Day 2 The Missing Key to Manifestation Challenge

Hello, I'm Susie, and welcome to day 2 of The Missing Key. And I'm adding on to manifestation because I think it's the easiest way to understand, like, why our manifestation is not working and why we are having blocks with our manifestation. So take a breath. I need a breath. Um, yesterday we covered over the summary of the 31-day challenge about living from our our heart in a 3D world, which essentially just the premise is you are deserving of unconditional love right now, exactly as you are. You don't need to change anything. You don't need to be better at anything, have done like nothing. You are just as is because you exist. You are deserving of unconditional love. So we talked about the 4-step process, which I in my heart believe Is the missing key to manifestation. Like, we have all journaled till our pens ran out of ink. Like, we've written the journals, we've done the gratitude, we've, we've put down the desires, we've sent them to the universe, we've done all of that. But I truly believe that the front part of the equation was missing, and that is compassion and forgiveness. For where you're at, where you've been. So I would like to just recap the process, the 4 steps, which is talking to ourselves. And it is, I'm sorry, or I'm so sorry. I like to say I'm so sorry that whatever the situation is happened to you or made you feel like that, or whatever it is that We have written down on our piece of paper for the things that are irritating us, um, or annoying us, or we're angry at or pissed about, or whatever it is. And then I forgive you for whatever the circumstances were that made that situation make you feel like that. And then thank you for being the person you are to get through this situation. And I love you because you're so amazing that you could still feel that way and still be sitting here listening to me. So I thought that the best way to integrate this, like, we can practice it in the now, but I think to start, it might be helpful to look through the lens of when we were younger. Because I think that is so much easier to have compassion for us, like back when we were a child or back when we were like in high school or whenever there was like a moment that really like sticks with you. So I'm gonna give you an example of mine that we can work through this process. So I was, I think, about grade 5, which is about 10 years old, and I was very shy. I— painfully shy, in fact. And I think school, especially primary school, uh, what do you call it, elementary school, um, was very difficult for me. I, I just— I didn't fit, and I used to hide out in the library a lot anyway. I was good like one-on-one, but big crowds were not my scene. So I did have some friends like from playing sport and gymnastics and hockey and those sorts of things. And one of the girls had said to me, well, you can come and sit with us at lunch. And I was like, okay. Like I was desperate for the invitation, desperate for someone to just say, hey, just come and sit with us. It's okay. Um, but I would never have just walked up and sat with anybody. Anyway, so I did muster up the courage because I did know most of the girls in the group to go and sit with them the next lunchtime. And a girl turned to me and said, what are you doing here? Like, you can't sit with us. And I was like, oh, well, my friend said that I could sit with you. And she was like, well, you can't. And you can just imagine, like, the absolute pain and rejection and shame and, um, I'm not worthy and there's something wrong with me and all of those emotions that come up. And I'm sure if you just, like, close your eyes for a second and just think back to a time in your life, I'm sure that everyone will have a specific time that really Sits with them and sticks with them and really won't go away because I feel like we haven't honored that part of ourselves that felt hurt and abandoned and sad and betrayed and not enough and all of those things. And I covered this story in the 31-day challenge, but I didn't have this missing key yet. I didn't have this framework. And so at, in the 31-day challenge, I was like, oh my God, of course that little girl deserves compassion. Like, I just wanna scoop her up on my lap right now and just hug her and give her the biggest hug and just tell her how worthy she is and tell her like, I'm so sorry that that happened to you. And just tell her how much she's worthy of love. So now using that framework, and I think this is going to be something that we just repeat and repeat. And like, that is obviously a supercharged memory for me because like I remember it vividly. And I'm sure you will have memories like this too that you remember so vividly because they hurt you so much to your core. And so the process is I am like, take yourself back to that time, like, or imagine you're sitting there next to that version of you, or imagine you're there talking, like kneeling down and talking to that version of you. And let's just start the process. It's like, I am so sorry that you felt so rejected. I forgive you. For not being able to see how amazing and wonderful you actually were. Thank you for actually surviving that process and finding coping mechanisms, whether it was hiding in the library reading Tintin comics, which was my coping mechanism. But thank you for finding coping mechanisms to get you through that. And I love you for being such a brave girl. For trying in the first place, like for having the courage to go and try. So can you see now how the process works? It's like, it's the honoring and the compassion that that was a, a real experience, like a super real experience that is etched in our memory, like so strong and vividly. And I don't think that a memory like that Will erase with one. Like, it's not gone like that. I don't think. I think that it's something we probably need to go through and go through and go through and go through. So I will do another one for the same memory. It's like, I am so sorry for the pain that experience caused you in your heart. I forgive you for not being able to see. Your beautiful self and see how worthy you were. Thank you so much for still trying anyway, even though you got rejected. And I love you so, so much and just wanna give you a hug. I love you because you were just so beautiful, even in that pain and rejection. You are still a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful darling 10-year-old child worthy of all the love. So I am so sorry that you had to go through that. And I forgive you for not being able to see that really they had wounding and that's why they were being mean to you. Not Because it had anything to do with you. Thank you for holding your head high and walking away and finding something else to do and finding another way to survive lunchtimes in primary school. And I love you because you are just so beautiful and brave and courageous, and you made it through that experience. Like when we give ourselves the time and space to honor these situations in this 4-step process, then I truly believe that true healing, like true healing can begin. We all know we can look back and see that version of us and know they didn't deserve it. But like, we know that we didn't deserve it. Like, we were 10. No one deserves that at 10. And that's why I want us to start with earlier memories, because it's much easier to see that we did not deserve that behavior that made us feel that way when we are small, when we're like 10 or 7 or 4 or whatever the memory is from. And you know what? To do this process, you don't even have to have a specific memory of a specific time. If you have a feeling like I'm not whatever it is enough, just instantly like, I am so sorry that you feel like you are not enough. You can add in extra words, not smart enough, not fast enough, not Whatever it is— thin enough, rich enough, strong enough, whatever that is— we can do that without it needing to be a specific situation. But I think giving the healing to that version of you, because you know they're so deserving, makes it an easy segue into practicing it now more in the future. And I did mention yesterday that we weren't going to be forgiving anybody else. We are just offering this forgiveness to ourselves. And it's funny because in hindsight, I'm still friends with that girl, interestingly, that said, no, you can't sit here. And in hindsight, she was hurting massively underneath it all. And that was a coping mechanism. And that doesn't mean the behavior is okay, but you don't know what's going on. behind the surface. And they do say mean people are often just really hurting inside, like really badly. But this is not the reason why we're not forgiving. This is why we're not, not forgive. But in hindsight, I can see what was going on with her, and I know why she had to have this tough exterior, because she was hurting so much behind closed doors. But the reason we're not forgiving other people is because This reality is a projection from us. Like, we are creating our own reality. And we cover this a lot in the 31-day challenge that we did before this, Living from Your Heart in a 3D World, about how we project our reality. And when things like this come up— not saying that a 10-year-old can, But I was projecting that for a reason. And I know that that seems crazy that I wanted to get those wounds, but if I didn't have that wound, I wouldn't have that story to tell you now today so we can all grow and evolve from that. So we, like, life is not just, was it, uh, sunshine and lollipops, rainbows and butterflies, whatever that song is. Like life is not, life is not all rainbows. Like life is gonna come at you. And what that does is over time, it teaches you to trust yourself. So when you go through hard experiences and make it out the other side, Like most of the time you look back on it and you go, wow, I did it. I made it. I actually, like, I got through that. I'm still here. I'm still me. And it, it made, it makes you trust that you can survive these processes that feel so gut-wrenching. And like, as I said yesterday, I have had quite a few things happen in the past few weeks. And they have been gut-wrenching, like gut-wrenching, like, like really hurting my, like hurting myself, like my, not, I'm not hurting myself. I mean, like they hurt my heart, like being taken advantage of, but after you've given so much of yourself and, and for someone to turn around and be so rude and awful to you, like that hurts the core of your being. But after I, I, and look, I am not, I am not a saint. I lost it. Like I lost it and spiraled and went at it for a while. And then that's when I was like, I realized I was angry at myself. And that's the point of this process is we are in charge of us. We cannot control anyone else, even though I just said we projected them, but it's still a fact. We can't control them. So all we can do is— and in that, I acknowledged my role I played in the situation. So it was a two-way street. And also the end of my marriage, which was very unexpected. And I wasn't the one that ended it, but I still had to acknowledge my role in it. And I think that that was probably jump-started my We call it healing journey, but it was the fact that it takes 50% of 2 people to be in a situation. 50% of you and 50% of the other person. And no matter how self-righteous you might be about that, you have contributed to the situation in an equal amount. And I know that, that you'd be like, no, no, I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. And it's like, well, you did. And, um, which is really funny because, and I did bring this up, um, I've brought this up before, but the, I did, when my marriage actually was breaking down, I did the Dr. Demartini Method, or it's called the Demartini. He's Dr. John Demartini, the Demartini Method. And it was like a weekend immersive retreat thing where he basically teaches you how to see the equal and opposite sides of any situation. So, and this was very helpful for me as well. So it is like every situation that you look at can be looked at from, uh, like 100— like 50% bad, like, sorry, 100% bad, 100% good. But really holding the charge on either side is actually bad because not bad, bad's not the right word, but it's going to cause, um, an, a, like a— what's the word? It's not— I'm just going to say it's not in equilibrium. Disequilibrium? Unequilibrium? I don't even know what the opposite of equilibrium is. Anyway, it's not in equ— it's not in equilibrium. So, and he actually even had on the last day, he had someone, he wanted someone from the audience who had had someone that they really loved pass over and die. And crossover, and he got them up on the stage and he basically made them give him all the positives for that person dying, like until that person had their charge around the situation balanced. And you might think, oh my God, she's mad, like she's lost it, it's like she's lost the plot, but it really was a true thing. And What he did in the, um, in the course was we were writing, and it was actually really good for me because it actually made me be able to balance the end of my marriage by looking at all the things I thought were bad and wrong and that, that the other party had done to me and did, and then by balancing them out with, well, what could be the positives of that? What could be the positives of that? What could be the positives of that? That was how I actually neutralized that, like, victim charge mode and to be able to bring the emotions back in balance because there's always a flip side to whatever happens, whether that is, so for example, the last stuff that's happened to me where I felt really used and, and like just really used, taken advantage of, like. My generosity and my heart and my care had really been just like shoved back in my face with, um, you didn't do anything. Like, like, what are you talking about? You did nothing. Um, when I had bent over backwards for months and months and months helping this person. Um, and so the positive— I'm not gonna run through the positive charge, but I had to take my ownership. It's like I let that happen. Like, I let this person do that to my own detriment. So that is me taking ownership of it, and that's the part that we're going to, like, forgive ourselves for. I forgive you for the plot, the part you played in it. And I know I've really gone down a rabbit hole here because we were talking about our younger selves and now we're talking about last week. So I'm sorry, I do bounce all over the place a bit like this, but I promise, um, I, I hope you're following along. I'm, I think I'm talking about the differences in forgiveness. So I forgive you for putting yourself in that situation is different to I forgive my younger self. Like, I'm not forgiving her for putting herself in that situation because she didn't know any better. I'm forgiving her for not knowing that what they said wasn't true. And so I suppose that can work for now too. I feel like I'm just gonna practice it on the being used and taken advantage of. I am so sorry that that person made you feel like that. I am so sorry That you felt used and taken advantage of. I forgive you for not knowing any better and not knowing that they were gonna slam the door in your face and not knowing that this evilness could come out of this person. I forgive you for losing your boundaries in that situation. I forgive you for not even having to think you needed boundaries. In a helping a friend situation, and then thank you for not not doing something crazy and losing your cool. Like, thank you for keeping it together and being rational and holding steady and not being like saying something silly. Back. Like, thank you for having an open heart and a beautiful nature that does want to help people. Thank you so much for always seeing the best in people and like expecting that they will see the best in you. And I love you for having such an open heart and for Giving unconditionally, even if it gets slammed back in your face. So again, I have jumped, haven't I? I'm so sorry. I think I'm talking, and I told you forgiveness was going to be tricky and we were going to need to take a few days on it, um, because forgiveness is really a gift for us. It doesn't mean that the other person didn't do the things. It doesn't mean that the things they did were right. It doesn't mean, like, it doesn't mean any of that. But for us to, like, heal the wounds, that's an inside job. Like, this is on us. We're the only ones that can heal our wounds. Like, okay, for example, like, You know when you think you want that apology from someone and you've been seething and raging and they must apologize and rah rah, whatever it is and whatever the situation is, and then the person does come back and apologize or something and it's like, yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't give you the satisfaction that you think it would. Like, it's sort of like, yeah, it's a blip and it's like, yeah, that was nice, they apologized, but Really, the apology needs to come from us to us. Like, we need to apologize to ourselves. That's where the real work is being done in healing that. And I know it's a cliché, and we— everything, like, do you know what it is? A cliché that's like, um, Like everything is internal. There is no external. But it's the truth. Everything else is a projection. And we are— we are— I manifested that situation into my experience because I hadn't healed other wounds. And so that situation coming up for me with this person That was like, I was like, I am missing something. I know I'm missing something because this wouldn't keep happening if I wasn't missing something. So then I went deep into myself and I was like, what am I missing? What am I missing? And it was the— I hadn't honored and healed the wounds and given myself compassion and forgiveness when this had occurred in my life. in other ways. So it had reappeared very timely, in fact, so that I could then use this new process on it. So, okay, we've started on forgiveness. The I'm sorry is easy because you can just write what's annoying you, what's pissing you off, that— or, or where you just feel like just not whole. And I've actually started doing this when I catch A negative thought come into my brain, whatever it is. Like, okay, for example, I'm recording this. I'm writing books at the moment, and I was really tired yesterday, and I was like, I just want to watch TV or something. But I had this little voice in here saying, that would be lazy. We've got a lot to do. We can't just watch TV. We've got chapters to write. We've got books to organize. We've got things to film. You can't just be lazy and watch TV. And then I was just, I was absolutely exhausted. I was so tired and I caught myself and I was just like, I am so sorry that you feel so tired, but feel like you don't deserve to rest. Like, I am so sorry that you have this conditioning that makes rest feel lazy. I forgive you for thinking that rest is lazy. Like, I forgive you for thinking that. Like, I forgive you for thinking that you are not worthy if you don't produce. See how crucial those 2 wounds are and the link between them? And then it was like, thank you for actually listening to your body. And I, I had, I had a rest. I actually did a meditation and fell asleep. I was exhausted. Thank you for actually acknowledging the programming that's running and realizing that you need to listen to your body. And I love you for working the process and going through the steps, but You can do it now when you catch yourself, catch yourself with a thought. Like in the Living from Your Heart Challenge, we talked about all these outdated beliefs, which is anything exactly like, it's lazy if I'm not producing, like it's lazy if I have a rest in the afternoon, like it's a weekend. Is it? Like, not that if you're exhausted on a weekday you can't have a rest either, you can, but look at me like creating rules around it. It was a weekend anyway. And I was like, that's just an outdated belief that needs to be flipped, and I need to work the process on it because it's just not true. And if you're tired, rest, because here's a cliché: you can't fill from an empty cup. And anyway, my light is really going, and I'm starting to look like a really funny person in this camera, so I am going to— and I think it's long enough today anyway. I have blabbered, and I really Hope that you followed along with that, but just start practicing when these belief systems come up, like, I'm so stupid because I can't find my keys ever, or I'm so silly because I keep losing everything, or, oh, I burnt the toast again. Oh, and it's just like, I'm so sorry that you feel that way and talk to yourself like that. And then I forgive you for not having stopped The patterns that allow yourself to talk to you negatively. Thank you for now working the 4-step process and, and acknowledging that you don't need to talk to yourself like that. And I love you, and we'll only have positive speak now. Actually, I have a beautiful auntie, my Auntie Sal, and she has a lot of that conditioning to talk to herself badly. And I have a swear jar In well swear jar. I call it swear jar. Whenever she says something bad about herself, I just go swear jar, Auntie Sal. And she's like, oh oh oh! Because she does. The problem is she doesn't even hear herself doing it. She's so conditioned to call herself silly names and bad things and like all those. And I was like, swear jar, swear jar. We'll only have positive talk here. So anyway, okay, I'm really going now. I love you lots. Bye.