Susie Taff talks about the friction of not knowing what you're doing, then pivots from a frustrating morning of technical tasks to playing with Midjourney and ChatGPT instead. She made butterflies and a phoenix, shipped a banner for the Emmys, and landed on this: pause when you're banging your head against a wall, find a joy pocket, fill your cup.
Chapters
Hello, welcome beautiful people. I'm Susie Taff and this is the Susie Unshape Sessions where I lead you through the unscripted version of my life and how I live unshaping myself from the emotional shapewear that we have all been conditioned to wear and we don't even know we're wearing it. So today I, um, I'm here to confess, I have no idea what I'm doing. Interestingly, the other day I sort of was called out a little bit and I was listening to someone and they were like, you're hiding something. And I was like, what am I hiding? Because I feel like I'm pretty open. And then I was like, I think I'm hiding the fact that— well, I'm not being open about the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing. Like, Most of my life, I have no idea what I'm doing. And I think what I've kind of come to terms with is that most people don't have a clue what they're doing. So like, we've got a general gist of like the 3D, what we're doing, but I don't have a clue. I really do not know. So, and today is a perfect example of that. I have come up against So many blocks, it's not funny. This morning when I'm trying to work, I was doing one thing and I couldn't find any of the collateral I needed to do that. Like, I have downloaded this stuff twice. So, and me, I wasn't listening to my own advice. Hello, listen. I wasn't listening. And so I probably wasted too much time on those activities when I was getting a very clear sign. Square hole, round peg, or round hole, square peg. Like, I was banging and it wasn't working. And so then I actually shifted to something else. And I mean, the things I'm trying to do normally, I can do like bang, bang, bang. And I couldn't find— so I shifted to another thing. Okay, so that's not the thing. I'll do something else. Then I couldn't find the thing, like something else I would normally like access in a second. And I could— I spent Like 10 minutes, 20 minutes scrolling, trying to find in, in— and I must actually say, I am on the Mac, and where are all the files in the Mac? Like, I really feel Zoolander and Hans when they throw the, um, the apple on the ground and they go, where are all the files? They're expecting the files were physically inside the Mac. And for me personally, like I've been brought up on an HP system and I cannot find the files in a Mac. Like they just disappear. I have no idea where they are. So I don't know if it's a Mac issue, if it's a redirection, it is a redirection. We know that from what we've been talking about. If you're banging it and it doesn't go in, it's not the right thing to be doing. So I am now going to, and actually funnily then I just popped in. Um, a lovely friend I've been talking with about, um, a fantastic creation she has. Um, and then she was like, I've been playing with this and creating images and stuff. And so then I jumped onto Midjourney, which is how I created these beauties. Aren't they amazing? The butterflies and the phoenix rising. So like, how amazing is that? Like, I can't draw and I can't paint. So to be able to do something like this and, and get my creative ideas out and actually create artwork like this. Makes me really happy. So this is the last day we'll see this because it's being shipped off to the Emmys event I'll be attending in September. So I need to ship it over now so it's there in time. But I started playing in Midjourney and I used ChatGPT to help me create the Midjourney prompts because I don't know how to write a Midjourney prompt very well and it's very good. So I know how to direct chat. So, and I started playing with some stuff she was playing with and I was like, This is fun. This feels fun. The other stuff was just churn. And I was like, you have to listen. If it's not working, stop doing it. And I did. I spent probably about 80% more time than I should have on both those tasks because they weren't working. It wasn't easy. It didn't flow. When it wants to flow, it's just there. And it just Happens and it's easy. And then I got into Midjourney and I was playing around with some stuff that she was working on and I was like, this is actually feeling fun. This is actually feeling good. It's nothing about what I'm like, well, what are we supposed to be doing? We're actually supposed to be having fun, creating, playing. So there's my— there's a very, very crucial piece of emotional shapewear I've just identified is that I was trying to slog it through and churn and, um, produce, I wasn't creating. I wasn't playing. I wasn't, I wasn't doing what brought me joy. I was literally banging my head against a wall. And then I shifted my direction. I started banging my head against another wall. So, um, I think after this, I'm going to take a pause, ship my beautiful banner, and then try— not try. Here we have Yoda again. Do or do not, there is no try. So that is a common, um, phrase that has been popping up because there is no try. I am going to go and actually create and do some things that brings me joy because banging my head against the wall does not bring me joy. So, um, I propose to you Are there— is there anything that you're noticing where you might be banging your head against a wall a little bit? Um, and I know it's so hard. Like, this is the part I find so difficult because we obviously have to get our 3D work done. Like, there are deadlines, there are things that need doing. So, but the balance between the two of those is the part that I'm really struggling with, and So working on, I suppose. So in the comments, if you have— if you've noticed that you're banging your head against anything or trying to fit round holes in square— square pegs in round holes and, and stuff is being difficult, um, how do you redirect yourself? Or how do you bring the awareness, not the right thing, not the right thing for right now, and then shift your focus? What is something I can do right now that is like a full body yes? Like, yes, that feels fun. Yes, that's Seems awesome. Um, I don't know. I'd love to hear your thoughts. So, um, with that, I am going to pack up my lovely banner and tomorrow, who knows what we're going to see? Potentially a white screen, potentially my staircase, potentially— I have some cool pink bricks actually. I might try them. Um, anyway, I love you lots and I hope that you Can just bring a little bit of awareness from this chat about what isn't fitting in your life, what feels hard, and what brings you joy. So I think I did mention the other day that I skipped a live so I could have a rest, and then something that normally feels hard, which was taking my kids to late-night basketball training— well, late night for me, 7:15 PM basketball training till 8:30 is late for me. But then it actually was able to bring me joy because I'd had the rest to be able to do it. So maybe it's not the actual task, maybe it's the state of being you need to be in to do the task. So here we go, the old fill your cup analogy. Where is your cup? Is it empty? Maybe, maybe to do the task that is feeling draggy or is not working just needs you you to go and sit in the sunshine and play some fun music or something before you do the task. So maybe we need to play and have fun and create. Um, and if it— like, another thing I've done before, as I said, I cannot paint, I cannot draw, but I have gone to— we go to the hardware store and we get all the tester paint pots and buy some big canvases and just get the paintbrushes out and start painting. Like, as I said, I cannot paint, but just the motion of I can, I can blend colors and I can do like, um, color schemes. Like, I can do good backdrops. But, um, if you want me to physically paint anything, that's going to be interesting. I'll be a good abstract painter. Um, but that did— does bring me joy. So maybe, maybe it's finding joy pockets before we do the other thing, and then maybe the other thing will flow better. Um, or maybe I just never needed to do the other thing in the first place. I may never know. Anyway, love you lots. Have a great day. Bye. Bye.
