In this solo monologue, Shawna Lynne reflects on three years of practicing psychotherapy and shares what she has learned about making therapy effective. She begins by describing the common fears and misconceptions that keep people from seeking help—high costs, vulnerability, and the anxiety of being judged by a stranger. She explains how therapy can feel uncomfortable because it surfaces painful emotions, but emphasizes that confronting these feelings is essential for growth. Shawna then discusses the importance of self‑awareness and setting personal boundaries, describing how limiting certain conversations (e.g., politics, TV, complaints) raises her own vibration and improves relationships. She outlines a concrete habit‑building framework: morning wake‑up dialogues, moving the body, purposeful evening routines, and incremental two‑week habit changes inspired by "Atomic Habits." From a therapist’s perspective, she illustrates how she guides clients to become the leaders of their own change, asking probing questions about relationship decisions and personal agency. Shawna also provides practical pathways to therapy, including low‑cost placement student options, free introductory sessions, and the possibility of booking her own services. Finally, she invites listeners to join a community of positivity, announcing upcoming Instagram Live sessions and encouraging ongoing engagement. Throughout, she references Brené Brown on vulnerability and stresses that therapy works only when the client is ready to be open and take responsibility for change.
Chapters
Hi. As I transition and celebrate my 3rd year of psychotherapy, I think it was— let's start again. Hey and welcome. I'd like to talk about therapy and take away some of the fears Of how it works. I'm going to explain it from a perspective of the therapist and the things that I learned over the past 3 years that I had no idea would be so impactful and so life-altering for me. Here's where it starts. Therapy is difficult. It's hard if you go And you're not ready to deal because then you're paying a lot of money, nothing is happening, and you're feeling really terrible about your choice. If you decide to go and you're ready to open up and be vulnerable to a stranger, then you start to have all that doubt in your head of judgment. What will that person think about me? Also scary. How do we— you know, there are studies that people tell their hairdressers, manicurists, massage people, all their service providers, more than they tell their therapist. It's like you can dump when there's no attachment to an action plan. You're just dumping. When you go to therapy, counseling, When you have any conversation with intention for change, it's going to be uncomfortable. It's going to bring up pain. It's going to create feelings of disappointment and anger and frustration and regret and shame. It will. But that's the point. Those are feelings we live with every single day. They take over our mind because The 10% of our brain that acts, our conscience, is negative because our world is negative and it's really hard to stay positive. The 90% of our subconscious holds our wonderful memories, our good solutions, our thoughts, but our negative 10% is so much stronger than the 90%. We act on it way faster. So I'm going to invite you to follow along. And see if this is something that can work for you in order to start the therapeutic process, if you're interested. If you're not, I get it. It is a scary thing, and a lot changes when you choose self-awareness and start to look in and change yourself, because when you change, things around you change. And here's what I've noticed. It was a few years of my family not Um, respecting or agreeing with me. So that caused a lot of animosity, and I spent a few years not engaging. I've changed many friendships because I've set boundaries that in our conversations, in social time, I only want to stay in what are you doing in your life for positivity. Now my job entails listening to people talk about their big challenges all day. So when I go out, I need to change my mindset and talk about all the things I'm dreaming and planning about. So that changed a lot of my friendships because some of the people in my life don't know how to do that, and that's okay. I'm here if they decide they want to go on that journey and come back into my life. I will hold space over here. But at this point, because I sit across from individuals every day, day after day, I've listened to— I have 1,000 hours of sitting across from somebody. 1,000 hours is when you graduate to the next level of placement, of practice, and I hit that. I graduated from all the pieces That I needed to qualify for CRPO. So in that reflection, I'm thinking about all the things that I heard that triggered me. It just so happens that every story that I am dealing with, thinking about, processing, ends up in the chair across from me. So every day my own problems are thrown in my face with other people's emotions, negative emotions. And how easy is it for me to drop in and say, oh my God, yeah, damn right, that is awful. That person treated you horribly. You have every right to be mad. I agree. My next question is, okay, what do you want to do? Are you leaving the relationship? Are you going to hold it against them? Or are you going to make the leader— the effort to make the change? You need to be the leader of change. It is a lot of work. It is a thankless job. But it changes the vibration of your interactions in new relationships. Let me say that again. Changes the interactions in your relationships. Changes the— nope. Oh, see, that's what happens. I say really cool things and I can't say them again. Changes the vibration of your interactions in your relationships. So how that works, when you are self-aware about the things that trigger you— so for me, one of those stories is in my social life. I don't want to talk about Netflix, I do not watch TV, and I can't listen to complaining, and I don't talk about politics. So those are 3 limiting conversations that people have when we're out. Those are conversations that make me anxious. And bring negativity to my mind. So when I have a precious moment where I get to go to an event and enjoy and dance and raise my vibration, I choose not to be in those conversations. When I state— make those statements, people can judge me as harsh. I know, but those are my boundaries. People may say, that's not fair, like, I'm not going to talk to her. Okay, I'm happy to sit and not have a conversation. I've been talking all day. Or they can sit down and ask me about my incredible day and the things I'm doing in this amazing opportunity of my life. They can share their wonderful things that are happening in their life. I love to share joy, and I'm hoping that people in my life and around me Humans have enough joyful things to share, and if you're coming out on a weekend night and cannot find a joyful story to share, then it's time to check in on yourself. If you are lacking joyful stories, then I think it's time to find some, or take the time and appreciate the little moments in your life that will make Your vibration higher and bring more joyful ideas into your mind. It is a cycle. It is a constant pattern of thought where we need to sink into making change. So therapy is scary. Yes, it is. Sitting across from an individual, telling your story to a stranger is ridiculous. How do we choose that? How do we choose a therapist on the internet based on words? Personality, energy is what's important. Hold that thought. When you think about processing your worst stories and being your most vulnerable With somebody you don't know. That's ridiculous. We tell— studies have shown that we tell our hairdressers, our manicurists, our massage, all our service providers more information than we do our therapists. And I totally get that. So let me invite you on a journey of how to start to process if you're willing and able to go for therapy and get value for your money. If you're not ready, then why go? Don't waste your money. It's so expensive, and it's going to be challenging, and it requires you to be the leadership of change in your life, which means that the people around you are all going to push back, and that's going to be uncomfortable. If you know those things and you're willing to take the journey for a year— it's probably about a year, sometimes 2— where the things around you change for the better For the better. I have my life that I have followed this plan, and I am in the most amazing place I've ever been, with the most success that I could imagine, with the best relationships that feed my soul. How grateful I am for that. And I can't believe— this is the reflection and awareness. Holy— oh my God, love to swear but really gonna try not to swear. I am amazed that this worked beyond belief. So here's how it started for me, and here's the process I continually see with the mentors, the placement students, my clients, teachers, students, all humans, every human, non-generational, from 2 to 81. I had an 81-year-old client yesterday. Here's how it goes. You have a dialogue in your head of your value. Am I worthy of life? Can I do these things? How do I commit? Where do I find the time? I'm so tired. I don't know where to start. If any of those thoughts enter your head at least twice a day, Then the decision to make change is not going to happen because making change requires a whole dialogue of difference. It goes like this. Okay, today's the day that I'm not going to be negative, but I'm just going to be neutral. Let's go to neutral. I'm exhausted. Nope, I'm okay. I'm tired because I did a lot. I am okay to be tired. I'm gonna take 20 minutes to relax, then I'm gonna choose to get up because if I sit on the couch all night, I'm gonna feel more tired. That is the truth. So that motivation to get off the couch is the first place because when we sink into the couch, we sink into the same— we watch Netflix, we give in, we sit around, we surf the web, we surf social media. But we're sitting and not moving and not dreaming, not hoping. When you get up and go for a walk, your brain starts to move. If you get up and start to dance, your body feels a different vibration. If you engage in touch with your partner, hold hands, stretch together, sit on the floor, have a conversation, touch feet, and Watch a TED Talk together, have a real discussion, engage in conversation. If you are not partnered and exhausted at the end of the night, then watch something uplifting that's interactive, something that will make you think about different thoughts when you go to bed, because it's the beginning of the thought change that makes the action plan work. If you go to bed with a different thought process in your head, with a meditation on Siri as you fall asleep, with a podcast that is physically— that is mentally challenging or giving you information that you didn't know, if you are listening to music, brown noise, or going to bed ready to dream Put the intention into any of those thoughts. That's where we start. The next piece is waking up in the morning and planning your first thought. My first thought is, do not want to get out of bed, I am exhausted. First thought every morning, easy. My next thought is, that's not true. I love getting up and going to the gym and working out. That was the best time of my life. I need to get that back. That's who I am. So when the alarm goes off and my eyes open, I go, wouldn't I love to stay in bed? And I go, yes, when I'm 90. Right now, the exercise is calling you. Get up. And I do. Do I like it? No. Do I want to? Definitely not. Do I feel better as soon as I start? Absolutely, yes. Do I see the results of that every single day? Definitely. I am energized every day. I feel great every day. I'm eating healthier and making better choices, and my body is feeling good again. The same story happened when I did it. When I was 40 and 30, it seems every decade I commit to this and by the end of the decade something changes it. I know that pattern now— 20, 30, 40. So 50 has to be a different pattern. I have a different partner. Make different choices. Figure out what gets in your way and find the action plan. So start with the conversation every single day for 2 weeks. I can do this. I'm gonna make change. In 2 weeks, I'm gonna change one habit. The book Atomic Habits. After 2 more weeks, just get out of bed and go sit somewhere else. That is an amazing transition to do. And then keep that going. Just keep figuring that out. Get some support, get some help. You can do it. And when you feel good in some of those— changes, then go see a therapist and ask her, help me figure out the patterns so I can make change. As you figure out the patterns, you're going to find the interactions, relationships, and vibrations that exist between all the people in your past. So I look at it from my perspective. Instead of going into our past and digging up all the things that make us all those negative feelings, Let's look at the action plan of what we want to do and follow it backwards into the plan that got in the way. What gave you that idea that you make these choices? That seems to be the way that my therapy falls— journeys, leads, guides, I'm not even sure anymore. That's what seems to evolve in these sessions, and I'm finding that that works over and over again. So take these invitations and start looking at your life and figure out if you're ready for therapy in 2023. Figure out if you would like to try just talking for free with one of my new placement students, if you'd like to have some basic advice with my second-year placement students, if you'd like to do some interactions and be a little challenged but start to learn about All the modalities and words, the vocabulary of mental health. Take on my new graduates. And if you would like to go longer on that journey, make an appointment with me to start that plan, and we will see who else in my life can help you. I'm the plan maker, and there are other people who are going to support you through that plan. Thank you. It's a whole wonderful program to get you from the beginning thought process right to keeping the retention of all those plans and feeling a positive vibration. So these are some of the thoughts that I've discovered, reflected on, and, um, have discussed with many of my friends who would like to— who are on this positive positivity journey with me. So if you also would like to become part of this community and try some of these things, you know, go for it. Let me know how it is. I will be doing some lives on, um, on Instagram starting, uh, the week of December 1st, so stay tuned. Thanks for listening. And if you stayed to the end, I'm really proud that you were willing to put in that extra— I'm not sure, 10 minutes— to follow through what I think is a good solid process. And I'm even grateful and proud of myself for staying on track, I think, and getting this to a place that makes sense. Therapy works, but only if you're ready for it and ready to be vulnerable. Brené Brown, vulnerability is key. Thank you.
