Purpose-Driven Strategies For Executives; Sonya Shelton

Mindfulness mode.

He was really good at inspiring people.

Hey, mindful tribe, welcome to the show today. I'm looking forward to sharing with you today some very interesting strategies about how to make you a powerful leader. And the person who is actually going to share those strategies with me is a powerful leader in business, and her name is Sonya Shelton. Sonia, I am so excited to have you here. What does mindfulness mean to you?

Sonia, first of all, thank you so much for having me on podcast today. Mindfulness means, to me, really being present and aware of the situation and not trying to change it in any way. Right. But just accepting the present moment and really being present.

Excellent. Well, when it comes to being present, you've really done this as an executive, and I know that you've written a very powerful book about this topic. Can you tell us a little bit about the book that you wrote?

Yeah. So a number of years ago, prior to starting my current company, Executive Leadership Consulting, I worked for the Walt Disney Company and internal communications. And I realized as a leader there, we were going through very challenging times as a company. We had a shareholder revolt. And, you know, and I saw the impact on me as a leader and my environment and the culture and really developed a lot of empathy for leaders. And so I wrote the book. You're an executive, but are you a leader? Based on my own experience as a leader and kind of seeing how the culture impacted me, as well as what I saw clients starting to struggle with. And so it's really about not leaning on your title. Right. So if you're a manager, an executive, you have this. This title of authority, and you can tell people what to do and sort of be directive by using your title. Like, because I have this title, you have to follow me. Right. As a leader. And with that, you only get compliance. But when you step into true leadership and you develop a strong purpose and vision and you pull people towards you that they want to follow you, they can actually come up with ideas that you never even thought were possible. You know, they're so engaged and they're so passionate about what you're doing. They're bringing their energy to it and their presence to it and their purpose to it in a way that can grow the business exponentially that you didn't even realize was possible.

Right. Tell us about Red Thread Leadership. And I know there's a website we can go to, redthreadleadership.com Tell us about this.

Yeah, so in the past few years, so I think it started pre2020. So pre pandemic shutdown and things like that, I started to see a shift in a couple of things. Number one, burnout. I started to see increases in burnout even before the pandemic that was starting to surface and increase. And also looking at the younger generations, you know, Gen Z millennials really being more focused on purpose, and not just purpose in how they're choosing where they work and how engaged they are at work, but also choosing what they buy and what companies they buy from. So I saw this big connection to purpose and did some research on companies that were purpose driven. And when I say purpose, I don't necessarily mean, like sustainability. It can mean that or things that are good for the world. But, you know, like, they can mean that. But every company and every person has a purpose. Why are you here? How do you deliver on that? Why? And what can others expect from you? Right? So we created Red Thread Leadership with that purpose as a foundation. And it has five Ps. So starting with purpose, you take that purpose, why you do what you do, how you deliver it, what others can expect. And then you say, okay, so what's our plan? How do we execute on this purpose? What's our vision? What's our strategy to get to our vision? And what are our goals? And then the third P is process. So now that we understand our purpose and our plan, let's look at our processes and do we have the right processes to deliver on our purpose and plan? Are there some things that we could do more efficiently? Are there some things we don't need to do at all anymore because of where we're going? And really taking a mindful look at purpose, at process to say, what do we really need to be doing? And then the fourth P is positions. So that's, who do you hire? How do you promote people? How are you structured? What's your organization design look like? And is that in alignment with your purpose and plan? And then the fifth P is passion. So are your people passionate about what they do, passionate about their role? Are they passionate about what the company does, you know, connecting to that purpose? And do they trust each other? And that's sort of how we look at culture. So we take that purpose and we say, that's the red thread, and we run that purpose through everything that you do as a company to align both your business strategy and your culture to deliver better results and a fulfilling place to work.

Wow. That's a really powerful way to communicate what you're doing and what you're hoping that the executives will pick up from this. Now, I want to ask you, with an executive that you've worked with, has there been a really surprising strategy that they've come up with that you kind of almost did a double take?

Yeah, I think, you know, sometimes I have a client that I've worked with for a long time, and her theme for her team was relentless transformation. Right. Which can sound like. If you hear that, it's like, oh, that sounds stressful. But the way that she approached it was really looking at how can we continue to grow and get better and improve and really have an impact. And so her why is about having an impact. So she really wanted her team to always be relentlessly looking at how to have more of an impact. And so at first, when I heard relentless transformation, I was like, I don't know about that.

Sounds kind of heavy, doesn't it?

Exactly. But the way that the who she is and how she brought her why into it actually generated a lot of enthusiasm and inspiration around it. So, yeah, that was surprising to me.

What are some strategies that are closely tied to mindfulness that you've heard?

You know, mindfulness has been part of my life for, gosh, going on 30 years now. Tell a little bit about my age. But the, the. I think it's all woven into how I show up as a leader, how I show up as a coaching consultant and really being present with people. And I, you know, there was somebody that worked for me when I worked for Disney. When I left, the person that took my position, you know, didn't practice mindfulness. And one of the people that was on my team was like, wow, you know, I didn't really realize the impact that your presence had on me as a leader. And he said, you know, I meet with my new boss and he's, you know, looking at a monitor and typing while he's talking to me. And, like, I'm like, are you there? Are you listening? And he's like, he's. I didn't really realize, like, when you're talking to me, you're just with me, right? And he said, and how that made me feel. And he said, I didn't know until I didn't have it, the difference that it made, right? So. So I think that for leaders, really just being with people when you're with them. I know you have a lot going on when you're a leader, but just taking those things one thing at a time, right? Even what you're working on, right? Just being with what you're working on 100%, not trying to multitask there's all kinds of research about how, you know, that's not really productive, even though we think it is. And just really being with what you're doing and with who you're talking to can really improve performance. And for me, it just improves how I feel about it too. Right. Like, I enjoy being with people. I have. I feel like there's a bigger connection there and there's more fulfillment in it.

Your. Your book has really made quite an impact. You're an executive, but are you a leader? What was some of the feedback you received from your book that maybe you were surprised by?

Yeah, I think I had one reader reach out to me and say, so the way that it's designed is I looked at what would I want as an executive. Right. What, I don't have time to sit down and read a 400 page book. Right. When I. A lot of what I do is, is audiobooks and things like that. And, and so I, so I said, you know, if they're really busy and they're struggling as a leader, giving them a bunch of homework to do is probably not the answer. Right. Right. So I, so I designed the book with 50 different tips, and each tip is one page. And then with that tip comes a one page case study of a combination of clients that had that situation. So protecting identities. Right. But an example of how to put that tip into action or how it's been put into action. And then the third page is, what are the coaching questions that I would ask you? And so I had one reader reach out to me and said that she went through. She used it like a workbook and she went through every single tip and she journaled on every single coaching question. And it made her realize that she was in the wrong job and at the wrong company, and she moved on to. And so she started looking for another job, got a higher level position in another company with a company that she really liked and felt aligned with. And I never worked with her. Right.

Is that amazing?

Yeah. So that. So, yeah. So that was really incredible.

Wow. That is incredible. Yeah. Sonia, I always ask a question about bullying on the show, and I want to ask you if you have a story that you can share with us where mindfulness would have made a difference.

I'll actually share a story where mindfulness did make a difference. And I think that one of the things that people think about when they think about bullying, they think about kids and school, and, and that is important. And I think that needs to be part of the conversation. But what I don't hear talked about a lot is bullying in the workplace and it exists and it's not okay. Right. And, and I experienced it myself at Disney where you, you know, happiest place on earth. You wouldn't expect to see bullies there, but I did experience one. And she, she was another executive at the same level as me and we were having a conversation about a project and she didn't like some of the things that I was doing or decisions that I was making. And she just started screaming at me.

Wow.

And I was, and I was in her office and you know, of course, of course, you know, like, like I just tuned in and connected, like, how am I feeling? What's this really about? And, and I could have, you know, maybe if I hadn't done that, my reaction would be to scream back. But I just sat there and I just sort of tuned into myself and I just very calmly said, I think we should end the meeting and let's talk about this when you can be more calm. Right. And I just stood up and she continued to yell at me. She, I walked down to my office, she was yelling at me down the hall and I just kept walking and I was like, I'm, I don't have to participate in this. Right. So even though she's coming at me, I don't have to sit here and take it. I don't have to fight back, but I don't have to take it. Right. And I can just exit the situation and keep my calm through it. And she never came back to me to talk to me about it, but I've always remembered that situation and it didn't happen to me often, but I know that it does happen and I do. And I think it is important that we talk about it. That there are bullies in the workplace and that's not okay. Right. But using mindfulness techniques, we don't have to take that on either as feeling beat up by it or engaging in it.

Sure. Yeah. Well, that's a very powerful story. I know that there's a lot going on in the world now. There's a lot going on in Florida and with Disney. And if you still worked with, what would a purpose driven strategy be that you would suggest at this time in history?

Yeah, I think when I look at Disney, I feel a little bit like they've lost some of their purpose. You know, I think when, when I worked there, it was really about bringing all kinds of entertainment into people's lives. Like, like joy and thought provoking entertainment. You know, sports, they have espn Right. Like, like there, there was this feeling of really helping people's lives. And I think that over time they've, they've become more, more like other companies, I would say, in a way, like, like a little bit lost their identity of what made Disney Disney. And so I would say, you know, if I were consulting with them today, I would say get back to that. Right. Maybe it doesn't have to be Walt's vision, but what's the new vision for today that would really engage employees and help them feel like they're connected to that bigger purpose?

What kind of a suggestion do you think Walt would give if he were around today to give a suggestion for Disney?

He would say, get back to the magic. Right. So, you know, Walt Disney, especially having worked for the company and I worked in communications, so I really had to understand him. And I use him as a role model for myself, for my clients. I use examples of things that he said and done. And he was really good at inspiring people and getting people aligned with a vision and, and, and really connecting with his audience. Right. Like, what do they need? What do they want? You know, even looking at, you know, how he came up with the idea of Disneyland came from, you know, his going to a carousel with his daughters and having to sit on the bench as they rode the carousel. And it's like, you know, there should be a place where we could hang out together. Like, I'm over, like I'm supposed to be spending time with them and they're over there and I'm over here. Right. And almost in a mindfulness way was like, why can't we do something together and how could I build something where we could, you know, where families could be together?

Yeah. That's really interesting that you share that story about Walt. Yeah, yeah. So as we move forward in the interview, I want to ask you five quick answer questions. So just 30 second answers are perfect. Sonia, the first one is this, who is one person who has been a powerful person, mindfulness influence for you.

Yeah. So I, I practice Zen Buddhism and the Zen teacher that really I can, even though he's no longer with us, still really connects with me is Zen Master Seung San. And just because his. He only. He didn't have a very strong English vocabulary. So he just made things really simple and direct in his teachings and teachings that were really practical. And you can live your life day to day by.

Right. Good, I'll check that out. I want to ask you about emotions and how mindfulness has affected your emotions and how you deal with Them?

Yeah, I think partially it's not reacting to things like talked about in the bully story, like recognizing when I don't need to react. Right. That. That I can come from a different place, I can respond instead of react. And then when it's a big emotion, I think I've. I've lost a lot of people in my family, so just. So going through the grief of really not trying to make it different and just be with the waves as they come and fully feel it. And what I've noticed is that as I fully feel the emotion, it dissipates faster than if I try to put it aside. And so I think sometimes we think mindfulness means that first part with not reacting and only responding. But there's also this point of really when the emotion is deep, really being with it and letting it move through you so that you don't hold on to it.

Let's talk about breathing. Sonia, do you have any strategies, thoughts, ideas about breathing as it relates to mindfulness?

Yeah, I think it's one of the core parts of mindfulness. Right. And it's something we always have access to. So, you know, I think because I'm a meditator. Right. But that, that you can't always just, okay, I'm going to stop and meditate. But you can, you can always bring your breath in. Right. In a, In a, A, a situation where maybe you feel overwhelmed or, or you're starting to feel stress or fear is coming up and just connecting with the breath and taking deep breaths, even if it's just, you know, four or five breaths, can completely change your state.

Right, right. Your book we've talked about. You're an executive, but are you a leader? Are there any other books that you would recommend that are related to mindfulness?

You know, I go back to what I would call the standard, wherever you go, there you are by Jon Kabat Zinn, that I studied mindfulness. I was a mindfulness teacher in his tradition as well, and I always go back to that book, and whenever somebody asks me about mindfulness, it's always the one I recommend.

Right, That's a great book, for sure. And finally, apps. Are there any apps at all that you recommend that can help you live a more mindful life?

I actually don't use any apps for mindfulness and meditation because I, I guess my philosophy is not relying on anything external, but all, all of our resources are internal. And, and so I've, I've, you know, even there weren't apps when I started practicing, so I've Never gone to that. But I, but I think as I've, as people have recommended things, I've thought, well, I don't really want to rely on something outside of myself. I think all of our resources are inside.

Yeah, that's smart. Yeah. Yeah. Well, as we wrap up the interview, Sonia, do you have any final words of advice that you could share with our Mindful Tribe listeners?

Yeah, absolutely. I think I would maybe say two things. And one is really make sure that as a leader, you're connecting to your why and the why of your team, your family. If you leave your house, lead your home or your friends, wherever you're a leader, always remember to connect to your why and their why and the why of what you're doing. And then I think the second thing is around being present. I heard this great story the other day about it was Benjamin Hardy who just came out with a book and he was talking about the importance of being present and he has a three year old daughter and he was coming home from work and daughter wanted to play and he was like, oh, well, you know, I have all these things on my mind, I don't really want to play. And then he just had this, you know, he just sort of had this mindfulness moment of 20 years from now. Am I going to wish I took this time with her?

Right.

And I just love that story because I think it, it's a good example of the importance of being present and not missing our lives as they're happening. With all of the work things, you know, especially in leader, with leadership, you know, all of the work things that could be pressing on you or thinking about it, you know, in 20 years, will that really matter? Will what you're doing right now actually matter more?

Yeah. That's a great thought to leave the episode with and I want to thank you one more time, Sonia, for being on the show. It's been really great talking with you.

I loved our conversation. It was a lot of fun. Thank you.

Me too. All the best you. Bye now.

Bye.

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