Feel ALL the FEELS! Where are you on your 'coping' scale 1-10?!

Hello, welcome beautiful people. I am Susie Taff and this is the Susie Unshape Sessions where we peel off all the emotional layers which I call emotional shapewear, um, and actually start peeling all of those belief systems, expectations, the shoulds, etc., off and come back into our hearts. So, um, thank you for joining me today. Uh, yesterday we were talking about, um, how to live a life that you love. So yesterday we covered off having your magic toolbox of things that bring you joy. So whenever you're feeling a bit blah, you can kind of run through the options to see if you can maybe have a little pick-me-up. Um, so I have been doing this work for about 11 years now, and one thing I probably haven't touched on enough is actually allowing yourself to feel all the feels. And so whilst I might be talking about a magic toolbox, I also have had a stool in my kitchen for the last 11 years, right near the Tupperware drawer. And I would often find myself sitting on the stool and crying, sobbing, in fact, with everything just feeling too much, too overwhelming. I don't know what to do. I'm just feeling like I just, I don't know. I don't know. I'm just feeling the feels. So I do have a crying kitchen stool as well. So. Um, I do talk a lot about positivity and joy and, um, coming back to your heart, but there have been a lot of moments where I've been also doing the crying, um, occasionally the yelling. Um, like, you'll really know if you're really wound up. Watch yourself in traffic or maybe walking through crowds or something. I think it's a— or if you spill a cup of coffee or you drop something or do something like that. Watch your reaction because it's a really good indicator of where you're sitting sort of in your, in your like level. I sort of like imagine a glass jar. So if you're sitting at like a 4 or a 5, you're pretty good. You're not completely at a 1 or 2, but I think those people are Zen masters, maybe without lots of stresses in their lives. But maybe a 4 or a 5. If something hits you and it's a 3, well, you can go to an 8. You've still got capacity. But if you're sitting at an 8 or a 9 and something hits you and you're at a— something hits you that's a 3, it's going to flip you over the scale of 0 to 10. Well, no one's 0, but, um, uh, 1 to 10. And so I always like to, like, where are you sitting? Like, like, and those little things, like, if you drop something. Spill something, traffic, someone cuts you off. What's your reactions? Because that will give you quite a good indicator as to where you are sitting in your scale of 1 to 10. So our goal is to bring ourselves down as low as we can. So if we get hit with a 3, it's not a big deal. But if you're always running at a 9, you get hit with 3s, and a 3 might not even be a big thing, but The three is going to tip you over every time. So we've got to bring that scale down, which is the reason for the magic toolbox, but also the magic breathe. We'll just do a big deep breath now in into your belly. Let it all out. So let's do another one of those in and let it all out. So that's my the number one. The golden rule is always. Breathe. 3 big deep breaths for anything is the number one prescription. Um, if you can remember that, because obviously when you're in the moment, if you're at a 12, you're going to be like, you can jam your breathing. I'm not breathing. And you're probably going to be really like annoyed. It's like, it's the last thing you want to do. And it's actually interesting. I can't even remember who it was that said, or maybe I read it somewhere. It was like, when you feel like you have no time to do a meditation, That's exactly the time when you need the meditation. So if you don't have time for meditation, you're driving, you can't do one, then just deep breathing. Deep breathing, maybe hand on heart, hand on belly, really feel the belly fill up. If you need to, I always love— there's a practice I love called BodyTalk, and if you tap your head, so we've got a brain-heart, we have a heart-heart, and we have a stomach-heart. So Say the phrase you'd like your body to absorb. So maybe it's, I am safe, and just tap that out and then tap your stomach. I am safe. And breathe in. And you can tap it again, just repeating the phrase, I am safe, or whatever it is you would like to bring on board. Like, I'm okay, I've got this. Like, I had a big shock last week, so I actually paced around the house doing really deep breathing, tapping myself, just saying, I am safe. You've got this. You're okay. You're safe. You've got this. And just— and so when that— it's a little bit like the other day when we were talking about the anxiety. Um, it's like you've got to actually, um, move that energy, the cortisol and the adrenaline that's pulsing through your body. So that's why I was pacing and doing my tapping. But you don't have to if someone— anyway, okay, enough about that. But point being, crying is definitely okay. Screaming is definitely okay, maybe into a pillow, maybe into a closed— in, in the car when you're by yourself, who knows where. Um, we, we don't want to shove those emotions down because otherwise they're going to come back out when you least expect it, and maybe it's someone you really don't want it to come out at. So watch your levels, 1 to 10, and if you feel you're getting up to the 8 or 9, you'll notice that little things are going to bump you over. And if you start shouting about something, you know you've got to rein it back in. So then flip to your magic toolbox. I forgot some other ones. It's like take a nice bath, just give yourself some space. Um, there's a great lady I love listening to called Alison Armstrong, and she's actually like an expert on men and women and how we relate. And a little bit along the lines of men are from Mars and women are from Venus, that we speak different languages. But she was like, women don't operate well under pressure. So we need to give ourselves more time to do things so we can do them in like our flow state. We're supposed to be like— if you look back to like where we've come from, we were, we were the gatherers, not the hunters. Like, we didn't need to get that beast right now, it would run away and we'd have no food. We were like scanning and looking for the berries and picking them up and, and, and, um, and collecting things like that in a flow. So that's how women Operate better. So if you're at an 8 or 9 and you add rush on it, it's probably going to bump you up to a 10 before anything's even happened. So try and give yourself time and space. And I know I've got 3 kids, it's mayhem. There's 47 things going on at one time always. So I understand if that's sounding like ridiculous and, um, unachievable to give yourself more time, but just see if you can work it in a little bit, just even 5 minutes to start with. Um, I have all the clocks in my house are all fast. So if I look at the time, it's always 5 minutes fast, but I treat it as the time. So then I buy myself the extra time. So when I'm then running late, I've actually built in that 5 minutes. So I'm not sure what that says about me, probably a lot, a lot. Um, but, um, build yourself in some extra time so that you're not increasing your scale factor and you're not getting closer to that 10 so that you can actually just manage everyday things more likely. And you'll understand, know if you need to release some anger or some sadness. And I don't know, some options— a really good, great way to release sadness is to watch a movie that might have something in you that makes you cry. Like, I know that seems silly, but watching sad movies— you can— you remember the other day what I said is our body doesn't know the difference between— like, that's what— remember? Oh God, now I'm like Tripping over my words, but our brain, our imagination doesn't know the difference between reality or imagination. So if you, you can process your sadness on, um, you can process it on a movie that makes you cry. Like, I love rom-coms and I'm always blubbing in them, and my kids are always like, oh, Mum, you're so, you're so like— I'm all pathetic basically. And I'm like, but it's so cute, but it's so nice. Oh, he loves her. Or whatever it is, like, um, um, so you can release those emotions that way. So just take check of your emotions as well. Um, I had thought this was going to be a chat about our purpose here, but I think it's actually been more of a chat about real life and how to gauge where you are on the scale of 1 to 10. Like, that's why, um, when you come back from a holiday, and a holiday you're probably sitting around a 3 or a 4, Especially if it's like a fun one, beach, you know, beautiful music, maybe a cocktail here or there. And then you come back to real life and it's like, boom, all those commitments and 3D realities just smack you in the face. And then you, you get the holiday blues, the post-holiday blues, basically, because you've just instantly jumped up from your 3 or 4 on holiday to a 5 or 6 just by being back into your normal life. So. Um, take check of where you are on your 1 to 10 scale. Doing things like stubbing your toe, dropping something, spilling something, those sorts of things will give you— watch your reaction to, um, where you're at with that, because that will give you an indicator as to where you are. So, um, I can tell in myself if I spill water on the floor or something like that, whatever my reaction is, I can gauge where I am in that, in that chain of, um, It's not a chain. You know, scale 1 to 10. Anyway, I obviously can't speak today, so I'm going to love you and leave you, and, um, I will see you again tomorrow. Okay, love you. Bye.