When It Comes To Love…take A Breath, Clear Your Breath, And Own Your Voice

Hey, thanks for coming. Welcome to the Love Shack.

Hey, welcome to the Love Shack, a little old place where we can get together and explore friends fresh perspectives, eavesdrop on juicy conversations and uncover mysteries that nobody talks about but absolutely influences our relationships. If you are struggling in your marriage, just starting out in a new relationship, or are single and looking to do better next time, this show is for you. My name is Stacey Bartley and I'm here with my co host and lover, Tom. Together for the past decade, we have been teaching and loving on people from around the world with the support purpose of helping individuals and couples to love more and fear less on their relationships, both with themselves and others.

And a quick shout out to our podcast listeners if you're catching this on the podcast. Wherever you, you, you, you get those. We sure appreciate that. And just a reminder that we Love Shack airs live on every Thursday at 1pm PST on 1150 KKNW. And I bring this up in case you ever find yourself wanting to catch it live and asking us a question. And wherever you are in this moment, we really appreciate you taking some time and spending it with us. And we've got an outstanding guest. I won't spoil who that is just yet.

Hey, yeah. Today on our show, Tom and I are going to be joined by the incredible musician and vocalist Kyle Martin, otherwise currently known as the Piano Man. And to gain his title, he auditioned for the role of Piano man and beat out over 30,000 men for the lead role. Incredible. I can only imagine how that must have been as an experience for him. Now you might be thinking, guys, I thought this was like a show on relationships. You know, I mean, I get that he's amazing and a vocalist and a musician and all, but I mean, I like that we gearing up for a show here. Like a performance. No, no, no. We're going to show you something here, the three of us together today, what we're going to talk about is why your voice matters in your relationship. It's all about owning your own unique voice, which you're going to come to discover. Matters a whole lot when it comes to matters of the heart. We'll be right back in a few moments to have that conversation.

Do you feel like your love life is on life support? It's time for a turbocharged relationship resuscitation with an alternative to marriage counseling. Head over to StacyBartly.com to learn more about their proprietary programs their clients use to save their relationships. S T A C I B A R t l e y.com visit stacybartley.com today.

Ready to learn the most important thing you can do to revitalize your relationship today? Go to stacybartley.com fairydust stacybartly.com fairydust this is the number one thing Stacy teaches her VIP clients that has the power to improve the health of your relationship.

Today.

Learn how sprinkling a little fairy dust in your relationship can stop arguments in their tracks. Rekindle your spark and take your difficult conversations from the struggle bus to easy street.

Are you tired of sitting on a couple's counselor's couch and feeling like you're just rehashing the past and making no progress? Do you feel like you're holding on to your relationship but panicked you're losing your partner? It's time to learn how to deepen your connection. Finally resolve the arguments that keep coming up. Understand yourself and your partner and create the level of intimacy you've been dreaming of. It's time for love to tingle your toes again. Schedule your private session with relationship expert stacey bartley@staceybartley.com checkup alternative talk 1150 on.

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Hey, welcome back. So today we're going to be talking with our guest Kyle Martin, and we're going to be talking about the topic of when it comes to love, believe it or not, it's time to take a breath and clear your throat and own your voice. I need you to understand that voices are not just for talking. They are used as an expression of who we are and who we have the capacity to become. They help us to pursue our dreams, help us take a stand when we need to, perhaps show up and love wholeheartedly, maybe take a stand for others or heck, you know, just be bold and own yourself. They're the key to helping us gain the courage to show up in life. And it's important that we learn how to do that because that's what robs us of most of the things that we desire, especially in our relationships. Your voice. Yes, all of you who are listening, your voice actually has the ability to provide you with courage and self confidence when you harness it. And that's why we've invited Kyle to come in and be a part with us here in this love shack today because he's used his voice to beat out over 30,000 men for a lead role in the Piano Man. And yes, he is talented. But the thing that Kyle has inspired in me is the importance of owning my own voice in expressing it Owning it, using it as the powerful tool that it truly is. It is truly a doorway to our personal power. So let me formally introduce Kyle. He is opening on Las Vegas as we speak right now, the Piano man show. So if you get a chance to check it out, you've absolutely got to. It's going to be the very first show that's opening post Covid. He's also been the star of Movin out on Broadway and has also led the lead, or, I'm sorry, also the lead singer and the award winning Joel, which is a Billy Joel tribute band. Kyle continues to delight audiences all over the United States as he packs theaters and arenas. And on a very small side note, and folks, very small side note, he just happens to be my personal voice teacher whom I adore. So, Kyle, welcome to the show. It's so great to have you here.

It's great to be here. Thank you so much, Stacey.

Yes. So today we want to talk about, of course, the importance of each of us finding and expressing our own voice. And as Kyle, I've shared with you, but I'll share it again for our listeners. That's been a heck of a journey for me in my life. It's always been too something, Right. Too bold, too big, too loud, too expressive, too flamboyant, too over the top love, too hard, too much, too often.

There's been a whole lot, a lot of twos there. Yeah. Yep.

And when you and I started doing our lessons, you said something that struck me to the core. And that's when you said, stacey, you have to understand that you and I sometimes do the same things. When people show up for a voice lesson, they're asking me, am I good enough? Right? Can I do this? Is my voice good enough? Can I do anything with this? Is this important? Or should I just stop and quit now? And you said to me, stace, it's really not about that because everybody has a really good voice if they develop it. The key is. Right. Understanding that when we express our voice is key to our identity. So what I would love for you out of the gate here is I kind of, you know, put it in my own words. But I would love for you as the voice teacher here, you know, the person that encourages people all around the world to do this, to maybe teach that principle for our listeners.

Sure. You know, I think, you know, being a voice teacher and being a performer and entertainer, you know, getting that whole kind of gamut about helping people find their voice. When people walk into my studio or they work with me for the first time, you know, as a voice teacher, we kind of laugh about it, that we take on the role of teaching music, teaching voice, teaching the mechanics of the voice, teaching technique and style and performance. But we also get the opportunity to invest in people's lives. And so when we invest in their lives, we get to find out a lot about them, and they're, you know, positives, their negatives, their insecurities. There's a. There's just a whole gamut of things. And I'll tell you, as things kind of go along, you know, you develop that. That. That friendship, but you've developed that. That kind of relationship with that person, and they end up sharing things a lot of times that they would in a. In a counselor's. Now, I do not pretend to be a counselor. I do not have my degree at all in counseling at all. So. So, you know, people are messed up because of me. I apologize. I'm just. But as a voice teacher, though, you know, giving my, you know, some anecdotal advice and so on, that's one of the things that we find ourselves kind of getting involved in. And one of the things that I found is when people walk into the studio or when people work with me online, they're very nervous about showing off their voice, and it's because they've been told at some point in their life that they're not good enough or they need to improve or they need to do whatever. Now, we all. I mean, it goes without saying, we all need to improve. That's just our life's goal, right? We want to be the best that we can be. However, the voice is one of those things that's attached so closely to our identity that when something happens to that or somebody tells us it's not good enough, it immediately affects who we think we are. So I can't tell you. That's one of the first things that people tell me, well, I'd never sing in public, or. No, you'll never be able to get me up on that stage. I'm like, are you sure? Are you sure about that? Because if they can't do that, then something has damaged their identity. And I think one of the things that we find that out the most is when we lose our voice. I think when we spend so much time finding our voice, that it's only until we realize that we've lost our voice that we realize the need to find it again. And so, you know, my mom is a great example of this. And, you know, when she was in junior High. She was in. She was in choir. And some lady behind her told her, said, hey, can you sing a little bit quieter for me? Because all you do is you're. You're throwing everybody off. And that stuck with her the rest of her life. And, you know, I can't tell you. And people that are listening right now, they probably experienced the same exact thing. Just one little, tiny comment just has affected their whole life. One little thing. And when it comes to our relationships, I can think back on relationships I've had. It's just that one little, tiny thing that we don't think about that all of a sudden snowballs into something that's bigger or something that's bigger, and it becomes just this big elephant in the room eventually. And then each of us in the relationship realize that we've kind of lost our identity in that one little, tiny, small thing.

I so agree with you. And, you know, and the work that we do, we teach that there's our physical body, and we all really relate to that, right? I mean, we. That makes sense. We can wrap our head around that. Everything seems to be physical, right? We can measure it, agree on it, quantify it, touch it, smell it. But then there's this thing called our emotional bodies, and it's very real, and it's just as real as our physical bodies, and it's part of who we are, right? And that one's a little more tricky because it's invisible, it's fluid, it's dynamic. And the darn thing can time travel on us, right? But our voices, an expression of ourselves, whether that be, you know, through singing or talking or sharing how we feel, what's going on for us, right? Or what's playing out in my thinking, right. Is where my body and my emotional body come together. And so many times when you're teaching me a lesson, Kyle, you'll say, okay, Stacey, you know, you've sung the words, but come on, you know, let's. Let's give me some emotion, give me some expression, right? And you've said to me again and again and again, okay, that's way more. More important than the words you're singing, right? To show up, right. And combine, yes, your ability to use the physical voice, but to put that emotional expression on it is everything, right? So I would love more of your thoughts on that.

Sure. You know, so, you know, emotion and technique. So when we're. When I teach a student, and I'm teaching you, Stacy, you know, I always have to write this fine line between techniques, emotion, and a Lot of times I find that, you know, we give up one for the other. A lot of times we want to sing so perfectly that we forget the emotional side of it. And, you know, it's that. It's that war of perfection and joy, right? So, you know, so I have to kind of remind myself and, you know, don't. Don't get me wrong. Technique and singing is very important. It will end up getting us exactly what we want on the emotional side. That's the great side about technique. But if we're focused so much on that technique, we forget the emotion and why we're doing it. There's the how and then there's the why. And the why is super important because, well, hey, you know, the audience, you, as the audience member, want to. Want to be moved. You want the reason why. You're gonna listen to this song, think about your favorite song for a moment and why you love that song. And I can tell you it's probably not because, wow, they have perfect technique. No, you're probably thinking, wow, because they move me. That song moves me. That person's voice moves me. That guitar lick, wow. The way that they do that is just so. It's so powerful. And music is probably one of the most emotional forms of speech that we can do. I mean, if we could just, you know, in our relationships, if we could just sing and play guitar, you know, throughout our whole marriage, throughout our whole relationship, that'd be perfect, don't you think? You know.

Sing me a song, maybe.

Yeah, I know, right? Honey, I need to. I need to talk to you for a moment, baby.

You know, Stacy is starting to sing to me all the time now, Kyle.

I love it. That's great, Tom. That's great.

He's my audience of one. Right. After our lesson last week, he says, wow, baby, you really belted that out. I was like, I know. That felt so good. And, you know, Kyle, and for listeners out there, I mean, working with your voice is just like kind of going to the gym. I drag myself in, right? Inevitably, before the lesson, it's like, okay, okay, yes. We're sitting down. We're going to do this. And then, you know, we go through the lesson, and I walk out going, that was so much fun. I feel so on fire right now. Right? I'm so glad I did that. And same thing next week. You know, you drag yourself in and you walk out on fire. And that's my experience right now as I work with owning my own voice. So that leads me to a question. I'm Dying to ask you, Kyle, which is, you know, you've done phenomenal things with your voice and listening to your music and such. I know that. It's the expression, like you said, it's that combination, or shall we say, that balance between owning and honing your physical abilities with your voice. You know, that technique you talked about and the expression that you put on top of it. And you're right. It's the expression that moves me. So I got to ask you, how is it that you learned how to embrace and own your own voice? And is that something that you still struggle with?

Oh, yeah, definitely. It's something I still struggle with, for sure. I think we all do. You know, there's. There's always this ebb and flow of finding our voice, losing our voice, finding our voice. And. And, you know, I think the most poignant moment for me and, you know, here I am on a relationship show. It was, you know, here I was, you know, on. On the stage singing in front of thousands of people. And, you know, my life during that time fell apart personally. And, you know, I can say this freely. You know, my. My. My ex wife and I, we are. We're actually quite close. We're good. We're really good friends. We're, you know, all that. But it was during a time that was very tumultuous during our marriage and our marriage, unfortunately, it fell apart. And I realized as a singer and as a performer before then, you know, it's easy as a performer to phone it in, to just get up there, to, you know, just do it night after night, the same show every night, and, you know, deliver enough to where people are like, wow, that's pretty cool. But how do you move it from pretty cool to, oh, my God, what just happened? That was amazing, you know, that with that extra wow factor. And, you know, they talk about how, you know, musicians, a lot of times we suffer. And I agree with that in a lot of ways. Now, it doesn't mean go out and look for things to suffer. No, I'm not saying that. But it just kind of naturally happens where all of a sudden, all those words that came, that I was singing night after night, they came alive. You know, every word became true, Every emotional inflection came true. And I knew that, you know, when my marriage was falling apart, the only thing that I could do, I was either going to be. I was going to be at the bottom of a bottle, or I was going to be performing the crap out of the song. And I'll tell you what, that Poor piano that I was playing felt every single emotion that I was pounding on that thing and that poor microphone. Oh, it was feeling everything. And I remember that very first show that I was back after, you know, after realizing, you know, the demise of my marriage and I, I was bawling my eyes out and. But every single note that was coming out was clear. Every note that was coming out was emotional. And the whole audience, not a single, there was not a single dry eye in the house. And the dancers that were out on the floor, they were carrying each other off stage going, oh my God, this is, this is, this is intense. This is absolutely intense. And I sang the song called Shameless. And you all probably know this is a Garth Brooks song, believe it or not. It is written by Billy and it was performed first by Billy Joel on his Storm Front album. So you can actually listen to that, that version of it as well. But excuse me, during the show, you know, we do, we do that song Shameless and it's at a very poignant moment in the, in the musical and that song, every, before every show I would always, you know, go, this is for my baby, this is for my love. And I would sing it. And then all of a sudden here's. It's not no longer there. And that, that pain just. Oh my God, I, that I remember at that moment, that's when I found my true voice. It was the voice of everything that I was stuffing down, everything that I was crying, crying out about. And that whole thing came to life so much so that the, the saxophonist that was in there, he, his, his mouth was on the, the reed of the, of the saxophone and it was just like, just hanging off of his lip right after the song. Meanwhile, I'm looking like a friggin blubbering mess here. And, and so he goes, dude, I have been with every single piano man since the beginning of this. I said that is the most amazing and the best Shameless I've ever heard in my whole life. And like it was bringing him to tears.

Oh, that's so cool. I think we had to give our listeners a little snippet of what you're capable of right now. Eric, could you play us a little snippet of Billy Joel, My Life? This is Kyle Martin performing.

Ooh, what you say anymore?

This is Kyle. Is that the saxophone player you were talking about?

Yeah, that's the saxophonist I was talking about. Yep, I love it. That's incredible. Jeff. Jeffrey Texan is, he's a three time Grammy nominated saxophonist and I'll Tell you the things he does with that. That saxophone. Oh, my God, I'm in awe. Absolutely in awe.

Yeah.

So, Kyle, let me ask. So when you were able to. To, you know, reach that place, you know, as you were, sounds like, you know, using it as a very cathartic process, you know, realizing what, you know, what you're going through in your marriage and where that was going. Have you. Have you been ever able to access that again, or do you now able to know when you're at that place just from a performance standpoint?

That's such a good question. You know, there's nothing as potent as Right when you go through the thick of it. Sure. But we always remember, I think whenever whatever emotion, whatever powerful emotion we go through, it always leaves a scar, and it always reminds us where to kind of go back to if we need to. And, you know, yeah, I do go back to that spot every now and then. You know, I try to keep myself kind of on edge every now and then, you know, just so that I can, you know, know when to access that. Whenever we're feeling that. That. That. That heartbeat going a little bit faster and that adrenaline rush going a little bit. A little bit more rushed, you know, it's. I do kind of grab onto that or something like that so that I can emulate a bit of that. That. That emotion. The great thing about this show in particular that we're doing in Vegas right now, it's just. It's very high energy. And, you know, there's. There's songs of love. There's not a whole lot of songs of heartbreak, but there's a lot of songs that are just absolutely. Just high energy and fun and just, you know. You know, we do, like some Elton John songs in there, too. So, you know, when we get to Saturday nights, all right, for. I mean, you know, we're just like, you know, we're in your face. You know, it's just. It's so much fun. And so, you know, the great thing about, you know, the emotion that I grabbed onto through this experience and the demise of my marriage was. I think it was a pathway to a lot more things in accessing more extremes of the fun, of the happiness, of the joy, and not just the anger.

You know, what you're describing is the polarity in the world that we live in, right? And I feel our physical bodies and our emotional bodies are a part of that polarity. Right? And so is that the anger and the joy and the pain. And I like to say, you know, there's A four letter word that's going to be a part of every single relationship that you've ever been in or will ever be in. Right. And most people can't guess what that is. It doesn't start with L and doesn't start with L.

And no one usually guesses it, ever.

I've done this as a hangman exercise in some of our live workshops. Right. And the, and the four letter word is pain. Because every relationship that you've ever been in that means something to you is at some point in time going to like, break your heart. You're going to disappoint somebody or yourself, right. You're going to say something stupid, you're going to react to something that punches you in the gut. And it's just part of the deal, it's part of the ride, it's part of managing that polarity. And so ofttimes, it's the pain. I loved what you said when you said it kind of leaves a scar that you can go back to and remember. Not beat yourself up over, for heaven's sakes, but go to and remember. Right. Because it was there to teach you something. So I got to ask you, how has owning your voice now carried over into your personal life as you went through this experience with your, your first wife? I don't know if it was your first wife or second wife.

Yeah, it was my first. My first wife, yeah. My eighth wife.

Well, and you had said, you know, you, the voice comes and it goes and it comes and it goes. You know, you find it, you lose it.

Ok, let's be a little bit more figurative in our speech here. We got. No, it's my first wife here.

Well, and wait a minute, before you say that, I have one more thing to say. It depends on how we're counting, right? Are we talking marriage or are we talking lovers?

We're talking.

Oh, 23.

No, I'm just, I cannot answer that question. I.

Don'T answer that, Kyle.

No, no, not. Don't worry how that's bled over into my personal life, you know, and I think the person that I'm singing a lot of his music, Billy Joel, and accessing a lot of his traits, his, you know, I know there's one particular word I cannot say on live air, but you know, his very famous phrases, I don't take, you know, what from anybody and start with an S or an F s and we'll do a hangman game later and you can guess which one that is. But a lot of that had kind of bled Into. Into my personal life. And, you know, I'm realizing, you know, it is kind of an awakening for me where I realized how much of my life I was being taken advantage of. And I think a lot of times in our relationships, we realize how much, you know, either we're giving or we're taking. And a lot of times, you know, I realized, too, you know, I wasn't without fault, you know, you know, in any type of relationship, you know, you realize, you know, it takes two to tango. And, you know, I do not pretend to be the most perfect husband. I don't pretend to be the perfect person. But, you know, where it kind of led into my life was being able to take a strong stand and finding my own voice and being able to stand up for myself and saying and verbalizing what I will accept and what I won't accept. And, you know, I think a lot of it, too. I got married when I was 20, and so it was like, you know, two years out of. Out of. Out of high school. I met my wife right at 18. And so I hadn't had a whole lot of time to, you know, find myself or, you know, I love those people that, like, come in. They're like, I'm gonna go on a trip to Europe, and I'm gonna backpack, and I'm gonna, you know, find out who I am. I'm like, let me know when you find out, you know. You know, it's like I'm envying that you can go to Europe in the first place. But, you know, a lot of. A lot of times we just get involved in this life. We don't find out who we are, and so we become captive to, you know, what we're defined as, you know, and I was defined as a husband and as a father and, you know, at a very early age. Well, so.

Oh, no, Jeff, I'm sorry. I was just going to say, you know, so many of us feel like when we step into relationships with others that it is all about giving. You know, it's kind of like we make this pack that, hey, I'm going to forsake myself and only be concerned about what you want, and you're going to do the same for me. Oh, my gosh. This is, like, so soulmate, and it's not how it works at all. That's the minute you start to lose your voice or lose a sense of yourself. And, you know, so true. We dance and navigate that ebb and flow, right? Which has everything to do with owning your voice, because if you lose that voice and you can't advocate for yourself. You won't communicate what you need or what you want or what's important to you or valuable to you or what's not working for you. Right? Then we go along with and one of two things is going to happen. We have two really incredible ways of dealing with this. The first one is I'm going to rip your face off. I'm going to control the show. I'm going to tell you every little teeny tiny thing you're doing that is messed up and off base and ridiculous and please, you know, why are you doing that? Or I'm going to go into a collapsed state where it's whatever, it doesn't matter. Do whatever you want, right? I go quiet. And we usually choose one of those two extremes when we don't know how to own our voice and stand and use it, right? And so I think it's so, so, so important. And I can only say as a firsthand experience that the more I allow my voice to sing and I felt like I had a pretty good handle on owning my voice. I've had my fanny kicked around the block a time or two, just like most of us do before we find it and own it. But there's still levels and layers. It's amazing when you start exploring it. Oh my gosh, there's still so much to do and there's still so many places to go. And you're helping me like dig far down in there, right, and like pull out things that I like you on that stage crying haven't experienced in a really, really, really long time. And so it's amazing that singing and that kind of thing can, can do that for us. So how about this, Kyle? How about if we, we take a break, one more break and we'll come back and maybe you can like run us through like a few minute exercise, like how listeners can like follow along and you could give us a little voice lesson, some little warm up exercises or something.

That sounds, that sounds fun. Very fun.

Okay, we'll be right back.

Are you tired of sitting on a couple's counselor's couch and feeling like you're just rehashing the past and making no progress? Do you feel like you're holding on to your relationship but panicked you're losing your partner? It's time to learn how to deepen your connection. Finally resolve the arguments that keep coming up. Understand yourself and your partner and create the level of intimacy you've been dreaming of. It's time for love to tingle your toes again. Schedule your private session with relationship expert stacey bartley@staceybartley.com checkup.

Ready to learn the most important thing you can do to revitalize your relationship today? Go to stacybartley.com fairydust staceybartley.com.

This is.

The number one thing Stacy teaches her VIP clients that has the power to improve the health of your relationship.

Today.

Learn how sprinkling a little fairy dust in your relationship can stop arguments in their tracks. Rekindle your spark and take your difficult conversations from the struggle bus to easy street.

Do you feel like your love life is on life support? It's time for a turbocharged relationship resuscitation with an alternative to marriage counseling. Head over to stacybartley.com to learn more about their proprietary programs their clients use to save their relationships. S T A C I B A R T L e y visit stacybartley.com today Alternative Talk 11:50 the Talk of the sound.

Ooh la la. For those of you who are just joining us, we are having a wonderful conversation with Kyle Martin, who currently is the piano man on the Las Vegas strip, incredible musician and happens to be my personal voice teacher. He's about ready to give us some exercises that we can do to kind of help stepping into owning our voices because it absolutely plays out into our life and into our relationships and our ability to take a courageous stand for ourselves or express what it is we want to say and do. And so, Kyle, take it away. Give us all voice lesson, please.

Sure, sure. Well, before, before I actually get into the actual singing portion, I just, I just want to say to the listeners out there how, how different age groups and different people, you have to read that situation. Me, as a voice teacher have to read that situation quite significantly. You know, when somebody walks in that they're 10 years old, I'm not going to get very cathartic with them. But when they're, you know, they're, you know, when they kind of, you know, have that emotional block or something, sometimes we kind of go into that. But one of the things in order to find our voice is realizing, okay, first of all, what are my, what are the things that I'm scared of doing? And I find that a lot of singers are scared of this one little, little tiny thing and, but it becomes absolutely amplified and it's called the crack or the break. And we always have that in our voice. It's that area right in the middle of our voice where we kind of go, you know, that kind of thing. And so what we do as Human beings, we don't like that. We don't like that sound. So guess what we do? We avoid it. So rather than go through it and rather than embrace it and realize, okay, that's gonna go away over time. But the more that we try to control our voice, the more that crack is going to be there. Okay, so. So what I want to do first of all, is I want to show everybody first of all, that they actually have a voice. How many people out in the audience, you know, you can take a personal stock. How many people believe that they can't hit high notes or that they can't. That they sing just only extremely low or they only sing extremely high or, you know, there's. There's different things that people have told them. So I don't like limitations on the voice at all. So I'm going to show you just really quickly, you guys can do this in the comfort of your own car, your home, whatever. I want everybody to say this for me. Just real nice. E. So E. Good. Now we're going to take that a little higher, and I want you to go and sigh that out from the top. So like that. There was some harmony there. It was nice. Very nice.

We've been practicing here.

Yeah, I see this. Yes, yes. So back at home now I want everybody to go like that.

Oh, boy.

Tom's looking at me.

That's a little bit more difficult.

Do that one more time. Kyle, give me one more.

Sure, no problem. Oh, that was beautiful. You better use that as a promo, I'm telling you. Yeah, we will. Now, if you notice, if you did this at home, and of course, you and Stacy and Tom, you guys tried this as well, and you notice you actually went to an extremely high note up there. So what that means is, guess what? You do have range. You completely have range. Now, the E is a very powerful vowel. The E is what we call at the top of the enharmonic scale. So I'm going to get a little scientific with you for a moment. That E is at the top of the enharmonic scale. That's the area that you can hit an E nicely, and it can cut above everything else. Okay. We're used to finding our voice in the low range, where we're kind of going, ah, hi. How are you? Very forceful, very authoritative. How's it going? And you must have that if you're gonna sing. Not necessarily. You know, if you have other instruments playing around you. You don't just want to belt things out and just get really loud. Otherwise, Your voice is gonna be gone, you know, very, very shortly. So if you take advantage of that frequency up there on the top that he. You hear that, you hear how clear that sound is, Is he. Okay, so that's, that's one of the best ways to find out. Oh, I actually do have a voice up there, especially on the top area. Now you heard in my voice where I had that middle area where I didn't do a whole lot of this and some of you probably did that. Okay, that's okay. Pat yourself on the back because. Yeah, that's, that's actually a good thing. All right. And I'm actually going to expose that for a moment. And so we're going to change the vowel. So I want you guys to do this. Ooh. So I want you to, you know, get those lips out. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Okay, like about ready to sip on a straw there. Okay, so you're going to do a. Okay, let's try that all together. Here we go. And. Very nice. Good. Now if you notice, I noticed, Tom, you went higher than when you did that. E. That was kind of cool. Yeah, nice. Ooh is another very, very special vowel because it's what, it's a very self focusing vowel. And it's also a release valve. So that ooh helps you release into the higher ranges. So think about being in a crowd. You're like, you know, you see, you see a touchdown, you see a basket being made and you're like, like, ooh, ah, woo. You know, and you know, when we're at a, when we're at a game, you never notice we're never going like this. Woo.

Yeah.

Yeah. Oh my gosh, he scored a touchdown. Woo. No, we're going like this. We're going woo. Okay. And when we do that, immediately we have that range and it's a nice clarity. So when we sing, we can do that same exact thing. So in that top range for a moment, I want everybody to take this here. I think you can hear this piano maybe a little bit. So we're gonna take it actually, we're gonna take it right here, Right above that bridge area. Okay, let's try that together. Here we go. Okay. And we're going to take it up just one more and let's see what happens here. Very good, very good. Now immediately in our minds, when we go up higher, we're going. We're living in this upper region and this is the area that we have a lot of emotion. I can tell you as a Singer. It's those high notes that everybody just relaxes and just like, oh, my gosh, that's amazing. You know, there's this. There's a singer, Dimash. I don't know if you guys ever heard of him, but he was on some type of America's Got or Britain's Got Talent or some. Some type of Got Talent show or whatever. And this guy, he sings really, really low. But then all of a sudden he gets like into those extreme high notes where you're just going, oh, my God. And of course, the very first thing we think about is, I could never do that.

Yeah.

Are you sure? Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Are you sure you can't do that?

Gosh, Kyle, that's interesting that you say the high notes are more emotional notes for us. I guess it's really true.

A lot of it is, but it's also in those higher notes are where we're more out of control because we're using a different muscle set than our lower notes, interestingly enough. So. So it's easy to stay because we live there in the bottom range. We're like, hi, how are you? How's it going? And we're there constantly, especially when we're talking, especially, you know, so we get used to that and we become pretty numb to it. It's those high, high notes or those high regions where we're, you know, getting really. I don't know if I can do it. I don't. Oh, man. And so to reach that next level, we have to, in a lot of sense, let go and let go of control. Now, I don't know if this is a great parallel to things we need to do in our lives. I have no idea. But, you know, these are. These are things that, you know, when. When I hear singers actually be able to get up into those upper regions, they release a lot more of their emotion. It's a fantastic little phenomenon that happens. So.

Absolutely. One. And, you know, even when we're expressing emotions, you know, my voice is going to go up when I'm escalating or I'm getting charged in the body. You know, think about when we get upset. I'm going. I mean, it's like, yeah, I was absolutely. We go higher. The more emotional, intense it gets, you know.

Well, I mean, I was just as, as, as. Excuse me, Kyle. As you were sharing that, I was thinking, you know, because we talk a lot when we're triggered, you know, I mean, so that's interesting, your description. The other parallels are very similar. Not, you Know, but we don't realize that is when we're triggered, you know, what happens to our voice.

And that's why you were saying when you're at a game, you know, and you go, yay. Notice. No, it's not.

That was amazing.

It's like, yeah, when I moved, I go high. Whether that's, you know, on the scale of getting up upset or that's the scale of celebration, you know, yahoo. I mean, these are all like, like in the top of our voice ranges, which is wonderful. The other principle in music that I think really, really applies to relationships, I'm just going to throw this out there that I used to teach with a lot is the space between the notes makes the music. Meaning if I'm going to pound on an issue again over and over and over again, I'm just going to pound on it and pound on it and pound on it. Right. There's not going to ever be a breakthrough or a melody or understanding. Right. Because I have to have that space. And it's important to cause the space to happen between the notes that we say the things we do. Right. The life that we live. And I love that music theory of the space between the notes makes the music. And it's so true, so true.

There's something very poignant that's very, very, very profound. Yeah. And I agree with that in a lot of ways, you know, and I think we, you know, when we deal with music, it is those areas in between the notes. It's, you know, when we're talking about just the space, the silence a lot of times is a lot more louder than the actual notes or the words that we're saying. And a lot of people, when they sing, they forget that silence is important. Silence is so important. You know, when we're talking. I was just reading something the other day. It was actually hysterical. You know, one of the Halloween's coming up here, so I think, you know, we can all appreciate the scariest thing during Halloween would be a house full of women saying I'm fine.

That would be pretty terrifying. I love that.

But I think how they say is like, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm just fine. I don't think it doesn't matter what pitch you say, that's scary.

So it's so true. Let's. I love that, Kyle. Let's open up our lines for a minute and see if anybody wants to call in and kind of chime in and share some things with us, what they're noticing. I'd like to give that opportunity to people if you want to. And if you don't, we're just going to keep talking and singing anyway.

So let's give it a shot here.

Yeah.

Eric, you got to remind me of what the station number is and Tom will give you the time. You go first, Eric.

Okay. You can call in at 425-3735-527 or 888-2985-569. But you got to be quick. We've only got about nine minutes left in the show.

Eric, did you just go, oh, my gosh. She's going to open this up for questions. How is she? I thought we agreed.

If we can squeeze in one or two.

There you go. And if you want to text us a question, you know what? Sometimes I know it's, you know, we got it. You got to use your voice. Here we are. We're going to encourage you to use voice. But if that's not. That doesn't work for you, you can always text us to 601-207-0080.

Yeah, I mean, you know, really, at the end of the day, our ability to show up matters so much, and it impacts everything. Like we were saying in the beginning of the show, it impacts my ability to pursue a dream, to sing on a stage, to advocate for myself when I. When it matters. Right. Or even when it just matters to me. It's okay for us to be able to show up and advocate. And that's a lot of what we do is teach people how to advocate. Because once we sell our soul and make that pact of saying, I'm going to stop caring about me and what goes on for me, and I'm only going to focus on what makes other people happy. That's the minute that we start to lose ourselves, and that's the minute that our relationships also began to break down. Because it's our job to teach everybody in my life. Right. How to love me best. And if I'm not showing up and advocating for that and I'm not doing that, then it's not going to happen. So. Awesome. Well, gosh, Eric, it looks like we have a caller.

We do. We've got Judy from Seattle on the line with a question.

I love it. Hi, Judy. Welcome. Hi. Thank you. I want to know how to increase.

The volume in my voice because it.

Causes problems at work. Meaning. I'll let you take that one, Kyle, but I just want to get some clarity. Meaning you don't feel like you're heard because your voice isn't loud.

Enough.

Yes.

People have trouble hearing me. I love now. So there's some things. And Julie, thank you so much for calling. It's such a great question. I think, you know, there's a couple things. Physiologically, there's also emotional. I think, you know, when. When we have more kind of a subdued voice and then we feel like we really have to push our voice out. A lot of times that's. That's not the proper way to do that. You know, part of it is breathing, and part of it is making sure that we can get our vocal folds together to the point where we can get a nice clarity of sound, and that's really important. Now, the one thing, you know, as men and women, the one thing we never want to come across as, we never want to come across as shrill. We never want to come across as, you know, the wrong emotion that we. That we don't want to come across as. So what I like to do is, you know, do a couple things. First of all, I want to make sure that, you know, for your voice specifically, you know, you can have a little bit more oomph. Make sure when you breathe in, your belly comes out. Okay. And make sure that when you breathe in as well, you're not raising your shoulders, because otherwise you're going to create a lot of tension here in the. In the throat area. So I want to make sure that belly comes all the way out. I call it fat belly. So, you know, and that's something I'm obviously very self conscious about as well. But when we breathe in, belly comes out and then blow that air out. Okay? Okay. And a lot of times when we're. When we're thinking about our breath, it calms us down as well. So a lot of times when we're trying to get our voice heard, we get very emotional, we get very nervous. And so when we think about our breath for a moment, we actually calm down. The other thing is we want to make sure that we have that nice clarity of tone. And I hear in your voice a little bit, there's a little bit of raspiness that's in there, and there's a whole host of reasons as to why that would happen. Everything from allergies to acid reflux to, you know, so on and so forth, but, you know, so making sure that our vocal folds can come together. You know, remember when, you know, you cook a meal or maybe your mom had cooked a meal, where you walk in and you're like, Let's try that together. Let's do it. Okay. Now, if you notice that that actually creates a little bit more of an edgier sound. So that. That edgy sound is what you want to let it ride a little bit more. And then when you talk. Hi, I have something that I need to say. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. And so what happens with that is you're able to kind of find that voice a little bit more. I'll tell you one thing. If you are dealing with acid reflux or you're dealing with allergies and you're dealing with a bit more of that raspy voice, there are great ways. You can always consult with your doctor as well about the best ways to help fix that as well.

Yeah. And I want to add something, if I may, and jump in here, please.

Yes.

I would really encourage you to. In the quiet moments of your own life. I can hear that also there. There's some emotional hold back here. And just. Just saying open up your voice and breathe, just like Kyle's telling you. And do these exercises, right, and do them with some robust and gusto and just practicing letting go. I think that would also be helpful. Kyle, do you agree?

I think I would agree. And I also would add one more thing. Definitely. You know, when you want your voice to be heard, role play, role play at home, you know, write out the things that you want to say and then practice how you say them. It's not just what you say, but it's also how you say it. So practice it with taking that breath in and a little bit more edgy voice as you enunciate everything that you're trying to say. Does that help you? Does that help you, Judy?

Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you for calling in, Judy. Well, gosh darn it. Our time has come to a close.

Oh, no.

I know. It's time to wrap up for the day. Thank you. Thank you so much, Kyle. I just want to give a shout out. The voicewire.com is where you can go and investigate doing some lessons with Kyle or one of his incredible associates. Also, you can go to our show site and you can get some information on where to get some tickets to Kyle's show. Is there any last words you want to say, Kyle, as we sign off here?

Just remember, it's TheVoiceWire.com and just make sure you put the. The at the beginning there. And then, yeah, come on out to the show. I guarantee you guys are going to have an absolute blast. You know, I thank the audience every single night for helping bring back live entertainment. And I can tell you in this difficult time where the music has basically shut off, I can tell you we're dealing with a lot more emotional issues because we are not having music in our lives. And so anything that you guys can do to help, help support the arts and support everybody's voice being heard, I can tell you. Oh, and go vote, please.

Yes. I love. I love that. That's awesome. And thank you again, Kyle. I love it. And thank you so much for being on the show with us today. It's been such a pleasure, Kyle. Thank you so much. Thanks to our listeners. And thank you, Judy, for calling in. I appreciate that. If we didn't get to you, come back next week. We'll do it all again. Speaking of next week, we're going to have a communicator, a master communicator and teacher on the show, so. So don't miss it. We'll see you back then. And know that we send you incredible love along with the power to create it in your life today. Have a beautiful week, you guys. Kyle, thanks again.

Thank you.