where you can take 15 minutes to just plan to think about again how you want to feel, how you want to show up, what are the big things that you are expecting to be thrown at you that are curveballs so what struggles are you anticipating and how are you going to deal with it? How are you going to double down on the things that are really going well today? You know, those types of questions can really, really be helpful, but you know, yeah, spend more time on attention folks. Okay, number eight, real quick, it if you're thinking about what makes people happy, it's a holistic approach that leads to happiness. What do I mean by that? It's you can't be happy if all you focus in is work and you neglect your health, relationships and well being. And the same goes for any of those other three. If you're so focused on your relationships that you get fired from your job and you're not taking care of yourself, you will not ever be happy because you just feel bad. Go for a whole bunch of different reasons in that statement. You know, because you know you can't walk because you destroyed your body or because you're not contributing to the family because you don't have a job that's paying you money or those types of things. So people that tend to focus on one aspect, burnout over time, that's the other thing. Like if you want to prevent burnout, you're like, I love my job, I love my family, I, I love how healthy I am and I want to keep continuing it, make that sustainable over the rest of my life. You got to be thinking about those different areas of your life. That holistic approach again leads to happiness. Number nine is a little self serving but hey, it's also true. It's helped me very greatly. The best way to get results in your life is through a coach because it's a completely different experience from reading a book, going to a training, attending a seminar, those types of things. A coach can really a good coach too and something, you know, I very much strive to be a good coach is someone that is co creating a vision of the future for you, is helping you paint the picture of possibilities, is encouraging you along the way, is helping you figure out problems as you have hurdles, doesn't really have an agenda for you other than you show up as your best, most authentic self and fights for that person when maybe you can't. Right when you're feeling insecure, you're feeling unsure, you're feeling like oh maybe I can't do this. That coaching relationship can really help and that tailored reflection and customize reflection and habits and accountability can really accelerate the results that you're getting in your life. You know, because you can get so far on your own before you need to start bringing in other people. And so, yeah, that's super important. So, yeah, coaching is the best way to grow again. Hit the link below to, to get your free strategy session to get started with me, if you'd like, on checking out high performance coaching. It's amazing. Okay, and number 10, the biggest question in life is, who are you? Right? This is the stuff of all philosophy of religion, of like, why I think people sometimes feel like they, they're stuck in a rut or stuck in a particular phase in their life. It's because we forget to be asking and figuring out this question, who are you? Right. The sense of, I can learn about myself, my psychology, how relationships work, you know, how teams work, how I am in relation to all those. And there's tons of different philosophies, there's tons of different methodologies for making that happen. But in high performance, we love to do this quick high performance exercise called three Words, where if you were to have someone like your best friend or your spouse or your family or the close people in your life describe you in three words, what three words would they say that you would be proud of that would represent the best, best version of you? And take a time, you know, take a moment here to jot something down, and it's not something you have to stick with. So I know some people are like, I got to figure out the three, and it's got to be the. The three that are going to be me for forever. And it's like, take that pressure off yourself, folks. You're too hard on yourselves sometimes and have a little fun. But what are those three words that really, you'd be proud of? You know, so for me, I'm in my phone at 8 o' clock in the morning every morning for the last nine years, I've had my three words pop up to remind me to have that intention every day. Like we were talking before, and mine are optimistic, present, and creative. Right? I know when I can be those three things, optimistic, present, and creative with my clients, the client calls go really well. When I can do that with the people I interview on my podcast, the podcast goes super well. When I can be that way with my wife, she likes me, you know? You know, she likes me regardless because she's awesome. But you get what I'm saying? Like, like, you know, I am. When I'm my best version, it impacts the people around me when I have to make decisions and I'm like, oh, I can choose between these two jobs. I'm like, this job makes Me hopeful about the world. This one doesn't. I should choose the one that makes me feel hopeful about the world because optimism is one of my values. It's one of my core things that I'm seeking out in the world. And so that helps me make that decision much easier than, like, oh, they both pay about the same. They're about the same. The same, you know, distance away from home. So the commute will be about the same and the people are about, you know, no, no. This one I'm excited about. I feel hopeful for the future, for if they achieve their mission. I'm gonna pick that one every time. So with all that said, folks, you know, again, you know, if you're interested in coaching, I know I've been talking about that a lot, but this is 10 different mindsets that I found really helpful in personal development. I hope you did, too. But yeah, if you need help on your mindsets or you want to have someone who, you know, can have that objective perspective on what's going on, definitely check out and apply for that strategy session. Like I said, it's free. There's a paid version of it, too. Check that out below to learn more about both of those options. But I love doing the sessions. I love helping people really work on their mindsets because again, if we're going to really get into that performance edge, really write out this turbulent economy and the end of the pandemic and all that stuff, we really need to focus on getting our mindsets right. So don't put this off. Sign up today for a strategy session with me to get started or journal or do what you got to do to get your mind right. If it's not with me, I totally support that also. But, yeah, do the work, get in the game. Let's make sure that you catch this next wave whenever the next phase of the world happens so you're not left behind because you had bad thinking, bad mindsets at the wrong time. Let's get the right mindsets at the right time. And with that, we'll see you guys next week on the weekly blog. So take care, guys. This is Sean Butner signing off. If you liked this video, please like and subscribe. Also, check out this video over here if you want some more personal development or to learn more about living your personal beautiful revolution. See you guys there. Take care.