#70: Feeding Your Passion: The Ultimate Guide to Aphrodisiac Foods for Your Valentine's Day Dinner

Hey, thanks for coming. Welcome to the Love Shack.

Hey, welcome to the Love Shack. It's a little a place where we get to get together, explore fresh perspectives and eavesdrop on juicy conversations and uncover the mysteries that nobody talks about but absolutely influences our relationships. If you are struggling with your special someone and or desire to create love that lasts the long haul, this show is dedicated to you. Today is episode number 70, and we are going to share feeding your passions. We're going to share with you an ultimate guide to the aphrodisiac foods for your Valentine's Day dinner. So if by chance you find yourself looking for that perfect menu to set the mood for Valentine's Day or look no further, we're going to share with you some of the best aphrodisiac foods that will have your partner wanting more. I'm Stacey Bartley, and I'm an integrative couples therapist and divorce mediator. And I'm here with my partner and co host, Tom. Today we also have Amy Reilly, an expert in aphrodisiac foods, and she's going to talk about some of the best foods that are sure to get you in the mood this Valentine's Day. As you can probably hear, this is our Valentine's Day episode special. Whether you're looking to cook up a romantic dinner at home or you want to impress your partner with something special, I want you to know we've got you covered in this episode. So sit back, relax, and let us show you what's on the menu today.

Yeah, you know, myself included, I think I thought most people think of aphrodisiacs as being something exotic or strange, but that's not the case at all.

So true. So we're going to talk about aphrodisiacs and how they work, what the best ones to choose are. Can they really improvement in women's. Women's sexual health. So stay with us as we're answering these questions and more as well as hopefully inspire you to create an unforgettable Valentine's Day, it's time to tantalize your taste buds and give your relationship a boost with this ultimate aphrodisiac guide foods for your Valentine's Day celebration. You got this going right for us.

Absolutely.

Yeah. Okay.

Prepare to be amazed.

Go grab your favorite beverage and we'll be right back.

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Jack. We are your host, Tom and Stacy Bartley along with our engineer, Eric Ryer. Great to have you with us. With us. Excuse me. I got tangled on my tongue right there. This is episode because I'm so dang excited. Episode 70. This is a Valentine's. If you're listening live or whenever you catch it, you can always, you know, step back into Valentine's Day whenever you want. And if you know of anyone that's looking to spice up their Valentine's Day in a very unique way, we would respectfully ask you to share this episode with them. We're really, really excited. We're going to jump right into what we call the heart of the matter. Today we have. Amy Riley is sharing her wealth of knowledge on aphrodisiacs. I love that word, aphrodisiacs. And how they can spice up your Valentine's Day celebration.

Yeah. So whether you're looking to spice up your relationship or just want an excuse to kick cook a romantic Valentine dinner, this episode is sure to give you all the information that you need. So before we go much further in this conversation, we need to bring on the aphrodisiac specialist. Amy Riley is an authority on aphrodisiac foods and a freelance wine writer and wine competition judge. Boy, would I love to be in your shoes. She's also a speaker, cookbook author, and a consultant. She's earned her master's of arts in gastronomy. Gastronomy from France's culinary temple, La Cordon Bleu. While at Cordon Bleu, Riley rose to prominence in her work in culinary aphrodisiacs and. And released her first book that we're going to give away today on the show during our Follow the Fun moment. And I love the name Fork Me, Spoon Me the Sensual Cookbook. So, like, if that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about where we're going, that's exactly where we're going. Amy, thank you so much and taking the time. Welcome to the show. It's great to have you here.

Thank you. I'm so excited. Your people are definitely my people.

Oh, yes, I know. And I knew that from the moment that you and I crossed paths and met and fell in love immediately with your work, especially after meeting your beautiful, smiling face. And if we may, I would love to open up the show with an excerpt that you have in the very beginning of your book in your introduction. And I'll remember. I remember the moment. I read it a few weeks ago and I thought, oh, my gosh, this is going to be a great opener for the show. And. And here's what she writes briefly. A man I dated two or three times offered to cook for me. Because I'm involved in the food business. Most men never work up the nerve to make me a meal. I was impressed by the boldness of this invitation. And, yes, I was pretty doubtful about his cooking skills. But worry was overshadowed by my interest in what was clearly an open invitation to seduction. Any man who invites you over to dinner on the third date has more than whipping up souffle on his mind. The meal was delicious. The mood was electric. There was a white fish and a mango sauce, chocolate white wine, Red wine and strong cups of coffee that carried us deep into the night. Like, that took me away. And that's what we want to help you do today in your very own life. Love Shack listeners. And this is why we've invited Amy to come and be with us on the Love Shack today, so that we can create more moments like that.

And let me just assure our engineer, Eric. Don't worry, we've got this covered. We know we're radio live, so Eric's got his finger on that button right.

Now, so no worries.

We got you. No way. We got you. Tom, otherwise known as Radar, is here too, so we'll keep it all good.

So now that we've got us all panting a little bit, I've got to ask the first question, because when I was introduced to aphrodisiac foods, I really wanted to know, like, do they work? Like, is there really something to the science as well as the stories in regards to aphrodisiac foods? And I'd love to start with you exploring that a bit with us.

Well, the best way I can explain it is that if you look historically at the majority of cultures that celebrated foods as aphrodisiac, they were living in times when people were basically starving, right? Food was never in abundance like it is now. And so when you think, you know, when, when food was a scarcity that people were kind of saving these things and using for these special purposes, they clearly had to, you know, see that they worked for them. Right? Now, it wasn't until, you know, modern times that we can figure out, oh, well, that one has lots of manganese and that's really important for men's sexual health. Or, oh, this one raises your body temperature and can cause the release of endorphins and kind of makes you feel. Feel that sort of, if you're with someone you're attracted to, you might feel a bit of that sexual feeling. That kind of thing we now can understand scientifically. But, you know, clearly, I mean, I knew when I started working on this there weren't a lot of. There weren't a lot of scientific studies at the time. I've been studying this topic for over 15 years and there's an increasing number of, you know, investigations more into how food can support sexual health than anything else. But that's really important. But, you know, I knew from the beginning, like, these, these people, like, this stuff was so important to them. There had. They had to have felt something from it.

Now, that's a really good point. And I know that you Point out in your book that you've actually chosen 12 foods. And the reason that you chose them was because of its not only folklore, you know, historically, the stories around the foods, but also those that had actually been scientifically researched as well. So I got to ask the question just in getting to know you a little bit more, is what led you to study while you were at Le Coram Bleu? What, what was it? The inspiration? Do you have a personal story behind this? Besides your boyfriend?

I mean. So that. And the funny thing is that wasn't actually my story. I stole that story because it was so good. Once I started writing about aphrodisiacs, people love to come to me with these wonderful stories and I just filed them all away in my brain and just pulled them out whenever they, you know, serve me.

Well.

I have my own too, but I. I've been. I've been told some really amazing stories like that one. Anyway, I was working as a wine. A freelance wine writer and I, I still. It's still like my favorite thing to write about, if I'm being honest. But I wanted to write about more of the food and wine world. And I was like, okay, well, if I'm going to diversify, I probably need to write about food. But I. I'm not qualified to be a restaurant critic because I really feel that you need either restaurant experience or at least, you know, a culinary degree, something further than just understanding, like what good food tastes like in a restaurant. So that was out. And I really love folklore and I really love the nutrition and health side of food. And when I discovered aphrodisiacs, I realized I could be writing about folklore and nutrition on the same topic. And it just seemed really cool to me. So it was very challenging at first. Most of the work, work on aphrodisiacs I could find was from an anthropological perspective. It wasn't really looked at as a culinary thing. It wasn't looked at as delicious, or how can we use it, or how can we have a romantic dinner that kind of didn't exist? So it was fun and challenging and I like a challenge. And so here I am.

Oh, that's so great. I. I love the study of what you've brought to together here and not only using what you know from a culinary standpoint of view, but from this, this wonderful way that foods affect our bodies. And I just got to ask, knowing that you are a wine lover like myself. Oh, cheers.

I actually chose one purposefully for this evening that kind of. I felt lent Itself. Well, to the theme, first of all, pink bubbles. I mean, very Valentine. Right. But also, it's called. The wine is called 15 Minutes of Fame.

That's perfect.

Oh, cheers.

Cheers.

Well, and I've got to ask you, wine is an aphrodisiac, right? I mean, it certainly is for me.

Oh, absolutely, absolutely. And in fact, I. It's funny, I was just writing something about that today. I was updating. I have an article on my website, eatsomethingsexy.com it's funny. It's hard to say that to you guys without giggling.

We love it. We'll giggle right along with you.

But on eatsomethingsexy.com I was just updating. I have an article on there about how to seduce someone with wine. And it's really built on the principles of a vintner and physician, Dr. Max Lake from Australia, who discovered that the sense of certain wines replicated the sense of human pheromones.

That's fantastic.

If you want to get really deep into this, you should go read the article, because I don't think we have enough time here to really go that far. But I always, when. When someone's like, well, what's, you know, one wine for a romantic occasion, I always say, go with sparkling wine, like me. Because, I mean, if you like sparkling wine, and that's a very important point with all aphrodisiacs. It has to be something that both people enjoy. My husband does not enjoy sparkling wine. He enjoys watching me drink it, though.

Tom and I went to Italy and we came home with this little love of sparkling wine that has to be one of our faves.

Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what I was going to say is the reason I recommend sparkling wine is because it's a drink that's a bit celebratory. Like, who opens sparkling wine when they're depressed? And, you know, just that pop of that cork, it's like, oh, something special is about to happen. And then, of course, you know, the bubbles, they enter. That makes the alcohol enter your bloodstream a little faster, so you feel that little bit giddy. It also means that you'll tend to drink a little less because you feel it more quickly, which is also a very good thing when you're talking about romance. I hate the word moderation, but in reality, it becomes very important, you know, if. If your goal is an amorous pursuit.

Shall we say, to not lose your abilities in between, start to finish, to.

Get the full, you know, experience of the entire evening.

Exactly. There's that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I want to dive into your 12 foods, and I'm hoping that we have enough time for you to touch on each one and why you selected them. It was fascinating to read about them. Not all of them. I won't hold you to the test.

It's so funny. This is my first book. I've actually written four after this. And I used to. I remember when I was doing a book tour for this book and I could not remember. I. Now I have no idea what the 12 ingredients are. @ the time, I couldn't remember them to the point where I was thinking about tattooing them on my arm.

Well, we're going to go ahead and share them with you, so don't worry about that.

Don't do that. Well, you start out with almonds, which I didn't, I didn't think almonds were an aphrodisiac food. I don't know if our listeners are surprised as I was, but I didn't think almonds would be on the list. When I think of like, aphrodisiac foods, I think of like, oysters. I guess that's the, you know, maybe the, the normal go to. It's interesting, too. I don't know, I mean, might be interesting to ask is where do you go? Where it comes up for listeners when they think of aphrodisiac foods. Right? Yeah. Like, like what comes up for you? Where do you go?

Kind of a, a cosmic blank immediately. And then I don't know if it would have been almonds would have been first thing that rolled off my tongue. So. Please share with us, Amy. Why, why, why, why almonds?

So, by the way, these 12 ingredients are. I selected them because they're things that you could buy in pretty much any grocery store. I didn't want to put the exact, the things that you. I didn't want to put oysters on there, you know, sure. As you may, may or may not be able to get them or know how to shuck them or whatever. But, but almonds, I love almonds. Almonds is an aphrodisia. This is a good one for men. In fact, I have a list on eatsomethingsexy.com I'm gonna giggle every time I say that. I have a list of the 10 best foods for men's sexual health. Almonds on the list. Yes. Now, all nuts are actually great for men. But seriously, all they are, they're, they help support testosterone, but it's all about men's sexual health. As far as almonds go, you know, the nutrients in almonds are particularly good for men's sexual health. That being said, also good for women. Nuts are a great source of plant based protein. They also have fiber. And I know you wouldn't think of protein and fiber as like foods to turn you on and they may not. You know, protein and fiber aren't going to turn you on in that moment, but the protein's going to help you have a nice sustained performance and the fiber is going to help you. You need enough fiber to look and feel like your sexy self.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

The only, the only thing I've ever heard about fiber is it helps you poop. And so yeah, that's immediately, that's immediately where I go is like.

But that's, you gotta keep everything moving. You know, you don't, you don't blow. You get enough fiber, you're not gonna get bloated.

I love it. So it all works out in the end.

Like a Rolls Royce machine.

Yes, yes. I love that. And almonds for men's sexual health. So I guess that those are the, the ingredients that help stimulate the hormones and the rise of testosterone, etc. Oh, that's so great. Okay, food number two. Number two is chili. The spice of chili.

That's my favorite. It's actually not my favorite to eat, which is the funny thing. But to talk about as an aphrodisiac, chili is very exciting. It's one of the few foods that has an, that immediate effect. It is an absolute food of seduction if you want to plan a dinner, a romance where you want the other person to kind of get a little turned on. Chili peppers, as long as they don't mind spice, very important. But chili peppers, they make your tongue tingle, they make your lip, lips plump up, which makes you look a little more kissable. They can also bring a bit of a flush to your cheeks, which I'm told psychologically equates to a sexual flush. If the person, if the person across the table has chemistry with you, it starts to equate to a sex, sexual flush in their mind. And you eat enough, you can have like a, a rush of endorphins, your body temperature is rising, you're ready to tear off your clothes. It's really the perfect food.

For that seductive moment. So how do we know or if, like, if I were preparing a meal and I wanted to put just the right type or just the right amount of chili in my little dish to make you tear your clothes off, like, how much would that be?

Well, I mean, to get that sort of endorphin rush, you have to really eat a lot of chili. Most of us don't want to do that. There are some people who do. And for you, have fun. But you know, that little bit of chili, you'll know the, you know, the amount that you actually want to eat. If you like to go light on spice, then it's a very small amount. If you kind of like a meal with a bit of heat, then go for it.

I love it. The next one is one of my personal favorites, which is chocolate. And I read in the book it was one of your moms too, that she kind of inspired you with your love of chocolate.

As I just saw, you know, as I had a little time to regather because you sprung that question on me. I can't believe I didn't think of chocolate because I love chocolate.

Chocolate, yes. Chocolate is probably the ultimate like, at least in the United States. It's the ultimate like emblem of food, emblem of romance. It is. In fact, we did, my company did a study many years ago. It was a survey and the respondents, like, I think 90% of the respondents said they viewed chocolate as the ultimate romantic gift. They reviewed it as, you know, a food of romance. They were, they viewed it as a food they wanted to receive as a gift, particularly for Valentine's Day. Everybody loves to get chocolate.

And does it matter if it's dark versus milk chocolate?

So yes, yes is in terms of. Not in terms of getting it as a gift or, you know, feeling that, that love feeling from receiving the chocolate? No, but in terms of the aphrodisiac effects. It needs to be dark chocolate. I'm sorry milk chocolate lovers, but it's really all about the cacao. It's about that, that you're getting those aphrodisiac effects from cacao, which did you know it's one of the world's most complex foods. We really don't even understand it. No, we know, we know that it has a caffeine like effect, which is helpful in terms of romance. You get a little bit of a, you know, you get a little pick me up. We know that it can also be a little bit of a mood elevator. Apparently there, there have been, I don't know if you've heard rumors fly around about chocolate that it could actually even be orgasmic.

No. Yeah, but it makes sense.

It turns out, I mean, it turns out it's actually true. But a British scientist who apparently does not like fun, we figured out how much chocolate it would take, take to have that experience. And he, he estimated that the average sized woman would have to eat like 20 pounds of chocolate in one sitting or something crazy. So none of us are ever going to feel that it could be possible if you could eat that much chocolate. We're never going to get there.

So we just have to take ourselves there in our minds. I mean, there is something in the imagination or in the senses. Right. In regards to what you experience when you think of chocolate.

Yes, yes, definitely.

Yeah.

You know what, it's creamy and it melts in your mouth and it, you know, it's like, it's sweet but not too sweet. It usually has a fairly complex flavor. It's an exciting food just to eat, which I'm sure plays a part.

Well, you can melt it and you know, you can do all kinds of things with chocolate.

Absolutely.

And then it has this wonderful constitution that like hardens, you know, so you.

Can follow it with a swig of port. It's all over.

I think we know what we're doing for Valentine's Day. All right, all right. How about some figs?

Figs.

Figs. All figs. Figs are wonderful. Figs. I always think of women when I think of the fig. And I think, you know, the author D.H. lawrence had a bit of an obsession with figs and women and saying the fig look like a certain part of the woman.

I see that.

And so now I always think of women and figs. But I mean, I, but I see it like as this wonderful, sort of misty Ruben esque, kind of, you know, sensual woman. But again, figs have. Beyond my fantasies about figs, they, they also have a number of nutrients that support sexual health. And as you might have guessed, figs have a lot of fiber, which we've already covered. And so, you know, so a great aphrodisiac food. There they are, a sort of plump, sensual fruit that doesn't have too much sugar. So you're never going to get like a sugar rush because that's something you want to avoid because then you'll crash right when you're ready to like, you know, turn, really turn on the romance. So.

Yeah, got it. You get too tired or you get a headache.

Yeah, Bad thing.

Ginger. I love ginger and I was so delighted to see it in the book. Like, oh my gosh, I love Ginger and I love your reference to Ginger, but I'm going to let you tell the story.

I don't remember my reference to Ginger the giggly geisha.

Like the.

Yes, yes. So I do, I do love Ginger. And this is a Wonderful alternative to chili peppers. For anyone who doesn't like a lot of spice. Ginger has a lot of the same properties. It will. I don't know if you know this, but there are a lot of limp lip plumping glosses and lipsticks out there. They usually have a little ginger in them.

Really? And so it kind of stimulates.

It'll like to sort of do it as an irritant and it'll plump up your lips. So when you eat ginger, you can, you know, it. It can have that effect. And your tongue tingles a little and you warm up inside a little bit.

No wonder we love ginger. I do too. I love ginger. How about honey?

Oh, honey. Honey. Actually, if you, like, want a food that has some proven effects as aphrodisiac, go for honey. Honey can produce nitric oxide.

Wow.

Yeah, that could be really helpful, the whole blood flow thing. And, you know, it's. I mean, it's supposed to be good for men and women. So honey is right up there. And it has some other. I mean, it has, you know, obviously trace amounts of minerals, but they're all. They're all very good for you. Now, honey is one of those things like, you don't want a shot of honey because as we already talked about it is a simple sugar. And you'll have that crash. But. But a bit of honey is. Is a very, very good choice for you.

Okay. Mangoes. And by the way, I love sark too. She's one of my favorite authors.

Awesome.

Eating mangoes naked was something that was kind of a mantra, I think, for some of us women back in the early 90s. You know, like, gosh darn it, I can be sensuous and sexy and I don't have to feel ashamed about this anymore.

And eat mangoes naked. Well, really, mangoes are like a whole. Mango is so messy. Is there really any other way to eat it than naked? Because you're just kind of a mess at the end. So, you know, once I heard, oh, eat mangoes naked, I was like, oh, mangoes make so much more sense to me because if you eat them naked, you can enjoy every sensual moment of this very juicy, messy fruit. So there. I mean, mango, that's it. Mango is the juicy, messy fruit. And like, how can you not love that?

Yeah. And followed right along by peaches. I have the same experience with peaches as well that you have also listed in the book. The peaches are, you know, they do the same thing for me as mangoes to you. Is that your case too? Oh, run down your arms.

Oh, the juicy, messy fruit. You want to eat peaches naked too?

Yes.

And now, you know, the peach emoji is now being, is used as sort of as a, as a, like in, in a sexual context. Oh, peach is hot.

I did not know that. Listeners, you heard it first here, right inside the love. Is that peach. Peach emoji. If you're trying to flirt with somebody, how about mint?

Oh, mint. So mint is wonderful for so many reasons. It's one of my favorite herbs, personally. I mean, I think, I think it's just a versatile herb that kind of, not only it freshens your breath, it kind of just perks you up. So it's irresistible in that way. Again, it does have, although it's trace amounts of nutrients because you're not going to eat like a bowl full of mint like salad, but it does have nutrients to help support sexual health as well. But mostly I like it because it's the, it's the breath freshening herb. It's the kind of invigorating herb as well.

And they, and the sexual health properties. Does that go both ways for men and women?

Yeah, most of them do. Although, you know, you can say, well, this one is really better for men because X, you know, because men need more. Whatever, whatever or whatever. But the majority of, the majority of aphrodisia. I see you can say, yeah, it could, it could help both sexes.

Yes, well, and if you want to get a kiss, that's probably not a bad way to start. Right?

Exactly.

And, and I felt like there was this place now in the book where you start to lean towards more of the savory types of things. Right. It went from the sweets to. Now we're talking about rosemary and. Oh, I, I just the idea of rosemary. But tell us about rosemary.

You know, rosemary is my other favorite herb, which is why I put it in there. It's, you know, it's so versatile, but it's also, it's good for memory, which is very important. You know, you got to remember what the other person likes.

Right.

So tough. So, you know, aphrodisiacs don't just affect like sexual performance. There's a whole lot going on there. You need to, you need to have your brain working well. You need to have enough energy to last long, all of these things. And so rosemary slides in there into a little area that I kind of neglected otherwise.

And saffron comes right behind it.

Well, saffron is the luxury spice.

Tell us really.

I mean, you know, it's beautiful. It has this. It gives food this deep, rich color. It's the most expensive spice. In fact, I think it is the most expensive ingredient. I don't know currently. You know, these things fluctuate. But for a while there, it was the most expensive culinary ingredient, which, fortunately, you only need to use a tiny amount, so you're not going to go broke making a dinner with saffron. But it, you know, it's. That it lends that sense of luxury and opulence, that opulent color, that opulent aroma that it's just. And it's so unique. It's. It's a spice, but it gives, like, a savory, meaty quality to food. It's kind of an exciting spice. So saffron fits in there very nicely.

I. I love listening to her talk about food. Are you having that same experience? The way you talk about food is incredibly delicious. Vanilla.

Vanilla. How can you not love vanilla? Now, vanilla is a funny one. I. There was a study, and you've probably heard of it. The Smell and Taste Research Foundation. Study.

Study.

I hope I said their name right.

I haven't heard of it, but tell us.

So it was the one where they found out that the scent of Good and Plenty candy mixed with cucumber turned women on.

Oh, no. Yeah.

And pumpkin pie spice and lavender was the most arousing scent for men. So they did these. These were controlled studies where people were in a sleep state and these things aroused them. You know, they measured blood flow. But one of the things they found was that it was like you were. Women were attracted to older men. Like the scent of vanilla. Oh, no, no, I know what it was. The scent of vanilla was attractive to older men. So if you want to land a sugar daddy, apparently just, like, dab vanilla behind your ears. I mean, it was really intro. It was really bizarre. Glazed donuts were also big with both men and women.

Wow.

Interesting. Well, you know, where I go is, you know, in the fall, there's all kinds of, you know, jokes and. And yet they're true about women and their pumpkin pie, spice candles, you know, potpourri. Yeah. Aromatherapy types of things. Like, we go gaga all of a sudden for pumpkin pie spice. Right. Anything pumpkin. You know what?

Every time I see it, I just start laughing. Because, of course, I mean, that study is all I can think about for, like, an entire month. That's all I think about, is that study. And like, wow, I wonder how people are doing.

There must be something to that study.

Yeah, well, I mean, it really. It was legitimate, but it was just bizarre. The combinations of things that turned people on. That was. That was the fascinating part.

Yeah, that is fascinating when it comes to food. And you wouldn't think that food had those kinds of experiences. Experiences in us, and yet when we stop to slow down and think about them, they absolutely do. And I love what you said here in the book where you said when you began to experiment with these 12 ingredients that she showcases in her book. And then I want you to give us some menu ideas for this Valentine's Day that we're coming up with. Using these ingredients, you notice that the chosen ingredients begin to form these unique bonds with you. And you discovered that each ingredient brought out a different side of your personality, and that you could choose ingredients that changed your mood and enhanced whatever style of seductress you wanted to step into becoming. And that was a fascinating thought to me because I had never thought about, okay, how do we want the evening to go and how do I want to set it up? And, you know, what is it I would like to express about myself and which foods, you know, and. Or wines or beverages would pair nicely with where it is I want to go? And I just thought that was such a unique mindset to come from that hopefully inspires our listeners. Like, that's possible. That's possible when we start to bring these things together. And then, by the way, I want us to talk about venues, too, because I love that you have that as a part of the cookbook, where the venues are places where we can plan to have these wonderful, savory experiences and how that all ties into all of it. So I would love for you to take a minute and kind of pull that all together, and then in the end, we can share maybe perhaps a menu idea.

Okay. So. Well, it's funny, I. What I thought of when we were talking before this interview, you'd asked me if there's a song that I like to listen to while I cook to kind of get in that right mood. And my response was, and I totally forgot that I'd written this in the book. My response was, I change it depending on what I'm cooking.

Yes, you did.

So, yeah. So I still, you know, I very much have. Have always felt this way. It's like, well, what. What do I want to be today? What do I want this meal to be? And I will change everything about it. I'll change what plates I'm going to use or, you know, what size the servings are even, as well as what music and of course, what venue are we Going to eat it in front of a fire. I like to have a picnic in bed. Personally, that's a favorite of mine. The crumbs kind of bug me, but okay, I admit it. I'd like to have a picnic on top of the bed.

So that then we can climb in the covers.

No crumbs on my sheets, please.

Yes, well, and what about those of us who were taught you never eat in bed?

Like, oh, you got to be a rule breaker. It's exciting.

Come out of hiding. It's safe.

Well, you know, and in all, I mean, as you discuss, describe that, it just seems to make sense. You know, we have a wonderful mentor and person we highly respect, Trevor Blake. I mean, he's a physicist. And so I would. My first went like, well, now you're bringing some quantum. You know, these are not woo woo. Right? I mean, quantum. The more that we can. Everything is swirling energy. Right. I mean, we know that from our friend Trevor, who is a scientist, physicist, and we can prove that now. So the more that we can get.

All that stir up the energies of the venue and the food and the.

Music, you know, create the conditions that make the result inevitable.

Yeah. And do you choose an outfit for the evening as well?

Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I'm really into the outfit part. Yes, I do. If, if there's time. I mean, sometimes it's just like I just want this meal to speak for me and I'm just wearing the sweatpants I wore all day. But no, if I'm really. If I'm going all out, the outfit is definitely a part of it.

Yes. And so you're intentionally bringing. And this is the part that I really wanted to drive home. You know, the, the meal of aphrodisiac is this intentionality about, like you said, the plates and the food and the music and the outfits. Right. And the, the swirling of the mood in the air. And then you get to capitalize it by. This is what I'm hearing you say, the. The foods and what they mean and their textures and their feels as you feel them in your mouth and. Etc. Yeah, this sounds delicious.

I think I need to send you actually my second book. You're going to love this book even more. It's called Romancing the Stove. And in that book, I focused every recipe I tried whenever possible to have multiple temperatures and multiple textures in the dishes because I feel like it heightened the sensuality of the meal. That sensory awareness is very different when you're being challenged, when your senses are being challenged. And so that's what I. With that book, I really focused very hard on that. So I've got to send you that.

Oh, that would be incredible. I would definitely read it and dive into it. So venues that you pointed out and feel free.

Let's.

Let's share some venues just to kind of stir up some creative ideas here. One you highlighted right out of the gate is the kitchen, and it was called the second bedroom, which I cracked up about. Right. Clear the table.

Totally.

Yes.

And then is there anything you wanted to say about the kitchen?

Well, I mean, how big is your counter?

Well, it's pretty small, but I have a pretty good sized table. Oh, good.

Oh, good. Because I've got a big island. I designed my kitchen with a big island.

Ah, that was very intentional. We could eat standing up and then, of course, you know, use the table for other purposes. I love that idea.

Do.

How about living room? I mean, these are just some fun ideas that you wouldn't necessarily think that you could have a romantic dinner in. Right. A living room on the floor. Tom and I used to do picnics on the floor like that in front of the fireplace, right?

Yes.

It's perfect.

And I love the idea of the roaring fire. Like, our little place that we. We moved into doesn't have a fireplace, so we ordered an electric one. That's fantastic. And even blows heat out.

Oh, I love it. Oh, that's great. Right?

It's got to have a fire.

And I would think fire fireplace, you know, would be almost just right a notch or two, or maybe even with chocolate when, you know, the fireplace.

Put them together with the fort.

Yes.

Baby, baby, baby. How about the bathtub? Would you think of that as a venue, like, for a meal and. And some wonderful time to enjoy foods and each other?

I mean, it depends on how big your tub is.

Yes.

I was just gonna say, because my house had a very, very small tub. And in fact, when we. When we remodeled, I put in a very, very large tub. My very, very large tub would be a welcome, welcome spot for a romantic meal. But my old tub, no way.

And I don't even know. You'd have to get pretty creative to do one in a shower. But I suppose it's possible you got creative enough. Another fun one. A backyard, you know, something outdoors. Even if it's cold, you can bundle up. Right. Put out your blanket.

Absolutely.

And I just want to point out that these things are also very novel. And we talk about this in our follow the Fun segment. That novelty, it just reignites all of our senses. It's not the mundane, the same old thing that it really reignites and stimulates you to pay more attention. Right. To be present.

And I would say for us, you know, for the, for the. Let's just be non chauvinistic. For the male energy, shall we say? They think, oh good gracious. But I cannot overemphasize to that energy that is listening right now that it doesn't take a lot to move the needle with just a little bit of venturing into these places that we would quickly dismiss. Fair enough said. Fair enough. So I mean, guys, and the guy energy, believe me, it, it may like, oh my gosh, that's the last thing that I would want to do. But if we would just like, you know, we pound on this novelty and play what do little children do? That's all they do. And then when we get adult, we stop doing that, which is really ridiculous. So, you know, challenge yourself. Just take one of these and just, just. I mean, we're not talking about building a new house here.

Yeah, so true. You know, we have into the woods and we have Rocking the boat, which.

Is crazy self explanatory.

Yes. And, and something I would love to try, just so you know. And, and of course then we have our bed, which the bed doesn't just have to be for laying down. The bed could be for. For many, many things. So I love your venue idea. And so let's put it all together now and inspire us with how to put this romantic dinner together. Light some fire, baby.

So since I mentioned the champagne and sparkling wine, I'm gonna say start with that if it's what you like. There's a recipe for a saffron cocktail in Fork Me Spoon Me that that I really, really love. It's called the Saffron flirtation. And what you do is you toast the saffron threads. I had. Fortunately, I have a friend who is Indian and a very, very accomplished home cook. So he showed me how to toast and pulverize the saffron threads. Because originally I was trying it with just putting saffron threads in champagne because I thought, well, that's very pretty. He's like, oh, no, no, no. We're gonna, we're gonna take this up a notch. It does the most amazing thing to champagne.

Wow.

Wow. So you toast it actually, and then you sprinkle it in the champagne.

Then you sprinkle it in this. Now you don't want to, you want to do this with like a brute style champagne. You don't want to do with the Pink champagne, like I have. It gives it, like this savory quality. It makes. It gives it this huge voluptuous, almost meaty kind of flavor. It's amazing. Amazing. So that is a great way to start. It's so surprising, and it's beautiful and it's celebratory and it's so luxurious. And then for a meal, I always recommend choosing lighter foods. So, you know. And this is all based on your personal preference? I don't want to say, oh, everyone should do have. You know, we have an amazing baked Dungeness crab recipe on. Eat something sexy. Everyone should do that. Because not everyone wants to eat crab, but it would be a great choice. So do something that's a little lighter, whatever that means for you. Avoid things that people always think they want to have, or like a big steak or a big pasta dish, like a splurge kind of, you know, a quote splurge meal. Don't do that. On a rolling, romantic occasion. Fish is a great choice. That fish with mango sauce that we talked about. What a wonderful idea. It really is a wonderful idea. So choose something light. And apparently we need to end this meal with a box of dark chocolate truffles and some port, because that sounds like it's going to be a hit around here.

It does sound like it's going to be a hit around here. And. And why do you suggest something light? I'm just going to curious.

So when you eat something like, say, a steak, a heavy red meat, all your blood rushes to your stomach to digest the food, and you need to have the blood flow going. Exogenous zones. Yes, exactly. So you don't want to have a meal where your body is having to work to digest it. You're just gonna get sleepy, you're gonna get tired, and you're not gonna get turned on. So, yeah, lighter. Lighter foods are always a great choice.

Oh, I'm so glad I asked that question.

Well, think about. You don't want to feel like you just had a big turkey. Turkey dinner, you know, like you are on Thanksgiving. Everyone's laying on the floor. That probably wouldn't go so well.

Well, gosh. So if we go back to the beginning of the book where we started then, and there was a ch. Mango sauce. Fish. Mango sauce. Chocolate, white wine, red wine and strong cups of coffee. Yeah.

He so knew what he was doing.

I'm gonna say this guy was on it. He got coached by somebody really, really well informed.

Yeah, he was on it. That was perfect. And in fact, I know a lot of people Say, no, no, no. You don't end dinner with coffee. You want to go to bed. Really? You want to go to bed. What coffee. This is, you know, if it's a romantic meal, a little bit of coffee at the end of the meal is like one of the best choices you can make because not only will it give you a little pick me up a little energy, but it's also a mood elevator. So now you're in a really good. You've had your champagne and a little coffee. You're in a really good mood. You've had a nice, light but delicious meal. It's perfect.

Yeah. You've got that novelty and play playing out because you're having dinner somewhere new. Yes. And you've got the tunes playing in the background and you can see where. Okay. Strike while the mood is hot. Right. Is that how is that the saying?

Something like that? Yes.

I don't know, like while the mood is.

Or, or the, the traditional. I think it's strike while the iron.

Oh, yeah, true.

You're true. Yeah, true.

But I, I was, I was tracking you.

Okay. Well, Amy, my gosh, this has been so wonderful. I. We could, we could spend quite some time here. Let's give a book away while you're here with us before we say goodbye and part way, shall we? Don't worry. We're going to give another one away during our Follow the fun segment after a quick break here. But I would love to do this while you're here. I love it.

Yay.

So we're going to ask you to pick a number between 1 and 100, and then we'll have a lucky winner on the other side of this whole who is on our fun list.

Cool. Okay. Between 1 and 100. 73.

73. So that makes it easy. I can count back 25. Oh, wow. This is Amy. Amy@coaching.com. so, Amy, you are the winner.

Yes.

Fork me, spoon me. How perfect was that? Like that.

And share with us one more time. Where can people learn more about you and your wonderful body of work?

You can find me@eatsomethingsexy.com spelled just like it sounds. I didn't even laugh that time. And you know, if people have questions for me, I love to answer questions on Twitter. I'm very active on Twitter at forkmespoonme.

Beautiful.

I love that. Thanks so much. Happy Valentine's Day to you. It's been smoking wonderful to be here with you. Very tantalizing.

Yes.

Bye. Bye, Amy. So we're going to take a quick break and we're going to come back and give away another book here. So don't go away. And then we're going to talk about some. Can you feel it? And just really help you set the mood right here for upcoming Valentine's Day. We'll be right back. Hey, babe, did you know that the average couple spends only two hours a day with each other and the majority of that time is spent eating, watching TV and surfing social media rather than connecting with each other. And if children are involved, my gosh, it's even less time than that.

I know, babe. That's why you created our conversation cards for connection, because they're the perfect conversation starter. So the next time you're sitting on a couch, rather than turning on the TV or grabbing your phone, pull out a card and get ready for some good old fashioned laughter and loving connection.

Yeah, you can get your cards@staceybartley.com Working.

Hard to put a smile on your face. Alternative Talk 1150.

Welcome back inside the love shack.

Whoo.

That was smoking hot there. Thank you so much to Amy for setting our Valentine's Day right. If you will. We're going to step right into follow the fun and give another book. Another one, excuse me, of Amy's book away. Correct?

Yeah, absolutely. And we're going to need some wonderful help from our wonderful engineer extraordinaire, Eric, outside of number 73, which has already been taken.

And I'm sure Eric has taking copious notes to plan his Valentine's Day dinner as well. Right?

Yeah. Eric, what was your favorite part?

Oh, the lack of oysters.

I think that you live in Seattle. That's probably right. A welcomed. Do you have a lot of oysters that you come upon?

And yeah, there's, there's definitely plenty up here. But I'm not a fan and I wouldn't know the first thing about shucking them. So I, I, I was with her on that. You know, avoid the oysters.

I'm not an oyster fan either, so I was really happy she didn't include those as well.

All right, sir, what, what number speaking to you besides 73?

Let's go with 25.

25.

Okay. This is corkgmail.com and there's a whole nother piece on there. But corkblankgmail.com, you're also a winner and.

We'Ll reach out to you, we'll just ask you for a mailing address and off it will go to you.

Enjoy. And if you get us your physical address here quickly, when we reach out to you later this evening, we will get it off before Valentine's Day. There is incredible recipes in here. We didn't talk about this, but there are such wonderful recipes here. Drinks, desserts, appetizers, main courses, etc, so if you're not on our fun list, we're going to encourage you to get on our fun list because we absolutely give of giveaways like this the first of every month and on special occasions when we just feel like we want to as well. And so to set the mood now, like the final piece to our wonderful Valentine's dinners, we got to set the mood, right? We got to do the.

Is this a hard song for you to pick?

Oh, there's so many. But this one right here, Alina Barras and the Gallimites. I didn't think say that right Gala. Anyway, this urban flora right here. If Tom ever wants to get me in the mood, this is the one that he needs to put on. And I've actually done a teeny tiny bit of research where others have told me about this song and they too, and they wanted to get romantic or, or get, you know, some action going. They would put it on in the background and girls just happened to love this.

Just give a reminder, everything about if you're listening live. Thank you so much. We appreciate that. But, you know, just because we don't want you to write or if you're listening on, you know, everything is in one place. All of our show notes, all of our resources, in fact, we're really excited. Not too long ago, our daughter introduced. The full episode is transcribed as well if you want it. And it can all be found on our podcast page, if you will.

Yeah. And as the song says, you know, I can give you what you need. You make me feel all right. It's so sexy. So as Tom has already said, go check out our playlist and enjoy. You can have that playing in the background. So I think we've given you everything you need for an incredible Valentine's Day mood setter. Right? The food, the venue ideas, the music.

All it takes is your 100 buy in.

Yeah. And maybe a fun little outfit to top it all off. I can't wait to see what you wear. All right, it's time for us to say goodbye. It's great to be here with you. Happy Valentine's Day, whatever that means for you. And. And my recommendation is we do Valentine's Day all the time.

Well, not to be a, you know, a spoiler, but if Valentine's Day, like, you know, is like the farthest thing for where you find yourself right now, maybe with you and your special someone. Look, we understand that all kidding aside. So if you, this is, sometimes these types of days can be really difficult because you're not in a very good place. And I would just encourage you, you know, reach out to us, you know, crossing our fingers and hope that things go away is not a good strategy. And this is what we specialize in. So reach out to us. We'd be honored to assist you and help you take your next best step.

Oh, and you can always do one of these dinners for yourself.

Absolutely.

All right. Until we see you next time. Thanks so much for being here in the Love Shack with us today. Thank you, Amy Riley, for your delightful experience here with us, sharing your wonderful words of wisdom and inspiration. Come on back next week and we'll share more conversations with you around sex, love and relationships right here in the Love Shack until we see you again. Sending you off with a big squeeze. Bye bye for now.

Thanks for joining us today in the Love Shack. We hope you came away with something that made your toes tingle. To learn more about everything you heard on today's show, go to stacybartley.com podcast Love the Show. Help us spread the love by sharing the show with others. Okay, everybody, time to go. We gotta close the doors to the Love Shack for this week. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Come back next week, though, and join us for another edition of Love Shack Live with Tom and Stacy Bartley.