#125: The Truth About Relationship Counseling: What You Need to Know Before You Go

That's why I cry five minutes in is because I remember. It's like right on the surface of what it felt like to feel like I was broken, that there was something wrong with me. And that's why I failed at love again and again and again and again.

Hey, thanks for coming. Welcome to the Love Shack.

Welcome to the Love Shack. It's a little old place where we get to get together, explore fresh perspectives and ease drop on juicy conversations to discover the things that really matter most while having a little bit of fun along the way. This is episode number 125, receiving the help and support we need when trying to save our relationships. I'm Stacy Bartley. I am the host of the show along with my co host Tom and our beautiful, wonderful daughter in the background, Brooke Brown. I'm sure you'll hear her voice or see her face at some point in time. Welcome here. It's great to have you with us inside of the Love shack. And I wanted to start this conversation today by just stating a wish that I have on my heart. And the wish that I have on my heart is I wish there was a different name for the experiences that impact us throughout our lives other than trauma. That word, trauma causes us to dun, dun, dun. You are so screwed. Your life is never going to be okay. It causes us to think that our childhood too must have been gruesome. If I say I have trauma or I come from a trauma background, it's like, oh my gosh, you poor soul. What I'd like you to think instead is that our fears and insecurities around what made an event traumatic in in our lives could indeed come from really good parents and a really good upbringing and a really great experience like things could be really, really good. And yet, as a human being, I'm still going to come away with some emotional impact for my life. It makes me think, for example, I had a wonderful family and two incredible parents and four older siblings. And when my dad became sick with cancer, I was sent to my aunt and uncle's house whom I also loved and cared for very much. I love to be at their house. I made up a whole belief about being sent away at the age because I was the only one out of five that was. I made up a conclusion that I wasn't wanted, that I was too much to handle, I was too much to deal with. And truth was, it was simply because I was the youngest and didn't attend school day in and day out. And it took me some years to kind of unwind that belief. And so the truth is my parents didn't want to worry about my needs being taken care of. And so they thought sending me to a place that I love to be and with people that loved me, my cousins were, would be good for me and very helpful to them. I want you to see each and every one of us has had and will continue to have events that have shaped who we are from the homes that we grow up in, the lives that we live. It's a universal principle of being a human being. And we could call that trauma. I personally think we should call it experiences of emotional impact. I think that this would serve us much better so that when we do need to raise our hand and seek help and guidance and the professional advice of others, that it wouldn't be because we felt we were broken or that something was wrong with us or we didn't have to feel ashamed for where we come from, our families of origin or any of the experiences that we have had as a human being. I think this would help us to really also understand that when looking for answers, it's so much more a part about discovering yourself and understanding what's going on wrapped with some emotional regulation and learning how to say what it is you need to say in a way that it can be heard and that these are the things that eventually lead us to the self awareness that we need that will not only help us show up as the incredible human beings that we are, but it will also help us be able to share more of ourselves with our partners, which ultimately leads to you being able to co create better relationships for your lifetime. Throughout our interactions on social media and Tom's clarity calls, we as a team have uncovered seven very common challenges that come up for us when we're seeking help and support. That's necessary to support us in experiencing or uncovering those experiences that we all have at some point in time in our lives. And so we thought today that we would have this conversation right here inside of the love shack in an effort to support you, our listener, with the answers that you need so that you can set yourself up for success and eliminate any shame or guilt that you might feel or experience as a result of having to do so. There is nothing wrong with you. You are whole and beautiful and amazing and probably come from places that have had a tr. Tremendous emotional impact on you. I hope that you understand by my share that that's totally normal and it's totally human for us to have such an experience. Most of us do.

Let's just be honest Every single person on this planet has a form of trauma. Every single person on this planet has an experience that has emotionally shaped them, that transforms into their relationship problems. And if we, like you said, could just see that for what it is, which is an experience that every single person has, it's not a flaw, it's.

Just who we are.

It would make getting help and support for your relationships such an easier thing to do. It would make it, because there's no shame in it. That's the thing, everybody. No one comes out of the womb knowing how to do this. Except we all think we do. We don't. So when we need to get help, it's just like needing to go to the doctor. It's not because you did something wrong. It's because you don't know the skills that are required to have a healthy relationship.

Absolutely. And, and because these emotional experiences impact us as a human being. I show up as good as I feel. And so if there's some unresolved impact that I don't yet understand, going back to my example in relationships, I mean, I can be big and bold and have a big presence and I don't enter a room without being noticed. At 6 foot and 180 pounds, I've always felt like that was too much. Right. Because of the experience that I had of being sent away. And it took me some time to unravel that and to go, no, it's okay for me to be big and bold and have a voice and those kinds of things. Imagine me showing up in a relationship in my prior life, trying to act small and meek and please and thinking that's what I needed to do in order to get the love that I need. And these are the very seemingly simple things that really sometimes create long term results in our lives. And I guess that's why I get so passionate about it, is because it's nothing. There's nothing wrong with you. There are some things that probably need to be reframed and reinterpreted and looked at and maybe sometimes accepted and forgiven because those are the things that are impacting how you show up in your relationship, which ultimately causes us to feel defensive and shut down and feels like, you know, we got to be less than or I can't have a voice or you're not going to love me anymore much like myself. And that just simply isn't true. And I don't know how much more impassioned I can become in helping you understand how normal trauma is in everybody's life. Like it's As I said, it's universal.

And I would just stack on everything that Brooke and Stacy has shared that if we really look at objectively this challenge that you may be experiencing right now and things aren't going like you want them to in your closest relationship or relationships plural, you have to understand, at least it's our view that's the root chakra of all of life. So when you get this one working better, it's going to manifest into every other area of your life. And so there will be tremendous in our world, in the online world, most things are pointed to financial reward. There will be financial reward because let's just be honest. Do you think you're distracted five or ten minutes of every day? I would, I would assert, I bet you're five or ten minutes distracted of every hour if things aren't going well. So what might you become more efficient and proficient and be better in tune in your work, your business and things? So if you just want to use a financial calculation, because that's, let's just be honest, this is really the root of all of life. It really is.

And I'm just going to say this, I say it often, but let me say it again because I feel like it warrants being said. Remember, relationships are really great at putting our personal growth on steroids, like our self awareness. Because you care about another human being or group of humans in a family, it's going to have all of your fears and insecurities come up and flash. And instead of viewing it as something that's wrong with you, I encourage you to embrace it and view it as the opportunity that it is for you to explore and understand greater needs that you have and greater ways of expressing yourself and literally learning more about what makes you tick because of what you've done, been through and to embrace those things because they are part of who you are, whether you like it or not. And I'm hoping that through efforts of getting help and support that you can learn to fall in love with. Yes. All your beauty and all your struggles and all your quirks because we all have them as a human being. And that your story can be a beautiful story. And I know as I look back and share my experiences of which I never thought I would share with any single soul person, let alone with the world, I marvel at how people will say thank you so much for sharing your, your story. I share many of my stories on my book that I've just written and that was a brave, bold thing. But you know, the joy of doing that is that it has helped and supported so many people along the way to see, oh, I've done that too or oh, I relate or geez, maybe my story is a beautiful story to be embraced and I want you to know absolutely it is. Absolutely it is. And when you do that, you'll be able to show up better in your relationships. So much of the work of getting help and support in your relationship relationship is really the recovery and rediscovery of an amazing person who lives inside of yourself. And seeing that beautiful, amazing person inside of your partner, the one that you chose to co create life with, like there's something there to be learned and uncovered on both sides of the street. And those are the things that will continue to grow and will continue to be explored even in long term relationships. And oftentimes that's what makes them so damn difficult is because we're never a set it and forget it as a human being, that we're constantly learning and having emotionally impactful events right as we live day to day, moment by moment. And it's knowing how to work with those and integrate those into who you are so that you can continue to show up in a way that supports yourself and your relationships and the things that you desire and deserve to have. And that's what this work is really all about. At the under, at the underside of it.

I also just want to remind everybody listening that the three of us on the show have been in the place where it was hard to get up in the mornings because our relationships sucked so much. So sometimes we only talk about the good stuff or we talk to you like this is what you're going through and. But I just want to remind everyone listening or you listening, that we have been there too and we have waited too long to get help. The average couple waits six years to get the help that they need. And I would say we all have done that. I waited more than that and I know my dad did too, and I think mom too did as well. So we know what it feels like to be in that place where you're like asking yourself, is this really as good as life can get? And the answer is no, it's not. And you know it inside of you. But it's hard sometimes to say, okay, if this isn't as good as life can get, then I know I need to get help. Because you know that's, that's going to cause you to be questioning your relationship. And I think that's always the main thing that stops us from getting the help that we deserve. To get because we don't want to be standing on that cliff and making that choice that we know is going to be the hardest choice we ever make in our lives. But I would just encourage you to stop waiting. So listen to this episode. Knowing that all three of us know exactly where you are right now and how painful that is and just listen to the words that we're saying and maybe let them open up your heart a little bit to the idea of finally getting the help you deserve because it's going to change your life.

And I would just add, and I say this often on our calls, is everything that. That we've created here inside our Better Love Club. And is Stacy and I talk about this often is what we wish we had access to because as Brooke described. Absolutely. Please don't think at all that we have arrived. It is just through a lot of keeping on to keep on. And yes, we have all experienced tremendous. Just as if you're listening and that's what's for you. Just. Yeah. Rest assured. And that's the motivator and the drive and why Stacy gets so impassioned and emotional because most of us don't have a place to turn to. We really don't. And that saddens us as a family. It does. And we know what it takes to raise your hand and we're going to do everything we can to potentially open you to a different way of looking at this and everything that we're going to come across as Stacy, share from our own experience. And then all three of us, Stacy working with our members and clients. Brooke answering all our questions and such on most social media, me on clarity calls. So we're receiving live intel every week as well. So this is in theory, it's based on our own lives as well as what we have the privilege and honor to do every week as well. So please, yeah, open yourself up and just allow yourself to marinate in it. And we're going to give you an offer that's really. There's no risk offer at all.

While. And here's the thing, that's why I cry five minutes in is because I remember it's like right on the surface of what it felt like to feel like I was broken, that there was something wrong with me. And that's why I failed at love again and again and again and again. And yet it's such a core of who I am. Right. So, see, I can't go very far and talk about that very long without going. That's such a lie. It's such a bullshit lie that we all buy into. And I just, from the bottom of my heart want you to know that's not true for you either. Even though the fears in your mind and in your heart are saying, oh, yeah, but you don't know what I've done. Yeah, but let me tell you, there's no saints in the world, I promise you. Nobody gets a hall pass. I promise you. And everybody has something that they're wrestling with that they feel like they have to keep in secret. That is the universal peace. And so it really doesn't matter what you've done. What matters is what you're going to do around what you've done. And there's times that you know, and I would say it's time to come out of the closet and face it and realize that there's so much more to you than this thing you've done and get beyond it. That's your opportunity.

So what are the. Some of the biggest frustrations that people experience that we see here? Know when they're looking to find someone to help them?

I thought I'd lay them out in how. In the order where I see them showing up. Okay. And I think the first one that pops up immediately, especially when we're in relationships, is the resistance from our partners. One partner is very resistant in attending therapy or working on their relationship. And this can make one feel like they're trying and they're the only ones working on the relationship. And I want this more than you. And I just, first of all want you to know that's also bullshit. That is not true. That this effort to turn and look within is a very courageous journey. In fact, it's the most courageous journey we will ever embark on. Everything we just talked about in the front of the show, and that's why I opened it up that way, is it's literally when I say I'm going to work on my relationship, we all know or have an instinct inside of us that what you're really saying is I'm gonna have to look at my own stuff. I'm gonna have to look inside of myself and understand why I'm showing up the way that I do and explore, you know, why it is. I don't feel like I can speak up, ask for what I want, shut down, rip your face off, punch a hole in the wall like I'm going to at those things. And that's a very courageous decision that we make inside of ourselves. That literally has nothing to do with how much I love you, how much I want this relationship to work or where I see ourselves going in the future. It's the wrestle from within me. And my resistance is I just don't know that I'm in a place where I want to face off with that right now. Tell the truth, do the exploration. Because we all know if we're going to just come in and lie and go through the motions, I mean, that's, that's like, don't bother. Why waste your time? We all kind of know that intuitively inside of ourselves that we can't fake it forever. So if we're gonna go right, then I'm gonna have to come clean. And that's a terrifying thought for many of us.

Well, and I would say this is one of the big things that as a family, we, when we put together the Better Love club is like, how the heck can we serve both sides of this very difficult situation? Because typically when this happens, guess what? No one ends up getting any help. The relationship doesn't get any help. More frustration, more resentment, more leverage, more manipulation happens. And that's certain path to degradation to decline. So this is a place where we're very passionate about. Look, and this happens often, I say on our calls, very rarely. I can think in all our 10 years, it's not that often, percentagely, where both people, if they are coupled in a marriage, in a special relationship, long term, they both raise their hands at the same time and start with us. That almost never happens. So number one, it's normal. So why don't we serve people in this normal situation?

If couples do show up together, there's always one that's spearheading the conversation and one that's like, fine, okay, I'll do it.

My ex husband asked me so many times if we could talk with someone to get help, and every single time I said no. And it was, and we never did. We got a divorce, which was the right thing to do. It wouldn't have saved our marriage. But I said no, because number one, I was scared. And number two, I absolutely did not want to admit that we needed help. I wanted to keep living in the lie that we were fine, even though we obviously were not. And we were struggling every single day and we were at our worst. But I was more comfortable living in the lie of pretending that we were fine and dying inside than I was facing the music and saying, yes, I agree, we need help. And I know a lot of people are in that spot.

And isn't that interesting? That also was when you were working with us.

Yes, I was working for my parents, who are relationship coaches and experts, and I still was more comfortable lying to myself and to them and everyone around me. No one knew how bad it was except for me and my ex husband. But even still, I did not want to do it. And I. It was. Even at the end when I knew that I was the one who had to admit it was over, it still was almost impossible for me to do that. So I want everyone to know I had the best support system that you could ever have. Like Tom and Stacy were my support system, and I still couldn't do it. So I know how hard it is to say, okay, you're right, we do need to get help, because I couldn't do it. So, no. Why that's so hard. But you're. It's costing you so much to keep living in that space.

Could have been. And I don't know that this is. I don't know we've ever asked you this question, Brookie. But I could also see where knowing that you have parents in the relationship space, that may have even made it even more difficult to admit that you were having problems.

I see. I see why that would be the case for some people. But for me, it wasn't a pride issue. I was fine admitting that my marriage sucked. It was more to me. I couldn't admit it internally that, yes, it was probably going to be over and it was probably. We probably were going to get a divorce. And yes, we absolutely did need help. But I couldn't admit that. I couldn't say, you're right to my partner.

The thing that I wanted to add to this was so many times we think that if I go ahead and raise my hand and get help and my person doesn't come along as the beginning of the end.

Oh, great point.

Or that even if both people say they need help, because that was my fear, that if I said yes to my ex husband that I needed help. It was the beginning of the end, actually. Was. But that's not the case for a huge percentage of our clients. That is not the case for they. They stay married and their relationship gets.

So much better living in the illusion that it's working when it's really not and everybody knows it. You can't solve any of the issues or talk about the issues or even discover how to move forward in a different way if we're not willing to kind of confront that reality. And sometimes more often than not, one person is ready to begin that journey and one person is not. I want you to know that is totally okay. And that there is a total honoring that can go on there in your relationship where one person can say, okay, I'm going to start the journey because I feel ready. And then whenever you feel ready, go ahead and join me. You're more than welcome anytime. And what this does that we often don't think about is that as one person steps in and starts the learning, guess who's going to start showing up differently and sharing different ideas and perspectives and thoughts and feelings with their partner. You know, the person who's actually engaged in and getting more and more uncovered about what's going on inside of themselves and what they're learning. And we all know how that feels as a human being to get excited about what you're learning and what you're sharing and how freeing that can be and think about bringing that home to your family. So that's a good thing. That's a beautiful thing. And very often, more times than not, that's the very thing that starts to inspire somebody else to be able to muster up the courage to go, okay, well, you went and started, and you have all your teeth and fingers and hair and you seem to be okay. And maybe I can too. It creates that conversation in your partner's mind. And not only that, gosh, you're sharing things that you're learning. I'm seeing you show up feeling better, doing better. Gosh, I want some of that for myself. And so I would say that's so much better than being afraid of one person just honoring their partner's truth of, I'm not ready to go there yet, but honoring themselves to say, and I am. And here's a really simple, easy way that we can step in and do that. That accommodates both of us where we are. That doesn't force one to be ready or one to stop. That isn't true for ourselves.

So here's the thing, and I would just also really strongly remind you, the listener is, as a family, we are so on board with this and so encouraging of this and realize, as I just shared, the majority of our members and clients, this is how they start with us. We take a very alternative viewpoint because this is how it usually goes. Meaning we're going to continually teach and mentor and coach people that work with us how to show up as the best version of themselves. You know, not use, not weaponize all their frustrations that their part special person is not continuing to invite. I always ask people on a call, think about the difference emotionally. When you're told you have to be Somewhere versus when you're invited. I mean, who isn't excited when we're invited somewhere? I always am. It doesn't happen that often. So if you can come from that place, we just know by our almost 10 years that's a very different place. When our members and clients start showing up this way in their home, like Stacy shared in their relationship, it does. Can we guarantee it? No, we can't. But does it happen often? Yes, it does.

Yeah. So stepping in right when you know you're ready is far less painful and more life giving than sitting there waiting, knowing that you need to do something as you're breaking down. That's very painful. And so the more we break down, the less opportunity we have of showing up better for ourselves and for our loved ones. That's why we're always saying, don't wait, don't wait. If you're ready, jump in. And the Better Love Club is a great place to accommodate where both people are.

And one last thing, Brooks encouragement here is realize the person, the, I would say, let's say the hesitant partner, the hesitant spouse, he or she can still come in, be a member of the Better Love Club and very just they can be a part of that and learn on their own and no one will even know they're there, so to speak. So they can be very incognito. Yes, incognito. And the other husband, wife, partner, if they're much more excited, they can choose to do again. So it's a very, can be a very individualized experience. However, each partner wants to do this.

And just a real quick thing for anyone who doesn't know what we're talking about, the Better Love Club is our new online community where you can save your relationship from the privacy of your own home. We have live group coaching calls, we have a ton of content. So when we're saying go, you're not going to a physical place, you're going to an online place and you're accessing the group calls from probably your home office or your bedroom and everyone signs a confidentiality agreement. So it's a very supportive place that we don't think anywhere else exists like it. So that's a quick overview of what the Better Love Club is because we're going to be mentioning it a lot in this show.

Juan, I loved what you said. You hear the word community and some of your hearts might start to pitter patter a little faster. And I just want you to know you don't have to be a part of that or participate in that whatsoever. But you can still gain a tremendous value in the information and insight that you need to do some of the things that we've already touched on in this space. So as Tom had mentioned, it's a very individualized experience where you absolutely can customize it to where you are. And let's face it, as human beings, we get a little more brave and we get a little more comfortable. We're willing to put ourselves out there a little more. And so I just want you to know there's a tremendous amount of expansion, but it can also meet you where you are today. And that's what we feel and that's why we've set it up the way we have is because that's how we grow and expand as human beings is little by little, and we must begin where we are. That's a great place to be. So number two in this frustration, so we've covered, I think, pretty thoroughly distant partner. That's a very common one, probably the most painful one, the most frustrating one of the list. And nonetheless, I hope that your takeaways here is don't wait and that if you're ready to go, please step in. And if you're, you're not, that's okay. Realize that we all have to kind of make our way to this space in and of our own time frame. And it's better for us to cheer each other on and support each other in these very different, sometimes mind boggling spaces. Because as human beings, we're not in the same places at the same time when there has to be an honoring of that. But the second one can sometimes impact the first and sometimes resistance comes from our difficulties with communication. We don't know how to bring up the conversation that we're having problems in the first place or that I'm getting to a place where I'm burning out, I'm thinking about ending this. That can be a very difficult conversation to have as well, especially when the emotions are running high and continue to escalate and the fighting seems to be happening more frequently. This can often also lead to misunderstandings and even additional conflict in and around what it is we're currently navigating. So sometimes even being able to bring up and talk about getting help takes months or even years to accomplish that conversation. Because nobody wants to be the one who calls it, so to speak. We don't want to be the one to call it and ending it. And we don't want to be the one to say, hey, this isn't working for me. We need to get help. And if by chance you're in that space, I just want you to know somebody's got to do it. And it's going to happen one way or the other by somebody becoming brave enough to say, hey, this isn't working, we're going through some challenges, let's get some help. Or we can sit on it and let the continuation of the breaking down of your relationship happen inside of yourself and each other. And I promise you there will be what I call a default option that will go ahead and take care of you having to face and have this conversation eventually anyway. And I would suggest, of course, that the more proactive we are, the better things can go. And so that mustering up the courage to just eek out the words, you know what, I don't feel like we're doing well. What would you think about getting some help? That's a great question. To just put a toe in the water to see how your person responds. And hey, don't put off if their reaction is initially quite bold and thunderous or they cry. These are difficult things to talk about. And so let that kind of play out and then bring it back again to the conversation. Hey, I'm still feeling like, like we need some help and support. What do you think about the idea of me getting started and you coming along when you're ready? Those are great questions that we can ease into the conversation. Because to not have the conversation, this is where we have financial breakdown because of our coping, our shopping habits to just try and sustain the misery that we're in for as long as possible. We have addiction problems that typically flash here. We have fighting and escalation of emotions that can causes to do and say some things that on the backside create a lot of resentment and a lot of beat up and shame and self guilt. There's affairs, there's going to be a defeat fault option. And so that's why we're consistently saying find the courage. If you are the person who's really thinking about getting some help, we want to cheer you on and support you. And sometimes I have clients come to me and just they book a session with me just to help them through that conversation. I've helped many of our clients through bringing up the conversation inside of their own relationship about can we get help? Here's what I'm choosing to do, right. I hope that you'll come along with me and so I want you to know that's available to you as well if you need help. Even stepping into the conversation. No problem. We can facilitate that conversation for you as well, because this is often very much a stumbling block for us stepping in and getting the help and support that we need. So let's move on to the third one, fears of feeling judged and criticized by a chosen professional and the thought that it can create a tremendous amount of negativity not only within ourselves, but inside of our relationship. Because if you're going to feel judged and criticized and you leave the office and go home, who do you think is going to bear the weight of that? We're going to take it out probably on the person that I love the most or the family that I love the most because somebody has pushed some emotional buttons. And so this can be very daunting when I think about stepping in and sharing some of these difficulties with a stranger. Quite frankly, that's coming into my very private place of living, that is inside of myself and my partnership. And I want you to know that if you ever have a professional that causes you to feel judged or shamed or less than in any way, shape or form, do not walk, run to the door and get the hell out of there immediately. Because that is not what this experience should be, anything like that. Regardless of what you have done and what you have been through, there is a place of support and discovery that can happen and should happen in order to recover and heal from these very emotionally impactful events and places that have transpired. I want you to know that when we understand a person's story, we always understand their behavior and why they show up the way that they do. And that is often the goal of a professional or needs to be the goal of a professional. Learning how to support the person and what they've been through and understanding their story to such a degree that then you can support them in helping them go in a brand new direction. If that doesn't happen, then we do step in, into the judgment space, which in this conversation of getting professional help and support should not be part of the way forward. I don't believe in that at all. I never will. I absolutely never will.

Yeah, I, I remind people often on, on our calls is everything that we do as a family. Because many times when I start to call, I refer to we and I say, just let me just give you some quick context here, just so you know, I haven't lost, like why is this guy saying we? It's only him on the phone. So I quickly. They may not be aware, depending on how they found us. A lot of times it's Stacy. They only see Stacy. So I just quickly bring them. It's a family. But more importantly, everything we do, you know, and being as transparent and offering the call and it's really from my cell phone number. My point here is, is we do this because we're asking to be invited into the most sacred places of people's lives. And this is important, it's incredibly important. And we're going to do everything we can. So we'll take the. And what Stacy just shared, I hear this often. So if we're feeling like we're going to be judged and criticized, there's going to be a lot of hesitancy and rightfully so. Like, why the heck would I want to do that? So everything we're doing is to be as. As open and honest and transparent. And yes, we do make mistakes, but we're going to clean them up. But the mistakes is not by taking aside. We don't go there. So everything we do is going to give you a sense of ease and to step in and give it a try. If it's not a good fit, we're both going to know. But it needs to be a good fit fit for. For there to be progress.

Absolutely. Which brings us to the next one Difficulty finding the right professional. I am sad to say that there are people who do and will prey on the misfortune and cause you to feel that there's no other way but to pay a high ticket price for what it is you need and the help and support that you need. Don't fall for this. To help you avoid being taken advantage of, I encourage you to answer these four questions before you start exploring whether sessions or programs are the best option for you. And by the way, we offer both private sessions and programs because I feel like that's the best way to support people right where they are. And the first question I want to ask you is where do you feel stuck and lack the understanding you need regarding your relationship? Number two, what patterns do you notice that keep playing out around or which topics? Number three, where does breakdown keep occurring for you personally? For many of us, it's in our ability to speak up or our ability to emotionally regulate. I get very escalated and that's something that maybe we'll talk about at another time because we all have an emotional survival mode and so typically that's where breakdown happens inside of us personally. What are the skills you feel one or both of you are lacking and when you have a sense of what it is you need need as far as support and help in your own relationship you can then ask valuable questions and seek information that will help encourage you to know when it is you found the person that can help you best. I also want you to know that to find a professional, if somebody doesn't offer you an opportunity for you to put a toe in the water, that should be a red flag for you to be a no fly zone. Because here's what I know about this very sacred space of being invited into couples hearts and homes is that it has to be a good fit. As Tom already said, there has to be what, what's called in my world, a therapeutic alliance between trusting the person who's helping and guiding you and the person who is expert in what it is you need them to be expert in to give you the guidance and support and help that you need as well. As we on this side, as your team, as your support system, we want to be able to know that we can help and support you in the way that you need. Otherwise there's not an alliance there. And believe me, we will be exceptionally honest with you about whether we can help you with what it is you're wrestling with or not. There is no reason we want to walk with you and promise supporting you in ways that we know inside of our hearts are outside of our scope of, of work. So that is an opportunity to put a toe in the water and to explore what this relationship might be. You know, funny enough, I'm just sitting here thinking about this. It's kind of like dating where you've got to put a toe in the water. You've got to be able to have some conversations and ask the questions that you need. Those four are great places to get started so that you can see if there is a good fit for that therapeutic alliance that absolutely is critically important to being able to go in a brand new direction inside of yourselves and your relationship. So don't discount that. And if somebody is like strong arming you into making a decision about some kind of a program or telling you that there's nobody else that can help you, et cetera, all the many other manipulative ways that unfortunately even people in this profession do, then it's, it probably behooves you to step away. Because here's the thing, if it's as good as you say it is now, why can't I think about it? Why can't it be something that I really contemplate inside of myself before making a decision? And so over here, you're never going to feel pressured, you're going to feel encouraged. We're going to encourage you or recommend things. We're going to let you know that we feel you're a good fit or you're not a good fit. We're going to allow you to ask your questions and explore what it is you need to know inside of yourself to feel safe about any decision that you make make. And whatever decision you make, guess what we're going to do? We're going to 100% support it.

I would just say the place I know, and I'm sure I speak for all of us, is we know by the numbers that if people don't choose to do something, take a step somewhere with someone, with somebody where, if it feels right because we know percentagely speaking, if we continue to not do anything, nothing's going to happen. And many times we'll get into this seeking mode and we think if we seek just more information and we find that right piece of information, information that right book that right whatever, it's going to change and it won't. No different than if we just saw it and saw it and never took a maybe made to step into. Like if we had a physical pursuit, like we had to find the perfect gym and the perfect piece of weight equipment. None of that matters. What matters is consistency and some kind of a change. You have to step in and see if it's going to work. So I say the only thing is, as I know there's already the people that don't choose to step in and do something with us. If they find us and they do a clarity call is the majority of them, we never hear from them again. Again. So it's okay. I mean, I'm just saddened because most of those people that I talk to, I'm confident we can help them.

I don't know that it's so much more information. Yes, that does happen. But if you feel like there is a place where you can safely trust the person you're connecting to and that they're telling you they have what it is you need, then step in and explore it.

And I would say certainly at the price point we're talking about, you know, regards specifically with the Better Love Club. And guess what? Even if, let's say you stepped in and you didn't like it, guess what, we're going to refund your. It's okay, you know what? So again, everything we can to remove that fear and we're going to do it at a price point that's going to not be significant if in fact it doesn't go well, it's because there'll be nothing lost because it will refund your investment anyway. But let's say you were being pressured into a really significant four figures, five figures. There's all types of stuff out there. We all know that. Then. Yeah. Yeah. Pressure doesn't take us anywhere. The name of the call, I remind people, is a clarity call, because when we get clear, that typically will allow us to make a decision. When we're not clear, it's very difficult to make any kind of a decision.

Yeah, and I. I do love that you brought that up, because we can think that more information is the answer, and it's more about finding a place where you feel safe and supported and somewhat comfortable to do what it is you need to do, which is ultimately change your behavior, which is rough work. And so finding somebody in a place that you feel safe enough to do that is really kind of the name of the game.

Yeah, I'm a pro at this. I'm a pro at stalling in the name of research. And I've been trying to lose weight for probably like 10, 12 years. And I could write a book about all the things that a person would need to do to lose weight, which a lot of people who come to us could probably write a book about all the things they need to do to save their relationship. But the truth is that that mom, too, that's what I call Stacy, likes to remind us that head knowledge is not a cure for anything. All you're doing is getting smarter, but it's not causing you to get the result you want, which is, for me, lose weight or for you, save your relationship. Because you're not putting any of those things that you're learning into action. And that's most of the time where we need the help, is having someone hold our hand and let us know exactly how to put those things into action. Because we can know a lot of things, but we can have no idea, or maybe a small idea how to actually do them and change our behavior. But when you're working in such a delicate area like this, like saving your relationship, there's going to be a ton of bumps along the way because you can try this new technique and your partner can have a bad reaction to it. And then you're like, okay, I guess this doesn't work. The same thing if you ate a piece of cheesecake and you're like, okay, I guess my diet's over and I'm gonna go back to the way it was before. We don't want that to happen to you. But that's what happens when you try to do this diy. You have all this knowledge, you try stuff out, it goes terribly and then you think you failed. So just trust me. I know the feeling of thinking that gaining more knowledge is actually getting you somewhere, but it's not. It's just making your search longer and making you wait longer to get the results that we know you deserve. That's the thing. You deserve to have a happier relationship. You deserve to not be in this pain anymore. That's why we're doing it.

I bet you know how disappointing it is when you get to the road or the end of the road of knowledge and all of a sudden it's starting to double back on you and you're starting to hear the same things over and over again. And you're. Then you're starting to hear, hear conflicting information about what you've just learned. And now you're more confused than ever as to where to begin and how to implement that into your life. And I just want you to know that the end run game really is all about changing behavior. Yeah. Because in order for us to go in a different direction as a human being, we must change our behavior. Otherwise nothing changes anyway. And it doesn't matter how much head knowledge you're carrying.

And to be fair, I think for most of us, that does take a skilled coach. I'm just thinking I have to show this morning in our CrossFit workout. Awesome group of people. And we have our awesome. Actually, we have both of our awesome coaches. But we did a two mile run and it was amazing to watch because you have to understand, Stacy's probably our youngest and we have world famous Annie, who's 93. So let's just be honest, there's a huge ability spasm there. Like, huge. And the owner was literally running the loop at different places, continually encouraging. We could do however we want to do it. We could walk it, we could half walk it, we could run it, whatever we want. But continually circling the entire time of the entire group, cheering us on, telling us we're doing great, never letting anyone feel like they're doing a bad job. I mean, come on.

Or calling us out on, come on, I know you can do better. Pick up the pace. Let's go.

To be fair, I was telling Stace this morning, like, gosh, you know, it's been almost two years since I had my right knee replaced. Almost one year since we've joined. I walked really fast because I really can't run anymore. But I mean, I walked I was some of our people, I was walking faster than them and said, who cares? However you get it done is you get it done. But my point is that I wouldn't have been able to do that. And it was really encouraging the few times. It's a great. There's two times in our class. So she calls me Chuck. Charles is my great job. Chuck, you're doing incredible. I mean, so, like, that's like, wow. Wow.

You know, I mean, you cut that off. Charles is your middle name.

No, Charles is my first name.

Oh, you're right.

Yes. You're just knowing that now. Honey, why didn't you tell me it's Charles Thompson?

But what you meant is that you couldn't have achieved that speed of walking or kept it up without someone cheering you on.

Well, yes, Brooke. And talk about changing behavior. The behavior would be, I wouldn't be doing that. I. I mean, Stacy and I walk, but we don't walk two miles as fast as we can. So Stacy is so impassioned about this. If we can, as a family, help you change your behavior, we're not doing our job. Like, the end goal in this body of work is to change your behavior. Fancy word for acting differently.

One of our favorite things to do on our coaching calls with our clients is to shine a mirror back at them and tell them verbally how much, much we've seen them change. And like, wow, you are showing up so differently in this way. Oh, my gosh. Compare this from your first call to now. This is exactly what we see in you. And so where else do you get experiences like that in your life?

You know, and there is the camaraderie to change that behavior as well. It takes practice to change our behavior, but it's good practice. Yeah. Just like Tom was saying about our experiences with CrossFit, day one is a little challenging. Your armpits get a little sweaty. You do a series 30 days in is a lot different than the day one. And that's true in this emotional journey as well, that there's a progression that happens as long as you show up consistently and are willing to practice what it is you're learning. And that's AKA implementing what you're learning into your life. Those are important things to keep in mind. I think we need to move on to the next one, which is the next barrier, which is usually financial constraints. The high cost of getting professional help can be a significant financial burden on families. Families. And we see younger families with young kids showing up more and more and more in our body. Of work. And we've been there. We know that gig. We have eight children between us and I have six of those eight. And I know what it's like to be a single mom too and have to stretch every dollar to make it count. And you're trying to take care of all your children and do the best you can and figure yourself out and build your career. And it's a lot. It's a. The years of divide and conquer are among us. And yes, we want to be compensated for what it is we do because we don't want to do anything else. We want this to be our life's work for sure. However, we're constantly trying to make it work for the person that needs the help and support, but maybe doesn't have insurance, needs to pay out of pocket for things. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, we don't take insurance parents. That's not part of what we do. However, we've been known to be exceptionally flexible and if there's a way that we can make it work financially for our families and our couples, we are very much open to doing so. That being said, this is why the price of the Better Love club is set at 97amonth.

That includes two people. If you are a couple of you both.

Yep. And that is our way of saying, look, we're doing everything we can to make it as affordable as possible to get help and support when you need it the most. And of course we do private sessions as well. And because those are time capped and very limited in regards to how many I can do in a day, those are $200 an hour. And we do have some discounts for our members inside of the Better Love Club that people can access when they need one on one sessions. All this to say that it has never been more affordable to get the help and support support that you need in your relationship right now, today. And in fact, if you were to break down, even if we were to round that 97 up to 100, let's say it's just for easy math because you know I'm a math whiz, right? I'm a 100 math whiz with these numbers. Yeah. If we divided that hundred dollars by 30 days, that would roughly be like close to $3 and 50 cents a day. Right. Okay, good. Pits were sweaty there for a minute. So for $3 and 50 cents a day or a cup of coffee a day, you can get help and support in saving your relationship, which is my point of bringing that up.

And I always remind people, you get, hey, you get three for one. You get, you get all three of us inside the Better Love Club. You know, it's a, it's a. The full family.

And also that 97amonth includes four live coaching calls a month, which, that's four ability to learn new things and ask your questions and get live help. And we talk to all of our members. That's unbeatable. We know that money is tight for people and we know that sometimes getting help for your relationship is cost prohibitive and you can't do it. It's not affordable for you. So this is our answer to that.

Absolutely. And I also want those people who might be listening to say, no, I would never jump into a community. I would never share this and my situation. I feel like I really need some intensive handling. Know that we have $5,000 programs as well, support you and mentor you through that process very personally, very high touch. So, you know, we have both ends of the spectrum. So if you're also thinking, okay, yeah, no, I don't want to be a part of that. I need some very specific personalized help. We get that and we acknowledge that as well. And I just want you to hear that we also have a solution and a VIP program and high touch program for that as well. So. So we're really trying to do our best to match you wherever you are. So those are some things to consider. Let's talk about the time constraints. We started this conversation of money by talking about the young family, which we absolutely are seeing more and more show up. And time is a big deal, like time to attend sessions, to be live or present on the Monday night calls to, to get in and to do your homework and to practice. Some of the things that we absolutely are going to, to give you are sometimes a struggle. But here's what I want you to know. Let's say you don't invest the time and you keep kicking that can down the road. Pretty soon you're not going to need to worry about it. I mean, I don't know how else to say it other than just to be honest with you that if we kick the time, I don't have time. Time is keeping me from jumping in and doing what I know I need to do. If we keep using that as the excuse to not address the issues that are absolutely coming up in your life. Remember what I said about those default options? Options. Pretty soon you're not going to need to worry about finding the time because a default option will absolutely insist that you Spend the time doing what it is you need to do. And again, I just don't want you to put yourself in that position if at all possible. Yeah.

And to be fair, I will sometimes remind people because I think it's really good news. Think about any other place you've had success in your life, whether that be on your job or your profession, maybe your business or maybe a hobby that you really like, or a physical pursuit or a dietary pursuit. Pursuit. My sense is it's because we have invested what I call. It's the currency of commitment, which is time, money and focus. Let's just be honest. I mean, and the thing about Better Love Club is if you can't make the Monday night call, which we do at 5:30pm here in California, PST, some of our members don't catch it live and then they catch the replay whenever it works for them. And if you have a question, you can always ask us ahead of time and we'll answer it as part of.

The recording of the Monday night.

Or if you can reach out to us anytime you like inside of our portal, you, anybody can ask us a private question. No one else can see what anyone else is asking. But it's very flexible because we know people are busy. But really at the end of the day, to be fair, I don't think any of us have had successes in our life, in any area of our life without investing at least some modicum of time.

And here's what I want to say about private sessions anyway. Like, private sessions are great to fine tune what needs to be implemented into your relationship. But the repetitive of learning cannot be accomplished in a private session. That can only be accomplished where you have access to go back to the material and review it again and again and again as well as you know what, we're big on changing behavior. So you know what that means? That means that we're going to ask.

You to practice and practice and practice.

And if I'm going to ask you to practice, here's what we know to be true. You're going to mess it up. Let's just be honest, the first few times that you do some of these things, you are totally going to make a mess of it because that's what humans do when they're learning something new.

And I would say you're going to probably far more greater percentage of chance you're going to practice if you know, you come to the group just like Stacy and I talk often. There's no way in heck. And I'm pretty disciplined these days. Ask Stacy and Brooke. I'm a pretty display. There was no way in heck I would do the exercises I do when I go to CrossFit Tuesday through Friday, if I only did them at home. No way. I just. It wouldn't. It's not in me. But when I know I have my. I commit, I go there and I've got my other comrades in the group with me and they inspire me to bring my best, then yes, I'm going to do it. It's just how it works. And that's why we are so passionate about small group. And before you resist, we say, just come in and give it a try and see. I bet it's going to be different than what you thought.

I just wanted to ask about the practice. This is also why we commit to being your lifeline. Because if I'm going to ask you to practice, then when it doesn't go so well and you don't know what else to do, we'd better be available to help walk you through that because we know it's going to happen. And so I'm. We're not here to just give you advice, have you watch a few videos and do some worksheets and then go, good luck. Hope you can figure it out. We literally walk alongside of you and say, okay, practice. And if you mess it up, we know you're practicing, right? Yay. We're going to cheer you on and just reach back out and we'll help you pick it up from there. It's literally like a person mentoring you, saying, okay, what happened? What did you do? How did this play out? Okay, next time try this. This is going to make a lot of difference here. It's the fine tuning of that ability to change your behavior and to feel like you have the support so that you can develop the confidence you need in order to accomplish what it is you say you want to do. So don't let time be your excuse because pretty soon it's not going to matter if you kick the can far enough down the road, it's going to be an irrelevant conversation. So don't let that be the. The excuse that you use to not jump in and get the help and support that you need.

Number seven.

And the last one, yeah, the last one that I want to talk about today is lack of progress. Nothing could be more frustrating and disappointing if you've gone through all of these other six steps, you've. Right, you've talked to your resistant partner about getting help and you finally convinced him to do so. And then You've had the difficult conversation that you need to have maybe several times and to get them enrolled. And you've gone through the laborious effort of finding somebody that can help you with this and you've paid the money and you've made the effort to show up and do the work and the sessions and the program and yet you're right in the middle of it. You feel like nothing is happening. Oh, I just want to grab my heart and go. Bless our hearts as a human being. Like making no progress when you feel like you've done all the other parts and pieces is so disappointing. And we can make up some terrible things about ourselves and we can make up some terrible things about our partners and we can make up some terrible things about our decisions without realizing. When you're stepping in and choosing a place to go, make sure you do a few things things. Make sure you vet out the testimonials, the people have actually accomplished what it is you say you want to do. Okay, that's very important and I want to underscore that. Also make sure that there's somewhat of an end run. And if you don't know within the first session or two about literally things that are going to help you move the need or knit the needle behavioral, then you're not in the best place. Because we can talk about these things until we're blue in the face. We can talk about our feelings and our emotions all day long. We can hash the past, go on and on about what happened and who thought what. But if you're not giving me real tactile skills to move the needle in regards to changing the experiences of a happy I'm having both within side of myself and my relationship, then you're going to probably find yourself in a place where you feel like you're not making any progress at all. I'm just now having the same old hashed out conversation that I can have sitting at home on my couch, you and me, by ourselves. So don't let that be your situation. A lack of progress is real and I don't want you to fall culprit to that. That there needs to feel like there's progress being made each and every time that you get together, have a conversation. There's insights, there's things to practice, there's things to do to move the needle in your life. And that's what you need to know in order to avoid feeling like there's a lack of progress. Anything I you think I missed?

No, I would just say that's the Reason why we go to CrossFit. I mean, come on. I remind people often, look, if you're willing to roll up your sleeves, I don't guarantee much because that's out of integrity. But what I do guarantee is we're going to roll up our sleeves right alongside of you and we're going to give you everything we got as a family.

As an example, last week or this week, on our call, we stayed on. I just edited the call to put in the portal. We stayed on for over three hours. So we budget an hour and a half for those calls. But people wanted to continue and we had a really great after session that we never could have predicted. But we'll stay and talk with you if you guys are willing to show up, too. That's what we mean by that. And also, so I wanted to add, a lot of people come to us because traditional counseling has not worked for them. That's one of their complaints. Why they say, oh my God, this is so much different than counseling. We went to couples counseling and it did nothing for our relationship. It just made it worse. We just fought in front of the counselor. So that's what Mom 2 is saying, is we are, we're different because we're committed to helping you move the needle and gain progress so that you don't need to set up sessions with us for years and years and years and years. That's not what we're trying to do here. We're trying to get you in, learn these tools so then you can implement them in your own lives.

I say this often, too. I know I've been repetitive there, but momentum is huge. So the first thing is by someone getting on and scheduling a call, in the grand scheme of things, it's still a very small percentage of the people that we're blessed to have that follow us on social media. We're whatever. So right there, you're demonstrating momentum or you're creating new momentum in your life. And please, for the love of God, continue that momentum. Because we discount and act like we have infinite emotional gas in our emotional gas tank. And we don't. And so what we don't. We all hear some version of when people choose not to stay together anymore. We hear some version of what I just can't do this anymore. And what that means is because I don't have any more gas in my emotional gas tank. And so what Brooke just shared, we do everything we can to have you experience a quick win where you feel like you get a pop, you get a deposit into your Emotional gas tank and think, oh my gosh, I can see now this is starting to make us some sense here. Like things. This is different. I'm feeling a little bit better and then a little bit better and then a little bit better. That's how it works. Because we are so passionate. That's why Stacy gets so emotional when you wait too long. A lot of those people don't make it it because we behave as if we have infinite emotional gas tank level. We don't. It's just like our automobile. I ask people, when your automobile is on as close to low or empty, what do we do? Is there any indecision what we need to do? No, no, no. We got to get some dang gas. And it's the same way for us emotionally. You need to refill that thing as quick as possible, at least a little bit. Otherwise it's probably not going to go well.

Right. Put the explanation point on that that couples fall apart not because they can't solve the problems at hand. It's because exactly what you just said, they run out of emotional gas to do. So I just flatlined. I don't have any more to give to it. And that's nine times out of ten why relationships end in the first place is we've just waited too long and we're just now not in a place where we have the emotional ability to navigate our way through it.

And when you can start. Start getting feeling the experience of a pop of a deposit in. Guess what? What Stacy says we start to. We show up as what as good as we feel, we start to feel better. So then we start to show up a little bit better. So you can see, I always tell people like, this is great news. This is not rocket science. It's a very predictable formula as. Because we've seen it enough times. But what saddens us, I guess back to like when people don't choose to do something, to act. What saddens us is unfortunately, I bet most of those people, and we know by the numbers that that they're going to continue to bleed out and bleed out and then they're going to run out of emotional gas. That the default option, like Stacy said, normally does happen and that doesn't have to happen.

Yeah. So I guess all of that to say don't wait. If you're curious about what we offer. It doesn't have to be us. We hope it's us. We hope that we can help you. And if we can't, we'll absolutely be honest with you about that if you want to take the next step, you can book a clarity call if you feel like you need something that's a little more safe. Safe. We have a consumer guide that you can download and absolutely preview in written form some of the things that we've talked about here on this podcast today. And so pick your place or go.

To the betterloveclub.com and join us. And guess what? Don't we have a special coming up, Brooke?

Yes, we do. If you join in the next 30 days, you get your first two weeks free.

So you can come in and join for two weeks. And if you don't like it, no harm, no foul. Yeah.

Outside of that, you can cancel any time. So you're not locked in a contract. You're not none of those things. You can join for a month. You can and say, okay, I'm done. It's risk free any way you look at it.

All of this to say, we want to be a place where you can put a toe in the water and make sure that we're a good fit and that there is that therapeutic alliance between us and that you do feel like you're making progress and you can and will tackle the time constraints and the money concerns and the frustration of no lack of progress. We want to set this up for you to be a win and that you don't have to wait until your partner's ready. That you absolutely knowing that you're ready to jump in, can do that and be supported. And that's going to often be what we call the catalyst to get your partner to go, wow, okay. I think I might want to put a toe in the water, too. And what we do will support you exactly where you are, and we'll help to continue to expand you in the direction you want to go. That's what we're committed to. So let's have a little bit of fun. I love this one. Imagine for a moment. I want you to put your imagination cap on, and I want you to imagine for a moment taking your special someone to a Chinese restaurant and you have a lovely meal over a conversation. And then your fortune cookies arrive on the table and you snap one open and it says something like, today you will be kissed by a handsome, tall, bald man. And I would go, wow, these fortune.

Cookies, they're blowing right now.

Like, I mean, geez, a handsome, tall, bald man. That sounds a lot like you. And then I go, okay, okay, that's just kind of a fluke. What does the next one say? And I might snap open the Next one. And it says, share with the person closest to you where you would like to be kissed right now. And I might go, okay, what's the deal? What's going on? Or I could snap one open. It says, you know what? You are the most beautiful, sexy thing I have ever seen. Or, you are so handsome and amazing, I can't. I can't wait to take you home. Here's what I want you to know. You too can have custom designed fortune cookies that you order right from the couch of your own house.

That's pretty cool.

And you can write whatever it is you want to have said in those fortune cookies. And yes, you could do it over Chinese dinner. Or you could just have them sitting out on the counter for your darling person.

Oh, that's a cool idea.

At any point in time. So the place that is closest to me that I found to be incredible at what they do is called custom fortune cookies.

Custom fortune.com.

And they only ship in the U.S. so if you're outside of the U.S. i would encourage you to do your own Google search of custom fortune cookies and see what's around you because they are super fun. You can put your little messages in there. You can say whatever you want to say. You can do them for birthdays, mother's days, father's days, any days. They're a really fun way to share a message that you want to convey to your special someone about your thoughts and feelings regarding them. As we wrap up, we have a song that we always attach to each and every episode.

Oldie but goodie, right here.

You want to tell them what it is?

Oh, I forgot. But I. I heard a little snippet of it. Oh, that's right. We talked.

The song dropped in 1977.

We're showing our age.

Kind of giving us away.

Yeah, exactly.

But I couldn't think of a better one. And it's by the Little River Band.

Brooke wouldn't even know this because she wasn't even on the planet yet.

Babe, do you know, do you remember the. The verse that is Hope is on the way.

I mean, yeah.

Help is on the way. I'll be there as fast as I can. Help is on the way.

Oh, boy. I'm not sure if this will make it into the show, but if it does. Whoa, Little Riverbend. I can remember listening to them way back when I was a youngster and had a lot of hair.

Hair? You had hair?

I did a lot.

You can check out this song on our Spotify playlist, Love Shack Live. Or you can go to our website where you will check out each and every song that we attach to each and every episode. That's 125 of them on a playlist now. Woohoo. All that to say thank you so much for being here inside of the Love Shack. We hope that today's conversation will help you make some choices about getting the help and support that you need in your life and in your relationship right now, today. And if by chance you have a conversation that you would like us to explore right here inside of the Love Shack, just know that we are dedicated to having the conversations that matter most to our listeners.

And any questions, any concerns, anything that didn't make sense, please reach out to us. We one of us will get back to you.

And if you're in a place where you want to take the next step, check out that Butter Love Club sales page@thebutterloveclub.com and don't hesitate to schedule a clarity call. That's a free, easy way that you can put a toe in the water and explore what might be possible over here for you with sessions and the better Love Club. So have a beautiful week. We look forward to being back here with you again next time. Bye bye for now.

Okay everybody, time to go. We gotta close the doors to the Love Shack for this week. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Come back next week though and join us for another edition of Love Shack Live with Tom and Stacey Bartley.