In this motivational monologue, Shawna Lynne (Delulu Today) explores how to consciously build one’s identity by choosing the words and actions that feel authentic rather than merely pleasing others. She emphasizes the importance of making decisions—big or small—without fear of judgment, highlighting how anxiety and people‑pleasing erode self‑definition. Shawna shares personal reflections on her own personality traits (e.g., being flirty, loving activity) and explains how granting herself permission to stop seeking validation fuels authenticity. She links daily habits such as dancing, planning, movement, sauna sessions, and purposeful scheduling to the practice of building resilience and the law of attraction. By outlining a concrete short‑term plan (drinking water, changing clothes, dancing) she demonstrates how to translate intention into action, encouraging viewers to confront fear, embrace curiosity, and actively shape their dreams.
Chapters
Hey, you're here. Okay, today conversation is gonna be about identity. Who are you as an individual? What words are you gonna attach to your personality to give you your identity? What words feel good? What words feel hopeful? What words feel hopeless? Building your identity means understanding how you show up every day from someone else's perspective. You take yourself out of the equation, and you think Of all the things people do to judge you. And then you decide, am I keeping it? Am I believing it? Or am I denying it? Am I keeping it? Am I believing it? Am I denying it? Or am I owning it or disowning it? That is your decision, just yours. You in that moment, that is the place, that is the moment where you stand and decide what to do. That is the very scary place right there where anxiety starts to grow, where identity starts to diminish and get taken over by other people's beliefs. By anxiety, by depression, by overthinking. When there is a decision about your identity and you are invited to make a decision, make the decision. Own it. Do it. Don't worry what anyone else thinks in that moment. Just make the decision and own it. If it was the decision that was not the one that was most popular, you will feel it. That's okay. It goes away. If it's the decision that everyone likes, you'll be Validated. You'll feel good. You'll be like, oh, I like this. If it's the decision that no one thought about, they might be curious, perplexed. They might think you a little insane or jealous that they didn't think about it, but they won't be so welcome to it so easily. And you're like, that's brilliant. Why don't you see me? Well, building your identity in your family, there was a vibration of authenticity. And if you choose over and over to do what everyone else is doing because you do not want to make a decision, you are holding yourself back. From building yourself, your identity, and you are feeding anxiety. Decisions are always going to be right and wrong. Decisions as simple as choosing where to eat don't feel good if you disappoint somebody. Doesn't matter. They don't care. If they want a different decision, they're an adult. They'll make their own decision. They'll tell you they don't like it. That's it. We don't have to worry about assuming what other people may feel and making our decisions to make them feel better. Doesn't work. I've tried it for years, years and years. I thought that was my identity, and I put that out there. If I do this for you, you will like me. That is a personality. I am happy to do all those things for you, and then you like me more. That makes me feel good. I like that. That is part of who I am. I like to do things for people. It makes me feel good. It is part of my personality. If you want to take advantage of it, It hurts me. If you enjoy it and say thank you, I'll do it again and again because I like it. There's only one place in it that makes me feel good is when you appreciate it. I am doing it to please you because it makes me feel good. I like it. We've talked about it. It's good for both of us. It's mutual pleasure. Not mutual compromise. I love being part of people's lives. If you invite me in, I am grateful. There's a place of judgment that we sit in. We have to decide, do we care what people think? Or, and are we gonna listen? Or are we gonna do what we want based on the vibration we have, even though it's uncomfortable and different than other people? It's a choice. But if you can't choose what you're gonna eat when you go to the fridge, then how do you make a choice for what you're gonna do with your life? If you can't choose to pick a time and get out of bed and be accountable, then how are you gonna hold a job? If you can't make a choice about what you're gonna wear and only wear black, How are you ever going to feel alive in black only? How are you gonna stand out once in a while or buy something that's unique that matches your vibe if you only wear black? We need the power and strength to step over anxiety and what people say and how they care. We need to do what's right for us from the inside. Oh, how long it took me to get to this place! How much pain did I have to take off my plate to get to the place where there's some clarity that I can build my identity based on what I want? I give my permission, myself permission to not please anybody again if it doesn't feel good for me. And I am learning every day because I'm being curious and testing every day what I like to do with my personality. Well, I'm flirty. I like being flirty. It is fun when I go out to share energy with positive people. Positive people flirt. That feels good. Feels good to look at someone and feel an attraction and feel a little bit better. It's okay. It's good. We like that feeling. We do a lot to keep ourselves looking good. We would like some attention. Just make it nice, respectful. It's pretty simple. I love activity. There's no way I'm sitting still. Maybe for a day or 2, if I have a project and I'm stuck, I'm working my ass off, I will sit still. But even that sitting still is me moving and grooving. I'm gonna dance by myself and go crazy and do what I need to do. To feel good in the vibration I'm choosing every day. It is hard work, commitment. If we are looking to feel healthy, if you are looking to build a life that has Interaction, communication, another person, desire, arousal, intimacy, intercourse. If you are looking for any parts of these on the checklist, what are you doing to invite them in? Where is the law of attraction of these are the things I want? Do you know what you want? Can you make a decision? Make a decision when you open the fridge what you're eating. Make a decision where you're going for dinner. Make a decision about what time you want to leave and when you want to come home, and be okay with the other person and their feelings. That is a practice I'm asking you to step into. That is a practice that will build your resilience of making decisions that will help you be successful in your life. Right now it is 9 o'clock in my day. There are 4 things I would like to do before 11. I would like to get in a dance-off. I would like to write, review one more of my chapters. I would like to unload my groceries. I don't think I even brought them in. Oh, there they are. I would like to do my sauna blanket and take a bath. And answer some emails. So that's 5 things in 2 hours. It's just not gonna happen. So as much as I'd like to be able to do all those things, I cannot. So I could start getting anxious, like, oh my God, I went out today and I wasted time, and I can't believe I didn't do those things. I'm like, okay, I'll answer the emails tomorrow morning. I'll totally read while I'm in the bath, or maybe I can read I'll dance for an hour, read for half an hour, do the sauna blanket, and skip the bath. I'll take a shower in the morning. Okay. I can build that out in my head. Then I can do that plan, take away anxiety and commitment to what I'm doing. So what am I going to do now? Well, first, I'm going to drink some water. Then I'm going to change my clothes. And then I'm going to put on some crazy music, and I'm going to dance. And I'm gonna let out all my energy from the day, and I'm gonna move my body, and I am going to be free in my spirit and my soul. I need that to grow. It's part of my personality. I like to be crazy sometimes. And now is the time. So I invite you to keep watching and keep thinking. What do you want to do? What do you want to do? What is there in your head that you are scared of? Let's do it. Let's think about the plan of the steps we need to get over the fear and the anxiety of doing it. It's a process. It takes a while. If you want to do it, gotta start thinking it. Start the law of attraction. The thought you think Right? Try it. Okay, I'm going to do my things because I'm on a vibration that is beautiful. And I just got 2 really beautiful texts from 2 people who are very happy to support me. I'm very lucky. And you can do anything you want to do if you start to think about it in reality. There's gonna be a bridge to get there. We could do it. Anything is possible. Do you want to move? Are you ready to get unstuck and think a little differently? You ready to shake it all up? Are you ready to 5 flow? Come on, think about it. I'm gonna leave you with that. I think that you're ready to start thinking about thinking about what you can do with your dream. Start thinking about thinking about thinking about what you can do with your dream. I'll see you soon.
