#67: The Science of Names: What Your Name Says About You

Hey, thanks for coming. Welcome to the Love Shack.

Hey, welcome to the Love Shack. It's a little old place where we get to get together, explore fresh perspectives and eavesdrop on juicy conversations and uncover the mysteries that nobody talks about, but absolutely influences our relationships. If you are struggling with your special someone starting out in a new relationship and want to make sure it thrives, this show is dedicated to you today. This is episode number 67, and we're going to share with you the inside meanings of a name and what a name says about you. We're actually going to be diving into the science of memology.

Absolutely. Hi, we're Tom and Stacy Bartley, host of Love Shack Live. Thanks for joining us inside the Love Shack. And today, yeah, we're, we're, we're blessed to have our special guest, Sharon Wyeth, and she is the founder of nemology.

So let me just ask you before I, you know, tell you about her and her wonderful science and my incredible experience of meeting her, just ask yourself how many different ways you personally have attempted to understand yourself and or your partner at a deeper level. If you're like most of us, you've heard of the Meyer Briggs team test where you do the personality, you size it up that way. Or maybe the good old, you know, astrological sign to see if we're compatible so that I can understand you, I can understand me. And many of us right now, especially in the realm of relationship, have read or have heard of the five love languages to help us understand. How does this whole relationship dance work? We're checking in to see if we're compatible with our partners and spouses, if we're irresistible enough. And so there's lots of assessments and quizzes that almost have become an obsession to see if we can better comprehend our pasts and also predict our futures, especially when it comes to the relationship journey.

Absolutely. And you know what? The truth is, is we all want to understand ourselves and our partners better. But sometimes it's hard to know. As Stacy just alluded to, where the heck do we start?

Most people don't even think about their names as having any significance beyond what they are called and unaware of the wealth of information that their name holds. But the reality is that I learned from Sharon is actually an incredibly powerful tool our name is, and it can be used to understand ourselves and others better. So today, we are so excited and delighted to have with us inside the Love Shack, Sharon. Sharon Wythe. I keep saying Sharon because that's how it's spelled, but she's going to tell us all about that. She is truly an internationally recognized name expert. Expert. And we're going to be talking about all the ways your name can share insights and details about a person's personality, health, life, core lessons, and even expose how they love. Because knowing the meaning of your name and the significance of it can give you a deeper understanding of yourself and the people that you are around. Now I'm just gonna say I'm gonna be the elephant in the room right here. I have to admit that when I first read about Sharon and her work and her science, met her and we actually had a deep dive, I was honestly very, very skeptical. I thought, come on, right? I mean, there's so many questions to ask. But you know what? We're going to ask those questions that I asked her as she explains to us the science. And I need to tell you, when we were done spending our time together, she shared with me some very moving, powerful and important insights not only into my life, but the life of my parents who had have unfortunately passed already.

And all, all from your name.

All from their names and your name. Yes, after listening to this podcast episode, I promise you're going to want to know more about your own name and the names of those around you. So stay with us as we take a quick break. We'll be right back.

I met Stacy and Tom about two years ago. I was at a point in my relationship where I was ready to file for divorce. Not that I wanted to, but I just felt hopeless and helpless. I'd been through other counseling and coaching and didn't find any success. With Stacy and Tom's methods, I was able to eliminate insecurities, set boundaries, plant my flag, eliminate rabbit holing. I was separated from my wife for a year and I have since moved back home for the last six months. Now, I still refer back to a lot of the teaching that Stacy and Tom provided and it's helped me. It's well worth it.

Learn this simp simple three step system to rescue your struggling relationship by registering for Stacy's brand new free workshop. Reserve your seat by going to stacybartley.comworkshop.

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Welcome back. Inside the Love Shack, episode 67. Happy to have you here. Where Tom and Stacy Bartley along with our engineer Eric Rider. Happy to have you here and we're going to jump right into the heart of the matter. Yeah.

We have with us and so delighted and excited and lucky to have Sharon with us. She has dedicated her life to the study of names and she's here with us right now inside the Love Shack and her knowledge is going to be incredible. I was so inspired by her when I met her and I get to share her with you now. So I couldn't be more delighted. She's going to reveal how your name can offer insights into your strengths, your challenges and the purpose of your life. Sharon is the founder, she is the gal, she is the girl that created this science. She's the founder of Nemology, which is the study of the placement of letters in the name. And after 15 years of research, she has assisted many businesses and individuals in deciphering their names, strengths, challenges and purposes in life. She's also written several best selling books on the topic and it's a frequent guest on both radio and television programs. Sharon, welcome to the show. It is so great to have you here.

Thank you. Great to see you again, Stacy and to meet you, Tom.

Thank you.

That's true. So again, I had said this on the intro but you know, in the spirit of full disclosure, I was so skeptical when you and I first met. That's probably maybe a common thing. Like come on.

Very common.

Really? My name's gonna give all of this away, right? And you have a fascinating story about how you started to put the parts and pieces together to the science before you became the wonderful extraordinarily name rich scientists that you are right now. Would you tell us a little bit about that story?

Well, it was when I was 20 and I was, I was 26. And I was putting together the, you know, the names in the seating chart of my kids. It was in my seventh year of teaching. And so what happened was I randomly put him down because you want to be able to tell children where to sit when they come in on the first day of school. But I realized that my brain was saying, don't put, you know, Stacy anywhere close, you know, to the front or the side or whatever. She's going to be stubborn. She's not going to want to change your seat. Put her over there on the side. And don't put a Joshua and a Julie together because they're going to be clowns, but separated, they'll be okay, you know. And so I started thinking, thinking after a while I thought, wait a minute, I don't know these kids yet. All I know is their names. And so I was curious and I wrote down what I was feeling about every single child. And I put it away until winter break. And I thought, I'm going to look at this later. I want to get to know the kids for who they are. So when I looked at it at winter break, I was amazed at the accuracy of what my brain had picked up. Now, my brain is thoroughly trained in patterns because I'm a math major and I have my master's degree, and yet there's no math in what I'm doing with names.

Okay.

I don't want to scare anybody. It's just letter and letter placement. And so I started saying, okay, my brain's picked up something. How do I make what's unconscious conscious? And that's what took me 15 years to figure out all of the patterns. And then it got tested in over 70 countries over the next three years.

Yeah. So all this to say, she knows what she's talking about. And I love that story because it's something that just kind of unfolded naturally in your life. And having that beautiful brain math that you do, you can see those patterns unfolding. And good for you for trusting it so that we can all be the beneficiaries of that. That's incredible.

Well, I think it was a joint thing I always say, with spirit. I want to give spirit credit because I was a meditator since I was 18, and so I would wake up every morning at 4 o' clock in the morning, and I literally received hints. You know, they would. I would say, have you thought about this? Did you put this one together yet? You know, I mean, I was being helped all the way along.

Wow, that's incredible. That makes it even More impactful. So tell us a little bit about the science. If you could start to uncover some of the science so that those listeners who are here, we can. We can look at. Okay, Tell us some combinations. Right? Tell us some combinations that will help us understand what it is you're actually doing here. I loved what you said. It's the placement of the letters, right? So it's not. So it's. It's where they fall in the spelling of the name. Right?

Right. So if you're looking at the single letters, it's important to know whether it's the first letter and the first name which gives us our first impression. So S is for Stacy and for Sharon is just that it says we're smart, and that's gonna be a first impression. Then if it's T. For Tom, it's gonna be. He's gonna go to the top. If he's not on top, he doesn't want to do it. You know, the only time you're gonna see him in the middle is when he's on his way to the top. Because if he doesn't think it's gonna land on top, he's not even gonna start with the first step. Okay. And the first impression with Eric, we want to include him is that he's just a hugger and emotional, and he just loves everybody. Okay?

So they.

So that gives us our first impression of somebody, and then we go to the first vowel of the first name, and that's our communication style. And it's like, what kind of gifts we like, how we deal with money, how what needs to be shown to us so that we feel loved, what needs to be, how we give out love or how we think we're showing our love. There's so many things in that first vowel besides our communication style. Okay? And then that's why I always say, from the bedroom to the boardroom, once you know somebody's name, you know everything. Okay? And then we have the last letter of the first name, and that place says, what People are going to talk about you first behind your back.

Okay, interesting.

So with. With Tom, it's that he does everything to the extreme. What he likes, he really likes, and what he doesn't like, he's not gonna do.

M. That's M, people.

That's the M. And with Stacy with the I is that she can handle a lot of attention. You know, some people shy away from attention. My first three years of teaching, I literally memorized Because I was so shy internally, I literally memorized every day what I Was gonna say, so child said something or when something. Off I go. Oh, my gosh, where am I? In my place, you know, here's my script. Because I was so shy, and it took me three years to figure out they could not ask me a math question I couldn't answer.

You know?

And then I started calming down, but it's like I didn't want the attention. I just wanted to share the knowledge, you know? So it's that I that says, it's okay. Bring the attention here. I can handle all of it and a little bit more.

That's not me. Right?

Okay. Okay. And then with Eric, is it a C or a K? At the end of Eric, it's a C. It's a C. Okay, so the C says that he's very well balanced between his masculine and his feminine principles. He can do both. He can be very loving and giving like a female, and very masculine and macho like a male. He can do both. He can be very well balanced.

A true Renaissance man.

Yes, absolutely. So that's the last letter of the C. Okay? Then you have what I call the middle letters. Those are all the letters that are left, okay? And you look at them one at a time, and you say, these are the subtleties. These are the hidden things. These are the ones that we don't know until we get to know the person a little bit longer. You know, they take longer for us to discover. Then, just like in the classroom, where if you're sitting next to somebody that you really like, you're going to act one way, but if you're sitting next to somebody you don't care for, you're going to act a different way. Okay? So the letters, once you learn them in their individuality, you have to learn how they play with others. Okay, so let me take a ch so that I'm not insulting anybody that's on the air with us right now.

Okay, that sounds like a really good idea.

A C says that I'm charming and charismatic to cover my need to be in charge and in control. See, I have a mnemonic device on how I remember everything, okay? So they like to be the one in charge. It's got to be their way. So then the H says, this is my holy letter. I leave it to God. I go with the flow. I get in the river and see where it takes me. So now let's put the C next to the H. Do we stay in charge where we're the one in charge, or do we let go and let God? So the ch Is do everything the hard way because they're battling inside. How much do I have to let go? Because I don't really want to, but I know I have to type of thing, and how much am I going to hold on? So they do things the hard way. So whether in the double letters or the triple letters, it doesn't matter where in the name. The placement doesn't matter. Okay, so it could be like Cheryl at the beginning of the name, the ch. Or it could be like Michael in the middle of the name. But that would just mean that they do things the hard way. It also helps their memory because if you do things the hard way, then you remember how you did them. So you go, ugh, last time that was so hard. This time I'm going to do it differently. But if you don't do it the hard way for these people, they go, oh, that was so easy. How did I do that? I don't remember. So they hard way.

Lots of contrast. We would say lots of contrast to choose from about. Okay, that didn't work. Let's try this.

Okay. And I would. Excuse me, but I'm just having some powerful aha's because my. My first name is Charles.

Oh, well, there you go. The ch.

Oh, that's right. She thought she was picking on somebody. That wasn't room, but I guess, surprise, surprise.

Oh, that's very far. Wow. I mean, that's. My parents gave me that name. I've used Tom, which comes from my middle name, Thompson. But Charles Ch. You're speaking to the core of who I am Because I'm a pretty intense guy who's done a lot of hard things, A lot of hard manual labor. I know hard things.

And he's very, very spiritual. Like, you know, there's. There's. Yeah, yeah, there's. Anybody that keeps me balanced is him going. Okay, honey, come on. I'm a little fiery. You know, I can. I can get fired up, Stay in charge, right? We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it this way. And he's always like, stace, let's think this through, okay? Just come calm down. Let's not. Let's not rush on anything.

But because he goes by the first vowel of O, that's the nurturing vowel. Think of it in time. That's the nurturing valve. Those are the ones that nurture everybody around them. They know how to love and take care of people. On the other hand, they expect loyalty back in return.

Oh, sure.

Loyal back. That's just hurtful because look at how good they were to you and really good communication between the two of you. Because his real first vowel is in Charles, which is an A which matches yours, which means the love potion is the same because you got the same first vowel.

Oh, so if you have the same first vowel in your name. Let me make sure I'm clear about this. And our listeners are too. If we have matching vowels on our name, then you're calling that a love potion.

It is because you understand each other, because you have the same communication and your same way of how you show love and how you receive love. And that's really important. And then there are compatible letters.

Okay, tell me about us. Tell us about the compatible letters.

Okay, so compatible letters. If the first name was really an O. Okay. The most compatible letter with an O is an E. Okay. Because O's like to be in charge. A's don't need to be in charge. They just need whoever's in charge to be competent. So that's different. As long as you're competent, be in charge, who cares? But the O says, no, it's going to be me. I want to be the one in charge. Okay, so. So with Tom, with you going by Tom instead of going by Charles, you're going to go in and out of that. Yes, it needs to be me. No, it's okay. You're confident because you've got both. So you balance. And it literally says when you go by your middle name that those are intermittent behaviors. They're not still as strong as your first name behaviors. They're not going to come in as often. The others are going to be running underneath. Okay, so in your. We did a huge study. I have a team that, God bless them, that works with me, and we did this huge study of looking at marriage records and who had stayed married the longest and who got divorced the soonest and everything. Figure out what the patterns were.

Right.

So the longest married people is when an O married an E. And the next longest married people were when A married A.

Where eyes married I eyes married. What? I didn't catch that last part.

I marry itself. The eye marries the eye.

Okay. So E and O is the best combo. A and A is the next best. And then I.

And I actually though is O married. Does it important on the O marries or I guess O and E. And.

It doesn't matter who has which.

Okay. Okay.

Doesn't matter which person. You just want the O and the E. What's really interesting is the most challenging and what we found fascinating was when the O'S married an O. Because a lot of times you think, oh, I want to match because they really get me. But sometimes the match doesn't work because os both want to be in charge. And you cannot have two Indian chiefs and no Indians in America.

That's true. I've always loved that saying. I grew up with that marriage. So I'm curious, do you find that, like, you know, in our culture, traditionally, the woman takes on the man's last name. Does that have any impact on, you know, changing some of your personality or characteristics?

Okay, so the essence of who you are is in the first name, and then the middle name is what you brought in also with you. But the last name designates your environment. So you have your nature in your first name and your nurture in your last name. So when you're changing your last name, what you're really doing is saying, whom I'm listening to, my environment has now changed. And in fact, when you get married and take on somebody else's last name, you're literally saying, I'm not listening to my parents and my upbringing anymore. I'm now having more. This person now has more influence with me.

Wow. And then how about the hyphen, the hyphenated last, you know, the hype?

That means I'm not giving up a thing. I'm still listening to everybody. I'm just adding more in.

Do you see what I'm dealing with, ladies and gentlemen? It's an adventure every day.

But we have an A.

Thank goodness. So now, now, Sharon, if we've blasted people out because they're doing the quick, quick combinations here as they're joining us wherever you are, like, hopefully we haven't blasted people out because they've realized they're incompatible, name wise. No, seriously, I know you run across this. So now what do we do?

Okay, so the only one that's really difficult between the two vowels is the O with the o, because you got too many in chiefs. However, if they will decide who's in charge of what, and the other person never gives advice in that area that they're not in charge of, they can make it work.

Never is a really long time. I can see that that might be something we need to practice. Right? But I like that because, you know, we do do that to ourselves, right? It's like, oh, it's over. See, I. We. We don't. That's the whole problem. No, no, no, no, no. That's not what we're saying here. We're saying, I love to. I'd Love to remind our listeners that I want you to look at this like a snapshot in your life. It is one element that we can look at to get an understanding on who we are and who we are in love with. Okay? So it's. It's not the whole picture. It's just a piece of the picture. So use it to your benefit, not to your demise.

The best part. The best part, Stacy, you're going to love this. Is that not only can you compare two names and see where the potential conflicts are, the solutions are always easy, and they sit in the names too.

Oh, tell us about that.

Beautiful. Wow. What a great rest of the story.

Right?

Okay, so. So sometimes HR companies will call me not only to help them choose who they're hiring, that will fit in with the team and that they'll have the skills needed, but they'll come in, they'll say, these guys aren't getting along. You know, what do we do? We want to keep them both. So the one that I love the best was from this tech firm, and the supervisor was a micromanager. Okay. And just needed to interrupt all the time. What are you doing? Who are you talking to? How to go with keep me up to date and just would nag people. Now, people with the first vowel of O's and e's hate to be nagged, okay? You do not nag these people. Okay? So the technician that everybody loved because he was the first vowel of an E, and he emotionally relates to everybody with that love, just like Eric. So everybody loved him, and he was doing really well. But he said, she nags me all day long. I want to quit. And she said, but he's not keeping me informed enough, you know? So I said, it's really easy. He doesn't want to be micromanaged, but you want to be kept better informed. So how about if at the end of every day, you do not pick up his phone call and he calls you and he gives you a summary of the day? I met with this one, and this is what we did for them, and I met with this one, and this is what we completed for them, and this is our next step. So you get a five minute summary at the end of every day. So all the news is coming in with the promise that you never call him during the day and interrupt his flow. And that was five years ago, and they're still both employed. Wow.

Well, so tell us about who needed to be informed. What letter is that?

That's the first vowel of an A.

So it would be like an Ashley.

Any place it starts. Yours is a first vowel of an A, and it's the third letter in the name.

Oh, okay.

See, with the name Charles, it's the third letter in the name. With the name Sharon, it's the third letter. You've got Sarah with the second letter or something like Ashley's first letter. It's just the first vowel.

The first vowel.

Those are the ones that need to be well informed when they're put in charge, because if not, they'll become micromanagers, you know, they'll micromanage you and everybody kind of pulls away. Now, people with the first vowel of an S. Okay, I love this. Any, in fact, anywhere, if you have an S in your name, in your first name or your middle name, what happens is these are the guys that I call that are school smart, okay? They do well in school. They learn well from others. When they're learning something new, they want the teacher, like, right there. They have no patience, waiting for their turn for an answer. It's like, if I have a question, I need the answer now. But the minute they've caught on and they think they've got it now, it's, go away, leave me alone, don't micromanage me. You're sitting too close. Don't breathe on me. Go away.

Yes, very much so. We were just having a conversation about that before we did the show.

So I can imagine, Sharon, after you really got an understanding of how your intuitive placement of your students then was backed up by your research and science. It made the flow and ease of your classroom pretty significant.

Yes, Well, I think I had a natural intuition on people and how, because I grew up in a big family and how they interacted. But it definitely did when I put the kids together in groups, you know, I would move the children the first day of every month that we were in school. You know, each month, because it might fall on a weekend, I would change everybody's seats, and often I would have them work in teams of three. And so at the beginning of the year, when I did not know the students, I did put them together with their letters and who's going to work the best together and get them off on a good start? And then in February, I would put them with the worst, you know, what are the hardest ones for you to get along with? And I would tell them, I'd say it's just as. Even more important, but absolutely as vital important as learning your math is learning how to get along with everybody. So I've given you the Shortest month of the year with the most challenging people in the room for you. And if you manage to get along for the month, you don't have to sit with them again. But if you don't, you'll also get them in March.

And how did that, that's genius. How did that go when you.

My students, year after year, would always say, first of all, because I moved them all the time, they didn't have ownership on a chair, because if not, it's like, don't touch my chair. And everybody realized every chair belongs to everybody. But what my group would always say is, I've never gotten so well along with everybody in the classroom.

That's so great.

But we did a lot of things differently. Like if I would have them stand up when they gave me an answer, I don't care how old they are, and then I would snap my fingers as long as their answer was going in the right direction. And the minute they'd go wrong, I'd be quiet with my, with my fingers. And so what you would find is within the second or third week of every school year, everybody would be clicking their fingers while they thought they were given a right answer, you know, and then all of a sudden the classroom would go quiet. And then we always said, do you want to do over or do you want to call on somebody else for help? You always get your choice who's willing to help.

We teach a lot of that in our work. Yeah, we teach a lot about do overs in our work. So, so, because, because this is so new to our listeners, I think it would be really helpful if we invited you to just go back and, and review with us again some of the basics of what you just talked taught us. Like, so the, the first letter of the first name is I want you to do this. So the first name is this. The middle name is this. The last name is this.

Okay, so the first name is the essence of who you are. The middle name, if you have one, is where you disappear under stress. That's who you become. Okay, so that would be the people that change under stress. Then your last name represents your environmental influence. So how we do it is we drop the first name and the middle name into the last name to see what the influence would be. So another way of looking at that is the first name is the ingredients you have in your kitchen, in your cupboard, and the last name are the different recipes you can make out of those ingredients. Okay, you can pick then the first. The vowels in the name represent your emotions. The consonants in a Name represent your attitudes. So we break it down that way. And then if it's a singleton letter, the placement is important. The first letter is the first impression. The first vowel is your communication and your love language. And the last. And the last letter in the name is the lasting impression. Or what I jokingly say is what everybody talks about you behind your back. And then the middle letters are what you find out as you get to know the person. And then you have the subtleties, which are all the combinations. Like I said at the beginning that Stacy would be stubborn. Well, that's the st, but stubborn people are also. That's the challenge in the stage. But there's always a benefit. There's always two sides of the coin. So the benefit is that the ST is persistent. You will find a lot of people that are doctors and lawyers and things that take a long time to develop. They have an ST in their name because they have the perseverance to keep coming through, you know, don't give up.

I'm curious about an An.

An is wanting to make the world a better place. So the people that have an A N in their their name really want to improve something. I always joke that if somebody wants to come borrow my pots and pans or, you know, like another cookie sheet or something, I always go, no, you're going to ruin it. And I keep my stuff really clean. However, if they have an an in their name, I know it's going to come back just as clean or cleaner and with cookies on it. Now, the health predispositions are also in a name. So an an, if you have that in your name, says that you're going to have your weakest link is actually your immune system. So if the an is in your first name, it says in this lifetime, your habits can cause your immune system to go bad. If it's in your middle name, it says you came in with a weakened immune system. And if it's in your last name, it says that's in the DNA that's coming through. And whether it activates or not will depend on what your choices are.

That is so fascinating. So I remember in our conversation, you were telling me about my father, and because my father passed away when I was so young, for our listeners, this is always a conversation that if I can get a little glimpse or window into his life and who he was, I'm all in because I didn't get a lot of time there to discover elements about my father. And the interesting thing, Sharon, that you brought immediately to my attention and by the way his name's Billy Donald. Sharon immediately said, there's something that happens that causes him to die, and it's an accident. And I said, oh, my gosh. And she said, is. Is he still here? Is he still. No, no, he died when I was really small. The fascinating thing about that, that she knew right away without me telling her anything about my dad, because of his name, was that my dad back in the 1970s, got sick with cancer, and they were doing cancer experiments and they ended up killing his bone marrow. And they accidentally killed him because they were giving him too much. They didn't know because he was a big, strong guy. And in that moment, you had my full attention, right? It was like, oh, my goodness, there's no way that you could have just made that up about my father or there must be something about this name thing. And of course, then you went on to share other wonderful things. But there really is something to the science. And you may be wondering listeners, just like I did. Okay, so wait a minute. I don't choose my name, though. That. That's something that we don't feel like we have control over because we are given our given name when we're born and our parents do that job for us. So what if they get it wrong?

They don't, because this is what happens when there were still only seven religions on the planet before. I jokingly say they multiplied and divided and everybody made up their own. Okay? They all agreed on some basic concepts. And one of the concepts that they all agreed on was that the incoming soul impresses upon the one that's going to name them what we were going to be called so we actually name ourselves. And if the one that they're first impressing it on. I have some stories in my book, know the name, know the person on how this worked, that there's one story in there that says that the child impressed it upon the mom. The mom got the middle name wrong, so she. So the child went to the dad and that it impressed upon the dad. And so both parents woke up and said, I think our kid came to us last night in our dreams and gave me the name. And so both went in separate rooms. So they went in for each other and wrote down the name. And one, the mom wrote down Joshua Jedediah, and the dad wrote down Joshua, Jeremiah. And then the dad said, well, you know, usually to get these things better than me, we'll go with Joshua Jedediah. Well, two weeks. And they called him Joshua the whole way through. They never. They hadn't had a sonogram. They didn't know it was a boy, but they had both received this masculine name. So anyway, two weeks before the child was born, the dad had another dream. And the dad said, he wants to be Jeremiah. He does not want to be a Jedidiah. So they named him Joshua Jeremiah. But that's not the end of the story. Before the kid was three, you're not talking to a child on how you gave them their name. You're not telling those stories yet. Mom was working, and the dad was away on business trip. Okay. And the mom was out at night. And the child came out, you know, and said in the middle of the night, and the mom was startled because she hadn't heard her. You know, the child get up, and the mom says, oh, oh, what can I do for you? You know, what do you need? And the child says, you almost got my name wrong. And of course, the mom's going, what? What conversation are we having here? And so the child went on to explain that he had to go to the dad to make sure that he got the name that he wanted. And those kinds of stories I have heard all around the world now on how souls made sure that they got the name they wanted. And the kids, when they were young, did something to literally validate it.

Wow.

I think for me and naming my six children, it was always the place where the father and the mother could agree. That was kind of what I used as the benchmark that I like it and you like it. So we're good, right? I can't. I can't look back and say that I was actually inspired. But they always come to you, which is interesting, right? They do always come to you. If you're thinking about them and you start tossing them out. Right. And no, no, no, no, no. And then there's this agreement. So do you think that once the agreement between the two partners kind of happens, that same. And everybody feels good about it? That's.

Some parents don't talk with each other about it. One just says, this is going to be the name. And they go, okay. The other one says, okay. You know, I know that for my own first grandchild. The parents talked over and over again because they could. They could decide on the two names, but couldn't decide on which one came first and which one came second, which was going to be the middle.

That's fascinating. I know my daughter, who has also six children, she would tell me consistently it would just come to her in a dream, and she would have the dream, and then she'd wake up and know the name and that's what it was.

So, Sharon, share with us, you know, your best ninja tips to use this incredible science, you know, specific to our, our intimate relationships. What, what would you, how would you.

You know, empower us to use it?

So if you're in the first valve in a, if you help them do their work, they feel loved. So if you're in love with somebody who has a first of all of an a pitch in, help them get their work done. That's how they feel loved. If you're in with the first vowel of an e and you love somebody with first vowel in e, touch them all the time. They are so physical. They need to be touched. You walk by, you put your hand on their shoulder. They come in the house, you greet them with a kiss, you know, you give them a hug. You, you touch them. They need to be touched to feel loved. If it's the first pal of an eye, you include them. You're walking out the door, you're going to go bowling. You don't care that your spouse doesn't like bowling. You still say, honey, I'm going to go bowling. Would you like to join us? You know, you always include them, honey, I'm going to go to the store. Would you like to go with me or do you want me to get you anything? You always include that's when they feel loved. Okay, if you have the first vowel of an O, you spend money on them and you bring them treats that they're not expecting for no reason. And you are verbal. Oh, honey, I love you. Oh, you're gorgeous. Oh, you're just so magnificent. Oh my gosh, I am so lucky to be married to you. You know, it's verbal. They need to hear it all the time, how much they are adorned.

Okay, I love that.

Okay, so that's an OK if it's the first vowel of a you. They love surprises. Now, a lot of other vowels don't like surprises, but yous love surprises. And it's where are you taking me this time? So if you are married to a you, if you could plan a weekend escape and simply tell them what kind of clothes to pack or pack for them, come home and say, honey, the suitcases are in the car. We're going away this weekend. I got the whole weekend planned. Oh my gosh. That person feels as, oh, incredibly loved. Even if it's simple like, hey, I've got a special evening planned for us. You take them to a play, you give them a new Experience. They want to be surprised. And it's something new, something different. It's getting out there. That's a. You use Love comedy clubs. That's one of their favorites, guys.

Wow.

Okay, now if it's a. Yeah. They want unique experiences and unique gifts. So if something is handmade, if you went traveling and you saw something that you can't buy in the local store, bring it home, you know, something that's so different from everybody else. Or take them on a trip, take them on an adventure, plan it. Just the planning of it gets them excited and they know that they're loved. So you could plan for six months and make that one trip good for six months of love.

You know, that's a good super tip, listeners, right there. It's the planning, especially if you're with a Y. That's awesome.

Right? So it's. It's literally, if you know how the person you care about receives love, then you can provide love to them in the style that they understand they're being loved.

Boy, Gary Chapman should have spoke with you before he wrote his five language book. That could have been an empowering combination.

I really like that though. Is that's how they receive love?

Yeah.

It's not how we show love, it's how you receive love.

Can you do the same thing and walk us through the communication, Right, Nuances that you had said something? Is it the second val or third Val?

I'll make it really easy. This again is in the first vowel of the first name.

That's.

This is such a powerful letter and placement that. And I got so many questions on it that after I'd written the first two books, the first one on how you can tell the personality and the second one on what your purpose is. How you can tell what your purpose is. I wrote a book just on the communication style and it's called Know the Name, Know how to Connect. And it is free. You can have access to it free on my website, on know the name.com, any page but the home page, go to where it says, get the access to the free book and the password and you can go right in and read the thing.

I decided to ask this question because we all think that communication is the number one challenge in our relationships. And it is. It plays a huge, huge role. So I thought I remember you saying something earlier in our conversation about communication. I thought, I want to circle back around to that. Right.

Well, it's so important. And it all lays in that one vowel. There's only six vowels. So it's A short book, but it tells you how you receive love, how you send love. What's your communication style? What's your partnership style? You know, people are codependent. Some people are independent. You know, how do they. How do they work? Some people are passive aggressive. You know, how. What's your style? All of that's sitting in that first vowel. So I wrote the whole book on just the first vowel. And I literally give you access to it for free because I think communication is so important.

That's so cool. So, so talk to us about the communication. What can we learn about that? So is this the same vowel? So is this the same first vowel that tells me about my communication?

And if you have. And now I'm dyslexic, so I always have to think twice on this. But if you have an A, an O, or a Y, you want to get the work done, the business at hand, then you want to play afterwards, okay? So don't waste their time with hi, how are you? They're already saying, you're wasting my time. Get to the point, okay? Don't give a lot of flowery whatevers. Just get to the point, get the work done so then they can go play, okay? That's an A and O or Y. So the other vowels, the U, the I, and the E, they need that. Hi, how are you? Did you sleep well last night? How's the family doing? They need 10 minutes of connect before you go, Okay, I called you because. Or I need this. And if you don't give them that 10 minutes of connect, they cannot hear you. And they won't get the work done because all day long they'll be saying they didn't even ask how I was doing. She didn't care. Why didn't she care? How did I hurt her? You know? And they will be so obsessed with how come I didn't get my connection first that they can't work. You either have to. I think telemarketers ought to know this. If you're calling an A and O or Y, it's I'm calling to give you this deal because you can save this much at this time. 20 seconds. Get to the point. We'll decide yes or no and we'll listen more. But if you start with hi, how are you? We already want to hang up, but if it's an E, I, or U, if they don't start with hi, how are you? They want to hang up.

And Sharon, I just have to ask. So that's fascinating. So as you, you know, with Your years of, of, you know, developing your mastery and deepening your mastery. Have any of, have you had any surprises? Or does it deep. Just deepen and confirm what your original science pointed you to?

It just keeps adding to it. So for an example, I started just figuring out the positive traits in the name. And then I had this job as a vice principal at a high school. And I'd always been an administrator, like an academic dean or a good guy, you know, and so I was always doing the positive things. And here I had to discipline the kids. Now discipline naturally came to me in a classroom because all my kids naturally behaved. You know, they just, they didn't get out of line. So now I was seeing all the underbelly. And so when I got through with that job, I thought, oh, there's letters in the name now. I've got a lot of data on the challenging qualities. So then that came along. And then after I figured out the personality ones, I thought, well, we ought to be able to tell why we're here, what's our purpose. There's got to be spirituality hidden in the name too. So that became the second book. And like I said, I got woken up every morning at 4:00 and given hints and went on, this is why it took 15 years. It was like, oh my gosh, there's more. And then after that, the latest that I've been doing is on the health issues. So that book's going to come out in a short amount of time. It's in the stages where it's getting proofread and suggestions made and, you know, all that stuff from others so that it can be corrected before it goes out and gets formatted and whatnot. So we're close, so that'll come out. And that's literally the health issues that you inherited through DNA or that you can create for yourself. And my thinking is if you know your weakest link and you take care of your weakest link, your body will take care of the rest.

Wow, that's, that's going to be so empowering. And you know, the other thing that I'm, I, I'm fascinated every time I talk to you about what we can uncover about our names. That's just. And, and most of us, you know, what's interesting is we love our names. Most of us love our names or love to be called our names, right? There's a Del Carnegie quote that says the sweetest sound of a purse to a person is the sound of a person's name.

You know, of how to Win friends and influence people.

Yes, yes, yes. And, and so there is always, if we think about it, something very intrinsic and near and dear to us about our name. And I have a brother in law who uses names as an intro to creating connection and teaches workshops on how to remember people's names, ask them where it comes from, you know, the origin, you know, the meaning, etc. And you know, we've been out to dinner with him and we'll spend two hours talking to somebody just about their name. So. So this is a fascinating thing to dive a little bit deeper into it. And is it, is it, Tell me what the consonants mean again.

The consonants are your attitudes and your emotions are your vowels. And in speaking of talking on names, that many people will call me and say, I'm pregnant, we're pregnant. And here's our group of names that we're thinking about. And I will simply say, this is what you're going to get with this one, and this is what you're going to get with this name. And this is how it's going to be with this name, or which ones are most compatible with you. But the thing is, I really prefer when a family chooses the name and then calls me, because I can look at the name and see what this soul is all about and why this soul would pick those parents. So it's a great gift for pregnant people. You know, what is it that this soul wants to learn from each parent? Why would they pick you guys as parents? And then I also look at the name and say, if we could swap out a letter in the spelling, we can make the same goal for the soul and make it easier to learn.

Wow.

And then that has impact actually on the child when they come into the world.

Exactly. Because every time you hear your name, you're hearing the vibration of that name and the corresponding aspect that go with that vibration are then what manifests.

Wow.

Okay.

Well, now that we've all had our minds just completely blown by. Jerome. Jerome, please share. This has been incredible, but we'll have to have you back. Please share with us again where people can find more about you and your awesome body of work.

It's know the name. Because once you know the name, you know everything there possibly can be. You're not meeting any strangers. And if you're in a place where you cannot write down the name of the website, just think when you get to a place where you can, you think, I need to know the name of that website and you can go, oh, yeah, that was it.

Know the name.

That's a great anchor that knowthename.com. thank you so much.

Yes, it's been such a pleasure to have you here. You guys go get your free copy on that communication. It's always such a pleasure, Sharon, as I've already said, and I'm going to say it again because I mean it from the bottom of my heart. It's always such a pleasure to connect with you. And every time I do, I learn something new and every time I do, I just go right. My mind is blown. And you might need to listen to this because she has given us a lot of value here and because Sharon is very smart and starts with an S. She talks very fast and so you might need to listen to it to kind of pick up everything that she shares. So don't hesitate to do that. Thank you so much, Sharon. We look forward to having you on the show again.

My pleasure. Thank you, Stacey. Great to connect with you again and it was great to meet you, Tom. And hello Eric in the background.

Thank you, Eric the lover.

We're gonna take a quick break.

We'll be right back. Hey babe, did you know that the average couple spends only two hours a day with each other and the majority of that time is is spent eating, watching TV and surfing social media rather than connecting with each other. And if children are involved, my gosh, it's even less time than that.

I know, babe. That's why you created our conversation cards for connection. Because they're the perfect conversation starter. So the next time you're sitting on a couch, rather than turning on the TV or grabbing your phone, pull out a card and get ready for some good old fashioned laughter and loving connection.

Yeah, you can get your cards@staceybartley.com want to hear something different from talk radio? Keep your dial on. Alternative Talk 1150.

Welcome inside the Love shack. Thomas Stacy. Probably my brain is still smoking, but we're going to jump right into the fall of the fun. See if we can kind of modulate that, that, that, that chemistry, if you will.

That was incredible. Absolutely incredible. Okay, so that was fun, but now we're going to add more fun. Typically we kind of say, okay, let that sink in. I guess I need to say that again. But hey, I have some really fun ideas for you. I think that we together as part of the love shack and in the privacy of your own home should create a month of the or the blank of the month club. And what I mean by that is blank. Let's create a club where you and your special someone you can have an experience of bringing in anything that you want to learn more about or enjoy together and experience.

So like a, like a wine of the month.

Yeah, you know, they have wine clubs, right. So decide on a day and decide on some time where every month you can bring in the exploration of. Yes. I love your idea of wine. That's incredible. That's perfect. You try different wines from different places. So you have a wine club of the month. There's some other ideas too you might want to explore. I mean, of course you could do, you know, beer. Different beers from all over. Hop, hops and hoppy and they have all kinds right now. And whiskey, you know. But if we were to switch from the beverage right.

To other places in life.

Yeah. Maybe the board game if you and your partner want to explore different.

How about puzzle? Puzzle, Puzzle of the month.

Sure. Yeah, you could do a puzzle of the month, put it together and enjoy it and then get a new puzzle. It's part of the club for sure. What about takeout? You know, you could try different takeouts. That'd be great thing. And you know, I mean, what about lingerie? You could do a lingerie club for the month. Different piece of lingerie that you get a pick out. Or maybe you take turns picking it out. It's all part of the lingerie club of the month. And you know, you could probably do a sex position of the month, too. You could say, okay, we're going to try this, right? We're going to try this. We're going to try this. We're gonna. This is the day.

Careful, Eric's got his hand on the button.

No, he doesn't. You can do it with anything that you want to express, explore and dive into and experience together. So go ahead, come on, choose and put together your club of the month.

Good old novelty. And play.

And hey, the first of every month, we do a giveaway for people who are on our fun list. And if you aren't on our fun list right now, you should get on our fun list because we have a lot of fun there in addition to giveaway prizes and gifts. And you can do that on our website. So, gosh, come on over. Let's.

Let's land this episode. And you know how we do that if you're a regular listener, you know, first of all, thank you so much. If you're a regular. So we really appreciate you spending time with us. It really means a lot to us. It really does.

And we love to give you the feeling part too of the conversation. And I have to tell you this. This, you know, song for this episode, this theme song kind of really challenged me. I had to kind of sweat a little bit and roll up my sleeves and get after it.

I could hear Stacy swearing out in the. In the room here last night because that's when she always picked. You know, a lot of times it's a. But she picked it last night. I heard a lot of.

Is that the S or the T part? I'm not quite sure in the name.

But anyway, it was kind of a battle.

It was a battle, and I think I came up with something really good. It's Alicia's Key. Alicia's Key.

Alicia's singular sing. Alicia. Alicia Keys.

I was saying with an S. Oh, voice.

You don't know my name sounds pretty. Pretty relevant to me.

Yeah, it was really relevant. And when I listened to the song, too. I love how she says we go round and round, right. Trying to connect because you don't know my name. And she kept trying to give him her name, and I just thought that was kind of really fun. So check that out. You can check that song out on our website as well. We create a song for every single episode, so don't miss it. You can go back and see all the conversations.

Maybe, you know, I've said. We've said this before, but maybe for this episode, listen to the song first to really get you in this place because we'll. There's a lot coming at you. My. I'm a quick. I'm a fast twitcher, I've been told, but, man, I'm telling you. Wow, that was a lot coming at me. I was twitching fast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, me too. And I. I was like, okay, repeat that, repeat that. And so, you know, Sharon is brilliant, as you can tell, and it would behoove you to check out her books and do a deep dive if this is something that fascinates you and that you want to learn more about. And she's so generous with her time and her talents, and so go grab that free copy, too. I can't highly recommend it. If anything, you know, this could be, you know, your club for the month.

There you go.

You could say, hey, let's. Let's look.

Let's dig into this whole name.

Let's. Let's look and see what, you know, Our. Our strengths and our weaknesses are. And our health and. And our. Our potential. It's. It's just a fascinating science that every time blows my mind. So. All right, I guess it's time for us to land this and to say goodbye once more. It's such a fun time and a fun experience for Tom and I to be here with you. And thank you so much for listening in. And, gosh, if this episode has touched you and you feel inspired to share it, I would invite you to help us spread the word by sharing this with your friends and your family and people that you feel like would benefit from the content and the conversations that we have here in the Love Shack. That would mean so much to us. To help us spread the word. We're here to bring a little bit of love and make the world a little better place.

Special thanks to Sharon. Sharon wife. Sharon Wife.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I mean, just again, that was. That was really powerful, you know, would never have expected that.

Yeah. And if you have a conversation that you would like to have talked about here in the Love Shack and. Or a question that you would like us to talk about and discuss that you're wrestling with currently in your relationships, we'd love to hear from you. You can go ahead and post that on our website as well, or you.

Can reach out to us privately. Just reach out to us at Love L O V E Love at Stacy Bartley.

What did you think about all of that love? For you to chime in as we say goodbye. I didn't. I knew you were a lover. I knew it. I absolutely knew it. Now I have the evidence to prove it. Does that ring true?

Yeah, I can't really argue with that.

Nicely said, sir.

And the Renaissance man, too.

Yeah, absolutely.

I. I don't know about that, but, you know, I try.

We're gonna have to bring Sharon back on here and say, is this part of the E. Not. Not wanting to kind of step in and say, yep, that's me.

Boom.

All right, well, thank you so much, everybody. We will be here same time, same place next week. You know, grateful to be with you and see you again.

Have a fabulous next week and get that monthly club going. You're gonna love it, I promise. I know it sounds kind of goofy on the front side, but you're gonna love it once you do it.

It. We'll see you soon. Bye.

Bye now.

Thanks for joining us today in the Love Shack. We hope you came away with something that made your toes tingle. To learn more about everything you heard on today's show, go to stacybartley.com podcast Love the Show. Help us spread the love by sharing the show with others. Okay, everybody, time to go. We gotta close the doors to the Love Shack for this week.

You don't have to go home.

But you can't stay here. Come back next week, though, and join us for another edition of Love Shack live with Tom and Stacy Bartley.