#221: The 3 Communication Patterns That Are Making Space Worse (And What to Do Instead)

Do you ever feel like you're giving your partner space, but the more space you give, the worse things get? Maybe you're overthinking every word, or maybe you've gone completely silent, terrified that anything you say will just make things worse. You stare at your phone, wondering if one more text will push them away, or, heaven forbid, if staying silent and quiet will send the message that you've given up. Then we scour their social media accounts for any unspoken messages or signs on what they're up to and how they're feeling about life, about you, about what used to be. Here's the thing. Poor communication is the number one predictor of a relationship ending. And during space and separation, those breakdowns become even more painful because you're not just avoiding conflict, you're avoiding conversations with each other. Most couples don't realize that they've fallen into one of three emotional survival patterns that quietly sabotage reconnection, even when they're trying to do everything right. This is Love Shack Live, the show for anyone standing at a relationship crossroads. If your days are filled with second guessing, growing distance, or the quiet ache of what the hell happened to us, you're in the right place. I'm Stacey Bartley, relationship mentor and a guide for people who are tired of guessing and ready to understand what's actually going on beneath the surface. And I'm joined, as always, by my co host and lover, Tom, and our daughter Brooke. In today's episode, we're diving into the three communication patterns we see over and over again with humans attempting to communicate. Communicate with each other and knowing yours might be the difference maker that you've been waiting for. So what's your pattern? And more importantly, what can you do about it?

Hey, thank you for coming. Welcome to the Love Shack.

Let's talk is how it all begins. And then most people fall into emotional survival modes. These show up as patterns in how we communicate. There are actually three communication patterns that show up again and again. If you don't know which one is yours, you're probably making things more difficult than it needs to be. Let's talk about what they are and what you do instead. Let's start with a simple equation. Why is it that space plus emotion equals a communication minefield? That's our topic of conversation today. Because emotional survival mode is something that you need to be aware of. How are you coping? What's the pattern? We're going to step into control collapse. We're going to step into the three patterns that we see again and again and again to Help our listener, right here, right now, understand that survival mode, fight, flight, or freeze doesn't just show up in our bodies. It shows up in our words or sometimes the lack of them. If you want connection, but you don't want to push, you want to say something, but you also want to be kind and respectful. You want clarity and understanding, but you don't want to rock the boat. So you either attempt to control or collapse or cycle between the two. These aren't personality flaws. They're actually emotional default survival patterns that affect our communication. So let's talk about each one. I bet each of us, too can help our listener see our own patterns in these places and spaces. And then you'll be able to identify with us what yours is too, and probably your partner's as well. So let's talk about the controller, shall we?

Do we have any one of those amongst us three?

I mean, maybe me, maybe a teeny tiny bit. A controller is a person who, at the sweetheart end of the day, their message is, all right, we have a problem, let's address it, let's fix it, let's go, let's get busy. I want to see things happen. So I'm going to be the person. And it's true, on our team, I absolutely am the controller. So. So I'm going to get a little pushy for answers. Clarity, resolution. I'm ready to talk about it now. Doesn't really matter where you are. Come on, come on, come on. Let's just lay the stuff on the table. I probably, if anything, over communicate. And I would be the person in this space where I would send too many check in texts, not because I'm feeling anxious, but because I want to see things change. So I'm also the person that would go to. Have you read this book? How about check out this podcast? Have you taken this quiz? So I'm probably going to be the one that's out there doing all the research to try and, like, figure out what the problem is and it's genuine. I really want to be of support and some help, but, man, can I get a little pushy, a little demanding. I might even turn into a little bit of a know it all. Because I've done the research, I've read the books, I've listened to podcasts. I know what the heck is going on, so don't be telling me. And if I were to take it to an extreme, I would also be the person who would start to label things and tell other people what they are, because after all, I've done all the research. I know I'm the one that's out there doing it. I just want us to get better. I want to help, I want us to move on. I want us to figure this out.

Can see the potential. And I would say probably a lot of controllers are, they see where you can go, they know where you've been in the past and they want to get back to that. So it can seem like, God, you're being so pushy or why are you saying this? But it's really coming from that place where you're like, no, I see the path. And I know if you do this, we're going to get to that place.

And this is going to be so great. Come on, it's going to be amazing. And I want to hurry. I was like, hurry, hurry, hurry, let's get there. Like, I see the path, let's go. And then I, as I've said before, will go, charge. We're going to go there, we're going to do it. Come on. Just hang on. And then, you know, you get down the road a couple of paces and realize you're the only one there. Like, people, what happened? I don't get it. And that becomes so heartbreaking and so disappointing. For those who are going, we can do this.

I can say for someone who is maybe like, if one of the partners is struggling with their mental health and the one is like that, you know, where they're so excited and they feel so inspired and motivated and they're so happy, it can be really intimidating to confess, like, hey, I'm not feeling the same way or I'm feeling really depressed or I'm feeling really anxious and that's why I'm not able to meet you where you're at, because it seems like, you know, you're on top of the world and you can conquer anything and you don't have anything wrong with you and you just know how to do everything and I don't. So if you're in a relationship where talking about that kind of thing isn't available, the collapser, who we're going to talk about next, can just fade away. And the controller's like, what the fuck? Where did you go? Because they're not having that conversation and they can't see the struggle inside of the other one. You know, it can feel, even though the controller can feel just as wobbly and just as shaky kneed because they just, they just show up in a different way. That can be very intimidating.

Yeah, it's so true. And they're saying, let's do this, and you're at this, and I've got it all figured out and I know the way and just hold on, let's go. It also can be so dismissive. And on the controller side, it's so disappointing to think I see so much about what's possible. Why is it that just won't take my hand and let me show us the way? So you start to see the heartbreak and disappointment and the frustration, I hope, on both sides of this equation.

And I always point this out, but most of the time, the controller and the collapser have spoken nothing about it. Neither of them have shared those deep feelings we're talking about. They've just made up stories about the other person.

You know, that's so true. The controller is going to say, I just need to explain and say one more thing to get you to get it. I'm just sure if I change the way I'm presenting this information, it's going to finally click for you and you're going to see the light and you're going to feel so much better without realizing. No, actually, the nuanced place is I just need to understand what you're feeling and what you're experiencing. And that's really hard for a controller to kind of like set down all the tools and information and research and possibility and potential that they see to go, maybe I don't have it all figured out. Maybe I just need to listen to you where you are. And I just really want to point out that as we go through these three places, there is one that is not superior or inferior to the other. Because we can think we are so superior in my knowledge, in my ability to take action and my ability to make things happen. It can be so frustrating from this controller viewpoint that if you would just take my hand, I've got it all figured out and it will be so seamless. I am superior. I do know the way. And that can get us in a lot of trouble, because I'm going to say this again, there is no superior or inferior in this whole dynamic. In these patterns, they're different ways based on logical good reason why we cope in these emotional places the way that we do. And if we understood why I go where I go, it would make so much sense. And there's a lot of balance in each place. I can't get into that in this podcast, but when we come together privately and in our weekly classes, like, there are gifts on each side of the ways that we cope in these patterns that are very contributive to the whole. In my particular case as a controller, I'll ensure that movement continues to be part of the process. But sometimes moving too fast is a problem. Sometimes in my effort to get to the next step very fast, I'm missing a lot of things that need to be looked at and understood and talked about. That would be a contribution from somebody who is more of a collapser type of a pattern person. Does that make sense? If I'm just going to go charge, I know the way, follow me, I'm going to turn around and there's not going to be anybody behind me because I'm missing a lot of parts and pieces. I'm thinking about step Z and I know we can get there and I'm totally dialed in and focused on step Z. But what I'm overlooking is like steps A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N.

O, P. Yeah, I think it's the perfect description of balance. Right. And it's wonderful. But remember, we have to allow passions for others to step in and share that as well. Passion is very tricky because we think our passion is the best passion and it applies to everybody and it's not how it works. So that's why it's a very slippery slope for all of us. It really is.

Well, and just want to say one thing. My Uncle Woody always says, what hurts the most can't be seen. And that couldn't be more true in this conversation. Because when you're anxious or depressed, it's very hard for you to do the things that your partner probably thinks are simple. Like just even maybe putting your socks in the hamper.

Very well said.

When. So all of that pain and turmoil and self beat up that you're just, you know, you are thinking that about yourself. The one that's mentally ill is thinking, I'm a piece of shit because I can't even put my socks in the hamper. But your partner doesn't know any of the turmoil that's happening inside of you unless you verbally share it. And a lot of times we don't. So then both people are making up that shitty story about each other and they both become the villains in each other's stories. It's just, it's so frustrating that we let all of this stuff go unsaid in our partnerships because it creates so many walls between us that we then have to like, do so much work to take down and we don't even have the skills to do it. But this controller collapse or dynamic is so important to understand because the thing that you think is annoying in your partner is really just because you don't understand where they're coming from.

And if we are more of so a controller, just so we're clear, deals with emotional challenge. Like when my emotional back is pressed against the wall, I'm going to get busy. That's how I'm going to poke it. I'm going to approach it from fixing it. So I'm going to be the person who's researching solutions late into the night, trying to find the right thing to say or right thing to do or the thing I need to do in order to keep us in motion. And that's just what served me. That's what I relate to. That's what I do when I feel emotionally pressed upon.

And to be fair, I think societally and the general narrative out there is that's viewed more positively even when we're struggling. Yeah, but what we're trying to let you know is, look, there's no superior inferior position here. We're just simply helping you understand and identify. Here's what we've seen because we've worked with a lot of people that have been going through this place. So it gives you a baseline of understanding of where you're at and where your partner's at.

I was probably raised where I needed to figure things out on my own. I had to be exceptionally independent. I had to make stuff happen on my own accord because there wasn't any support or help coming otherwise. So you learn to adapt to that. Right. And learn that, okay, well, if I'm going to do life, then I got to figure this stuff out on my own. And that's generally where a control, type of a coping skill comes from. So when it gets challenging, I've got to dig myself out of a hole. So I got to get busy. So let's step into the collapser conversation. Because a collapser had the same emotional experiences. But to speak up or to say something in my family, where I grew up might have been like curtains. What I learned to do when I was struggling emotionally and my back was pressed against the wall is to fly under the radar. Nobody really knew what I was thinking and feeling, and nobody really knew what I was up to because I did poke my head above the radar, so to speak.

Well, for me, I'm a collapser. And the reason why I became one, I feel like I'm becoming a bit more of a controller. It was because there was a bit of Jekyll and Hyde in my house growing up, where I didn't know which way my mom was gonna be showing up emotionally. So I learned that if I kind of was just very behind the scenes and kind of low profile, didn't have a lot of needs, didn't have a lot of requests, then that was better, and it kept the peace and everything was good. Now I realize how much that doesn't serve me in adulthood because, like, when there was conflict between me and Jack, I would initially leave. I would just walk away. And we all know that doesn't really do anything to solve your issues, but it kept the peace for a minute. That's another reason why people become collapsers is not necessarily because if they do say something, they'll get their head torn off, but maybe they've realized that if they say nothing, it keeps the conflict out of their house. You know, if you just kind of fade into the background, things seem to be okay.

Yeah, well, I mean, the sweetheart message of a collapser is, can't we just all get along? Do we have to make this a big deal? Let's not turn this into some drama, okay? Let's just all calm down and, and slow down and think about what it is we're doing. Like, that's the beautiful message of a collapser. A controller wants to fix things, right? They want solutions, they want answers, they want to work it out. A collapser, they're just like, come on, let's just have a nice evening in and, you know, get along and, you know, chill out. And how I arrive at doing those things is when my emotional back gets pressed against the wall, I'm going to shut down. I'm going to de escalate instead of ramp up in activity. And I want you to see, it's the difference between going up in our emotional experience, like revving up or shutting down, going quiet, going within. You know, as human beings, we do these things every day, but we do have a favorite that we reach for commonly as a pattern. And so I'm going to amp up and Brooke's going to close down. She's going to slow down and go, come on, let's not turn this into something. The beautiful thing about a collapser is in that shutting down, they really do just want harmony. And we love that, especially if I'm a controller and I'm going to fall in love with somebody who's a collapser, because then we have a better chance of creating balance. We keep motion going, but we also don't get stuck in not getting anywhere.

You're saying I'm a collapser.

Where do you think I learned my collapsing from? Of course you're a collapser.

You had to create harmony, honey.

No, sad. There's times when I can display either one of them, you know, But I.

Definitely think you are more because that was what you did when I was in our younger years. You didn't want to make waves so you just kind of pretended like you had zero needs.

I look calm on the top and my freaking legs were going like 800 miles an hour below the water.

Yeah. So that's what a collapser does. Emotionally, they shut down, they avoid conflict communication altogether, Fears conflict or making things worse. They often think that what's the point? Nothing I say or do seems to help, which is the defeatist part of it. I try and love and give and serve and be kind and be calm and nothing seems to work. So maybe you're someone who goes silent not because you don't care, but because you're afraid one more conversation will end things or break you up. And when you really think about it, collapsers carry a lot of emotional weight and overwhelm in the relationship. There's so many things that they wish they would have the opportunity to say or share or do, but they carry it because they actually do care so much. And I think sometimes that's a surprising reality of controllers that are going, come on, just tell me how you feel, let's work this out, what's the deal? You know, we can fix this. And they're like, you know, I'm just going to carry this because I'm afraid if I say what I really want to say, that it's going to impact us so greatly that it's going to hurt you, it's going to hurt your feelings, it's going to devastate us, there's not going to be any recovery, you know. And so they hold often because they don't know how to say what they need to say with some skill and in a way that it can genuinely be seen as a contribution and not an attack. That's how I'll hold it. They usually carry a lot of experiences or memory from things being done in a place where when somebody finally said what they really needed to say, it blew things sky high, you know, so I'll sit on it because I love and care about you. And sometimes the longer I sit on it is the more I love and care about you. Right. So it's not again, not superior and fear. I think we said that probably three or four times. Now, but I just really want to impress upon. You would think that the controller is like, where it's at. We make shit happen. Yes. And there's an expense there where I'm dismissing and dismantling and essentially moving so fast. I'm not slowing down long enough to have the conversations that I need to have. Nor am I doing a very good job of making it safe to have those conversations that are being missed along the way. Because I'm so focused on Z, I'm forgetting or negating conversations of helping people come along with me.

Yeah, I was gonna say, it doesn't usually evoke a really welcoming energy, especially if you're on the collapse side of this process, if you will. It's like a freight train coming in or a bulldozer. You know, we'll maybe bring that up at a later time. Because what I'm feeling now, there's no room for it. So it's almost an overwhelming energy, you know, and so you think, ah, I'm good. I'll just stuff it down a little bit and we'll keep on going.

Which just comes out then later. These cycles are cyclic, so the more I stuff it, the more I'm setting myself up to hit a tripwire some point in time where it's gonna all come out, where a collapser will go to the closet and pull out their bat of truth, man, when that happens, like, sit down, it's gonna be a minute. And they got a lot to say. And it's really good stuff. It's just they've sat on it for so long, it's gonna come out.

Whole lot of whoop ass coming out.

A lot of whoop ass coming out really fast. And then they're like, oh, my gosh, I can see the horror on the faces of the people that I love. Puts me into that cycle of shutting down again, where a controller will push and push and push. They know the way. And then they get so exhausted because nobody's following or coming along and they can't figure it out. And then they implode on themselves and think, oh, my gosh, they turn like.

The little child that hasn't had a nap in a while.

Just lose it, have a meltdown and collapse anyway in a puddle of tears, usually, or a fit of rage. And then we can all kind of go, all right, all right, all right, what are we doing? Those are the two most common, but there is actually a third. We call it the drifter. And the drifter flips between pushing and withdrawing. And given the day or the circumstance or the situation. They can be pushy or they can collapse, and sometimes it can be intensely avoidant or they even think they know everything. So it is this, this combo of control and collapse called the Drifter. And it's going to be based on a circumstantial piece that's playing out in any given moment.

So environment is going to oftentimes.

Gotcha. So this is a person who comes from a family of origin, where sometimes it's important to know when to collapse and get the hell out of Dodge. And sometimes it's important for me to know where it is. I need to make stuff happen because there's nobody there to help me do it. I can cycle through these things in any given circumstance or any given moment. In fact, circumstances are going to very much dictate how I'm going to navigate this. I don't necessarily have a favorite. It's going to be dependent upon the circumstances playing out right now. And so I can pull from control and collapse as I need to. I'm very adaptive. Like, I'm exceptionally adaptive. You can put me in any environment and I'm going to figure out how to navigate through it. Sometimes I can be the grounding force as a controller and say, come on, let's slow down. Let's just, you know, let's just kind of figure this out. And I can also be the person that goes, charge. And again, what's going to dictate that is the environment in what it's asking of me right now. And then I will, in the moment's notice, decide how it is I'm going to adapt and go. What's sad about this particular place is I feel like I'm crazy because there's no real consistency to anything I do. So I might be a person who, like, lays out this incredible plan about how I'm going to do something and then it goes well for a couple of days until the environment changes, and then I'm doing just the opposite.

And you're frustrated about, why can't I just do it like I did last time? Or why is this going so differently? Or, you know, why can't I control myself so that I can be. Yeah, I totally see that.

Yeah. I'm saying. And doing things that don't feel like me, sometimes I'm doing just the opposite. So you're walking on what we call emotional eggshells, and one moment you're reaching out and the next you're ghosting. You're going missing. Like, I'm not going to talk to them again. And it's not because you don't care. It's just because you're overwhelmed in the confusion and the ca. Chaos. And I feel better controlling. And I know the answers, and I feel inspired, and I know the way. But then, you know, the next morning I wake up and I'm now avoiding ghosting, can't follow the plan. And so I feel a tremendous amount of confusion and chaos inside of myself. But the sweetheart message is that you're highly adaptable. Like, we could put you in any environment and in any situation, and you would be able to, like, decide what it is you needed to do. You're really kind of the MacGyver in the relationship space. You know, I just want to give it a. There's an upside to these and a downside to each of these. So do any of these feel uncomfortably familiar to you? Because here's the truth. Every single person will default to one of these. And knowing yours can change everything. And again, my last time, I swear I'm going to say this. There isn't any one that's superior, inferior to the other. Like, we learn these things from a place of being brilliant. We've had to learn how to emotionally adapt and live through environments, places and spaces where we didn't have any control over the environment itself. We just had to learn how to cope in it. We came up with some creative strategies to help us get from point A to point B. Whatever you chose on these patterns, I'm going to say bravo. It's brought you to this moment where we're having this conversation, and we can look at these things head on, square on. And that's a beautiful thing. If it's not serving you right now and it's creating challenges for you right now, okay, that's great. But the easier time I'm going to have in seeing those things is if I don't judge and criticize myself for the pattern that I might be in, then I can bring it and as. As an ally, and I can understand and see it for what it is. And I, being the human being that I am, can create something different with different skills and principles and understandings. I can take this and give it an upgrade. So have to be stuck in this one pattern of survival. So I've got to learn and understand what it is, and then I need to learn and understand where I would like to become proficient instead. Because there are benefits and challenges in each of these patterns.

So it helps us with a starting point.

Yeah, I've got to Start where I am, right? What am I currently doing? And if I look at that, then I can learn from that. And then it's going to show me where it is I need to go next.

So this is for those of the listeners, you know, just help me understand and listener, like. Because if you've listened to us for any period of time, like, well, maybe, Stacy, I know you're not really a label person. So how is this different, these three different patterns, different than, say, all the different labels we hear out there? Is that fair enough question?

Yeah. What we're labeling here is a way of behavior. And the reason why I'm not a label fan is because when we label something, we think that's all we are. So I'm suggesting to you that if I can see the pattern of what I am currently doing, I can change that pattern of what I'm currently doing much easier. It's not a place you arrive or a thing that you are. You're way more dynamic than that. But if I can assess where I am living right now, then it's going to help me see and understand what it is I would like to get better at so that I can work on that. Because I'm not a stagnant thing as a human being. So, for example, you guys tell me I am a controller. Like, that is my go to. We are going to get shit handled, and we're going to do it right now. And I'm going to. I love reading. I love researching. I love science.

We're getting a lot of. Brooke and I are getting a lot of love now, aren't we? Oh, my God. I never realized what Brooke and Tom had to deal with.

And the thing that I am consistently striving to add to my ability is more balance and slowing down. Letting go of what I think the answer is and learning about where the person I'm having a conversation is, that's more important than what I think, right? It's more important for me to understand where they are so I can find better balance. I have this natural skill, but there are times it becomes out of balance. So if I can learn to essentially collapse and slow down a little bit, I can feel more balance not only within myself, but within my relationships as a whole. Whereas my husband Tom, you know, he shuts down and then we've gotta. We've gotta say, it's okay, you're safe. Tell me, let's go, let's do something. Let's figure this out. Let's make some changes happening. And he's Finding more balance in that not. But when we understand these patterns, I want you to see how it empowers Tom and I to work together much more effectively. Right.

And it gives you a window into each other, you know, that you didn't have before. If you wouldn't have come at it from this angle, you would just be like, why can't you see it like I see it? Which isn't effective.

Yes, absolutely. And so this is the opportunity a label says, this is who I am. Seeing a pattern tells me this is where I am. So, great question. This is an opportunity for you to see your patterns and to understand where you currently are. It's kind of like finding your place on the map. Well, there I am now. Where do I want to go from here? Let me just understand it and then I can make some choices and decisions that will really serve me with clarity and conviction and understanding. And so this is something that we're wanting to help you do, not only in this podcast, but I also want you to know that actually Brooke and I. More so Brooke has spent a lot of time in creating a separation communication playbook and self assessment for you as the bridge between I have no idea what the heck I'm doing and now I understand what I need to do next. You're going to find a short self assessment that tells you exactly which pattern you fall into, plus real doable strategies to help you stop making things worse and start creating clarity and connection. So I'm going to invite you to take advantage of this playbook at a ridiculous price. Like, we could charge a lot of money for this, but that's not what we're about here. Right? We've seen so many people try to do space the right way, but completely miss how their emotional survival patterns are hijacking the conversation. This is why we've created this playbook. It's not just about what to say, it's about how you're showing up and saying it. And you can get it for nine bucks. What? Yeah, nine dollars. I know it's ridiculous, but that's how we want to empower you. Like, come on, spend the $9, figure this out. And when you do get this space and separation comm communication playbook plus the assessment for $9. By the way, you can just click the link in this episode description. You're going to absolutely be able to see your pattern and it's going to help you understand maybe some next best steps that you can take in order to start to create more balance or to understand your partner in New and profound ways say it's going to help.

Connect the dots, as we like to say.

One. So don't miss it. Nine bucks.

Not going to be a smart alec, but I know you can afford it because I see you in the coffee line every day. I mean, to be fair, I mean, come on, let's just be real here, right? Come on. So this isn't.

Last time we went to Starbucks, I paid $9 because I wanted extra cream.

You guys know we want to help you and nothing happens unless we can get some momentum going out of where you're at and, and some forward pops in the emotional gas tank. Really, that's just all we're about. And most people in space and separation hang out there way, way, way too long. It just happens and then there's no possibility to create transformation because most people, average couple, wait six years before they do anything, even after they know they need help. So don't do that. Take a step, get this playbook and go through it and work it.

So let's have a little fun.

Yes, indeed.

I'm going to offer you up what I call the Tantrum Tamer 3000.

That sounds like a toy.

I know.

That's a damn good title, right? Tantrum Tamer. Give that to little Johnny. Looks like honey 3000 kids too.

It is. This is really good for kids too. What I'm going to invite you to do today is design your own tantrum protocol. Here's how it rolls. Include one ridiculous step. Okay, ideas? Stomping like a dinosaur, perhaps? Throwing yourself on the sofa. Beating a pillow. One body move. Something like that. So one ridiculous step. Two, add in some jumping jacks. Three, splat yourself on the floor like a starfish. So that's my protocol. And I'm going to do like five rounds of that. Then I get back up, I stomp like a dinosaur, I do five jumping jacks and then I splat myself out on the floor like a starfish. Splat. So it could be anything. You're just putting three body movements together. Your choice, your selection. I personally like the like stomp around, right? Get loud and proud and then beat something or do something like a push up and then just, you know, throw myself on the bed. And I will say this works for kids and grownups too. So when you've just had enough, The Tantrum Tamer 3000 can really help you.

In fact, while you're doing it, it film yourself and then tag us and show us.

I would love to see you do the Tantrum Tamer 3000. Babe, I think that'd be really fun. We'll post it on our socials. What a great idea.

The Tantrum Tamer 3000 love it.

All right, our song for today's episode as we wrap up is.

Gotta watch this video Stacy showed me. Oh, my God.

Hauser. If you don't know who Hauser is, he's a cellist. And his video.

Oh, this is.

And he has a song called Desert Rose. And when we're in this place of space and separation, we feel like we're in the desert, don't we? We can see visions of what it is we really want and what we'd like to experience in our relationships. But sometimes, in spite of our best efforts, we can't seem to actually have it or experience it or touch it. And this song called Desert Rose just does such a fantastic job, not only musically visually, of depicting that experience. Well, check it out. You can do that by checking out our Spotify account at Love Shack Live playlist or going to our website, staceybartley.com and hitting the podcast page. There's a list of all of our songs from every episode that we've ever done.

Quite a few.

Enjoy it. Thank you so much for spending time with us today. We look forward to seeing you back here next week, ready to dive into even more strategies to support you and your relationships with yourself and others. Thank you for spending some time with us. And if by chance you have any questions or thoughts or shares like the version of the Tantrum 3000, don't hesitate to reach out to us. We love to hear from our listeners. Have a wonderful week. Take care. We'll see you soon.

All right, it's time to leave the Love Shack, but before we part ways, we want you to to know our door is always open and we'll leave the porch light on. Ready to welcome you back whenever you need a dose of relationship wisdom. For more resources and tools, visit us atlove shack live.com to dive deeper into the topics we've explored and find additional support for your relationship journey. Stay connected by subscribing to our podcast. Thank you for being part of our Love Shack Live community.

Sa.