#34: Love Hurts: How To Use Physical Pain To Navigate Your Emotional Pain

Foreign.

Hey, thanks for coming. Welcome to the Love Shack.

Hey, welcome to the Love Shack, a little old place where we get to get together, explore fresh perspectives and eavesdrop on juicy conversations and uncover the mysteries that nobody talks about but absolutely influences our relationships. If by chance you are struggling in your marriage, just starting out in a new relationship, or are single and know you gotta do better next time, this is a great place for you to spend a little time with us. I'm Stacy Bartley, and I am here with my wonderful lover and co host, Tom. For generations. Well, not generations. For a decade, we've been loving on people from around the world with the sole purpose of creating more love and less fear in the world. We want you to be successful at this relationship journey. So I'm going to invite you to right now take a pause, grab your favorite beverage, and gift yourself a little bit of time with us today.

Absolutely. And a shout out to our listeners, number one, thank you. So you're gifting your most precious resource to us, which is our. Your time, wherever that happens to be. Just a reminder, housekeeping wise. I'm kind of the radar of our team here. I'm kind of a detail, kind of a guy. We're doing everything we can to meet you wherever you are and make it really convenient. So we are live every Thursday on our awesome station up in Seattle, KKNW 11:50am and at the same time, through the powers of technology, we are streaming. That's amazing. I still kind of geek out on that to our YouTube channel and our Facebook pages, and those are both called Love Shack Live show. And then it's uploaded to all the podcast directories. So wherever you are again, thank you so much for spending some time, your most precious resource with us. It's always our intent to give you something to take away to put into your life. But hopefully, yeah, at some point in time, what we're doing here will impact generations.

I like that. I like that. Well said. So today we have a really important conversation, and in the spirit of full disclosure, this is something I'm super passionate about. We have invited a special guest to be with us. Her name is Sakura Sutter. And when I first learned of her story and then had the privilege and honor of meeting with her, I'm like, oh, we've got to have her on the show, because this is one of my favorite things to talk about. We're going to be talking about our emotional bodies today, and I know you're probably going, what the. The heck is that, Stace? I Know you're always pulling something out of your pocket or coming at me from left ball. But our emotional bodies are real and they're amazing, and we don't talk about them very often. And so her story fits so eloquently into the realities of our emotional body that I'm so excited to have her on later in the show. For the heart of the matter, if you're like most of us, myself included, before I learned and do the work that I do, we struggled with the challenges of love and relationships. Most of us experienced experience, pain and heartache. You know, we can make up all kinds of horrible stories about why they go the way that they go. And sometimes, heck, that relationship with myself, I wonder sometimes why I do the things I do to myself. And this seems to be a human experience. I can almost guarantee that wherever we are in this relationship journey, we've not been given the whole story when it comes to our emotional bodies. So when we feel emotional pain, most of us are equipped with one, maybe two responses to the whole experience. And the first one, it would be run right, shut it down, do whatever you can do to, like, get rid of it. And the second would be to drowned in it. I don't. I don't know what else to do, but I'm just stuck. I'm drowning. I. I feel like I can't get out of this emotional pain. And so it's time for us to have the conversation that, yes, us human beings, we have a physical body and we have an emotional body. And while we give all of this wonderful attention to our physical bodies, it's usually our emotional body that gets kind of get kicked to the curb. It's something that's time has come to really dive deep into. Let's be honest. Our emotional bodies are fluid. They're invisible. They change easily. They're very dynamic. And at the core of it all, at the heart of it all, they're the thing that give us purpose, meaning. They're the experiences of being alive as a human being we wouldn't want to miss. And if it wasn't for our emotional bodies, we wouldn't have that experience. So, as I've already mentioned, we have a special guest to help us have this conversation. I want to tell you just a little bit about her story because it's so wonderful. I want to get you excited, as excited as I am. A few years ago, Sakura was on the brink of death, literally. And she had a rare autoimmune disorder which forced her into healing herself, especially the part that made her feel like she didn't fit in, that she was different, that it wasn't going to be accepted. Essentially, it was the fear of all of this that made her sick. Sakura had to learn to care for and love herself again, like so many of us do, because we don't talk about this, we don't share this. She is, I believe, to be the perfect person to help us understand the realities of our emotional bodies through her experience. So I hope you're on the edge of your seat because I'm super excited for this. We're going to be right back in a moment and we're going to start out where all great conversations begin with what are you drinking? Come on, grab that beverage. I'll see you in a minute.

Are you tired of sitting on a couple's counselor's couch and feeling like you're just rehashing the past, making no progress? Do you feel like you're holding on to your relationship but panicked you're losing your partner? It's time to learn how to deepen your connection, finally resolve the arguments that keep coming up. Understand yourself and your partner and create the level of intimacy you've been dreaming of. It's time for love to tingle your toes again. Schedule your private session with Relationship Experts expert stacy bartley@stacybartley.com checkup.

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Giving local voices a chance to shine. Alternative Talk 1150.

Welcome back everybody. We are your host Tom and Stacy Bartley, hosts of Love Shack Live. Always excited to be here. Our favorite day of the week actually really, really awesome. We have our Eric, writer, engineer, extraordinaire at the helm. Spaceship was that starship Enterprise they used to call that.

Yeah. And we have a special guest, special.

Guest, absolutely secure, Sakura Sutter. So I won't take a lot of time, because if I do, I might talk a lot, and I don't get a lot of those opportunities.

And Sakara will be dealing or joining us? Not dealing. She'll be joining us for the heart of the matter here in a minute. But first of all, we got to do what you drink. And because all really great conversations begin with that. Think about it. When you invite somebody over, right, you're inviting them over, and your first thing that comes out of my mouth, I know, is, hey, you want something to drink? You know, even if it's water, cup of tea? What can I get you? Our conversations as human beings happen around beverage and food. And so Tom and I wanted to incorporate this as we join in the Love Shack today. And we want to hear what you're drinking, too. So if you want to use the hashtag what you drink and take a picture of what you're drinking, share with us. Let's do this together. And if we can inspire you. We are drinking always, probably something sparkly, because we believe that sparkly is set aside for celebrations, and we want to correct that. So it's always a day to celebrate.

So what are we drinking, Mrs. Bartley?

Well, I gotta show you the bottle first, because if you ever want a wonderful gift for somebody. This is so beautiful.

And we'll describe it as well.

Yeah, we've drank a little bit of it, so you can see that there's not so much in the bottle right now, but it's a rose sparkling right out of Italy. Verona, to be specific.

Just to assure everybody, we've got a lot in our glasses right now, too, so we're fully coherent right now.

Yeah. Yeah, that's probably a good point. And I love wine because it always comes with a story. And the story about how it was created, how they produce the grapes, where it comes from, how it's how they process it. And this particular experience is no different. The sparkling, it comes out of Verona, Italy. And Giuseppe Beretta was back in the seventh century, the one that created the villa that still exists today with the winery as well. It's very historic. He was the mayor of Verona as well as he was a poet. Now, I know you guys are dying for me to share a poem from.

The poet hanging on our edge of.

Our seats, but I couldn't find one.

I searched and searched. We've lost half our audience.

Yeah. And the interesting thing about this is now, generations later, Cecilia is the name of the daughter from the Pesquette family who owns the winery to this day. And so it fits so nicely. Cecilia Beretta. You can pick this up at Trader Joe's anywhere you have a Trader Joe's here in the state. And if you're out of the state, you can go to the Cecilia Beretta website and you can actually purchase a bottle. And gosh, it's under 10 bucks. It's the best Prosecco ever. Really close to our Costco brand that we love. All right, so enough of that. It's time to spread some fun. And we do this because relationships often overlook the fun aspects of our relationships, and we've got to stop that. So we practice every time we meet in the love shack here every week. Today, our follow the fun tip is a surprise. We all love a surprise, don't we? Oh, yeah. And today, it's in the form of something physical. So I want to bait you a little bit there. As much as we say we don't like surprises, we really do. It's true. And surprises can be anything from an act of kindness or service. But today I want to talk about the physical aspect of things, because, you know, we love those kinds of things as a human being. Physical makes sense to us. We can wrap our head around it. So the physical aspects of giving a surprise to somebody can be big and small. But what I wanted to point out is the difference between a gift and a present. A present is something that you give somebody because you want them to have it. A gift is something you know they want. And so just ask yourself, in your relationships right now with the people that you care about the most, do you give gifts typically, or do you give presents? Now, I can tell you that Tom is really good about giving gifts. And his typical surprise to me out of the blue from time to time is, believe it or not, a pack of Orbit gum. Peppermint. Can't find it everywhere, but when he does, he always picks me up a pack that's a gift because he knows I want it, I like it, and it delights me when I receive it. I typically give a present, and what I typically surprise Tom with is clothing. And I know that's pretty boring. But Tom refuses to go to the store and buy the clothes for himself. So I buy him what he needs as a present, and he typically surprises me with a gift. Now, there is no right or wrong here. What I want to impress upon you today in our Follow the fun moment is to just put some thought in regards to, are you giving this because it's something you want somebody to have, or are you giving this because you know this is something that they want? Just food for thought. But wherever you are in this follow the fun moment, surprise somebody today, even if it's maybe yourself, it feels really good.

And we're gonna. We're gonna get real, real physical, too, because today is the first Thursday of the month.

And that's our giveaway. For those of you who are on the fun list, you are going to receive a pack. I'm going to show you.

No, no, no, not everyone that's on the fun list. Someone that we choose off.

That's a good clarification. I'm going to show this right here. But for those of you who are living via podcast, this is a pack of our conversation cards. And there's 52 cards on this deck. And to start incredible conversations that promote connection in your relationships, all you got to do is pull a card.

Let me just give a little real quick backstory on this. So many times our clients, you know, say, okay, Stacy and Tom, I understand. I need to start sharing myself. I need to start having more conversations. But literally, they would ask us. I don't know what to say. I don't know what question I would ask. If we had a dollar for every time we're asked, that we would be very wonderfully prospero as we are. We are very prosperous. But at any rate, my point there is. So we literally created a deck. So very simple. You put your electronic devices down, look at each other, and pick a card. It's literally that simple.

Yeah. And we have one coming to a lucky winner on our fun list that you can start enjoying this fun, too. If you're not on our fun list, get on there. For next month, we'll be doing another giveaway. The first show of every month. The first Thursday of every month. So, Eric Writer, our wonderful extraordinaire at the helm, I need you to pick a random number just so it's not canned. Everybody, everybody knows that we want to be authentic here. Pick us a number between 1 and 100, my friend, and you can come back onto the video.

We love to see one in 100. Yeah. How about 57 Heinz? 57.

57.

I love 57. So go ahead and count down right there. Okay.

So we're not going to read the.

Whole email, but it's a first name, Carol. And the email is carolblankgmail.com. so, Carol, you have the cards coming your way. If you will, please reach out to us. Reach out to us.

Provide us a shipping address. We will be the recipient of a wonderful box of conversation cards for connection. How about that?

I love it. And people who use them love it. I love it. We still use them. Yes, they're really fun when you get stuck. So to wrap up this follow the fun moment, I have to just ask this question. We get stuck because there's nothing to be done. Is that the truth? Or do we get stuck because we won't allow ourselves to try something different? This is something different. Surprise yourself today. So, babe, I know I kind of hacked the show and talk a lot, etc. Etc. So we've given you your own little piece. Now I guess I'm gonna have to shut up and let you do Tom's Tantalizing Moment. Foreign.

Love that intro. I feel like I'm getting ready to be on NBC Nightly News. Ladies and gentlemen, Tom's Tantalizing tip.

So no, I.

Again, I shared last week. I, I just. Gus. We say Gus in our body of work. We say Gus God, universe and spirit, just so we can do our best to encompass everyone. Wherever you are on that spectrum, I always like to say, seems to be something that kind of keeps the planets from kind of running into each other. I'm not sure what it is. Way above my pay grade. But anyway, Tom's tantalizing tip is resilience. Think about resilience. And, and we need some of that right now. Yeah, I'll share with you. Had me tomorrow will be two weeks to the day that I had knee replacement. Long time. Everyone says, oh, that's too bad. No, no, it's great. Darn's knee was flat. Wore out anyway. So I just marvel at the body's ability to. To rebuild, to begin again, you know. And also we all know, I think most of the community, as far as full healing, recognizes, you know, just what we're talking about today. Again, I love the synergy of the emotional part and the physical part, you know, so resilience, it's a very rich word. So just did a little, little Google search. Yes, thank you. Investigation Google searches. Resilience is the ability to withstand adversity and bounce back from difficult life events. Again, this was a planned event. All in the spirit of full disclosure. What Stacy, like, and I like to say last week at this point in time, actually Friday after the show through, like Sunday or Monday, this physical event literally kicked myself.

Your tendency, your. Your resilience was tested.

It was very much tested, as well as my pma, my positive mental attitude. But any rate, so being resilient does not mean that people don't experience stress, emotional upheaval and suffering. Some people equate resilience with mental toughness. But demonstrating resilience includes working through emotional pain and suffering.

Yeah, it's not about being tough. It's not about pushing it aside. It's about.

It's working through that. You know, I always believe that. Look, we're, you know, we're given opportunities to. To work through, and then that hopefully builds a more solid, bigger foundation below us to become a better version of ourself. And then I like these. These are the five pillars that we. I saw that I really like the, of resilience. Number one, self awareness.

Okay, now if I could just kind of jump in here for a minute, see what's happening.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Tom's tantalizing tip and Stacy's nuggets amongst our listeners.

Hey, just kind of reflect where you are with each of these five pillars, right? Just kind of do your own little assessment in regards to the resiliency factor. Do you. And can you relate to what it is we're talking about when it comes to these five pillars? Okay, Sorry. I swear. I swear.

Number two, self care.

I think you should say number one again and then I swear that's it.

Say number one again. Okay, okay. Self awareness. Number two, self care. Number three, mindfulness. Number four, positive relationships. Love that. I didn't make that up. So relationships even as a part of resilience. And number five would be purpose. And really, let me just. I'm going to give a shout out to my incredible wife and partner and everything. This would be a place in my assertion where you're literally, you know, Stacy's having to help me literally, with some not so glamorous things. Not what we reading about in the storybook about, you know, I mean, literally daily activities that are very difficult for me to do. Meaning this could be a place. And we know because we coach, you know, couples and singles to where this can be a place of, like, all right, I'll do it for you. But, you know, like, damn, is this almost over? You know, that kind of a thing. I mean, meaning we like to say we sacrifices the. The circumstances for the experience. And I really would acknowledge, you know, Stacy and us, where again, we're right in the thick of this and there's been some difficult places to. Where we did our best to not get tied up in all the things that had to be done, Stacy had all types of notes and directions and instructions from home health and the surgery center and all yada yada yada, to where we still had fun. We still would make jokes. We still could keep the connection between us emotionally even amongst these loss of lots of circumstances and lots of, lots of times that you got to take your meds and all these other things.

Things. So thank you. Thank you, babe. That's awesome. That was a wonderful little surprise.

Thank you very much.

I know. So that's a perfect segue into the heart of the matter today. The heart of the matter is we're going to be talking about that emotional body and that physical body with a very special guest. So let's move into that segment right now. I think this is a good time. Yeah. Yes. Talk about resilience. A few years ago, Sakura Sutter was on the brink of death with a rare autoimmune disorder and forced her into healing herself. Especially the part that she didn't really understand and had to suppress for a very long time for fear of being different. Sakura had to learn to care for and love for herself again. Now I want to note also this is an incredible personal journey, but Sakura also comes to this with a masters of esthetician spiritual hypnotherapist, Reiki master intuitive medium and also a radio host of a show right here on KKNW called Love from the Hip. She has been working in the cosmetic industry for 20 years and has combined her mind and energy modalities with skin scare. I'm sorry, skin care and her high bred practice called Sakura Skin and Mind. So she took this journey having incredible certifications and knowledge which I find even more fascinating to her journey. She was not new to the healing modality. She was not new to medicine. She was not new to what was being offered to her to care for her physical aspects of herself. And let's invite her to join the show right now. We're so excited and let's have her share her story with you personally.

Hello.

Hello, Sakura. It's so great to have you here. I have been so, so looking forward to this.

Thank you very much for having me. And I want to say I'm drinking Tazo mint tea, but I'm really rethinking doing it in the studio because, you know, I'd like some bubbly myself. Wouldn't you Eric? I mean, yeah, Eric and I are here, like really.

But in any case, so that's. That's not allowed in the studio.

Not Yet. Not yet.

Oh, maybe we can change.

Let us talk to the authorities.

Yeah. It is a workplace.

Talk to the higher up.

Eric's always irresponsible. He's captain of their ship.

He is.

It's true.

So, Sakura, let's jump into your journey.

Sure.

Let's begin at the beginning, shall we? Where all great conversations begin and tell us a little bit about your journey and then what drove you to the place of exploring the emotional aspects of yourself.

So I'd want to start as a child, because as a child and an empathic child also someone who was not. I'm going to bring some woo woo to your show. As to someone who was bringing in past life recalls, I had severe phobias of things I had never experienced, like plane crashing and I had never been on a plane before food poisoning and all of that. So I was having all of these emotions and these feelings coming in, but I didn't know what to do with that. Right. And I didn't know how to be. So it started with that because I was suppressing who I was because I didn't have a mentor or someone to help me. And then later what ended up happening is after all the suppression and even just in relationships, I ended up suppressing who I was to be that person that that person wanted me to be and people pleasing and all of that just be accepted. Right. So then in 2015, I started to get these fluid filled blisters that were popping up on my skin and actually the first one I had was in my mouth. So I went to the dentist and he was completely unsure of what that could be, except he chalked it up to a viral infection. And then I proceeded down the path of western medicine and I saw four different doctors and they were all telling me different things. Nobody could figure it out. So of course I went on your trusted WebMD and diagnosed myself. And then I sought the care of a dermatologist who I had worked for because I've been in the skin industry and iron, right. I've been in the skin industry for 20 years and I get something that attacks your skin. And so at the time he said, look, I think you're right, but I'll perform this biopsy. And he did. And then I was diagnosed in 2015 with this rare autoimmune disorder called Pentagon vulgaris, which is a blistering disorder which is said to attack your skin. And it's a 5 to 15% mortality rate. Now, I didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't know the severity of It. And you read about the worst things on the Internet, right? The Internet just blows things and blows up things out of proportion. So I didn't know. But then it started to get worse. And it happened after I went through a breakup. And it was a breakup that I had been in for about eight and a half years, and it was a very toxic relationship. And so it was after the breakup that these blisters started to form communities. And then I was put on steroids and immune suppressants, and then they became these huge open wounds. So I had open wounds covering about 90% of my body.

Oh, my gosh.

And I was trying to hide it in the beginning. As you mentioned, I have come from a holistic path. I was doing everything. I was doing acupuncture. I was doing crystal healing. I sent my picture to John of God in Brazil, who's known for healing. I was doing homeopathy. I was trying everything, but nothing was working. And I started to just completely decline. And it got to the point where I could no longer take care of myself. And so I had to move in with my parents, and I had to let go of my daughter and let her live with her father and have other people take care of me and just watch my body completely decline and basically was on the verge of death. So I consider it my near death experience. I was taking bleach baths twice a day. I had to have someone dress me as I was a burn victim, because that's typically what people do with pemphigus is they go into the hospital, they're admitted into the burn unit, and then they subsequently die from sepsis or some other infection. So my doctor encouraged me to stay at home, have my family take care of me, and that's what I did. They were my nurses. And so I. They had to dress my wounds with Vaseline. I couldn't wear clothing. I had to sleep on ice packs because the pain was so unbearable. And so through the journey and, you know, interrupt me if you want to go in here. No, I just.

I think you're doing a fabulous job because I think it's important for people to see that you were doing all the physical things that a normal person would do or think to do. Right. Whether you're. Whether you're the person on the side of giving care. Right. And supporting you. You know, we. We become very attuned to the physical because it's the thing that makes sense to us. It's the thing that we can compare. We can wrap our head around and obviously with these blisters. There was a physical presentation as well, which. Which everybody kind of starts to focus in on. Right. And then like you had said, which I loved about your story, is you had access to some of the best care, whether it was, you know, Eastern or Western. You were trying all the things I remember when you were first sharing with your. Sharing with me your story months ago, they called you the hippie. Hippie patient.

Yeah. So I was under the care of a dermatologist. He's actually the professor of dermatology at UW and he's a specialist in pemphigus now. I switched my diet. I went vegan. I was reading up on the medical medium. I started incorporating supplements that actually attack or starve out a virus, because autoimmune, according to functional medicine doctors, is actually an underlying virus. It's not that your body just attacks itself for no reason. That just doesn't happen. So I was going down that route aside from seeing him. And I think I was also seeing western medicine doctors to appease my family because that's all they knew. And so I was doing that. And I also had to make peace with that, that the medicine that they were giving me wasn't going to be so harmful that it would actually work to my benefit. But I was also starting to incorporate my other healing. And mind you, I was mad when this happened because like you had mentioned Tom Gus, I was doing the work and meditating and all of that. And I was like, why me? You know, so the victimhood did present itself as I was going through this healing journey. But then what really ended up happening is the minute I surrendered to it is what I had to do, is the minute I surrendered and said, hey, you know what? If this is the way I'm going out, then I need to make peace with that and I need to be okay with that. And so the minute I did that, aside from doing all the other things, I was incorporating everything. As you said, I was the hippie client. That's when I started to turn a page. That's when I started to come around the corner. And it was not just surrendering to the illness, but it was also giving in to myself. It was sitting in my own skin. And mind you, my skin was falling off, right? I mean, I would walk and my skin would tear open. So I had to be comfortable in that. I mean, I wasn't even comfortable in my own skin prior to that, but that made it even more so where I had to sit and be comfortable in it. And the minute I did is when it started to turn around and I.

Started to come back, I want you, to the listeners, I want you to understand that this story is so common, maybe not to this extreme, but it is something that we talk about and explore and teach every single day of my practice. And the reason, a couple of the reason this is, is we don't talk about the emotional body, and we don't think about the emotional body having boundaries. And that when we cross those boundaries, just like if I cross physical boundaries, if somebod pushes on me, if somebody steps on my toe, it's going to hurt. And how long do we wait to address our physical boundaries? I mean, not very long, right? Somebody's not going to stand on my toe very long before I go, excuse me, you need to step aside. And with our emotional boundaries, because we don't understand that they even exist. We cross them ourselves. We allow other people to cross them, and it works just the same. The pain is going to go off, signaling this isn't okay. This isn't where you need to go. This isn't who you're designed to be. Please come back to yourself. And as I continue to get further away from myself, the pain that I'm feeling emotionally is going to go up, and it will go to the degree that it needs to in order to get our attention. Now, the fascinating thing about this also, as you share, Sakura, is that relationships are a catalytic or a catalyst to help us see and understand ourselves. At the end of the day, they are the greatest thing we have as far as, like, seeing myself understanding myself and putting my personal growth on steroids. So I always say, if you want to put your personal growth on steroids, just get into a relationship. It's going to take care of everything for you. It's going to take care of all your fears and insecurities, are going to bring all your stuff up, and it's going to be a phenomenal ride in the beginning. Right? So it's going to teach you what you're capable of feeling and experiencing in the highs and the lows. So just go there. The breakups in our relationships are always a catalytic event. They are the thing that. Okay, you want to go here? All right, let's go. And it helps us come back to ourselves, where we have to let go of a person that we thought was going to make this all okay or fix us or replace us or. Or make it all okay. Right. Save us essentially from ourselves. And it's always a catalytic event. So I love that aspect of your story as well.

Well, and, and we add to it, right? It's not like it was all, all his fault. I mean, I chose to stay in it for that long. I chose to endure it for that long because that's what I felt I deserved. Right.

Well, and it also may be what you were taught.

Right, exactly.

Where. Where we in relationships tend to try and live out a story or a narrative that we're taught or given from the greatest of intentions of all. And then we try and fit ourselves into that story. And the funny, ironic thing is that, right, nobody's living the story. There's all this stuff that's happening outside of and around the story, but we all tend to think that we need to live the story.

And so let me just. If my ass. So was there after you, you know, exhausted all of the. These modalities and, and everything that you were embracing to get yourself better, was there something specific or would you say was it a compounding of this to where you realize you needed to. What we say in our body, where turn and face. Really what was going on? Was that. Was that a compounding or something specific that kind of said.

Okay, so I would say it's a culmination of a lot of things that I was doing as far as diet changing my thought. Right. Surrendering, but also taking responsibility for your own body and your own healing. That's also, you know, that's why all the other modalities weren't working in the beginning because I wasn't doing that and I wasn't doing the work. So I was also doing weekly hypnosis with a woman who volunteered her services to me and going through all of the healing with all the toxic programming and everything, all the limiting beliefs and the self hatred and letting go of that as well as theta healing. I'm not sure if you're familiar with that, but that is kind of going back and doing genetic healing as well, ancestral healing.

And was it you that sought this out or felt inspired to. To seek this out?

Yeah, interestingly enough, I do know a lot of people in that world. And so people were reaching out, healers were reaching out, and everybody from all walks of life and not a lot of people could understand the severity of it. Like, oh, you're just sick. We'll go for coffee sometime. I'm like, no, I can't even leave the house for risk of infection. But anyways, this woman actually was just thrown in my lap. Another healer presented her to me and she just, yeah, she volunteered her services. And we've become the best of friends, and I'm so grateful. So she worked through a lot for me and with me.

I love to point out that when we surrender, as you had said so eloquently, to coming back to home, to ourselves, it's amazing what starts to, like, fall into place, don't you think? Who shows up and how it shows up. It.

It's.

It really is kind of a Gus thing.

Yeah. And then also, don't you see, too? I mean, for me, the modalities that I had learned helped prepare me for the healing. Right. It was like I was given the tools by the universe. I was set up for success. It's just whether or not which way you want to go with it. Right?

Yeah.

Whether you were going to embrace those, use those, apply them and move forward, or you were going to write, set them aside and say, no, this is ridiculous. I can't do that.

Right.

Not for me.

Yeah, exactly. And I do want to mention I was having other physical ailments prior to that happening. So I encourage people, pay attention. Your body's always talking to you. And also that your body is a miraculous healing machine. As you were saying, Tom, with your knee resilience. I mean, my skin, I mean, you can see some spots on it where it's red, but it's come completely back, which I never thought it would. Honestly, my family never thought it would either.

That's amazing. It really is amazing how our bodies will support us. Right. And have the capacity to come back. And it's. It's true. Whether we're talking about an emotional pain or a physical pain, which always results in a combination of both, I am certain that that's our navigation system, and we need to learn how to utilize that navigation system, because it's pristine. It works really well if we understand how to work with it. Right. And unfortunately, we've not been given the whole story because we don't talk about our emotional bodies like we do our physical. Right. So.

So looking back now, Sakura, as you take a look at all the things that you navigated and work through emotionally, are those places and challenges that you had not, you know, chosen to. To work through before. And this was the kind of the perfect moment the universe gave you.

This has been my lifelong lesson, is self acceptance. You know, as a child, even I just felt different and out of place. I, you know, marched to the beat of my own drum. And so this. This disease, this illness actually gave me opportunity to step into myself completely and fully. So I consider it a blessing. As awful as this disease is, I consider it a blessing. So, yeah, it's helped me to step into being fully accepting of myself. And then now I get to share that wisdom with others via the radio. That's. That's why I set this up. That's. That's why I came on the airwaves, is to share that with others, to encourage others to step into themselves before it's too late.

And now you've got a really great partner to travel with you, right? So the minute you start to doubt yourself, does. Do you find that it flares up?

You know, I. There's self care, right? I mean, self care is really important, as you were talking about with resilience. And so my self care is when I'm stepping out of believing in myself, when I'm stepping out of having that confidence. That's when I need to step it up and, you know, reconnect with myself. So, yeah, if I haven't had a blister, I've been in remission. Knock on wood, Eric. Knock on Wood. Since 2018. But it is still in the back of my mind. It's so scary. I mean, it really is. It's still, you know, it's still there. I'm aware I haven't forgotten about it. It's still there. And it will always be there, you know, as a reminder. But that's the thing, right? Remission is remember the mission. So it'll always be there.

Oh, I love that. Remember the mission. That's so beautifully said. And I want to just impress in our relationship journeys, it works very similar to this. Where our experiences are there to remind us of what didn't work. And then if we not only focus on what didn't work, but what did work to help us get out of there, to help us heal, to help us grow, to help us expand our perspective, it will be our guide forever. Right. I think that's the value of experience as well as I would love to say, there's no such thing as wasted experience, whether it turns to your favor or not. If we can find the gratitude in that piece, I would love for you to just highlight that as well, like you just did. If we can find the gratitude in some of our challenges and our struggles, then we own it, really. It becomes a very empowering part of our journey and where it is we go and who it is we have the capacity to be.

Yeah, absolutely. I do own it, but I don't make it part of my who I am. Like, I don't continue to say I have this right. I consider Myself cured, so. But a lot of people do get stuck in the illness and stuck in the identity of the illness. Right. Which never gets them better. That's why, you know, a lot of us healers don't like to diagnose because people get stuck in the diagnosis. Right, right.

So. So, so what would you say would looking again back now on your journey, where you sit now, from where you were, what would you think was the most, you know, fearful place for you to finally turn and look? Sounds like you knew. We all know. We all know that had that inner knowing of what we need to look at and move through. Like you say, owning who you really are. What would you think was so, so scary about that until this opportunity presented itself for you to finally work through this.

As a child, it was just being a. Accepted even by my family. Right. As the black sheep. So I think the scariest thing for me was to be seen, you know, really be seen. I was super shy. I just tried to hide myself all the time. I didn't want people to notice me at all because I didn't feel comfortable in who I was. And so. And I think also, you know, we. With all the emotions and things that you stuff, right, you stuff your emotions because you're not feeling them. They're meant to be felt.

Felt.

And just as you expressed, if you don't feel them, it pushes you into that fight or flight, which is what essentially happened to me. But I think the scariest thing for me was to be seen, really. To be seen for. Fully, fully for who I am was super scary. It's just being on stage with a light on me that would be.

Yeah, terrifying.

Terrifying.

Well, certainly not the only one that has that emotional experience. I think that's probably the journey for all of us, right?

In some form or fashion. Yeah, absolutely. I would say. And acceptance of ourselves is. Is the most terrifying part. Right. And. And believing in ourselves to become what it is we have the capacity to be is the journey that usually terrifies us most. And that's where I. We all can do amazing things, right? I do believe that regardless of where we come from, we all have the capacity to. To become what it is. We have the seeds to become. And it's us eventually that will stop or start ourselves. Just like you said, you had access to everything, but if you didn't pick up the baton and you didn't do something with it, if you didn't continue to confront it and look at it and work through it, you wouldn't have had the miraculous healing that you did. Right. Would you agree with that?

Yeah, exactly. And I would add to, you know, as far as the intuitive mediumship, I mean, that was. I mean, that's hard to tell people too. I mean, that's hard to accept. And so I was suppressing that as well. But then when I started to come back to health, that started coming in, whether I liked it or not. So, I mean, I would be performing a facial on a client and their dead loved one would come in, and I had no choice but to speak their message because they're very persistent. But it's all done in love. I mean, everything is done in love. And that's kind of where I've come to accept this illness has really helped me to accept that anything that happens to me is meant to happen and there's a reason. And even if it seems really bad and awful at the time, there's a silver lining in there and I just need to see it. So that's what it's taught me. Most of all.

I love that. I love that. As we wrap this up, I want to invite all of us, you know, taking a turn. What is. What is a bottom line takeaway that we want to leave our listeners with in regards to our conversation today. Anybody want to go first?

I vote for Tom.

No, no. Thank you. I appreciate that.

You're welcome.

I love that, Love that clarity and certainty. I love. I've never. I mean, I. When you shared remission is. Remember the mission. That's. Oh, man, that is so good. So rich. Just. We could. We could geek out on that for multiple shows. But I mean, no, seriously, that's so eloquently but powerfully stated. You know, again, you're not. If I heard you correctly, you're not encouraging people to forget it. No. Remember it and, and all that it gave you and use that to move forward again. In our body of work, we like to.

To.

We're very much forward thinking. Look, we'll take care of whatever. You know, a lot of times in this body of work that we do. Excuse me. I'm so excited. I'm pounding my hands here. You know, we want to think, keep going back to the past and going back past. And Stacy always encourages our clients. Look, if whatever is in the past is holding you up, I can promise you it will show up as. And we'll deal with it as we're going forward. You know, so remember the mission is that. That's. That's. That's epic.

Yeah.

Really?

I love that. And, and yeah, just to. I Would say the realities of our physical and our emotional bodies, they're real. And it's time for us to learn how they work and to embrace them as the beautiful navigation system that they are for us as human beings. Yeah. We have the ability to think. We have the ability to feel. And we need to learn how to utilize both to our betterment. Right. So that we can now start. If it is a negative experience, we can start using that to empower us. Us instead of us to become stuck in it. That is not the goal.

Yeah. And to honor yourself and your emotions. Right?

Yes. It is what it is. Oh, for sure. It is what it is. And it's part of accepting and understanding ourselves. Right. This. This experience helps you see what works for you and what doesn't. Step by step as we go. We figure it out as we go as human beings, not before we can get started. And our minds love to tell us we've got to understand it all before we can take a step. And that's just a setup for being stuck. The reality is we need to take a step. We need to figure it out as we go, not before we get started. So I love your story in that regard as well. Right. Because you had to figure it out as you went. You had to take.

There was no manual, unfortunately.

Dang it. I know.

Even the crystal ball wasn't going to tell me.

And what would be your big takeaway today?

I would say to feel your feelings. You know, pay attention to what you're saying to yourself and. And be true to you. I mean, be yourself. Be true to you. Step into you and your healing and everything that you're doing and in your life, live your life. You know, I think part of the reason why I also survived is because I wanted to live my life.

Life.

And people just go through life day by day not living it.

I so agree. And I have a personal family member who has succumbed the odds like you. And it's her desire to live that trumps at all. Yeah, right. She will not be denied. So, Sakura, it's been so great to have you here. You, I know, have made it your mission to help people in any way that you can. And this journey. Right. Your mission as you're in remission, I know, will touch many more lives. And it's touched our lives here today. Thank you so much for being here on the show. Please let people know how they can contact and connect with you more.

Absolutely. So you can reach me, Sakura Sutter.com and like you said, I have three radio shows on KKNW. And also, yeah, so we've got Love from the Hip and we've got Go beyond the Veil and the Conscious Coaching Hour. So you can listen in then. And also, yeah, you can find me if you need skincare and hypnotherapy and intuitive mediumship, but you can also find me at sakura skin and mind dot com. But the show is on Wednesdays from 2 to 3pm Oh, I love that.

And we're going to be following you as it's rebroadcast again on another station, kbkw. We'll let our listeners know more about that when it's appropriate. But yeah, thank you so much for your mentorship, for your gift, for your message, for sharing your experience with us. It's truly caused us to think a lot and, and help us step into who it is we have the capacity to be. Thank you so much.

Thank you guys so much. Thank you.

So we are going to step into Spreading a Little Love and Spread Some Love is a segment that we do because we know that there are people out there who have perspectives about love and relationships that we want to share with you. Now, we may not agree with them, but they're always there and present. And ironically, as we just, just I want you to know this is totally random as our Spread Some Love recording came in. It was absolutely perfect for our conversation today about the marriage between our physical and emotional body. You might even think we can this but we didn't. It just, it just happened. It just kind of came about serendipitously.

Well and there's a couple points of serendipity here. Number one, this is from a, a colleague and a friend and we, we have a local office, you know, where we live here. And, and this is, you know, one of the, of the professional, the, the Auburn Total Health where Stacy has our local office here. So then that's by design. So yeah, this is a very, very powerful Cheryl along right on the backside of what, you know, Sakura's beautiful story and all that it taught her.

Yeah, it came this spread. Some love comes from Amy Perkins who is a sport and orthopedic massage therapist as well as a thermography imager. Ironically, it is absolutely perfect for today's show. And this is what Amy has had to say.

Hi, my name is Amy Perkins. I'm a sports and orthopedic massage therapist as well as a medical clinical thermographer. I'm in Auburn, California at Auburn Total Health. And what my line of work has taught me about relationships or how to interact in my relationships is to not hold on to negativity or toxicity. And what I mean by that is, as a massage therapist, I've been practicing for 20 years, and you can tell when someone is holding on to emotional pain. It shows up all over the body in the form of stiff muscles, in the form of pressure points, being through the roof, just different places throughout the body that you can tell when a person is holding onto things.

Things.

And being a caretaker, we often don't take care of ourselves. And it's really taken me this 20 years to get really good at practicing letting go. The biggest eye opener for me was when I started doing the clinical thermography and actually seeing the pain in people versus feeling the pain and then being able to see, as people let go of anger and as people let go of different things in their life, the heat signature of their body actually changes. And I have. I have noticed in my own self, through looking through the lens of thermography, being able to say, okay, if this person that has what looks like a stage 4 cancer right now because of how much negative energy is in their body and how much heat is in their body, if we can bring some resolve to that and see a huge result with them in three months of letting go of negativity, making sure that they're forgiving and not becoming bitter in situations, in watching all of that heat dissipate and watching all of the anger come out of them as they go through their journey, I think that's been the biggest tip for me, is to make sure that I'm doing the work and make sure that I'm doing the process so that I don't have that in my own life. I don't have the negativity and the toxicity in my own life life, and that I don't bring it to those around me.

So well said. It is absolutely inspiring to see the physical body respond to the emotional body and vice versa.

Well, and I just think, I mean, I mean, I love that. I mean, come on. I mean, you're literally watching it through a very sophisticated piece of equipment, you know, as Amy shared, where the heat imagery has changed. I mean, so they're again, to get geeky and to use the power of advancements of. Of technology and get that confirmation to where there is no denying that the connection between the two are huge, you know, and also, I mean, Sakura just shared with us her incredible journey. And only when she was able to turn and work through these places of significant emotional, you know, and not negating.

One or the other. They were still not at all.

They work concert. Absolutely, yes.

And the emotional needs that were attended to. And this truly is our perfect navigation system. I know, I've said that a hundred times.

Well, it really is. I mean, if we, and I think most of us, you know, until we get some, some reference and range and, and context around it, it literally scares the heck out of us. So the first thing for most of us is just fear and then like, oh, please, I hope it goes away rather than the ultimate messenger that it is for all of us.

It's normal. It's natural for us to feel and it's normal and natural for us to experience or feel. Physical bodies and our emotional bodies maybe all learn how to navigate our way through that. If you need help at, at all with these kinds of things, I encourage you to reach out to us. And if you have something that you would like to share with us on that spread some love moment, you're have an organization, you're in a business, you're. You're dedicating yourself to helping us all come together and create connection and help us heal and become all that we can be, then go ahead and go to our website and spread some love right here on the show. We'd love to hear from you. So, babe, it's time to wrap up. We've come to a close here. I know you've said earlier it's the best hour of the whole week and it's really true. And it goes by so fast as we do with each episode we are stepping into. Can you feel it? We do this to Mary the thinking and the emotional body together. It's important, we feel, it's important, we think it's important and wonderful to be a wonderful human being. So this week's song we encourage you to listen to on our Spotify playlist. You can access on our podcast page@staceybartly.com is Mariah Carey's emotions. Now, I know in the song she talks about the high emotions, but the so high emotions that cause us and inspire us to be human and to feel alive and to reach again and to go again. So may it put a smile on your face today and remember, you are a human being. You are, are capable of many things. You are alive. It's time for us to live. Let's go. Have a beautiful week. It's been great to be here with you. Anything you want to say as we sign off?

No, I would just say, you know, that's it for this week's Love Shack Live you know, again, we're Tom and Stacy. So happy to be here with you or grateful to be here with you or whatever that feeling is. It's always just an awesome time to connect. Thank you to Sakura for sharing her story and her wisdom and and such with us. Thank you. Thanks for Amy. Yeah. Eric at the helm, keeping us on.

Track, picking our winner. Have a beautiful week, you guys. We look forward to being back here again with you very soon.

Thanks for joining us today in the Love Shack. We hope you came away with something that made your toes tingle. To learn more about everything you heard on today's show, go to stacybartley.com podcast Love the Show. Help us spread the love by sharing the show with others. Okay, everybody, time to go. We gotta close the doors to the Love Shack for this week. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Come back next week, though and join us us for another edition of Love Shack Live with Tom and Stacey Bartley.