Doing what feels good - not should!

Hello, how are you everyone? Um, I'm Susie Taff and this is the Susie Unshaped Sessions, which is just raw chats about life and about unshaping all the emotional belief systems that we've had subconsciously placed on us over the years. So, um, it's started about with, um, I created a comfy pair of underwear after my marriage dissolved unexpectedly and I was left in financial ruin. So I decided to create— I'd been doing some work on myself and decided to create, um, to actually launch a product I'd created about 7 years before into an actual commercial business. What I thought was comfortable underwear became so much more. Um, and I realized that feeling comfortable in your underwear was just a segue into feeling good about yourself. So that was just one factor, like it's one small bit. And I realized the real work that we need to do is actually internally. So I realized— so I call my product Scanties Anti-Shapewear, but I realized the emotional shapewear we wear Is far greater than the physical shapewear we wear, and like physical shapewear, emotional shapewear basically strangles the life out of you. So this live is being inspired by my last few days where I've been doing what feels good, not what I should. So shoulds—if you ever catch yourself with the I should dot dot dot. That is emotional shapewear. That can come from— it can come from— you don't even know where it's come from. Um, like, I should be eating this, I should be running whatever, I should be exercising this, I should— see these fingers here? These were my wake-up call to ditch all the shoulds and start with the good. So, um, a very good example of this is yesterday I Was— it was sort of late afternoon. I'm not good in the afternoon. Like, I don't like— I, I really struggled to work in the afternoon, basically. So I, I think I'd sat down or something, and I was like, oh, I should go downstairs and do a bit more work. And then I caught myself in my should, and I was like, okay, you just said should, which means let's unpack this. And what do you really want to do? Like, what would feel good to your heart right now? Mm-hmm. Not what should you be doing. So, um, I was like, actually, I'm really tired. I'm just gonna have a little lie here. I had a rest, um, which probably if you're like me and you're very good at lumping all the shoulds on, you're probably very bad at taking out time for yourself and having that little rest. Um, so I was like, okay, no, I'm gonna practice what I preach and I am going to have a little rest. So I did that, and then I was taking my daughters to basketball training last night, and it's quite a late training. Well, for me, I'm not a night person. I'm go to sleep early, get up early, that sort of person. And so we were driving there. It was a— it starts at 7:15 PM. So for me, that's a late training, 7:15 till 8:30, um, taking the girls to basketball. And I was actually overcome with this sense of Gratitude, and I could actually sit in the joy of taking them to basketball, as opposed to normally it's just like dragging yourself through the motions. Oh my God, basketball. Like, um, and then I'd probably sit on my phone or, um, like anything there because I was actually exhausted. And I really noticed the difference that I was actually present with them in the car. We have music on. It was fun. I was really present with them in the practice, watching them practice, watching what they were doing. And to me, it was just a bit of like an aha. There's something to this. Like, that's what's like— that is what life is all about. Like, dragging yourself through the shoulds is not the point. It is just not. It's not the point. And the more I uncover this, The more that leaning towards the good is the purpose of life. So, A, having the rest, it felt amazing. Like, I felt amazing just chilling out. Like, I can't even remember what I did, to tell you the truth, but I know I was lying on my freshly made bed, big fluffy, um, fresh doona, and like, it was super soft and warm and snuggly, and I was just like, that felt good. And then going to training with them felt good. Like, I felt good, and I felt good at the training because I'd actually given myself a chance to recharge and just not drag myself through life. So that's my little proposition for you today going forward. Um, lean into what feels good, not what you should. So when it— you— when instantly, the second that a should comes up, I want you to just, as I say, take a few deep breaths, breathe it in, and then sit in it. And what would I— what actually— what, like, where is the should coming from? Is it real? Like, obviously I have to take them to basketball training because I made a commitment at the beginning of the season that I will support them in basketball. So that, that I created that commitment at the beginning of the season. So So we do have all these 3D commitments that we have to like comply with, but what can we do around it to sort of fill our cup up at the same time? So I suppose that's a good analogy, isn't it? That if you're constantly doing the shoulds, the cup runneth empty. I can't even speak. Runneth empty. Runneth empty. So we all know, everyone bangs on about it. You can't fill. You can't give from an empty cup. So I, I believe if you lean more to the good, what feels good, and less of the what you should, I think that the cup gets full and then it allows you to be present and actually feel the joy as opposed to just living life on autopilot. Um, I interestingly was talking with a beautiful lady, um, in Vancouver who does, um, somatic healing. And we uncovered, we, we sort of uncovered, we were working a bit on this, um, the when you click into autopilot and it feels a bit like flicking between 3D and 5D. And we were like, okay, so is there some, some triggers or something that can keep us present when we flip into that autopilot? E.g., for me, it would be like unpacking lunchboxes, doing the dishwasher again, folding laundry. And so I was like, okay, that's a good point. How can we marry the two together? And I was like, okay, well, what about music? I know if I put on music, I know I'd be dancing around and singing while I did it. So I'm not sure what it is for you. It might be no music. You might want it very quiet and calm, or maybe some zen music, some Enya. But for me, like the boppy singing songs, that sort of grounds me a bit more into the fun and joy because the dishwasher still needs to be done. So, um, but again, it shouldn't be a should. So you need to do it when it feels good to. But I think having the music there for me makes it feel good, and it reminds me, um, it reminds me to stay in my good feelings. So I don't know, you're probably going, what is she talking about? Rambling a little bit here. But, um, so next time you catch yourself saying should, take a step back and just actually unpack it a little bit. Where's it coming from? Why should I, why should I be doing that? Like, where does that belief system come from? What do I actually feel like in my heart right now? What does my heart feel like doing? And I know we've got to still like do our 3D commitments. We can't just like meditate and listen to and lie down and listen to music all day, but That's why pairing the music with some 3D jobs that I just click into autopilot just, just help me stay a little bit more grounded. So get your lists of, um, things that maybe you're going to autopilot. Like, I always love to listen to music when I'm driving, um, or I'll listen to really interesting stuff on YouTube. YouTube has so much interesting information on it, um, whatever you're interested in. At the moment, I'm listening to Stefan Burns, who is a I think he's a geophysicist and he's also like a space weather investigator. And so he is at the moment, he's, um, talking about all the astrology lineup and all the, the earthquakes that happen and the potent— and then the tsunamis and shows you all the grids of the volcanic, um, fault lines. And, um, it's very fascinating. Anyway, I'm again rambling, but, um, find your stuff that actually brings you joy. And then slide it into the 3D stuff so that you can actually have more fun when you're in the autopilot. And then every time you see a should come up, find out where it has come from, and then just really check in with your heart. Is that the best thing for me to be doing right now? Maybe it's not. Maybe it's lying down in the fluffy doona before basketball training. Anyway, I'm off to dinner with a lovely old friend who I've known forever, and I'm very excited, um, to see her. So love you lots and have a lovely day.