Day 4 - The Missing Key to Manifestation

Hello, welcome to day 4 of The Missing Key to Manifestation. I'm Susie and this is Susie Unshaped where we peel off all the layers that are suffocating you and not allowing you to live your most amazing wonderful life. So I'm calling it The Missing Key to Manifestation but really it means exactly that, like unshaping all of those belief systems and expectations that have been put on us, whether consciously or not consciously, and removing them all so that we can just live in joy and happiness and amazement and wonder. So yesterday, um, we worked through looking at situations and then finding the underlying emotion with that situation. Like, what is the core emotion? That you feel about yourself that that situation triggers. And then we linked that to all the situations that we could remember that made you feel the same way. And then we did our 4-step process. I am so sorry that you experienced that because of that. I forgive you for being in that situation and not knowing and remembering Your true divine self and how amazing you are. Thank you for surviving that situation and staying the beautiful person that you are. And I love you. Well, because you rock. And so I was thinking, huh, me again thinking, um, I was thinking how we've applied this to situations. I think I did briefly bring this up one of the days, can't remember which one, but I want us to focus now on applying it to when you have negative thought patterns come up about yourself. So there's no person involved in this negative thought— well, there's probably like 100 people involved in the building and creation of this negative thought pattern, but We can use this process as well to just acknowledge when we're not feeling good about ourselves. So for example, say let's use body. Body reference is great because literally I do not know anyone that does not dislike one part of their body. I remember actually, I remember once a friend said we had to go around in a circle. We're just being silly. And she was like, Everyone's got to name the one, like, their favorite part of their body. And I— do you know what mine was? My eyelashes. Like, seriously, that was— and, and my eyelashes are actually really fair, so if I don't have, um, mascara on, you can't even see them. I chose my eyelashes. She chose her elbows. So like, we are really scraping the barrel here if we're choosing eyelashes and elbows. Anyway, so let's use the body as an example because I'm sure that everyone can relate to a thought popping up. Maybe you catch yourself in a mirror that, um, and, and an outfit that you thought you looked great in, you were like, oh my God, I didn't realize I look like that. Or a photo of yourself, you know how you go out, you think you look great, and then you see a photo of yourself and it's like, oh my God, do I look like that? So you get the point. So we're going to work the process on this emotion. So, I am so sorry that you feel like you don't look good. I am so sorry that you feel like your body should look a different way. Because that's essentially what it is. When we see ourselves and we don't see something that we like, we're judging ourselves against like societal expectation, magazine covers, all those thin models walking the catwalk, um, the buff guys on Instagram. Although these days you can't tell if they're AI or if they're real, so I don't know, they need to come with a tag. I thought they were supposed to have a tag, but I'm not sure they all do. But do you know what I mean? Like, we're now even comparing ourselves to AI images. So like, when's it gonna stop? Like, I am so sorry that you feel like you need to look a certain way to be loved. I forgive you for feeling like you need to look a certain way to be loved. Thank you. For okay, actually the gratitude. Okay, here we go. I know what it is. I'm like, oh, what's the gratitude for this? Thank you to my body for being able to take me where I need to go and drive my children to school and go for a swim if I want to have a shower easily. Like, thank you to my body for carrying me where I need to go, and I love you. Exactly as you are. You didn't ever need to look any other way. So that's just like, it's interesting because I've been writing the book from the 31-day challenge, Living from Your Heart in a 3D World. And I do really highly recommend that you do that book as well, because a lot of what I'm talking about here is gonna make so much more sense. if you get the conceptual concept down first. So I will just recap what I've been writing about today, which is what I call emotional shapewear. So I have an underwear brand called Scanties, which I started because I couldn't find a pair of underwear that did everything I needed them to do. So I wanted them to be like bike shorts, but be super thin and breathable and comfortable and pretend that there was nothing there that stopped chafe. muffin top riding up, rolling down, all of those things. And so because the product looked like shapewear in its design, although it was not, I was constantly having to describe, like, explain what this new category of underwear was and constantly being compared with shapewear. So I was really trying to, like, dig into the messaging around that, that it is not shapewear. And I saw a video where a famous shapewear brand owner suggested wearing not one but two pairs of shapewear on top of each other to get this particular silhouette in this dress. And I was just like, okay, that's enough, I'm done. And that's when I started an anti-shapewear movement. And originally I thought That it was just about the physical shapewear. And then I was like, okay, and like, I understand she created an amazing product at a time to do a certain job, but we're not back then anymore. We're here now, and I'm saying enough is enough, and I think a lot of women are with me saying enough is enough. And it made me wonder, like, why Are we so obsessed with being smaller and flatter and contorted into shapes that we're not? And so then that led me to like, what, like nearly what is our wounding, but I wasn't at that wording yet. I was like, why do we feel like if we don't look a certain way, then we're not lovable, basically we're not worthy. Is essentially what it is. If you don't look two sizes smaller in that dress, you're not worthy. You're not lovable. Goodbye. See you later. We'll go on to the next one that's wearing the two pairs of shapewear. And so it was that thought process that I start. That's what started to unravel all of this, to tell you the truth, because I was like, okay. And then I was actually talking with Cass, my sister, and we were thinking about it, and we were like. I'm sure that 200 years ago, 300 years ago, people weren't— well, A, the clothing that they wore, probably you couldn't see it as much, but people were busy just having enough food. They were working the land to create food and be able— and they hand-cooked it and they made all their food from scratch. And, and body image wasn't necessarily a thing. In fact, if you were curvy and voluptuous, it meant you were rich, like you had money, you had resources, you had enough to eat. And so then I was thinking about it, and I was thinking, so in the 1920s was probably when that first sort of like flapper style, you know, the thin, slender, like narrow hips, um, look came about, about the 1920s. And then there were the wars, and then post the wars was the boom of the big pharma companies and advertising. And all of a sudden, I think Amphetamines were all over the market. Look thin, be energetic for your husband when he gets home so you can look amazing. And here, like, it was literally like diet pills basically came onto the market and the advertising of the thin woman came about. So I can promise you they weren't worrying about what they looked like in the war. But so really, if you think about that, it's not— it's 2026 to 1920, it's really only been about 100 years. In all the history of mankind that we have felt like we needed to look like this unachievable body standard. I think the statistics are about 5%— I don't even know if it is 5%— 5% of females actually have that catwalk body shape. And I also heard something, and I can't remember where this came from, but Originally, they had beautiful, curvy, voluptuous women walking catwalks, but everyone was looking at the women and not at the clothes. So they were like, okay, we can fix this. And so they literally found models that had a, like, a shape that resembled a coat hanger so that the clothes would hang off them and people would look at the clothes like they were on a walking coat hanger. So I found that absolutely fascinating. I have slightly digressed here, but I wanted to give you a bit of a history on body image and when did we start hating our bodies so much and needing to have flat stomachs. Like, you've seen the images of Venus carvings, sculptures. She was a goddess of beauty. She doesn't have a flat stomach. She's beautiful and soft and round. She is definitely not wearing shapewear, that is for certain. Nor was any sort of a garment like that. Well, actually, I lied. The corset was— the corset was around, so I'm going to just be quiet about that. And I suppose the corset was a body shaping garment as well. And I'm not going to guess what the history is to the corset because I'd just be making it up. But yes, I suppose there was a body shaping garment, I think, to get the girls up and give that slender waist. But then they had the big Bouffant, like dress skirts. So like they wanted to create beautiful big hips. Like the corset was used to give the illusion of a small waist and big hips and booty. Sorry, what is my point? My point is wearing shapewear to try and fit ourselves into a shape of a woman That doesn't have hips and doesn't have a soft tummy and and is really flat everywhere. That's only a recent concept. Well, in fact, I think the company's only about twenty years old. The one that initially started it all. I don't think they're that old. So before that, shapewear wasn't even a thing. Da, I just. Came up with that right there. So I'm getting to my point, which is the emotional shapewear. Like, the emotional shapewear is the driver behind wearing the physical shapewear. But emotional shapewear doesn't just stop at the physical aspect of shapewear. Emotional shapewear includes any area of your life that you've had an outdated belief system or an unaligned belief system them layered on top of you like that onion that we have to take pause and take a step back and just actually inspect. Oh, why? Like, why should I? Where does that come from? Like, why should we wear shapewear? And it's so interesting to me. I'll see people— I'm sorry, I'll be like with people that I've given scanties to and they'll be like, oh my God, I can wear these and I can just come home And flop on the couch. And these girls are tiny. I'm like, why are you wearing shapewear in the first place? Like, that— there's absolutely no need for it. I think it's just the social conditioning. It's like, well, if I can look half a size smaller, then I'm going to. And my question is, why? If it means discomfort, like, is it worth it? And that's like the— that's the unlayering and the uncovering of The physical shaper and the emotional shaper. Why do we need to look half a size smaller? Why do we need to always be five kilograms lighter? So this one's a big one to unpack, really, because it started nearly even subliminally, subliminally with all the magazines when we were growing up. Like I love those um. Those posts about how bipolar the magazines were in the '80s and the '90s? It's like, lose, lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks, cook the biggest chocolate cake you've ever made, um, do a workout in less than 3 minutes or something. Like, it's all this contradictory advice on the front cover. So of course our brains have absorbed all of that. We don't know which way's up. So it's all that subliminal We've been absorbing it subliminally. Plus, then you'll always have the offhanded comments when— all the way from when you're growing up. Oh, I'm not sure that dress suits you. Oh, I'm not sure that, um, I think that might be a bit small. Oh, I'm— I, I, what did I— I got one time from one of my ex-husband's friends, I got, oh, you've had a— sorry, you've had a few lamb roasts, haven't you? And I don't think he knew that you didn't Say that to. And I was like, what? What did, what did you just say to me? You've had a few lamb roasts. I was like, meaning I'd put on weight. I was like, whoa, okay. But what did I feel? Okay, let's practice that one. I felt so much shame. I, I— he didn't mean it intentionally. I think that that might be how boys speak to each other. He wasn't trying to be mean to me. But it did hurt. So it's all those little comments. And we'll just do a little process now for poor Susie who had had too many lamb roasts. I'm so sorry that that guy made that comment about your weight and made you feel bad about yourself and feel shame. I forgive you for letting that comment hurt you so much. And for us to store that in our file of Susie's body's not good enough, Susie's not thin enough, and store that file and have that file linked to your worth. Thank you to your body because it's got you to where you are now, and you've since had 3 beautiful kids, and you've had like amazing experiences and traveled and done all sorts of things that body has allowed you to do. None of that was dependent on the size of your body. And I love you so much because the shape of your body is completely irrelevant to who your core essence and beautiful soul are. Okay, so I have— well, body is a big one, like it's a huge one, and we're going to have to work this process a fair bit. But that's what I wanted to sort of highlight today, is when those thoughts come up, if you've got time, just take in a deep breath. Like maybe you're trying on tops or Some outfits and nothing's fitting right and the thoughts are coming in at you and just take a deep breath and just— I am so sorry that you have been made to feel that your body is not okay, not thin enough, not flat enough, not tight enough, not like— do you know what I mean? I am so sorry. I forgive you for linking how you look To your self-worth and your ability to receive love. Thank you, body, for getting us to where we are today and for all the experiences you've carried us through. And I love you because you are not the predicted self-image of magazines and, and what we're supposed to look like. You are a beautiful divine soul deserving of love right now in this body you have right now. Okay, so when those thoughts come up and maybe you don't have time to do the process, but do you know what, I've been doing it at the traffic lights when I'm driving the kids to school. You can just catch the thought and start the process and you don't even need to go into it in that much depth. In fact, you could just start with the first part. Just say, I'm so sorry you feel that way about yourself. I am so sorry you feel that way about your body. I am so sorry you think your body and how it looks determines your value. I am so sorry that you have been led to believe that your body somehow Is linked to your worth. I am so sorry that you think you're only deserving of love if you're a particular shape or size. I am so sorry that parts of your body are making you feel shame that you shouldn't be feeling. Then I forgive you For linking all of those expectations and unaligned beliefs about your worth to how you look. I forgive you. You were doing the best that you knew how to with the information that you have been given. Thank you to this body that has got me here and done all the amazing things we've done in our life. Thank you to my legs for walking me to the car so I can pick up my darling children. Thank you to my legs to be able to walk me into the ocean and have a swim. Thank you to my arms and hands and fingers for being able to do all the things that they can do. And I love you no matter what your body looks like because you are amazing. Just as you are. Okay, I think that that's actually like a really nice place to leave it, but just practice because the awareness of the thought is what I want you to catch, the awareness of the thought. So we're not doing situations now, now we're doing, we're looking inwards and looking in that filing cabinet of all the areas that we've stored our belief systems that we are not worthy because of XYZ. And so just catch them as they come up. Whenever you get something, a thought pop in, or you might say something about yourself that isn't aligned with that true core of your being, which is an amazing, beautiful soul. With no conditions, like unconditional love. Notice the phrases. Notice what you're saying. Notice what you're thinking. Oh, my beautiful Maureen, she always says the lies we tell ourselves are the worst lies that we will tell anyone. And at first I didn't know what she meant, but it's all of this. All of these are the lies. These are the lies she was talking about. All the lies that we tell ourselves that takes us away from remembering our true amazing selves. Those are the lies she was talking about. And one by one, we are going to give these lies compassion and forgiveness. Forgiveness because we were layering them on, all these beliefs and expectations of ourselves, without having any awareness of where they were coming from or why we were even adopting them. So it's just now we practice noticing and noticing and just practice catching yourself. And if you don't have time or you can't, like, just write it down. Even just try that. Do a journal. Like, every time something comes up, just write it in your notes on your phone or on a piece of paper, whatever you have handy. Every time, every time something comes up. If you do that for a couple of days, I think you'll be able to see some core themes that are presenting themselves. So that's the homework, is to notice these thoughts, notice where they're coming from. And then like just try the process, give yourself that compassion. I am so sorry you feel that way. You know when you're going through a really hard time, you have a beautiful friend that just says like, puts their hand on your leg or around your arm or something and just says, I am so sorry that has been happening to you. Remember how like that feels really— it's like— Oh, it feels like you can breathe and oh, it's like somebody sees me, they can see what I'm going through, I'm being heard and seen. And that is what we're doing for ourselves, for our own wounds and all of these belief systems we've stored that have made us forget who we truly are, which is amazing and wonderful and beautiful. Like exactly as you are, with no conditions. There are no conditions to it. None. You do not have to be anything other than what you are right now, in this now moment, which as we know is the only moment that exists because the past is gone and the future is not there yet. So right now, it's just a now moment. Then there's another now moment and another now moment and another now moment. So By doing this practice, if you catch yourself in that now moment and change the narrative, it means your next now moment, you're not taking that story with you anymore. So eventually, as we catch ourselves in each moment and change the narrative and change the narrative and change the narrative and change the narrative, we're actually creating an entirely new trajectory for ourselves. Because every time you give yourself compassion and forgiveness and gratitude and love for that part of you that you feel is not worthy, you are going into the next now moment from that whole place full of compassion, forgiveness, gratitude, and love. So it means the next now moment And yeah, I'm not saying they're never going to come up again. They are. But when you practice this, you're going to slowly watch that you're going to be able to just like, oh, got it. Boom, got it. Boom, got it. So it means that you're literally changing the way— like, this is old path and this is new path. Like, new path is going off over there with so many of these— we'll call them— the thoughts are probably like a paper cut in the, in the way of Healing. Like, everyone is just a little paper cut. A little paper cut, yeah, actually they can be really annoying, but it's not going to kill you. But death by a thousand paper cuts, death by a thousand of those thought patterns, is going to lead you that way, not this way. I don't know where there goes or where there goes. That's good, and there is no good. Sorry. That is towards healing. That's towards healing the wounds, because every time we catch one And offer ourselves the forgiveness and compassion and gratitude and love, we are moving a step towards like embodying our true nature without having these pesky thoughts come up. Okay, I love you lots. Practice that and try— leave me a comment, see how it's going. I love you. Bye. See you tomorrow.