#203: Surviving Stressful Times as a Couple—What to Do When the World Feels Divided

Has this week felt more intense than usual. Many emotions are running high for many of us from recent events such as the US Elections. For some, it has brought relief and hope, and for others, a sense of deep concern and despair. These contrasting emotions very often live under the same roof. When the world outside feels divided, this tension can easily seep into our closest relationships, adding additional stress to even the simplest of interactions. Welcome to Love Shack Live, the podcast for anyone finding themselves at a relationship crossroads. If daily conflicts feel more like battlefields lately, or if you're noticing a widening emotional gap between you and your partner, you are in the right place. This is where we help you rebuild a connection that feels true and lasting. I'm Stacey Bartley, your relationship mentor, and I'm here with my husband and our daughter, Brooke, and together we've helped hundreds of couples reconnect and find clarity to bridge the gaps that life challenges often create for us. Today we're tackling a critical question. How can you remain steady when external stress threatens to pull you apart? Together, we'll uncover the subtle ways that outside stress affects our closest bonds and share practical tools for bridging divides when the world feels anything but steady. Stick with us. The insights that we share today could be just the thing you need to navigate these challenging times.

Hey, thank you for coming. Welcome to the Love Shack.

I'm going to start by acknowledging the contrasting emotions that many are feeling due to the recent events, emphasizing that some bring relief, while for others they bring despair. Here's the thing. These feelings, when brought into our home, can add strain to our closest connections, often without us even realizing it. And how can we protect and strengthen our bonds during these turbulent times? When I am at the bottom of the barrel, grasping for air, and my partner is gleefully dancing around the room? How do we find a place in a common space where we can unify ourselves, remembering that's probably the most important thing. And not get upset when the dishwasher doesn't get loaded correctly, the trash doesn't get taken out. So let's start our conversation today by understanding how outside stressors affect our relationships. Because it absolutely does. High stress events like this election that we've had here in the United States of America, they activate our fight and flight responses, making us more reactionary to the perceived threats or missteps from those closest to us. Things like dishes left in the sink or a sincere question ask can become a huge thing when we are stressed out and afraid of what tomorrow is going to bring. What are the best things that we can do right now? What are the best strategies for navigating this that won't bring us to a place, place of war? And, you know, the thing I guess I want to start with right here is understanding that what's going on in our world is a macrocosm of what's going on within us individually. The microcosm that happens within me, the conflict of how to navigate the uncertainty, the doubt, the fear of where are we going? The unknown reflects directly the macrocosm that is playing out in our world day in and day out. And we're all feeling very similar things and struggling with ways to navigate it within ourselves and within the worlds in which we live in. So I have curated really from my experience and from the things that I know, the best things that I can come up with to help you navigate this. And I'm going to start with step one, the most important thing. That's why it's step one, the most important thing we must do as individuals, regardless of what we're navigating in the world in this macrocosm reflection of microcosm, is to build trust in ourselves. Because here's the thing we need to understand that distrust causes division. Why? Because I am confused about where I stand and what's important to me. I can become lost in that. And in this place in space, it heightens my desire to fight or flight or flee. And in this place, it also squelches, squelches my desire and my ability to listen to outside perspectives. This is a disease in our homes and in our societies. And you know who to trust? Well, it's probably the people that you're being told to distrust. And here's the thing about trust. Trust building starts within ourselves. It includes building trust within our own thoughts and feelings and experiences as we build the ability to translate them into a language that we can first understand for ourselves. And all, simple as that sounds, very few of us possess the ability to do it. And unless we have the ability to trust our own thoughts, feelings and experiences, the things I see and the things that I feel within my gut that I'm likely to buy into others perspectives and choices, only to find myself yet again in a conflicted state of despair because I still don't know where I stand or what I believe and know to be true. And so then I try somebody else's perspective, and I try somebody else's perspective. And in the meantime, I'm unraveling myself. So I must learn step one to make the choices that support me in feeling congruent to the things that I desire and know to be true and then to be able to follow through on those things in action, indeed, these are the things that will help protect us from the crazy making that could be happening all around you right now. This also means being trustworthy. It's not just about you saying and doing things for others. It's more about you saying and doing.

Things for yourself and also not saying one thing and doing the other. That's the opposite of being trustworthy, you know? And I feel like that's happened a lot in this election cycle, just in a lot of different ways. But I just want to remind people that staying true to the things that you say is important. If you're trying to be trustworthy and saying one thing and then having your behavior demonstrate something else is disappointing. And I think sometimes that we can think we're very moral and we're on a high ground, and then we can do something that directly goes against that. And then we get confused when people don't think that we're trustworthy. And I think it just goes back to the fact that being trustworthy and being able to trust yourself requires you to be able to look at your own behavior. And it's really hard to do that because it means that sometimes you have to admit when you're wrong, and sometimes you have to admit when you've made a mistake. But those are essential things and skills that you need to have in order to, I don't know, be a full human. We can do all of the other things, but when it comes to admitting that we're wrong or changing our minds or needing another chance or asking for forgiveness, those things can be really hard to do. But not doing them is not an option. But I think a lot of people try to operate around doing everything but those things.

100%, let's be honest, looking at ourselves is the most courageous thing we'll ever embark on. Really is. But if we're able to do so, it creates the checks and balances that we need to make sure that we're on solid ground. If I can give myself a voice and do what we call in our body of work, plant our flag, that I know that regardless of what you say or accuse me of or whatever perspective that you bring my way, I'm in a place where I can go ahead and take a look at that. I'm willing to look and observe, and then I'm willing to let you know what comes up for me, what I think, what I feel, what I know to be true from My experience and my perspective. And I want you to see and understand that these perspectives that we all have, it's not important that they're the same. It's important that we can share them. And that's a huge distinction, because we can spend so much time in our relationships trying to convince our partners to think and feel a certain way without realizing that's wasted energy. I don't need to do that. What I need to do is pursue the understanding of a perspective that may be different than mine, and then anticipate or build confidence on the fact that you'll return the favor back to me or the gift that I've given. Because seeing things in a different way is not a bad thing. And it can actually be used as a divisive method to separate us and create dissension without realizing the gift of having different perspectives is that we have a fractal of more of the whole. So seeing things differently is okay. It must be okay. But how we handle those differences is everything. It's the difference between expanding us into seeing more of the whole and understanding myself and you and us better, or creating holy war and bloodshed and unnecessary suffering.

Well, you know, I would say that this election was the most divisive election in our history. I think everyone, whatever side of the island, would agree with that. And both parties were looking to change each other's minds. And I would say both kind of had similar strategies of just simply kind of spitting rhetoric at each other and pointing out all the ways that each other was wrong, but not really understanding each other or seeing where we were coming from. And I think that was because it was so divisive and because we feel so much is on the line, I'm going to just go ahead and say that I am a Kamala Harris supporter. And so I'm pretty disappointed with the results of the election. And I just want to hold space for anyone who's feeling the same way. I'm very emotional. I'm having a very hard time accepting the results. But I can see why this happened. And I think that's a really important perspective to hold because it shows what Momtu just said, that if we're trying to understand each other, it's a different energy than trying to change each other's minds. You know, you can't do that without first understanding each other, which totally translates to relationships, because that's often how we try to change our partner's mind. And I would like everyone to admit that that never works. It just makes. It makes you feel bad for making your partner feel bad. And it makes your partner feel like you think they're stupid or that they're not good enough or that they are an idiot. And all those same principles hold true in this political discussion. Like, that's what happens when we talk to the other side and we don't do it from a place of understanding. And look, I get why we don't do it from a place of understanding because we feel so righteous about our side and we think we're right and we think this is the only way that it's going to work. But the two sides, like ideas are so different, so vastly different, that it's not working for us to be in these two very separate silos, obviously, because our messages were totally opposite, you know, and there was no coming to the table and talking about how we could come together. And I'm not saying that I. We know the answers of how to make that work, but I would say that we need to have more of a connection and more of a community with our neighbors. Because currently feeling like we're so divided, it's not going to create a brighter future. It's just going to create more hate and more division.

Absolutely. Well, here's the thing. If I build trust in myself, then I have the ability to actually step away from it, to truly step in and understand you, because I'm not threatened. I don't feel like it's contagious. I don't feel like I have to convince or coerce you into anything. I. I have the ability to, like, truly be in the space of exploration and curiosity. And building trust in yourself gives you so many wonderful abilities. And I truly feel, at the end of the day, this is the principle and the skill that we lack the most in our country and our society right now, in our community at large. And if this indeed is the case, then it's very, very easy for us to divide each other. Because we start to divide and say, well, I'm not of this camp, so if you are not with me, you're against me. And so says the other side. And I just, I hope that you hear what I'm saying is that if we continue down this track of thinking and mentality, the inevitable thing is just bloodshed and war. And it happens in our homes as well. If I'm saying to my partner, my lover, I felt like we were together on this, but now I feel like if you're not with me or against me, and we become polarized and then we get the kids in the middle and the kids are having to choose sides in regards to which one they're going to, you know, kind of align with. And not only just the children, but the friends and the in laws and the neighbors. Like, we start polarizing them, demanding that they choose a side, thinking that the more people we have on our side, the more right we are and the more vindicated we are in regards to the perspectives that we are spouting without realizing you're missing the entire point. The entire point is not that you can't be impassioned by your side. The point is that you are not allowing or giving space for the other side as well. And do you understand that as much as you understand your own? And I promise you that if we will step into these places and spaces of understanding, we will all expand as a result of it. Because the only thing that comes from divisive taking sides is hate. And once we get to that place, well, then it's really easy to start mistreating you or devaluing you or minimizing you or causing punishment or pain. Until you justified in my own mind, without realizing, you know what? That's never okay. That is absolutely never okay. Because when we get to the heart of the matter, underneath it all, we are all humans truly pursuing very similar things. I want to feel like I matter. I want to feel like we're in this together. I want to feel like we can navigate through this. I want to grow. I want to expand. I want to explore. I want to. I want to be all that I can be. And guess what? You do, too. And so it's important that we understand that there's more in common that we all share than we are different. And these little things become big things, and then we can turn them into malicious things, which is unnecessary. Which is where I say, all right, we got to go back to basics, which is building a trust in yourself.

I've been listening to kind of just the debriefs of everything that happened in this election. And I think the Democrats, there have been a couple that have said, we tried to get Trump supporters on our side by calling Trump names like a misogynist, a racist, a dictator on day one. All of these things, which I'm not saying he's not, but it didn't work on getting people to come to our side. And again, you know, I'm not saying that he doesn't have those qualities. What I am saying is that using that language to try to get someone to be on your side, to just makes them feel bad about believing in him doesn't point out the danger of him becoming president. It points out like their flaw of thinking that he's a great person. You know what I mean? It's not an effective strategy, which I wish that would have been discovered sooner, but it's, it just shows the fallacy in that thinking because both sides were doing it and I don't think it won anyone over to the other side. Both sides were doing that using those inflammatory words to describe what was going to happen if the other one became president. And I. It didn't make anyone feel good. And I don't think it truly accomplished the, the intent of that messaging. It just made more division.

Think about growing up in a household now where you have a mom and a dad who are propagating who's right and who's wrong and they're impassioned about it and you can see them calling names and minimizing and mistreating each other. And what do you take away from that? Does it help you decide which side to be on or does it just create more destruction and breakdown within yourself?

As a child, if I was in that situation, I wouldn't be like, oh, my mom is right or my dad is right. It just makes you confused and, and wonder why is it so chaotic?

Well, what are you going to align with? You're going to probably align with the one that you feel can maybe represent where you're coming from and what you're struggling with too.

Yeah.

But also where the safe place is. Where is the safe place who can help me become and do and. And be what it is I feel like I have the ability to do come and believe right now or who can protect me from the things that I'm struggling with. And aren't I going to align with that? Probably, yeah. I'm not necessarily going to decipher who's right and who's wrong. I'm just looking at it from a very individualistic lens. And so building a trust in yourself to be able to make the calls and to understand ourselves in such profound ways is critical because otherwise we're going to be thrown to and fro from the advices and the opinions of others, including us. Like, I want you to find a place, listener, where you know, it fits for you, whatever that is. But I want it to be your decision. I want it to be your place in the world. I want it to be something that you feel really good about. Because when it comes to then the opinions of others, which is what's going to happen when you Create a relationship with someone or navigate a relationship with someone. It's very easy for us to lose our place and our sense of self and we start going along with the opinions and points of view of others only to find ourselves. And I've done this many times myself down the road feeling like I'm a shell of myself because of it. Thinking that me coming along with you was going to make me happy. And then there creates this disingenuous place of trust inside of myself. So if I can maintain and build a trust in myself, it gives me the ability and the power to navigate through all kinds of things. The first thing it's going to give you is a feel of independence of other people's good opinions. Like it helps me feel good about my opinions and then I can know where I align and don't align with others. Number two, it's going to help me be unafraid and calm. My ability to show vulnerability. I want to be able to be vulnerable and say what it is I feel and I think and I know to be true. Because admitting that helps me get the validation that I am up to and including as Brookels are already pointed to, admitting my flaws and even celebrating them sometimes that it's okay to be a messmaking machine and to struggle and to not know how life giving that can be for all of us. But I can only get there if I have some sensibility about who I am and then listen to differing perspectives without feeling threatened. My gosh, this is huge when it comes to co creating with others because if I don't have the ability to do this, it's very difficult to co create with others. I have to be right, I have to know, I have to have the answers right. Well, if that's the case that I'm never going to be able to genuinely offer up a listening ear to understand things that I don't understand. I'm going to be pushing my own agenda and my own perspective. Otherwise I feel threatened essentially and or responsible for the thought, thoughts, feelings and emotions of another essentially. I need to be brave enough to understand my own perspective so that I can understand the perspective of others. And four, feeling personal integrity within myself is huge. This is where I develop self esteem, self confidence, a sense of self. If I can't give this to myself, well, the unfortunate place in space is that nobody's going to be able to give that to me. I have to develop that ability within me about who I am and who I want to be and how I want to show up in the world. And that can't be dictated by the points of view or opinions of others. I have to find my own place and space in the world, the place where I feel like I belong. And then I get to create the space to express my character, my style or my personality. Even though it may rub some other people wrong. You are doing the best with the experience and information that you have at each and every moment. If I am filtering it through who I am and who I know myself to be, this doesn't mean you don't mess up, because everyone does. It just means that this is who I am and how I identify and what I want to stand for in the place and space called my life. And then, and only then, do I have the space and the ability to reach across and understand what that might be for somebody else. And you know what's ironic? When we truly understand and have a solid place for ourselves to stand, we could be at polar opposite experiences in the life spectrum and we could cheer each other on instead of feel threatened and like we've got to fight against it. Instead, a person that's been convinced against their own will will still remain a person who is doubtful and spinning and spiraling inside of themselves. It doesn't help us accomplish anything. So I'm going to just ask each and every one of you to let go of trying to convince anyone of what they should or shouldn't believe and instead stand for a place and a pillar where we encourage people to find where they truly stand in the world. Not my opinion. Here's mine for reflection. But find your own place to stand. Because that's the only place of foundation that each and every one of us have within ourselves. And then co creation within our relationships becomes so much easier. The second step that I would encourage you to embark on is be willing to build trust with others. Because here's the truth. Loneliness isn't just a feeling. It's a social isolation of mind. Your thinking becomes closed off to the world when you believe that you're isolated and alone and a sense of shared being is being abandoned not only by yourself, but others. The constant talks of fear and attacks on systems and humans can cause us to turn away from leaning on each other and towards simple steps and awareness and answers that increase our sense of togetherness and well being. This is one of my greatest concerns for where we are as a people is that the minute I feel like I can't trust you, I won't reach out to you. And therefore the bonds between us cannot be formed. And that leaves us in a place where I feel like I'm threatened and I'm unsafe and I'm not okay, that's going to dismantle us. It's going to dismantle not only my ability to find a foundation within myself, but to find safety in the world that I live in with others, regardless of where you stand. And so we must find that trust with inside of ourselves so that when then we have it to risk with others as we step out into the world to find community and build alliances. Regardless of what side of the aisle you find yourself on or what our different perspectives may be, this is the only place in space that we could actually form a place of expansion for each and every person on the planet called Earth. If we don't have the ability to do this, I will feel threatened by you and you will feel threatened by me. And hence we will never be able to find and co create the love and the common threads that bind us together forever and always. In step three, you've got to let go of what you can't control. Because here's the thing, if we can't do that, we're going to find ourselves in a rigid place where we can't be flexible. Growing up, my mom had a superpower ability to let go of what she could not control and to reach for and piece together tiny bits of joy in the most challenging of circumstances. I remember having many circumstances that threatened the very essence of having a home, a roof over our head, food in the fridge, and the ability for transportation for any of us to become anything or go anywhere. And yet, in these most dire moments, my mom would absolutely reach for again and again and again. Not only the community of support that she had at her fingertips called her children, but she also reached for the strength to find the get to in the moment. This created moments of memories that are incredible. When our heat got turned off. And instead of her crying on the couch and suffering and collapsing and how could she have let us all down, she turned it into a moment of we get to pitch the tent, bring out the lanterns, roast frozen burritos on the barbecue grill, sang songs, told ghost stories by flashlight, and went to sleep feeling like everything was going to be okay. And she did this again and again and again. Which taught me that regardless of what the circumstances are outside, we have the power to create good in our lives, regardless of what that looks like. And I want to remind you right now, each and every one of us has the power to create and connect in spite of our differences. Let's not lose our ability to connect and share in the pursuit of this understanding of both sides. To do this, it's going to require us to let go of fear of being right and the ability to let go of what it is we cannot control.

It reminds me of what Kamala said in her concession speech, that she hopes that this period of time isn't going to be a dark period of time for America. But if it is, we can all shine and be the brightest stars in the darkness. And I think that's a perfect example of the story you just shared about your mom. You didn't even know you were in a dark time because she was shining so bright. And I think we all have the opportunity. I know some people are feeling joyous, and for the people who feel disappointed, I just want to remind them that just what Mom2 just said, even though we feel like there's chaos and mayhem going out on in the world, we still have the opportunity to create peace and solace and happiness and joy in our homes. And that is going to spread out further than you can even imagine, because, especially if you have young children, teach them to love everyone. Teach them not to hate. Teach them to be open minded. That is the bright light that's going to create the connection in the community that we need so much as a world. You know, it's. We've become so individualistic and we've stopped depending on our neighbors and we've stopped connecting in those ways. And I think that's really hurt us. And I know a lot of that happened during the pandemic because we had to. We had to be so separate. But I don't really think we've come out of that. So we're still kind of stuck in this very individualistic way of thinking. I'm not just talking about politically. It's everywhere. And it's stopping us from experiencing these moments of. Of sweet community and connection and joy and smiling and laughing and joking with people that we desperately need. It's part of our needs as humans to have those feelings and have those experiences, and we're not feeling that way right now. We just need to remember that it's possible. Because even though this feels like a devastating blow to a lot of people, those times and those feelings will still happen.

It's time for us to remember the commonalities of being human and to reach for those commonalities and to find those commonalities and to thread them together. Look, in our Better Love Club, we have people on all sides and walks of life being A mediator and helping couples navigate through the difficulties. We dance with this need to be objective and neutral every day. And the only way that we get to do that is we get to step into the perspectives and the opinions and points of view and feelings of both sides, recognizing that both of them have merit. And that if we were to suspend our own thoughts and feelings for a minute by not losing our way, which I can only do when I have a trust and a belief in myself, I would start to feel like maybe I could create an understanding and a new path forward and a common thread that I can find with each and every person in my life. But I have to be willing to let go of what I can't control. I have to let go of my very human desire to convince or enroll others into my own perspective as they're desperately fighting to do the same. And this is where, you know, the ever infamous Serenity prayer plays a role in our lives. Whether it's God that I'm praying to or the God in me that I feel like I need to find and discover, or the universal intelligence that we all come from, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I absolutely can. And here's the kicker. The wisdom to know the difference. Because it's wisdom that we accumulate over time. Wisdom is earned. It is lived experience that now makes sense that I can implement into my life. And without wisdom to know the difference, I often find myself trying to change things. I really, in the beginning had no ability to change at all. And I get worried and anxiety ridden about the things I think I should be able to change. But when I look at it, without wisdom, really don't have the ability to change at all. But what I absolutely can do day in and day out without fail, is to create a moment of my life right now where I feel grounded in my ability to trust myself to navigate whatever comes and my ability to build connection and love with those with which I am surrounded by. It is in these places that then we can create a little bit of joy, just as my mother did, regardless of the circumstances, to find a place in a space where I know I'm going to believe in my ability to navigate through whatever is to come. That is my win amongst it all. And regardless of what is happening outside of the walls of my own home, that I absolutely have the ability to create good where I stand. And this brings me to the the last step, step four and the final step that I want to share with you. It is imperative right now that we keep dreaming and reaching for what it is we want. Because if we don't do that, we're going to get lost in the don't want and forget that the possibilities of what can be in the future are not even available, which creates more distrust in myself and others, more breakdown, more fear, more isolation.

And it stops you and it stops you from living when you don't have a vision of the future. Makes it makes you feel like living is pointless. Whoever is in the White House, we can't change that. We can't change who got elected as president. What we can change is how we feel in our homes and the memories and the things that we do inside of the walls that you live in every single day. Because it can feel so easy to spiral and doom scroll and think about all the worst things that could possibly, possibly happen. Trust me, I've been doing that. But it doesn't feel good and it doesn't really do anything to change it. It just makes you feel terrible.

Well, and let's, let's hypothetically say that there are some of our listeners who are in polar opposite spaces and they have their partner dancing around the house gleefully and one that's absolutely devastated. Let's stop competing for who should be feeling what and honor the fact that everyone is feeling the way that they feeling and then reach across to each other to find the common threads that bond us. And the only way we're going to be able to do that is to reach for the things that we want in common. You're going to find things like we want to love our children, we want to stand secure, we want to be honest, we want to share, we want to make love. We want to have moments that delight us and find joy. And I promise that if you'll come at it from that place, there will always be a thread of connection that we can find that will unify us. And when we get all spiraled up in our fear, we forget to even look for those things we, we don't even believe sometimes that they're available and they're possible. And so I'm going to emphasize a few things as we think about dreaming and keeping our wants alive. And the first thing is empathy and patience for ourselves and each other in this place is incredibly important. Use language that says, hey, we're in this together. We're going to figure a way out. I believe in our ability to navigate this or, or things like, I know this is really heavy on you right now. How can I support you or hey, I just want you to know I love and appreciate you being here with me and navigating this together. These are really important things that remind us of the unification in spite of the idea that we have different perspectives on these things, because at the end of the day, we really are more similar than we are different. Also, simple gestures like thinking about things that, you know, make your partner's heart sing, these are imperative and important right now in times of high stress and places and spaces where we can be exceptionally reactionary because we feel so threatened and we're trying to manage our own conflict and fear around these things. So a back rub, a cup of tea, a cup of coffee, or a hug, kiss on the cheek, or the offer of going out for the evening and letting the world kind of fall away as we find a new place to reconnect, are really important things that counteract the incredible stress that we might be feeling right now in our polar opposite emotion. And then another thing that's helpful is to find places and spaces where we can absolutely decompress from the stressors that we're feeling and remember the good things. So this might be remembering what it is we can create that's good and that we're aligned on, and let's pursue those things and then create places and spaces where we can decompress, go for a walk, move our bodies, breathe, reconnect with nature, find a safe place where I can just let it go and know that I'm okay to find that place of trust inside of myself that starts all of this in motion. If I have a safe place inside of myself to navigate, then I can step out and risk creating trust with another. And if I can do that, then we can step into having conversations in the pursuit of understanding. And from that understanding we can start to create and remember our wants and our desires that create our common threads together. These are important things that I really invite you to ponder and ruminate on and allow to become part of your life right now. My final thoughts on this is, remember you have the power to create and recreate more of what you want, regardless of what the outside circumstances are. Remember the stories of my mom. She would create happiness and joy out of circumstances that could have leveled us and in a funny way, that just kept us going. And I want to challenge you to do that in your own life right now, regardless of what the circumstances might be that are pressing on you. We need each other now more than ever. My hope is that today's episode has helped you feel more connected to our humanity that lives in all of us, regardless of where you might find yourself today. And I'll say this one last thing. Here's the deal. Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside of you that is greater than any obstacle that will ever be placed in your path. I know this to be true 100%. I've had a mother that showed me the way, and I hope that that's what we do for our clients. And you here, dear listener that listens to this podcast, that no obstacle is greater than your ability to figure out how you're going to navigate it. But you're going to need those four things we just talked about.

I found a quote about hope that I just think people would like to hear in this moment. I think from Twitter Matthew Crows Faults said People speak of hope as if it's this delicate, ephemeral thing made of whispers and spider webs. It's not. Hope has dirt on her face, blood on her knuckles, and the grit of cobblestones in her hair, and just spat out a tooth as she rises for another go. And I just think we all need to remember in this moment that hope is not delicate. Hope is strong and we all have it. And we can't forget that because it's what's going to power us through forever.

100 I want to invite you to join our Avoid Divorce Marriage Blueprint wait list. If you're ready to take these conversations that we've had in this episode today deeper and really commit to creating a stronger, more resilient bond with yourself and your partner, we invite you to join the wait list in our program Save your Marriage A Blueprint for Avoiding Divorce. This program is designed to give you the tools and strategies to navigate challenges and reconnect in a meaningful way. Spots Phillips quickly. So head over to the link in the show notes or visit staceybartly.com forward/waitlist to secure your place.

And you know what? If you've been listening lately and you're probably saying, Tom, Stacy and Brooke, you keep saying this wait list. When the heck is this pathway going to be there? I can appreciate that because you all know that I'm the detail guy and to be fully transparent, we have pushed this back and pushed this back because we've had a life, a lot of life, happen within our little ecosystem and we take responsibility for that. Apologize for the delay. We're gonna have a freaking amazing Black Friday Cyber Monday sale will be the only time we do this, so you'll definitely want to check this out. And I do apologize for the amount of time that it's taken for this one to come to fruition.

Wow. And I'm gonna.

That means it's gonna be really good.

And there's going to be a special reward for our podcast listeners.

Yes, there is. So again, we take full responsibility because I pay. Tom, when is this thing coming? You told me like a month or six weeks ago. I know. Yes. And so our bad. We take responsibility, but, you know, we navigate life just like you all do. So. But it. I promise you it's going to be good. And we'd love to have it join.

Us, Step into a little bit of follow the fun. It immediately came to me. You know what we need to do? You know what my mama would do? It's time to have a little bit of fun, for God's sakes. So today I'm going to invite you to plan something that sounds life giving to you. It doesn't need to be something big, just something different that when you think about doing, creates an experience of joy and ease in your life.

I got bangs. That was my thing. I said I need something fun right now. So I went out and got some bangs.

You better show some social media so people can see your new.

I will. I'll post them on our. On our Instagram.

That sounds awesome. And you know what we're gonna need to do? Mr. Bartley, I'm not sure if I.

Got any bangs I can show.

No, I don't think it's bangs for you. I think it's dancing. We're gonna have to get out and shake our money maker. So whatever it is for you, remember that regardless of maybe where you are right now, emotionally choose something instead that creates a little bit of joy in your life and you'll reap the benefits from doing it. And by the way, you may not feel like doing it, I'm gonna say do it anyway, because you're not going to reap the benefits on the front side. You're going to reap the benefits on the backside. Our song today is a song by Kenyon Dixon, Closer. And the song simply says, many times, come closer to me. And isn't that what we need to do right now? Come closer, come closer to me. Regardless of our differences, let's find a place where you unify in our humanity. You can check this song out on our Spotify account by searching up Love Shack Live playlist, or you can go to our website and you can find the song there as well. It's a good one. It's got soul and it makes me want to just reach out and squeeze you. All right, that's it for today. I hope that you find some joy and some happiness and some repose in this episode. And regardless of where this finds you, know that we're sending you a tremendous amount of love and a big hug and a squeeze, knowing that we understand and realize that we're all in this together. And it's important that we remember that and we will be and promise to be the voice of that. Bye bye for now.

All right, it's time to leave the love shack. But before we part ways, we want you to know our door is always open and we'll leave the porch light on. Ready to welcome you back whenever you need a dose of relationship wisdom. For more resources and tools, Visit us at loveshacklive.com to dive deeper into the topics we've explored and find find additional support for your relationship journey. Stay connected by subscribing to our podcast. Thank you for being part of our Love Shack Live community.