#217: How Long Should You Wait? The Truth About Waiting for Your Partner to Come Back

Imagine you're stranded at a bus stop. You're exhausted, hungry, and unsure if the bus is even coming. But you keep waiting anyway, convincing yourself that any minute now, it's going to show up. The longer you wait, the more stuck you feel, because you're telling yourself that leaving isn't an option. What if the bus comes right after you walk away? But here's the truth. Even if it does, you've lost so much time just sitting there waiting. What if you got up and started walking and realized there was another way to get where it is you wanted to go? If you're stuck waiting for your partner to come back, hoping they'll suddenly realize they've made a mistake, you're not alone. But waiting isn't sustainable. It actually keeps you stuck. It's draining your energy, eroding your confidence as you put your entire life on hold. Welcome to Love Shack Live, the podcast for people who find themselves at a relationship crossroads where the emotional gap is growing and the daily conflicts feel heavier and the future is full of uncertainty. I'm Stacey Bartley, a relationship mentor, and I'm here with my co host and lover, Tom and her daughter Brooke. Together, we help people navigate the hardest moments in love with real, actionable strategies that create real change for life. So today we're asking, how long should a person wait? What is waiting actually costing you? And more importantly, how do you shift from waiting for your partner's decision to taking back your personal power again to live and thrive? Let's dive in.

Hey, thank you for coming. Welcome to the Love Shack.

What is it that causes us to wait? And what is the psychological toll of doing so? Because right now you're in a place of uncertainty, your partner's pulled away and you don't know where you stand. And you're probably thinking things like this, should I reach out? Or will that push them further away? Or maybe if I give them time, they're going to come back. They'll see all that I am and all that I do, and if I just wait long enough, things are going to go back to normal. I just know they are. Let's get back to the best days of our relationship. We hear that a lot in our but here's the truth. Waiting is not just a neutral place, I. E. Simply maintaining where you are right now. And we can often think that, what's the big deal? I'll just hang out here and wait because I'm in neutral. It's like thinking of a car in idle. It just sits there. But you know Life doesn't work like that. In the human experience, we're either moving forward or we're sliding back. We don't just stay present in any given moment whatsoever. The real cost of waiting is your mental energy is going to be consumed by the relationship. For example, instead of focusing on work or the kids, or building friendships, or even just enjoying a quiet moment with yourself, your mind is constantly in overdrive, analyzing every single text, every single moment of silence, and every possible signal or sign where you think that you can have a little bit of hope. What does this mean? What does the message mean? If they told me they care, does that mean they're coming home soon? Like everything is a symbol or a phrase that is either saying they're coming home or they're not. And this can be a very all consuming, mentally and physically degrading and depleting experience for us as we sit in this idle place. Now, I'm not saying there aren't times to wait, but what I am saying is that in this place of waiting, it's important for you to become mindful about what waiting does and can do to you, for you. And how do we benefit from the waiting, from the not knowing, from navigating into a different place and journey from where you are, versus the breakdown that I'm just touching on. Because if you hang out here in this place of just waiting, you're going to lose confidence and self worth.

Would you equate waiting with space?

Wasn't that what you're doing in space?

Right. So I think this is a really, really. I mean, I don't know how many episodes we've done on space and separation. It's been many, many. But we say this often, space without a plan will just give you more space, which we're saying is probably going to lead to more degradation, more breakdown of you.

Yeah, but that's what we are taught to do. Like that's the no question.

Yes.

Which is when your partner says, I need space, you say, okay, I'll wait for when you're ready. But I know we're going to get to this later in the episode, but I would like to propose that if you just wait there like a good little girl or boy, that's going to show your partner that you're just going to. To potentially wait there forever. You're just always going to be there waiting. The point of this episode is to show you that you can wait. But there's also a lot of other things that you can be doing in the waiting to remind you that you have agency as well. It's not just about them. It's about you too.

I think often we don't understand why waiting is a problem too, because logically you think in your mind, well, what's the big deal? Just wait. I love you. I care about you. I want what we've had and what we've created, and I want it to continue. So I'll wait. And that's a wonderful thing. The part of the equation that we don't often talk about is that while you're waiting, your confidence breaks down, your self worth breaks down. And the longer you wait, the more you tie your sense of value to whether your partner chooses you again. And every day that they don't come back feels like the confirmation that you aren't enough. So you begin to judge yourself and compare yourself to everything and everyone around you. And so it becomes this doubtful breakdown of which is the part that we'll be dismantling.

I thought of this analogy today while I was working on our sales page. And you know, mom too, how you always say that listening is the hardest part of talking because it takes so much emotional weightlifting to not talk and to make sure you're really listening and you're not planning your response, you're just listening. Well, I feel like waiting is kind of the equivalent of always listening and never saying a word. You know, I think that's why it feels so hard. It's like because you never get to say, oh, I'm here too.

You're always in a place where you're voiceless. And anytime as a human being, we become voiceless is a place and a space where we give all of our power away, our personal power, our ability to advocate for ourselves, to choose, to decide the person to be, to speak, to breathe, to exist, to take up space and room in any given place and space and situation. Essentially, that's what self esteem is. I give myself permission to exist, to breathe, to be counted, to be among us, to be included as a part of. And when I don't feel like I'm worthy or deserving, then I seem to try and like deflate into the background, to minimize my voice, my presence, what I'm about, what I need, what helps me thrive. And I discount it by saying, oh, that doesn't matter, I don't matter. It's not a big deal. I can give it, I can wait. That's. That's no big deal. Just let me sit quietly in the background and hope that this is all going to go well without realizing it's. Very self deprecating to do so. It might be fine for a week or two or a month or two, but you get into this process. I've personally experienced it myself, as I think all of us have. Pretty soon there is nothing much left of you but the shell of what you hoped to become as a human, as a person, as you hope and wait and pray and beg and plead for this person that you want to love or include in your life to accept you and love you for what you are. And what if it never comes? And when it doesn't come, we wait longer which can become more self deprecating. And then let's just talk about the stress on your body and your mind. 24 7. The kind of emotional stress isn't just in your head. It affects your physical health. And many people in limbo struggle with things like sleepless nights, increased anxiety and panic attacks, difficulty concentrating at work or anywhere, quite frankly, physical exhaustion, which can and often turns into mental health and physical health issues. So this is no small thing that we're talking about. We're not saying just pull your life over to the curb, turn the car off and wait and while you do so, read a book. We're saying whenever a human being does that and just pulls the car over to the curb and decides that they're not going to live anymore or become voiceless anymore, they lose a sense of self. They lose a concept of their worthiness, self confidence, self esteem, and most importantly, their voice, their personal power. They give it all away.

And you touched on this a bit. But I just want to remind people that when we are so desperate to do anything, you know, fold ourselves into a pretzel and be as small as possible, like, oh, I'll just stay right here, I'm not going to make a noise. You can trust me to be, you know, I'm not going to do anything to bother your space. I'm just going to be here. Will agree to things like, oh yeah, I'll never have to pee again, I promise. Like if we're on a road trip, you know, I'll never have to do. I won't even ever ask if we're going to stop and get food, I swear to God. Well, you're not realizing that by doing that and compromising all those things and making yourself as small as possible to not be a bother. You can't do that forever. By making those promises on the outset, you're compromising so much of yourself and so much of your agency and so much of the things that make you you, and the things that fill you joy and give you strength to carry on. You're saying you're not going to do any of those. You're going to run out of gas real quick and then you're going to be left in this box that you swore you wouldn't do any of the things that you want to do. It's a path to nowhere. But we do it so often because we're so desperate to hold on to the relationship and not make any fuss or mess or, you know, do any of the triggers that maybe led to space in the first place. But that's not, not realistic. We can't do that.

Yeah, Putting your life on hold means that every decision you make is based on what your partner might do or not do. And so you avoid making plans, you hesitate to start new projects, and you live in the constant wait and see mode. So your entire life has constraints, like Brookie said. And that metaphor, like being on a road trip is, is very profound. You know, you initially get in the car and say, I won't be a problem, I'll just be back here. But then you start to see that you have needs and deserve to breathe and take up space and have wants and you deserve to thrive and have a voice. But you've given all your power away by promising on the onset that you won't be a problem. So then what happens when you do have to pee or you do get hungry? You're going to take a big poop like that. Now that's going to be a problem because you promised, remember, that you weren't going to do any of these things. And you can be called on that. And the conversation and the dynamics of the situation can be flipped around not maliciously, but it's all in how we set it up. So as we step into. Okay, I get it. So many of us who have big hearts and who love intentionally and who really want to give and contribute and support and to love. It's kind of like the more we care, the more we have to contribute in on the front side, the more we can find ourselves in these very self deprecating spaces and places of personal breakdown. Because what seemed to be so easy and doable are often becomes a cost to ourselves that we really didn't anticipate on the front side.

Well, I would say it's because things are out of balance. I mean, we can love with all of our heart, but not to the place of breakdown to ourself. Everything in the universe has balance. And when Things are out of balance with humans and any business nature, there's going to be a correction. I just want to get back to point. So, because we've said this, but I think this is a really important distinction. Space with a plan. The beautiful thing is everyone think, well, okay, well then how quickly do I want to reach out and get all this back together? It has nothing to do with your partner or your special someone. It's spaced with a plan with yourself. That's the beautiful thing, has nothing to do with your partner.

Mr. Bartley, my whole focus is on getting my partner to come home and us getting back to square zero. So don't tell me right now that this isn't about my partner, because right now I'm consumed with my partner and what it is I need to do and become to get them to come home.

No. And I know we're having some fun here, but I do think there's maybe been a misunderstanding because I'll have people like on clarity. Because Tom, you know, space with a plan. You're right. But oftentimes I think the automatic default is yes, at the right point in time of the evolution of this process. But the initial, I would say this is really good news. We've got to pull back or help you understand that. You know, doing all this obsession on our special someone, thinking that's going to get her for him back. We're going to help you lessen that and redirect that. And the most important person right now is you. And with the goal and the understanding, at some point in time, we're going to teach and coach you how to step back in with a plan to the special someone, but with not all the cray cray that usually happens in this type of a deal.

Yeah. Because when your partner has asked for space, it's because they reach that place of mental overwhelm and no gas in their emotional gas tank and all of that stuff. So then having you obsessively wanting answers from them, that's not giving them space. I'm not saying that it's not hard because of course, our brains do not like uncertainty. So they are. You are only asking them these questions so that you can quell the uncertainty in your mind. But it doesn't respect your partner's request in the first place, which I'm not saying that your partner perfectly asked you for space. It could have been very messy.

Messy.

It could have been them saying, I need space at the end of a very awful fight. It could have been an awful situation of how it came to be. Maybe it was. And so that would mean you need even more reassurance. But what we're trying to show you with this episode is you know what that's going to do. That's going to make your partner, who's already feeling avoidant and overwhelmed and wanting some time alone to go even further away. And it's going to make you feel even crazier because they're going to go further away and give you even less answers than they would have given previously, obviously. And it's just going to make the space last longer and the confusion between both of you become even worse. Even though that's what everything in your body is telling you. I need to do that. I need to text them, I need these answers. You know, it's a big, like, dichotomy in this situation that you really have to pull back and look at so that you can understand what's happening behind both people.

So waiting isn't the same as healing. There is unknown time frame and journey that absolutely is required when you're in this space. However, how we use this time will be the difference between breakdown or breakthrough. And that's really kind of what we're trying to communicate, like waiting. It's fine to wait, but how you use the time to wait is going to be the difference maker. You can use this time of waiting as a breakthrough for yourself, understanding yourself, how you show up in relationships, what was working, what wasn't working for you, so that it will help you understand how to create more of what it is you want. Or you can use this by obsessing about your partner, how to get them to come home, figure out what it is they're thinking, where it is they're going, what it is they're up to, tracking them, deciphering the smoke signals, talking to friends and family, and I guarantee you, all of that will absolutely break you down. Waiting often can feel like it's this hopeful place, like, if I just wait a little longer, if I just hang on a little longer. Kind of like how we opened this episode. You're sitting at a bus stop waiting, and as the time clicks by, you're hopeful that the bus is coming on the front side, aren't you? But as the bus then becomes late, and then as you sit and wait longer and you get into 10 minutes late, 15 minutes late, 30 minutes late, your brain starts to kind of go, why isn't the bus coming? What's going on? You might start to check, you know, and try and figure a few things. Out. And at some point in time you're going to be called upon to either continue to wait, hoping that the bus will eventually come, or figuring out how it is you're going to navigate to the point in space that you needed to go to in the first place. Getting an Uber, catching a taxi, starting to walk. Eventually I'm going to be walking in the direction that I want to go anyway. So even if I'm on foot, on my own accord, if I go in the direction that I want to, to go anyway, eventually I know I'm going to get there. If I sit here and wait, I may never get to where it is I want to go. And as we apply this to the situation of being in limbo, look, what are the experiences that you want to have in your relationships while you're on planet Earth? What are they? And if I continue to pursue those in my friendships and the relationships with myself, with my children, with my community, I'm going to eventually get where it is I want to go. But if I sit and wait for this one way, this only singular focus on this one person in my life to make all my dreams come true when it comes to my relationships, it may never come. And it would be very metaphoric to me standing there waiting for that singular bus to come when I can start doing some things for myself to take me in the direction that I want to go anyway.

Well, and just one thing, having that hope eventually becomes toxic because you're like, well, the bus is going to come any minute or the person, my person is going to text me any second. And meanwhile like 20 days or 20 hours have gone and you're still sitting on that bench or sitting on your couch waiting for that text that maybe your partner has no intention on sending. You know, it becomes a cycle of toxic positivity that, that doesn't serve you.

That actually attacks your self esteem and your self confidence. And it sounds a lot like this, I won't be okay without you. You begin to believe that you don't have the ability to continue on and create a good life for yourself with or without your partner. It's all wrapped up in everything that this person does or doesn't do. And that's going to begin to be the rudder of your life. And so quickly can we forget that we have the power and the permission of choice for ourselves and we give all of our choice and our over to a singular person. So healing is active. Healing is like walking down the street in the direction that you want to go and waiting is A very passive place. Healing would be processing emotions, rebuilding trust in yourself, and learning how to navigate life on your own. Regardless of what your partner does. Waiting would be delaying your life until someone else decides what's going to happen next. You literally won't make a move until you're given the permission to do so. We become literally stuck in the magical moment that we're all hoping for, which is made up in our minds, which we believe that one day our partners are going to bust through the door and just wake up and realize that they've made a mistake. Now, how many times do we obsessively think about this? We imagine the dramatic movie moment where our partner rushes in and says, I was wrong. I love you. I've made the biggest mistake of my life. Let's fix this. Let's work on us. I'm not the same without you. And as we hang on to that magical moment, we don't realize that moment rarely happens out of the blue. The reconciliations happen when both partners are willing to actively come together to do the do the work, not when one person simply waits for the other to figure some things out. So let me ask you right now a really tough question, because I know this episode, unlike some of our others, is kind of like right up in your face for those who are waiting. It really is. And we do this with the greatest love and respect for this place and position. So I've got to ask you, what are you and your partner really practicing right now? Because what you're practicing will tend to be the thing that grows. Will what you're practicing bring you more of what you adore or leave you hurting even more? What are we practicing? What is happening for real? As I look at the reality of what is, and if I continue to be voiceless, to not have a need or a want or a desire, and I make it always work for my person, then what happens to you? Are you setting it up and walking to a place and a path and a position in your life where you're going to bring more into your life that you adore? Or are you going to leave and be left with hurting even more? Unintentionally, waiting also sends messages to your partner like this. You'll always be there, no matter what. And how they treat you? Is that what we want to practice? They don't have to take action because you're holding space indefinitely. They're given all the power to do as they please while you stand behind and feel stuck. Is this setting up a healthy, thriving relationship in the future or not. And I know these are tough questions and tough things to consider, but they're important things to kind of like reset us on a path of like. Hey, wait, whoa, hold on a minute. Because in that magical moment that I'm so longing for and that I'm praying for and thinking about and obsessing about, maybe it would behoove me to start walking in the direction that I want to go and know that if we are going to reconnect and rebuild an incredible relationship forward, that I'm at least doing what I can in my own choices and in my own space and place to become a better person that can show up in that moment than just sitting here waiting for you.

Well, with great love and respect, it's the only way you're going to be able to create something new.

New.

I mean, as much as all this longing to have our special person come back to us, let's just really be fair here and honest, what you had, I don't think would be in your greatest interest of either person to create that same version again. What we're all talking about is the potential to create a 2.0 or a 3.0, because if things were going as well as maybe we were kind of, you know, having in our imagination, we probably wouldn't have been in that place to begin with. So there's some really truth telling that's important. Believe me, we're all about wanting this to go well for everyone. I think, hopefully, you know, that if you've been listening to us our whole lives, is family. But there's times where we have to truly turn and face what's truly going on.

Well, even if we do have that magical moment, because we have several clients who do have that magical moment where your partner reaches out of the blue and goes, you know what? Actually, I've been sitting with this a lot and I really want to repair this with you. And it's really a beautiful thing. They have that experience like peaches and herbs sang about back in the 80s, you know, reunited. And it feels so good. And it's incredible. For about two and a half or three weeks. And then the same old challenges that we face before we reunite come trickling back. All the unresolved, unprocessed, misunderstood things of the past start to resurface. So you do have this magical moment, but you have to remember that magical moment is not going to take you into the longevity that you're longing for and hoping for. And so often we become very short sighted by that magical moment. Chances are it's probably not going to happen, just being real and honest with you. But even if it does happen, it still doesn't take you into the places and spaces of longevity for the long haul. But all the things that were misunderstood and not processed within our relationship resurface in what I call another do over, another chance to understand myself and to understand you and to understand us. And if we don't garner the skills and understand the principles with which we need in order to create the longevity, then we're going to find ourselves in an escalated version of what it is we experienced when space and separation was asked for on the front side. Anyway.

So putting this in very, very simple terms, because sometimes that maybe was a little bit.

Well, I'll go back to our metaphor. You waited at the bus stop and by some sheer miracle, five and a half hours later, a bus pulls up at the bus stop and you get on and go, oh my gosh, they have hot chocolate and they have free lunch and they have a nice cozy bed in the back that you can take a nap on because of your long wait of five and a half hours, only to find that the bus doesn't take you in the direction that you want to go. It actually took you in the opposite direction. And you find yourself dropped off at yet another stop further from where it is you wanted to go than you thought originally.

You mean the bus that you got on after that five or five and a half hour wait is actually going in a very different direction with hot.

Chocolate and a lunch and a nice cozy bed?

Well, and I was going to say, before I was so rudely interrupted, which, as you all know, happens a lot here on. On the Love Shack live.

Just kidding.

But really, so the fact that we're taking space and then we realize how much we miss each other. Space in and of itself. I'm not trying to be funny, but that's not going to give us. Yes, we might have a little bit of a bump because absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Right.

But after that wears off, if I'm hearing you correctly, most oftentimes we're going to revert back to and maybe even an escalated version of what was taking place before we had space.

Yeah, because you want to know why? Because every relationship requires skills. We all need skills to be in a successful relationship with our partner. And if space has been requested, I can pretty much guarantee you it's because there's an absence of maybe a specific skill or maybe all the skills, because a lot of us don't have any. So if during that time of space you didn't learn any skills, then you've done nothing. You've done nothing to make the relationship better when you come back. You know what I mean?

And what happens when your emotional back gets pressed against the wall?

What do you mean? Skills go out the window. You're going to go right back to what you've always done. You're going to do, we call it that thing you do. And it's your defensive mechanisms. You're going to slip right back into them. Because when you're having a very emotional, highly charged conversation, that's not. When you pull out the notes and you're like, let's see, what skill do I need to apply here? No, you do the same stuff you've always done. And so. So you're going to get back into the same fights. You're going to have the same issues come up. Because all you did was live in separate places. You didn't do anything to fix the problems that you keep pushing up against. You know, I have a. I've just.

Had a great thought. It'd kind of be like taking your car to the repair shop and just sitting, parking it there, but no one ever worked on it. That's pretty good, isn't it? So, yeah, I'm gonna take it up to the repair shop, but I'm not gonna have everybody. I'm just gonna sit it there and then I'm gonna go back in a month later and it's gonna be all get up, up. Yeah.

And you're gonna drive away and the car's still gonna make that weird noise.

You know, you forgot the hot chocolate in the lunch. Maybe the mechanic didn't work on the car, but he did bring you out a lunch and a little cup. Yeah.

But nothing was truly done. We're trying to just have all of us understand, look it, this space is gonna kind of make everything right. Is a very, very generally accepted misunderstanding about this very difficult place. And this is why you all know we're so passionate about. To help impress upon you that space in and of itself doesn't really do anything.

Well, I think a lot of times we say we need space to, like, look at our thoughts or collect our thoughts or just think about this, the circumstances of what's happening. That's great. You do need to do that. But then you have to stop thinking about your thoughts and do something about it. It's a combination. So, yeah, in the beginning you do need to do that. You need space away to, like Collect yourself and figure out what really happen happened. But then you have to take the action. And that's what most of us don't do. We only think about it, but we don't do anything about it.

So how do you shift from waiting to the renewal of you? Here's some small daily shifts that will help you move forward if by chance you're in a place of space. And they don't need to be huge giant leaps because often we think of these terms and like polar opposites, right? When I'm stuck in limbo, it's either I stay and I wait and so I pull my life over and I shift into what I think is neutral. But neutral is not possible. I hope you know that now. Or I abandon ship, it's over, it's done, it's I lop it off and let go of it and be done with it. File for divorce, move out, do all the things. And I just need you to understand it doesn't have to be a giant leap like this that like we can take small increments towards the direction that it is we want to go without having to make these huge decisions that quite frankly, you're not prepared to make right now anyway. When that decision going to impact your life and very often the lives of others, meaning your children and family and friendships. We want to be in a place of clarity. We want to use very precise intention and skill with which to make such decisions as well. And when we're in a place of unknown and chaos and spiraling in confusion and anxiety, those are not the places we want to be making these big decisions. So it doesn't have to be this huge giant leap. You just need to start shifting your focus focus back to yourself. And here are three simple ways that you can do that. Starting now, right now. The first I'm going to suggest, which I love, is a create a me first morning ritual. So before you reach for your phone in the morning to read your text or your emails, or look at your calendar and see if your partner has texted you back or emailed you anything or responded to you from the night before, I want you to rescind that and start your day instead with exercise that you love and enjoy. Any kind of movement that you love and enjoy, or journaling or meditating or even just making a cup of coffee in silence, very intentionally. That makes you feel good. The smell of it, the sound of it, the taste of it. Start your day by checking in with yourself, not with what your partner is doing or not doing and what they're up to that would be hugely empowering. Just that small little thing. Another idea is whenever you catch yourself over analyzing, you instead reach for something to refocus your mind. I call this a set no over analyzing rule for yourself. When you catch yourself, you know, rereading old text messages, wondering if they're going to reach out, scoping out their social media accounts to see who's liked or not liked or followed them since you last checked it out, instead of doing all of that. And when you catch yourself doing that, refocus your mind on something that may makes you feel better. Like set a time limit and then redirect your focus to something that makes you feel just a little bit better. And the last one is focus on one area of growth that's not about your relationship. Stop trying to figure it out all the time. Give yourself some space to step away from trying to fix and repair and figure out what your partner is doing and not doing. And instead do something that helps you feel a little better, that puts your energy into something that's meaningful for you. For example, a hobby, a project that you keep putting off. Maybe start up something new, learn something new, take a class, get involved in a new arts and crafts project, build or create something with your kids. I know when I was in this space many decades ago, I used to play with my kids. Like it would take me to a different place where we could make necklaces and build forts, sports and play in the mud and run in the trees and you know, do all the things that kids love to do. I could lose myself in that. Of course, I'm, I'm kind of a big kid anyway. So anyway, long story short, give yourself something to focus your mind on. And then in this place and space, it really is important for us to find a support system. Talking to friends and family can feel isolating because they just don't get it. And that's why a community of like minded people going through a similar experience is so powerful. You need to hear from people who truly understand what you're going through and can offer guidance, not just more, you know, move on. Haven't you moved on advice? Because that's not helping. It might even intensify anxiety and guilt and shame around the fact that you don't feel like you're ready to move on yet. That there are some things that I still need to understand and work through in order to be able to move on on. And sometimes we just don't understand that piece. The reason why I can't let go yet is there are still things for me here to understand and learn about myself, about relationships and about my partner. And so often that's just misunderstood by well intended friends and family. And the last one I'm going to share is stop letting their actions define your worth. Your partner's confusion does not mean that you are unworthy of the love. A relationship doesn't define you, you define you. You have all the free will of choice and sometimes we forget this. So I want to invite you right now to take back your power. If you're tired of waiting and feeling stuck, here's the truth. You don't need to wait for your partner to make a decision to start healing and revitalizing yourself. That's exactly why I've created the love and limbo 30 day roadmap. It's not about winning your partner back, it's about breaking free from the spiral of crazy making as well as help you regain some emotional clarity and learn how to move forward with confidence no matter what happens next. Inside this program, you'll learn how to stop obsessing about what your partner is doing and start focusing on the one thing that you do have choice and control over, which is you. We're going to give you the exact steps to regain your emotional stability so that you can live your day to day life life without constant anxiety. I want you to be able to communicate with confidence too without pushing them further away. And we're also going to provide you with life principles that will help you understand why waiting is not the answer and what you can do instead of waiting or while you're waiting. So if you're ready to stop waiting and start rebuilding, join me inside the love and limbo 30 day roadmap. You can go to the link in the show notes to get started. Today it's your time to take back your power one step and one day at a time. Our Follow the Fun Today you sit your butt down and breathe. What a concept. Instead of running around wondering what someone else is doing, how about we get grounded in what you're doing, what you're thinking, what you're feeling. And we can do this simply and easily by just sitting our butt down and breathing as we focus on the rise and fall of our chest. And while you're doing that today, ask yourself what is something that I could do today that would help me just feel better? One thing. One simple thing so that when you're obsessing you can reach for that one thing and then do it. Our song this week is a song by India Irie. It's a song she calls Good Morning. And morning is spelled M O U R. This song is about acceptance. It's about self, love and grace and compassion in these most difficult spaces and places that we can find ourselves in. She says good morning. With acceptance. Good morning. By stepping into a loving moment even though it's strange. And she says it's time for me to live. It's time for me to say good morning. You can listen to this week's song along with our entire relationship playlist by going to our website podcast page or searching it up on Spotify by searching Love Shack Live playlist. I know today was probably a little bit in your face. I think we're all kind of feeling like we need to, like, help you see and understand what waiting actually costs us. It's a price that is paid. We don't get to just pull over and wait and put our lives on hold. Because as human beings, life doesn't work like that. That, and I think so often we don't understand the cost of just waiting. So with all the love and respect in the world, I didn't mean to rub it in your face, but I do want you to understand, like, look, you can't wait here forever. At some point in time, you're going to need to make some choices to live again, regardless of what somebody else in your life that you love dearly is going to choose to do. Because here's the thing, at the end of the day, you deserve to live and be happy too. It matters and it counts because you matter. Thank you so much for spending your time with us here today. It is truly a joy and a pleasure that we provide this content for you. And if you feel like it would benefit somebody in your sphere of influence, please send it along. And we would be so grateful if you did. And if you have something you would like to say or share, questions that you would like to ask us, please don't hesitate to reach out to us and to share those thoughts and feelings that are on your mind. We're here for you. We're walking this journey for you. And we send you off today with all the love in our hearts, knowing and reminding you that, hey, you can wait, but do it with purpose and do it so that you're still continuing to walk in the direction that you want to go in your life today. Bye bye for now. We'll see you back here next week.

All right, it's time to leave the Love Shack. But before we part ways, we want you to know our door is always open and we'll leave the porch light on. Ready to welcome you back whenever you need a dose of relationship wisdom. For more resources and tools, Visit us at loveshacklive.com to dive deeper into the top topics we've explored and find additional support for your relationship journey. Stay connected by subscribing to our podcast. Thank you for being part of our Love Shack Live community.