Shawn Buttner explores how values differ from identity. Values are flexible principles like respect and collaboration, while identity hardens into rigid labels that divide us. He argues that focusing on shared human values instead of partisan identities like Democrat or Republican could help people move past entrenchment.
Stupid Instagram, guys. I'm telling you. Come on. Looks like it's gonna go. And that kicks out when I go live. Okay, welcome to start your day with a coach. I'm your host, Shawn Butner, where we talk about ideas that can help you advance in your life and attain your goals quicker. As a certified high performance coach, I help a lot of people through discussions one on one, figure out their lives and advance quicker. And so I have had this idea for a while that I wanted to talk about. I was trying to get it for this morning's show, and full disclosure, I kept redoing it. So I thought I'd just get the idea out and see what you guys think. So this discussion is intended to. To be a little bit more collaborative. So if you have an idea, you have something you'd like to add to the conversation, please post that in the comments below. So, and the idea is about values versus identity. And I feel like this could be a touchy subject, which is probably why I've been really trying to think this through. So first off, this is not a finished thought for me. I'm trying to, like, think through this as I go, which is why I figured I'd open up to you guys. Because, you know, a lot of times as a coach, I'm talking about what are our values, how are we showing up, how are we manifesting and being bold and sharing that out in the world? And that's all great and good, but I think, you know, we've also, especially in the past couple years on social media, seen like the dark side of identities, turning our values turning into identities. Right? So, you know, the idea that, you know, America was found founded on Enlightenment principles and, you know, principles from Christianity and all that stuff, that's fine, but it was not found on the identity of scientists and religious people. Might be controversial statement on its own. And what do I mean by that? It's the underlying values of the Enlightenment of religion definitely formed a lot of how the nation grew, right? And a lot how Americans American culture developed. But we get into trouble when we become these fixed identities from those values. And, you know, the thing that I constantly think about is how do we get out of this cycle of Democrats versus Republicans, right? Because those are identities. It's identity politics. It's identity manifestation. And it's very hard to switch ideas of your identity when you're like, set in it. And that's basically the idea that we need to kind of let go of these petty identities that pit us against each other because it's not helpful. It really prevents us from seeing eye to eye, from seeing what we have in common and from moving forward, you know, So a lot of times it prevents us from showing respect for people because we think we are the force of good or we have it right and they have it wrong. You know, if you've ever encountered someone or been the person that was clearly wrong in an argument or a situation, but you still fought, or they still fought and couldn't admit that they were wrong, like, that's the kind of behavior that I'm talking about that I hope we can dispel. So my thoughts on that are like, values are a lot more flexible than identity and can kind of accomplish the same thing, you know, so, like, I have a value that I believe most people initially are good and most people deserve respect. And, you know, we start from there, right? And if you don't show that back, then we have, you know, it's not my identity that I'm a good person, will always show respect. It's my identity that we should show respect. And when you don't, then we have to kind of deal with that. Even if I tend to try to be respectful in that nature or, you know, I believe that everyone should be trying their best at whatever they do, right? Very simple principle that I got from my dad, you know, my parents just do your best and, you know, if you really want something and put your mind to it, you can achieve it, right? Pretty like simple, basic stuff that's really served me in my career in tech. Or we talk about beliefs like, I believe in collaboration, you know, everything humans have done in a capitalistic society and whatever right have been done with other groups of people, for other groups of people. So this idea of I'm an individual expressing myself fully in the world, I think doesn't hold up to a lot of scrutiny because you're an individual that requires people to give you money for your business or requires a community to support you when stuff, really tough stuff happens. So essentially I'm trying to think through and get to is that maybe there's an idea of, you know, we need to have a bigger identity, right? That we're like humans, which is the big esoteric. Like, what does that mean? There's all these other categories of people and cultures and practices in ways of looking at things. But ultimately, I think if we can focus more on what values do we want to embody in the world, and less what's my identity in the world, the better off we'll be. And maybe I'LL leave it at that. So if you guys have any thoughts on that, put that below. I'd love to hear from you. Just something I'm thinking through right now, and we're talking about mindset shifts and I've been reading this really awesome book called Think Again, which is kind of getting me questioning assumptions and things in my life. And I think everyone should have that like, unlearning process, right? And some of the unlearning I think we might need to do as a culture is these silly identities that we just cling to because I don't know, I don't know the answer to that question. So anyways, that's my ramblings on this idea of values. I hope you have defined your values and you take a look at what things have you attached to your identity. Because again, I feel like as soon as it's your identity, as I'm a good person that's always respectful versus I have the value of most people are good and I should try to treat them with respect. That little distinction right there can make it really tricky if you're in a situation where people could take advantage of your good nature or just become a punching bag for people that are not respectful. So again, kind of just rambling, but hope you enjoyed this. We'll be back tomorrow with the normal show with something a little bit more intelligent. But I thought, hey, this could be cool just to kind of figure out some of this, these ideas together. So thanks for coming along the journey. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Take care.
