Shawn Buttner argues that online arguments reward meanness as status, but real discourse requires critical thinking without hostility. He advocates detaching from ego, staying at peace with yourself, and treating others with grace even when they argue in bad faith.
Ever been on an argument or had some type of conflict with someone that challenged them a little bit, but it was only met with anger or the sense of vindictive meanness, which. I love that phrase. Or, you know, you can tell that they're not arguing in good faith. They're just trying to get you angry. They're just saying mean things to get a rise out of you. Well, know, we can argue, we can think critically, and we can stand up for what we think is right in the world without being a holes about it, guys. So as we look out there, you know, this anger and frustration and vitriol that comes with being on the Internet, you know, we've kind of just become accustomed to this Internet culture that being mean scores you points, right? Is. It's. It's like it's some sort of cultural badge that when I'm mean to people that are not like me, that I can, you know, have some status online. And, you know, our words online are meant to be painful and anonymous and without any type of fear of retribution. Socially, you know, emotionally, physically, you know, a lot of times you wouldn't say something to somebody's face. But, you know, our words matter, our conduct in the world matters, our character matters. And a big part of just being kind is being a little bit less attached to our beliefs, to our judgments, to how we, you know, have that. Those gut reactions against people. And it's all about, you know, being at peace with yourself, being at peace with being in conflict without having to dehumanize or demonize other people. So, you know, if you've ever, you know, gotten into a really contentious fight online or with somebody that you work with or a family member, you know, how could you have been more kind in that space to yourself? So you didn't get as riled up for something that's just words. And a lot of times, or how could you be more kind to the other person by just giving space or recognizing, like, hey, like, you're not here in good faith. So you know what? Like, what you say does not impact me because you're not trying to learn. You're not curious. You're not trying to better understand yourself and better understand the world through how you're showing up. And I hope that that concept comes up, because that's essentially like, that's what I want for you guys to be thinking about today is how can I move through the world with more grace, with more peace, with more joy in your heart, and be more resistant to other people dinging it? Because if we're going to overcome this Internet culture of meanness equals points on the scoreboard, we have to be less reactive. It'd be like, okay, you're being a jerk and we'll move on. We can't let that impact how we feel during the day. And I know it can be so hard. It could be so hard, guys. But you know, if we can get less reactive, if we can start to reward people for being curious with how we interact with each other, that I think will have a better thing. And, and so I just wanted to say that today that's what's been on my mind. And it's something I thought, you know, we need a better conversation on. So, yeah, you know, if you guys are struggling with any type of person, interpersonal communications with people, a lot of the work that I do as a coach is help kind of be a sounding board. So if you want to learn how to communicate better, you want to learn how to deepen relationships that are important to you, go to SeanButter.com coaching and you know, we'll get you set up with a free one hour strategy session to help you work on your personal skills, your communication, your leadership, all that kind of stuff. And to help if you're having, if you're always angry, like maybe we can help you feel a little bit more relaxed so you can be kinder to those around you. So that said, guys, we'll keep it short today. I just want to say next week we'll probably be doing the morning show early. I have a whole set of training meetings for the coaching certification that I have. So, you know, just sharpening the saw there. But so I'll do these before we do the like day long zooms, which zooms of doom. But it's gonna be great. So. All right guys, I'll see you at the same time. I'll see you at 10 o' clock tomorrow and then probably 8 o' clock all next week. All right, guys, take care. See. Hey, Dave, see you there, man. Hope you're well and old.
