In this solo coaching video, certified high‑performance coach Sean Buttner addresses introverted viewers who feel blocked from speaking up in large groups such as meetings, presentations, or social gatherings. He opens by acknowledging recent production hiccups and explains his shift toward content that serves introverts. He references Susan Cain’s Quiet as a primer for understanding introversion in an extroverted world, then moves to the core problem: the frustration of not finding a space to share ideas. Buttner argues that speaking up is a lever for career advancement and leadership visibility, and that the world needs the thoughtful contributions of introverts. He shares personal stories—from high‑school friend dynamics to the challenge of making new connections in college—and highlights the mindset that fuels his growth: choosing growth over comfort. Building on that mindset, he introduces a concrete tactic he calls the “five‑second rule,” which instructs listeners to count to five after a thought arises and then voice it, even if it feels awkward. Repeated practice, he says, builds confidence, improves conversational navigation, and ultimately lets introverts make a larger impact. The video concludes with a motivational call to apply the growth mindset and five‑second rule to become more confident, joyful, and influential in personal and professional communities.
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Foreign. Hey, good morning, everyone. Welcome to start your day. Great. Start your day with the coach. I am your host, certified high performance coach Sean Butner. And today we're talking about if you've ever been frustrated, speaking up in large groups. And I'm talking to you more, my introverted friends. Now, first, I know that the show's been a little bit on and off, so I just wanted to really quickly say I'm okay. I know some people had some concerns about that, and I appreciate your notes on that. So thank you so much for that. And, you know, I've been trying to reconfigure a little bit how I'm going about creating content for y'. All. So I think at least for the next near term, you'll hear me talking a lot more about being introverted, being an introvert in large organizations and just kind of being out in the world being more inner focused. Because, you know, this video stuff does not come naturally. It takes a lot of energy. And I want to make sure I'm doing a good job for you doing something that's valuable and a little bit different. So that's my aim and informative and inspirational. So, yeah, so we'll talk about that. You know, this is the book by Susan Cain, if you've ever heard of the book, Quiet. My wife likes to call it the operating manual to me, Sean. So if you haven't read it, it's definitely worth it if you are an introvert to kind of normalize being in an extroverted world. If you work or live with an introvert, it's really informative on how to understand them a bit more and just build better relationships, because that's really good. But that's not what we're talking about today. We're talking about how to speak up in larger groups. And if you've ever had the experience where you have to give a presentation and a business meeting, you have to. You're in a big group of friends and so, you know, people are discussing something and you never feel like you can find your space to say what's on your mind, to contribute to the conversation and make that good point, then I'm with you. I've been there so many times, and it's something that I've had to work on and build this tool set in order to stand out in meetings sometimes when it's important, you know, because sometimes the people that stand out are the ones that get promoted. Sometimes the people that stand out are the ones that get picked as a partner. Sometimes the People that can speak their mind are the ones that are noticed and, you know, become the leaders. And if you're more inner focused, you get your energy from thinking things through, from processing things a bit more. The world needs more of you right now. You know, I feel like a lot of the vitriol on online is people just doing before thinking. And so right now we need more introverts out on the Internet, out in the world, you know, leading organizations, you know, doing good works. And just as much as we need the extroverted folks to do the communication part or the things that we're not great at. So it's not a team introvert versus team extrovert or anything like that, but that thoughtfulness, that power that we have, we can bring to people is super important. So if you've ever felt that frustration and not being able to speak up, if you've ever felt like maybe your idea wasn't worthy of sharing or, you know, you had that lack of confidence in what you were thinking, this is for you guys. Like, you are important. You know, there's a lot that could be done that could be helped from being more confident. The world needs you again, so I'll hammer that home. Okay, so what's kind of like when I remember growing up and, you know, I had a group of really good, tight friends and, you know, one guy was the guy who talked to everyone. You know, we all kind of fell into these different roles, which is awesome when you have a group that has different styles of, you know, how they manage energy and how they communicate. So, you know, my buddy James is always like, handle like talking to the people. When we go to restaurants, reservations, all that stuff that was a little bit more reserved. Um, but, you know, when it came to discussing things, I would often talk with James or any of my other friends and have really thoughtful responses on things that were going on in their lives that they just had blindsights on. So, you know, having those roles is important, but really, like, when it came to going to college, right, I needed to. I wasn't going with my group of friends from high school. And I knew that in order to survive and make friends, I would need to have some type of. I'd have to push myself a bit more to get out there. Right. And so the mindset that helped me through that phase when I was not talking to people hardly at all because we had someone in the group to doing it to now having to have that role is to choose growth over comfort. Right? Right. Meaning that it was really uncomfortable to talk to new people that didn't know how they're gonna react, how I'd have to handle their energy. And, you know, some of my best friends of all time I met in college. And so, you know, and that was because I wasn't so afraid to interact in those social interactions at that point in time, right? So you could build that new group of friends and the new context and, you know, be happy and, you know, like, Dave, shout out to you. I know you're watching this now. You're one of those groups. And after this shift in me where I was able to talk a bit more, and I think we connected on, you know, music and just funny stuff. So. But, you know, so if you have this. This mindset of growth over comfort, like, hey, I need to learn this skill to survive in the world. Even if after like, going out and being a, you know, the vice president of the radio station at the dorm and kind of talking to people, I then have to, like, go back and, like, be alone for, you know, at least 12 hours, you know, or whatever it was. So that's the belief, right? If you believe you can choose growth over comfort, you will grow. So that is the base. But on top of that, what's a tactical thing you can do if you are a little bit more reserved in a situation? And it's something I like to call the five second rule. And what that is is if you have a thought in a conversation and you have someone that's maybe more domineering or someone that's kind of just talking your ear off, give yourself five seconds and then just launch into it, right? And it could be awkward, it could be rude, but that's okay. Because the whole idea is to get used to interrupting people if you need to, and get used to getting the thing in your head out. And like I said, like, it's. It'll expend a lot of energy, especially if you're introverted, but you get the thing out there, you get the practice, and then as you get better at this tactic, you can use it more strategically when you need to in those important meetings, when, you know, you're talking, having that deep conversation with your spouse and you're not able to communicate what you're saying, or a business partner, that kind of stuff. So that's, you know, the technique. And you'll find that you'll come more confident just with that practice and expressing ideas and the value that you bring to the table and your ability to navigate conversations and lead. Right. Because that's ultimately I think we all want to do at some point in certain areas of our life. So now you guys have a new tool to practice if you do have that struggle of speaking up in large group and really, you know, again, choose growth over comfort. Use the five second rule to feel more confident when you need to and go out there and change the world, guys. So that's it. This is Sean Botnaire saying live with more joy, personal growth and impact in your communities. And I will talk to you guys tomorrow. See you then.
