Life's Obstacles become Life's Treasures, Life Beyond Cancer

Lauren, you're such an inspiring being. And we've just had the synergy and connection ever since we met. I think going through the journey and having deaf faces and realizing the reality that we made a choice to walk through it and to share inspired moments with people in the world. Since I work in a day spa, that's one of the things that I really pride myself on, that my team is a change maker and we're day makers every single day. And one of the things that I've realized is that we have the opportunity to share inspired moments or sharing positive alternatives every single day. Can you tell me of a time that maybe you were in the spa world, salon world, with a group of women where you were able to teach somebody a lesson or you received a lesson that you could pass on to somebody else?

Sure, Absolutely. I went to Canyon Ranch at one point in the midst of my chemo, and I was so weak at the time because I was in the middle of AC chemo and so depleted, physically speaking. But my spiritual being was very empowered. I went there bald and breastless and walked around in the freedom of my spirit without any concern to my breasts or my hair. And it was very, very powerful because that evoked an instant connection with humanity and the people that were around me at the spa. Lots of questions, lots of curiosity, which ended up leading to phenomenal conversations, reconnection and opportunity to inspire people to remember we're not our hair, we're not our breasts, we're spiritual beings having a physical experience. And. And this is a wonderful earth suit that God has blessed us with. However, it doesn't define us. What defines us is our connection with our soul, which the spa atmosphere is so conducive to. And liberation to simply be who you are without fear of what will the world think or wonderings of. How will I be able to handle this? You know, yourself to be okay. And the spa experience and the opportunities that I had to sit down with women who were curious, you know, what's it like being bald? What's it like having. It's hard. Yeah. What's it like not having any breasts? How do you have the courage to walk out.

Without any hair in the public? The thing that's most fascinating is, remember in psychology, my background psychology, in my deviant psychology classes, we had to do things that would evoke curiosity and shock responses in humanity. So when I was bald, I flashed back to the deviant psych classes and thought, what a wonderful opportunity to offer connection instantly. So in that environment, there was plenty of Connection that was going on simply because of the curiosity, can I do this, too? Can I actually walk out in public? And it takes a while. I'm going for it.

Did you find it harder? Was it harder for you to lose your breasts or harder for you to lose your hair?

Hair.

Me too.

Because that's what everybody sees when they see me. And they saw, okay, woman under 40 years old, no hair, three kids, what's going on? Instantly, you have a portal of connection. Because nothing connects the hearts of humanity faster than suffering and vulnerability. So when you give yourself permission to feel safe in the experience of the vulnerability, with or without hair, which is a phenomenal opportunity for inner growth, you also give yourself permission to link to the hearts of humanity like never before. That's true, and it's wonderful because love and vulnerability evoke love and vulnerability.

When you were talking about how you could break that barrier, I think it did. It allowed the opportunity for conversation to come up, and it allowed. I'm sure it was really hard. And probably still. I know one of the things that happens when I go in and have a spa experience and any medical conditions you want to know, it's like I've never taken the time to get the reconstruction. It's like. So I don't want to shock or scare anybody because they're not expecting somebody that to them looks all put together. And all of a sudden you take your breasts off.

No, no, I remember that. I know, I know. And then the breasts are sitting in the bra on the little bench.

My nephew came running into the bathroom. Aunt Susan, why is your boob on the bathroom?

There's a scary little moment.

No, it's true.

Like, forget. And the same thing about the hair. And there's so many crazy wig stories. I'm sure that you have.

Oh, oh, crazy wig stories. I remember people, you know, looking at me and I, you know, again, just curious. It's the response of humanity. And I would take my hair and itch it and then pull it to the side and then see my peripheral vision, what just happened.

Because humor heals the soul. So any moment that I could laugh. I remember dancing one time and my wig fell off. And as they dipped me and it fell to the floor and the guy was mortified. It was at my cousin's wedding. And I said, don't worry about it.

I'll shake it out.

I just took it and put it back on, and I looked like cousin it for a little bit, and then I straightened it out and kept dancing.

Did you find, though, that it probably took a couple of months to do something.

Oh, absolutely.

No, no, no.

The first time it was mechanical. I remember I'm going to walk out my door, up my street and around the area and I had to do some deep breathing, practice some of my stress relief skills, and then get and say to myself, even though I'm bald and restless, I'm willing to love and accept myself anyway and just continually say that mantra. And I started walking taller and taller as I allowed that to resonate and connect within my being.

Very good. Sometimes I think, you know, when we take our outer suit off, then we can bring our inner suit to everyone else and it just like changes. It's just, it makes it such a big difference. But there with those few weeks. I know the first time that I got out of the house without the wig and I got downtown and I just realized we changed cars quickly. We were taking my granddaughter to a ballet and my daughter had another car done. And I was so used to running out of the house. It was kind of fun to be able to shake and just put it on.

I know, do your hair at night.

And put it on in the morning. There were some benefits, but the realization is like, I don't have any hair.

I know that would hit me sometimes too.

It's like, I can't do that. And I looked at her and she had a ball cap on. I said, I want your ball cap. My hair looks awful. I said, I don't care. You have hair.

I don't.

You're getting that.

Give me the cap. I definitely identify with that. It's at first mechanical, but then when you realize the lips of it of just, wow, I can actually love and accept myself even though I'm bald. And then think about that when you do have the restoration and the regrowth. I never forget that looking in the mirror. I get ready in like half the time. I know there's not that attachment. And an attachment is an emotional state of clinging that results in a lot of anxiety. So the more we release the attachment, the attachments in life, the freer we become.

Just being able to give that to other women.

Oh, absolutely. It's wonderful.

There is life after.

Yes, there is.

And take care of yourself. I think though, it's the one thing when you're going through it that you're just so afraid because like you said, your earth suit is a little bit defected. And sometimes you get so reserved that you don't want to go back and give back. But there's so much healing and release. One of the things that I. Luckily being in the spa world, I was able to go in and have anti stress treatments and use thalassotherapy and seaweed to help get the toxins out of my body a little bit quicker. But some people get so wrapped up and so afraid to do that because they're afraid of what somebody's going to think.

Absolutely.

And you miss out on so much, not only healing, but just time for yourself to nurture yourself.

Yeah, it's the drug of approval. And we've all been drugs since we were little and it started when we were very little and somebody said, oh, don't do that or do this. And we do a little dance and someone says, wow, that's great, you're doing a little dance. So we do a little dance, a little more, a little more, a little more. And soon we're dancing for the outside world instead of our inner soul in connection to God. And so going through the detachment of the things that are non essential and not part of the infinite game of life truly lends itself to changing the world and moving mountains.

Right. And changing ourselves and giving ourselves permission. Because it's kind of like I think you live your life better, quicker, faster, because you know, you need to empower more people and pass that lesson. No lagging.

You're getting busy. You're getting busy.

Yeah. We may not have that second chance. So I don't care.

You know, my heart's beating today. I have breath in my lungs today. So here we go. How many lives can I influence for a greater good, including my own? Reminding myself that I'm worthy of love and acceptance each moment, no matter what. Because I definitely still have those moments. And I'm sure you do too. Getting into the shower, you know, I'll catch a glimpse of myself. In fact, I do. You know, I'll take a look and I'll say, whoa, what happened? They grafted my back onto my front.

So I'll just catch myself sometimes. And of course, you know, it's a loss, you know, it's an amputation. So I gave myself permission to grieve for a while there. And then, you know, those reminders are quick adjustments to remember not to attach my sense of self to anything outside of me. And then I'll instantly start replacing with gratitude.

Right.

I can see, I can hug, I can love, I can reach out, communicate.

And there are some benefits.

Absolutely.

Out of our greatest weakness comes our greatest strength. It's just so nice that we know that we can go on and empower other people and realize that you can walk through the fire and on the other side there's going to be purity and light and more life and you.

Never forget the strength that you've recovered it's always been there but we forget that we have the strength to move mountains and it's moments like this when we remember that it's such an empowering experience. Like you said your gift is your cross although there's pain involved and some adjustments that need to take place which oftentimes involve a lot of pain and suffering it's the portal to pass through so more love can be birthed within the soul for yourself and the world around you. Compassion is great isn't it? It is people and everybody's story this was our story everybody has their story and their dark night of the soul.

Experiences of life and everybody's story will inspire somebody else so make sure that you share with someone else what you've learned and empower somebody else and stand up and take charge of your health.

Because you count you do.