Day 9 - the Missing Key to Manifestation

Hello, welcome to day 9 of The Missing Key to Manifestation. I'm Susie and this is Susie Unshaped, and here we unshape all the old belief systems and expectations and shoulds that are keeping you from living your most amazing, wonderful life. So yesterday, yes, I rambled a bit and I went around and around and around, and then out came the cracker. The clanger, whatever we wanna call it. I call them clangers. I don't know why I said cracker, but if we don't integrate all of our parts, especially the ones that we're a bit embarrassed about, like Greedy Susie and Shameful Susie and those characters of our life, if we don't integrate them, we have pieces of us that we are telling Are not deserving. So when we've manifested that fancy car, but we have a part of us that we've literally told to get in that closet and you don't get a say, you don't get a voice at the table, no wonder our manifestations aren't appearing out at my front door. Just breathe. Just having a breath. So the missing key to manifestation is being able to integrate all the parts of ourselves so that we can feel whole and feel wholly deserving. Sorry, pardon the pun, but, um, I had identified from the— from a few different sources, um, Edward Mannix's Compassion Key, The hopanopono. I still haven't looked up how to say that prayer, the ancient Hawaiian prayer. It's probably very disrespectful. I haven't learned how to say it, and I really will, I promise. Um, which is, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you. And so that gave me the inspiration to merge all of this together. And as I've been very clunkily Figuring it out over the past 8 days, and I've gotten stuck a few times as well, which is good because then we can dig into why did I get stuck? Like, what old patterning and like— not patterning, conditioning and patterns and programs are still running that are causing me to get stuck on figuring out this process and how we can integrate All the parts of ourselves back into harmony. So I'm so excited that I came to the conclusion yesterday about how if we deny greedy Susie or the greedy aspect of ourselves because we've been taught to be a good girl and do the right thing and don't be greedy, have your fair share, make sure it's like Split evenly, or whatever it is, whatever this old patterning is. I think greed is a really, really interesting character that we've been taught to be so shameful about from a really young age. Don't be greedy. Don't be selfish. Don't want more for yourself. So this character really needs integration because I. Well, I'm literally only guessing this, but if the part of us that wants something, like truly wants it, has been told, no, we need to be fair, no, we can't be selfish, no, we need to like— I don't know, whatever the story is around why we can't have what we want. It's like a pretty clear link to why manifestation might not be working, because it's literally the core of our I deserve belief. So if we still have parts of ourselves that believe that being greedy is bad or being selfish is bad, those little parts are going to stop the manifestations from coming in because there's parts of us that don't feel like they deserve them. Like, I know this seems so simple, and maybe I'm the last person on earth to figure this out. Potentially I am. Um, but using in that 4-step process to reintegrate— I am so sorry, selfish Susie, that I told you you couldn't have what you wanted. For fear of not being the good girl, for fear of being not liked, for fear of whatever the social conditioning is around why being Selfish Susie— why you couldn't be her, why she didn't get to sit at the table with everyone else, with Fair Susie and Generous Susie and Kind Susie and People-Pleasing Susie. But oh no, Selfish Susie, you don't get to come. Nope, you're not invited. But Selfish Susie is the little voice going, we deserve that, we deserve that. So the link just seems so obvious now when we've told ourselves, or been told by society, by families, by teachers, by whatever the systems were that have told us being greedy and being selfish is bad. But then we want to manifest, so we're like, oh, this is my list, this is what I'd like to order from the universe. And then we've got Selfish Susie saying, yes, but excuse me over here, you said we can't have what we want. Like, case in point, until we invite her to come and sit at the table and be amongst Good Susie and Generous Susie and Kind Susie, We need selfish Susie sitting there. We need greedy Susie sitting there. We need them all in harmony. And that's when all of Susie will feel deserving. Oh, I just need another breath from that. So the process is, I am so sorry. Selfish Susie, that you were made to feel less than when you were asking for what you needed. Thank you, Selfish Susie. Thank you so— oh no, we've jumped a step. Sorry. Please forgive me, Selfish Susie, for shoving you in the closet and not letting your voice be heard, especially because you had our best interests at heart. Thank you, Selfish Susie, for always having our best interests at heart. And I love you so much, Selfish Susie, for always trying to get a word in even when all the other Susies wouldn't shut up and let you get a word in sideways. So that's the process, and I suppose it comes back to that term self-abandonment. Like, where are you abandoning yourself in order to conform to be the good girl, the perfect girl, the kind girl, the never asks for too much girl, the it'll be fine girl? It's actually funny that I'm just saying that like that because I've actually been writing lyrics at the moment for songs and getting Suno AI to help me create these songs exactly about all of these traits. That we've worn like, oh, they're nearly like a badge. I'm the easy one. Oh, they'll invite her because she's the easy one. Oh yeah, she goes with the flow. She doesn't ever rock the boat. You don't want to be the difficult one. Oh, no one wants to be the difficult one. Except Difficult Susie does want to be at the table. Difficult Susie is besties with Selfish Susie and Greedy Susie. Difficult Susie just wants what's best for me. But we've been told that Difficult Susie isn't easily liked. Difficult Susie won't get invited back because we can't rock the boat. All of those stories as to why her and her comrades have been shoved in the closet for so long. And I'm not saying that we go out and all of a sudden we're the most disagreeable person in the world, that we, that we want everything for ourselves, we never share, and, and we're rude and, um, don't care about other people. That's not what I'm saying. It's just, where are these actions out of balance? And I'm not even saying it needs to be 50/50. I'm not even saying like 50% of the time we get to be selfish. And 50% of the time we get to be selfless. I don't think the balance is like an even split like that. I think it just— well, how do we measure when we're in balance or not? I think you measure if you're in balance or not by if stuff starts to piss you off, if you start to get irritated over things. That's probably a really good indication that you are not speaking up for yourself. You have shoved part of yourself in the closet and she's desperately wanting to be heard. And it would probably happen very slowly at first. Like, oh, my friend Anna and I were, um, talking about James Clear's Atomic Habits, and he had talked about using a point system. And I can't remember the exact context he used, but we turned it into the dating world. And we were like, yeah, so when you're newly dating someone and you're like, oh, where should we go? Should we go to a theme park or should we go to a movie? And you'd love to go to the theme park, roller coaster lover, love flipping upside down, all those things. And the other person loves popcorn, although there's probably popcorn at theme park. It's irrelevant. The other person kind of wants to go to the movies, so you're like, okay, well, the theme park would have been fun, but let's go to the movies. That's fine too. So it's sort of like it's not dire straits. Like, it's a little minus point for you, win point for them. You don't care enough. Also probably trying to sort of impress them, so you're probably less likely to speak up. But then it, it's like, what takeaway do we order? They want Chinese, you want pizza. You don't really mind that much if you have Chinese, so off you get and get Chinese, or whatever it was. Did I want— I can't even remember what I wanted then. There we go. Another minus point for you, another plus point for them, and so on and so on and so on. Each individual instance is not like a blow-up effect or like a blow-up, um, event. Not effect, event. But fast forward two years down the track, and they say, "Hey, shall I order us Chinese tonight?" And you lose it. What do you mean? You always get to choose what we eat. Why didn't you even ask me what I want? I like pizza. Blah blah blah. And they're like, "Whoa, whoa." It's like, "Well, you never really mind what we get." And so you have got— you've collected 2 years worth of minus points. You might have gotten a few in there occasionally here and there, but mostly you've probably got the minus points and they've gotten all the plus points. So you're like this and they're like this, which makes sense why you lose it, but they have no idea. Absolutely no idea. They're all like, well, I just thought you didn't mind. Like, if you'd cared that much, I didn't really mind. So that's on you. That's on you to let selfish Susie, greedy Susie, difficult Susie— allow her her seat at the table every once in a while so you don't end up losing it over, are we ordering pizza? Hey, I need to breathe a lot in this one today. I don't know why. I'm getting very excited by the topics, but They are the indications that you are out of balance. Your body will tell you, your emotions will tell you, they will bubble up. When, you know, when you're happy and everything's going well and you actually couldn't care less if you did went to the theme park or went to the movies, you can say, actually, I'd love to be in the air conditioning in the dark, that'd be nicer. I'd love to Have a fun whip around some roller coasters. Like I'm cruising, I'm cool. Because you're like your balance is there. You actually don't care. It's just when you have a lot of minus points, and the minus points might not even be from one person, like one personal interaction. You can get minuses from everywhere, and then all of a sudden everyone's taking advantage of me. I hate this. I hate that. But that's on you. In the instances you can control, to let difficult Susie, let greedy Susie come to the table and say, actually, you know what, if you wouldn't mind today, I'd really love it if we did this. And then you're actually stating what you'd really prefer as opposed to, uh, I don't mind. Because I don't mind is going to get you into trouble. And I, I don't mind Susie is the one that is like keeping on this mask of I'm easy, don't be difficult, be the people pleaser, like be easy to be around, then people will want to be around you. And as I said before, you don't need to turn into some raging bitch. You just need to occasionally say, you can say it in a very polite way, if you wouldn't mind, I really have my heart set on doing this today. And potentially the other person doesn't, and you're like, okay, well, could we maybe mark it down to do that the next time we're trying to figure something out? Like, pre-order it if it didn't work out for you that day. That way then you're sort of just starting to practice. Allowing parts of yourself that you think are unacceptable to have a seat at the table and have their say occasionally, and that's how you're going to keep it in balance. So take a breath. It's actually really funny. My kids, my kids sometimes say Penny. My daughter, she was like, it was like the living arrangements that we had and who was sleeping where and everything. And she was like, she was like, Mum, you know that we're just kids. And she said, you've just got to stand up to us sometimes and just tell us and be the adult. And you need to go and be the adult and tell us, be the boss. And it was over like something that I genuinely did not care about, nor do I still care about it. In the slightest. Like, I know in my core that I actually don't care. Um, but she was like so funny because she was like, you need to be the boss of us and you need to stand up and not let us just get our way and walk all over you. And I just thought it was so funny because I checked in with myself and I was like, do I care about this? And I was like, I really just don't. Like, I actually do not care. So I'm not saying that you have to care about every situation. I'm saying look inside and does Greedy Susie, Selfish Susie, Difficult Susie, do they wanna say something? They might be like, nope, I'm in the hammock. I'm just gonna have a nice little relax over here. You go ahead and do what you like. I genuinely don't care. And often I'm like that, especially with my girlfriends when we all get together. I couldn't care less where we go to dinner. I couldn't care less what we eat. I couldn't care less if we were at a takeaway, at someone's house with a pizza box, or at a fancy restaurant. I genuinely don't care. All I want to do is see my friends, connect with them, laugh, and have a lovely time. And I can literally do that anywhere. And then you've got the difficult friends, but they're not difficult. They're actually just— see, look at me judging them then. I just did it. I'm laying that same judgment for people speaking up for themselves. Judging, judgy over here. But that's— do you know why I'm judging them though? Because there are times in my life when I actually would have a preference and do have an opinion. And by me not saying it then, Doesn't apply to the dinners with the girls. I couldn't care less. But by me not saying them in the other instances, I'm actually jealous. That's jealous Susie. She's hanging out with selfish Susie and difficult Susie, and she's jealous because, hey, they let their selfish side speak up. They let their difficult side speak up. They let their, like, greedy side speak up. Why can't we let our greedy side speak up? That's jealous, Susie. She's having a tantrum because she's like, me, me, me, me, me. This is a tangent, but I'm telling you anyway. At my high school, we had a really like funny group of girls that I used to sit with. They were like really amusing. So our lunchtimes used to be a lot of laughter and jokes and people coming in on top of each other and in on top of each other with the next punchline or the next Segway into that joke, and it was genuinely a very hilarious time in my life, and I really am blessed to have had that time. I know not everyone's high school experience is good, and I understand that because I had a horrible primary school experience, so I get that pain too. Side note. Um, but we used to have a thing where we'd go, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, which meant you wanted to be like, you wanted next in on the joke, um, on the joke banter, and it was your turn next. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. So we need to listen into where is our like heart saying me me me me me me me or our body saying me me me me me I want to have a choice this time and we've trained it to be like shh go away go away and then no wonder jealous Susie gets pissed off she's like right so they're allowed to do that but I'm not yeah. Well, that's really not cool. I think she'd be like twirling her head. That's really not cool. Like, I don't think that— oh my God, I need to stop. Bad accent, bad acting. I was envisioning Envy in Inside Out 2. I think she's green, she's really sassy, and she's like, well, we want that too. Like, why can't we have it if they have it? Like, I want it as well. And she's right. Like, the jealous version of you You do need to listen to her sometimes because otherwise you are going to wake up 10 years down the track, 20 years, 30 years down the track. I can't even remember how old I am now. Um, how many years down the track and realize, oh, sorry guys, I have kept you shoved away for so long that I've actually forgotten how to even talk to you anymore and how to even let you out. And I know I've spent a lot of time on these emotions today, but because I think they're really linked with I deserve, and I think that links to manifestation. Because if you've got parts of you you've been telling for 30 years that they don't deserve to be heard, they don't deserve to have an opinion, they don't deserve to get what they want, We got a lot of compassion and forgiveness we need to give those guys. And that once we heal and make them whole and make ourselves wholly deserving— I used it again— that's when manifestations can come in because we actually feel like we deserve them. Okay, I think that might be it for today. We having homework? Yes, yes, of course we're having homework. Homework today is to just— I want you to pick— see, mine are like greedy, selfish, difficult. Um, those are probably my 3 big ones as a people pleaser and one that always put other people's needs first, even in small choices. But they all add up, the point system. And if you do it with small choices, chances are you're doing it with big choices too. So try and identify your top 3 traits that you have been shoving in the closet and denying, and then just see where that might be playing out in your life. And then we're gonna go one step further. And actually, oh, excuse me, one step further and actually practice at least one of them. Practice, well, you can actually even just say it out loud to yourself to start with and then practice somewhere small. Like, for example, I'm very competent, competent Susie. She's got it all together. She doesn't need help. Helpless Susie, on the other hand, she'd like some help sometimes. Like she's here to kind of give us a break. And twice recently, my daughter had another mum in her flag team offer to do something for me: drop her home, take her to this team dinner, and then drop her home. Two things. And it completely opened up my whole night. And normally I'd be, "Oh no, it's fine. I can do it." What can I do to help you? Da da. And I actually just said. Oh yes, that would actually be lovely. Thank you. Even though every cell in my body was like, and it's not like I'm even being difficult. It's like, you're a burden. Burden, Susie. And do you know what is really funny about this is that I would love to do it for another mum. It would actually bring me joy to do it. So by burden Susie, or not wanting to be a burden Susie, taking over all the time, I'm actually removing the opportunity for someone else to get joy from helping me. There we go, mini clanger on the way out. Where are you doing this in your life that you're removing the joy of the other person being able to give you what you want or need by not speaking up and saying, yes please, we'll have that. So practice that. That's what I want you to practice. Just practice. Yes please, we'd like that. Yes please, that would be really helpful. Thank you. And that's it. Practice asking for what you want. Try little things. As I said, you don't need to go and ask for, I don't know, quit your job and ask for a promotional. And I don't know, I'm making stuff up now, which means it's time to go. But just practice. Where are some little ways that you can stop abandoning yourself and let those parts of you speak up so that we can come back into balance? And then when we're in balance, the manifestations can flow because we're deserving. Okay. I love you lots. See you tomorrow.