Three Things I Believe Everyone Seeks | Meaningful Revolution Podcast

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Meaningful Revolution podcast. I am your host and certified high performance coach, Sean Butner. Today we got a really great show for you. We're talking about joy, growth and impact. Why that's important, why I think everyone is chasing that in some way or other, what that really means, and how to go about and create more abundant joy, more progress, and that feeling of mattering in your life each day, because that, in essence, is the meaningful revolution. So if you're joining us for the first time, just so that you know this show, we usually do interviews about what people really nerd out about in order to help you and inspire you to live your fulfilling and meaningful life. And in a life that's worth living, so, so many times we can be so overwhelmed with chasing what we think we want in life that we forget that, you know, not spending time with family and friends, not taking care of our health, not taking care of our lives, not living our lives fully with zest and exuberance is not a life that is happy. It's not a life that is inspiring. It's not a life that tends to have people follow through with. So that's where we're at today. So joy, growth, and impact. So as a certified high performance coach, these are three words that guide my business, right? It's my model for the world. It's what I think everyone is getting after because we all had these moments in our lives where there's transformations, right? Where we are thinking about changing careers. And a lot of it is because we want to be happier with the level of abundance we have, happier with the quality of our job, happy with the quality of our teammates and management. And so when we have a deficit there, right, that's when we decide to make the jump. That's when we go and leave our current situation and start something new. Start that grand adventure. So, you know, in essence, we're always saying, seeking to increase the amount of joy we have in our lives. And that is not saying that we're striving for 100% bliss every time, because that's impossible and it's not a worthy thing. But we can seek the silver lining. We can seek the fun, we can seek the humor in situations that are maybe not as fun or a little bit more serious or dire. And okay, so before I dig into why I think that's important, we are also always seeking progress, right? A lot of times when people leave a job, leave a relationship, or stop working out or stop any habit, it's because they're not feeling that sense of progress, they're not feeling that sense of getting results over time that they really want. And so if that's ever been you in your life, you know how frustrating it can be to put in all the sweat, the tears, the, the hours and not see the results that you're, you're going after. And so that happens long enough and we end up quitting because that's just not sustainable over time. And I can say this from experience in my coaching practice, this is why a lot of people seek a coach. Because it's like it's either, you know, decision time, it's either I'm going to quit this or I have to figure out a new way forward. And so, so much of progress is flexible thinking. It's that growth mindset that you hear in personal development all the time. But really it's not settling for consistently mediocre results. Right? That's why I'm a high performance coach. That's why I love high performance coaching. Because you're constantly being pushed into that next level of productivity, the next gear of your health, of your relationships, of your wellness, of your personal life. So it's a holistic approach to help you consistently feel that sense of progress. Because when you have it, that's when life's exciting, that's when you wake up with a pep in your step, ready to tackle the day. And when it's lacking, it can be miserable and especially over long periods of time. So people are always seeking to have progress, to increase their rate of progress towards whatever goals that they have and then impact. People want to know that they matter. And you want to know that when you make that cup of coffee for your spouse in the morning, that they appreciate it and that they appreciate you, that you know you've made a little difference in their life, maybe. Or you want to know that you are the top of your organization in sales and, you know, programming as a doctor, as a lawyer, as a therapist, or list goes on and on. But the point is that you want to know that you're contributing to your field, to your community, that you're serving your customers at the highest level. Because if you don't feel that connection, that you're helping people in some way advance their lives, that's when burnout or unfulfillment happens, or not unfulfillment, that's when you don't feel fulfilled. It's when you start to go through the motions. And again, you stop feeling that sense of progress. Because a lot of times we don't Feel like we make an impact. We don't feel like our actions are worthy to do at the level of excellence that we all need to be pushing ourselves to. I know that's a little bit of a forward statement, but where in your life have you been avoiding having a huge impact, being the role model? Where in your life have you been struggling to lead the pack to make sure that if your presence, if you left, your present lack of presence would be felt? That's a way to look at it. Or when you're there, people are relieved because they know that you're going to work. They know. They know that you're going to give it your best. They know that you're going to put your heart into it and that it's going to be amazing. Right? Because people want to be around the people that are constantly giving 100% effort. And it can be. It can be hard, Right. As we all know, there are things that get in people's ways that we can have fear, we can have doubts about ourselves, we can have frustration again about how hard we're working and not getting acknowledgement but not seeing results, not feeling that sense of connection we're going on. So that's why this episode's title, joy, Growth, Impact, Right? That's why most people come into a coaching practice like mine or myself, and that's how I kind of see the world in context of a meaningful revolution and your personal, meaningful revolution, that adding that sense of fulfillment, that sense of meaning to your life every day so that you feel like you're living a life that is adventurous, that's grand, that you're the pilot of your own story, the author of your own story, and it's important. And again, I think people are seeking that because that's how I was grown. I just was raised that way. Right. So I know that we go break it down again. Right. With joy. My parents were the best at making fun of bad situations growing up. You know, my mom had breast cancer, and I remember, you know, growing up and her being really sick from the chemotherapy here in the late 80s, early 90s. And, you know, she. She survived, right? So you don't have to worry about that. But her ability to make fun of losing her hair or, you know, trying to cheer up me and my brother, who were very young at that time, you know, stuck out to me or when the family had financial troubles, you know, it was always trying to find fun, even though circumstances were rough, you know, like maybe we didn't have enough money to buy all the groceries so we would make hot dogs the whole week. And that was fine, right? It was. Me and my brother are like cool hot dogs. They're awesome. You know, we didn't realize, and it was never let on how much the family was struggling, if that makes sense. And so that sense of optimism, that sense of always trying to turn a situation to your own advantage, which I think is another particular definition of optimism, which is just always finding the opportunity and struggle as a self defense mechanism, I'm going to be honest with you, for me, it's a self defense mechanism because as Dale Carnegie said, you know, we can't control what happens to us in life, but we can control how we show up to meet each situation. And that's a paraphrase, but it's something like that. And so if you can have a terrible situation happen in your life and you can find a way to laugh at it, like that's hugely impactful, hugely powerful and it helps you with your resilience, you know, and so I, I don't think you can be joyful if you're not resilient. I think that's a huge distinction that I talk about and with clients a lot. But you know, I hope to be talking about, you know, here in this podcast because it really is true, that sense of joy is also what fuels resilience. Right. And when you don't feel that sense of joy, it can be the hope that things will get better in the future that pulls you through. So that's kind of how I think about that joy part. And yeah, and so that's from my parents, right? Growth. You know, this is also for my parents, but for me is always drilled in growing up to always give it a hundred percent when whatever you're doing right. And yes, humans, we don't always achieve that, but that striving to always give your best to direct 100 of your focus, to really make sure you finish things to the end. It's something that, you know, my dad, who was a tradesman, really believed in and really instilled in me, my brother, and it's helped me in my career. You know, when I got my first software gig at Walmart in 2007, right out of grad school, I actually had a business training. So I went to college to study business thinking that, you know, those skills are kind of jack all trades, you can land wherever you want to in the economy. So that's kind of how I thought about it going into college, that I was always interested in computers. But my grad school Program through the business school. I had two semesters of programming and my first job out of grad school is, you know, software engineering, which is crazy to actually say that out loud and think that that happened. But, you know, that was a huge jump for me, right, to be a professional software engineer without having a computer science degree, just a casual interest in programming from high school on and a couple of classes in college and. And so, you know, started that job and trying to think like I. There's so much I didn't know and kind of just learned on the job. I learned by saying yes to everything. And it led to this whole situation where when you keep saying yes to things, eventually you break, you know, especially in an organization that has way more work than could ever be done because I was working at Walmart Corporate there, so isd so shout out to all those folks that were with me on that journey, that part of my journey at least. And, you know, it was stressful. It was overwhelming. There was the first time in my life where I couldn't find that sense of joy. And I didn't really. I felt stuck and feel like I could advance in my career because I wasn't a great engineer. I didn't feel like I could switch jobs because I had so much student debt. And so there's all these factors where I just felt stuck and really feeling that sense of progress that I had some control over some parts of my life is really what helped me get out of that. And that was training for a marathon and seeing that I could handle longer and longer distances each week. It was, you know, reading up on personal finance and slowly chipping away at the mountain of student debt I had from all that. It was slowly but surely, like, by saying yes all the time, even though I was burnt out, I was learning a ton, you know, and I could see as the months and years went by that I became a much more competent engineer. Still not the best, but, you know, it was. I could hold my own and meetings and I could hold my own writing code and, you know, could find bugs really quick. That was a really good thing. And I could also talk to the business folks. And so as soon as I realized that, oh, I'm a programmer that can talk to the business and understand what's going on there and kind of translate like, that's kind of what I found in my sweet spot. And it took a lot of growth to get there, Took a lot of trying things, a lot of failing in my first job. But, you know, one of the best pieces of Advice I ever had for my first manager there at Walmart, Max Miller. Shout out to Max. He said that, you know, making mistakes is fine as long as you're not making the same mistake over and over. And so that what that means is become a master at making mistakes. And I can tell you tons and tons of stories of me screwing up stuff, but I don't tend to do it over and over again. You know, there's always a couple of lessons that you really need to sink in, but, you know, if you are continually trying things and learning, you're just becoming better. And so that eventually led to a job as a software engineer at Apple years later. And so I went from no computer science degree to being able to hold my own at one of the biggest companies, technology companies in particular, out in the world, which is amazing. It still doesn't seem real, but that happened, you know, and it was all because of that sense of growth and seeking that sense of growth and figuring out one thing when I felt stuck trying again to find that feeling that I was growing as a person. And I want that for each and every one of you. And I think that's important as we all journey on our meaningful revolutions as we do that, that grand, fulfilling transformation in our lives, are trying to live more into it as we possibly can, but that we want that sense of growth, we want that sense of joy along with it. Thirdly, impact, you know, part of it, I think it's just a human drive that we all seek to matter, right? You know, sometimes it can be ego, and that's bad when it's, you know, we overestimate our impact in people's lives. But you generally, like, I feel as a citizen, as a person, I want to leave teams, I want to leave situations, I want to leave communities that I interact with better than before I ever was in the equation, right? And that frame of mind is always like, okay, how do I add value here? How am I making sure that things are progressing, you know, a little bit easier for folks are things being called out that need to be called out so they can get addressed, so they can move forward quicker. That's really served me in my career. It helped me get a lot of promotions. When you're the person that is making your manager's job easier, your teammate's job easier, when you are, you know, actually like a weapon at what you do because you put in the hours, you've done, all the learning, and, you know, you can really show up on a project, do what you do best, and make everyone's life around better. Like, that's the person you want to work with, right? That's the kind of person you really want on your team, in your organizations every day. Right? And because the opposite. Like, if you've ever worked with, you know, bad apple, a dud, you know, someone that makes your life harder by being on the team, then you know, that's kind of a little piece of hell. Personally, you know, we all know that. And if you don't know that person, it's probably you. I'm kidding. Okay. There's usually. I mean, I'm sure at some point in your life, you've met that person that just made everything tougher and more tough than it needed to be. And so you did not want to work with them, you didn't want to be on their team, you didn't want to choose them on the playground, you know, to play football, all that kind of stuff. And it's all because of that focus on how to add value, how to make a dent in the universe as Steve Jobs, and how to, you know, make sure that your presence is felt. And so that's really served me in my career as a software engineer, as a coach, it served me in my relationships, and I think it'll serve you. And I think any good, meaningful revolution has to have that component of this matters. This is helping people progress is helping myself progress. This is something that is going to leave my little corner of the world a little bit better. So that's why I believe that everyone seeks more joy, more growth, and more impact. That's why I sign off sometimes on these podcast episodes with that. I don't think I ever really explained it, so I thought I'd do that in today's episode. But tell me what you think. Like, what are you really going after, if you would like or if anything really spoke to you today about your own pursuit in your life. Like how at a scale of 1 to 10, if we had to operationalize this, how joyful have you been the last three weeks in your life? And it's not just how you feel. How would your family members reach you? Because sometimes we think we're fine, but the people around us are like, you are grumpy. And we really need to figure out a different way because this is not a great energy you're bringing home after work or when you're with the kids or when whatever, when you're a fan, this particular person in the family, right? Like, that stuff matters. And as you think of that, you label that score of one, you know, completely dead. 10, you know, 100, like, you know, reach nirvana, enlightenment, blissed out, whatever. As you rate yourself on that, on a scale of 1 to 10, what three words would you assign to that number? Like, why did you choose? Seven? Why did you choose four? Why did you choose whatever? Right. Eight. Like, what are the three words that describe that? And that reflection, exercise of like, okay, I feel like it's an eight. And then you really kind of dig in. You're like, oh, it's an eight. Because, you know, I'm like careers humming along. I have a great relationship with the kids. Yeah, I wish I had more time for hobbies, but overall I think I'm pretty good. That's an eight. You know, that's a really much deeper analysis than just the number. Right? So, okay, growth. On the scale of 1 to 10 the last three months, how have you been building the skills that you need to advance your career? Relationships in life? Do you know what those things are, those particular skills? Because if you don't have that question, of course it's going to be really tough to answer how well you've been progressing. But having those skills, skills identified is a great way to measure, you know, how you are learning, you know, so it's a measurable thing other than just kind of like a gut feeling. And I like to do over time to the last three months because, you know, sometimes you have a good day, sometimes you have a bad day. But it's this law of averages that'll generally show you trends. So, okay, scale one to ten, how have you been progressing and learning those skills that will advance your life in many dimensions? And again after that number, write those three words that describe why you assigned that number to that score. Okay, three impact. How impactful have you been over the last quarter, last three months with your family, on your team, in your health, and how you feel in, you know, getting things done and advancing your field, you know, that type of thing. Again, you know, write yourself one to ten, ten being like super impactful. One being like, nobody knows that I'm here. And write three words on why. And then final question on all these three is for each of these questions is how could you bump up that number by two? Or how could you add more if you're, you're at 10, right? So either or there. And I love that question as a high performance coach because it helps you think about, hey, like, how do I, how do I reach that next level? How do I progress? It's another progression question, but fantastic. I love It. So, okay, guys, if you are like loving this episode and you're like, wow, I wish I had more of these types of conversations, I want to let you know that I am a coach. I do have some open spots for coaching. And good news, you can apply for a free one hour strategy session, high performance strategy session with me by hitting a link below ever you're listening to or watching this episode. So what we do is you fill out a survey, takes about 15 minutes. It just one, helps me figure out what to focus on on that call. Two, it weeds out people that aren't super serious about reaching their next level, you know, and you can usually tell from that survey. So make sure you answer honestly. And so you do that application, you get an option to select the free strategy session and what that means is there. I might take some of those bits of that conversation, I'll record it and I might put it on a YouTube series one day to help show and highlight the power of coaching. And then if you're not comfortable with that, there's also a way to pay for a private session, but that happens after the application. You choose your option, you hit the checkout, either it's free or you pay for the private session. Get your schedule and boom. We are having a conversation like this where I'm asking you questions to rate yourself in different areas of your life and why you assign it and kind of digging in and helping build a plan with high performance habits on how to advance your career, your life, your relationships, the whole holistic thing. People love this call. So if you are interested, hit that link below. If not, no worries. Continue to enjoy these episodes and we'll see you next week on the Meaningful Revolution podcast. This is Sean Butner saying live with more joy. Have more growth and impact in your community. And if you'd like to see last week's episode, it's right over here. And we talked with Michael Seeley about the mind, body, connection and health. So if you are looking to really advance your meaningful revolution, your big goal, your career, the big things in your life, you have to take care of your body, you have to take care of your mind. And that episode talks about it all. So check it out over there again somewhere on the screen. We'll see you there. Take care.