Sean Butler argues that comparing yourself to others stalls progress because you don't see their full effort, luck, and support. Instead, measure yourself against your own past performance through daily questions on work, relationships, health, and contribution. High performance is incremental improvement at your own pace, not constant maximum effort.
Hey, with the coach, I'm your host, Sean Butner, certified high performance coach. And today we're going to be talking about going at your own pace because there's this classic pressure of achieving, of chasing your ambition, of getting success and the pace at how you get there that can drive you kind of mad. So if, you know, if you've ever been trying to get a promotion, if you've ever been trying to deepen a relationship, if you've ever been trying to, you know, get healthier and you haven't been happy or you've been frustrated with the pace, that's what we're talking about today. Because, you know, that feeling of impatience, that feeling of not measuring up can actually keep you from the progress that you want. But, you know, I know that you've been striving and working for so long, you know, you keep at it and eventually, you know, along the way, you want to be able to find that feeling of joy and confidence that comes from just putting forth your best. So, you know, there's this saying out there in the world that's, you know, comparison is the root of all suffering, right? And I think it's really comparing ourselves to other people. So other people's careers, other people's relationships, other people's success, other people's, you know, ability, talent, you know, and, and this comparison of, oh, they're doing so good and I'm not, so I'm not enough, you know, this is where some of the negative self talk can kind of get in our head. And the truth is, is like, you don't know the full picture. You don't know how hard people work to get the success they want. You don't know how hard or how lucky people are or what breaks they have or, you know, the connections or the relationships that are help fueling how they're doing out in the world. And as such, nobody knows that about you either. So, you know, if you feel like you've been working really hard and nobody's recognized it, it's not that it's not worthy of celebration and I'm here to tell you that it is. And it's necessary to say, oh, I've been, I've been on the path, I have been striving, I've been trying to move my life forward. And you know, it can be lonely sometimes, but you know, they're doing the work, right? And part of this high performance journey is doing the work. It's struggling, it's striving, it's sweating, it's toiling and it's part of what I love about what I do is to just help people unlock their progress, unlock that. That sense of joy and confidence on the journey of, you know, chasing ambitions and. And, you know, getting in, reaching a higher level. So all that said, should we give up on competition? And the answer is no. We just need to shift our focus. You know, it's better. Instead of comparing yourself to everyone else, it's better to compare yourself to you, right? How you were yesterday, how you were last week, how you were a month ago. If you can keep focus on, like, you start asking yourself these questions in all areas of your life. Like, did I try my best today with my work? Did I try my best today with the kids, with my relationships, with my f. Family and friends? Did I try my best in creating the health that I need to be fully vibrant, to be fully, you know, stoked about life? Am I fully doing my best in providing value for my organization so we help more people, so we advance our goals, we advance our missions. And the focus is, did I play all out? Did I do my best? Did I really put myself out there consistently over time in all areas of my life? And you're like, that sounds really exhausting. And that's part of the whole idea and the thought process of being a high performer. It's how do you consistently improve? And so that's the basis of what I do on the one on one stuff, is help people answer these questions in a way that works for them. Because, you know, it's not that you have to be on 100% of the time, but it's, you know, those times that you're not arresting to help you propel forward in what you're chasing at your own pace, right? So it could be. Take you a month to do something that it could take somebody two months to do or a week to do. And that's totally fine. We have to go at our own pace. Need to figure that out by ourselves. And sometimes talking with someone, with someone one on one with a process, with the perspective, with the challenge, when you know you're actually slacking off and you know it, but you know, you don't have that relationship in your life to be like, hey, quit doing that, bud, you know, is super valuable. So, you know, there is no timeline for striving to do your best. You know, you can go at your own pace, but, you know, if you can say, like, I did my best that I could do today and I'm happy with that progress, you'll sleep better, you'll feel more at ease. You won't care about who the neighbor or how the neighbors are doing or how your family, other family members are doing because you know that you are making forward progress. You know that you are advancing the important things, the meaningful things in your life. And that's what life is all about. So if you need a little bit extra help one on one, you can always go to seanbauder.com coaching. That's why I say that all the time. But if not, just know that it's okay to go at your own pace. It's okay to you are enough and you're going to do what you need to do right now and what you're capable of. But just know that and try to connect to that feeling of like, I showed up today, I did my best today and things will work out. If I continue on this path, I can continuously make incremental improvements. It'll work out. Okay, that's it, guys. I'll be here tomorrow. Same time, same place. Go forth, Live with more joy, more personal growth and more impact in your communities. And this is Sean Butner signing out.
