Susie Tuff, founder of Scanties Anti-Shapewear, talks about following your heart instead of your "shoulds." She uses a simple trick: notice when you say "should," breathe, then ask "Do I want this?" and feel the answer. A broken keyboard or skipped coffee at your desk are signals to pause and listen to what you actually want.
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Hello, beautiful people. Here we are going live again for the Susie Unshape sessions. So I'm Susie Tuff, and I am here to give you an unscripted view of how I am unshaping all of the beliefs and emotional shapewear that no longer serve me. So Um, I am the founder of Scanties Anti-Shapewear, which started off as a pair of comfortable underwear and has morphed into, um, removing the emotional shapewear that we all carry as well. So, um, today I wanted to touch on, um, leading from our hearts. So heart-centered living. Um, I was last night, I, um, was Literally praying to the universe and saying to the angels, help me, help me, help me. And then this morning they delivered something into my YouTube feed, and it had one piece of information in it that just was like a penny drop. So it was that, like— and I know that we all have been told that we're living in the Matrix and nothing's real and it's all illusion. But the penny dropped. The part that actually finally clicked for me was, yes, the 3D world is real. It's as real as anything. You can touch it. It's there. Like, it is there. But I think the point they're trying to make is only what's internal, which is the heart, like heart-led decisions and heart-led um, choices and, and asking your heart for the answers. I think the point is it knows the answers. So yes, while there we need the 3D, we need gravity, we need time, we need this chair to sit on or I would literally fall on the ground. But the piece of the puzzle that I hadn't understood, and hopefully maybe someone else out there needs to hear this as well, is that These are the decisions that matter. So coming from in here, so this morning I was like, okay, I'm gonna do this, I can do this. So this morning I normally get my coffee and come straight down to my computer and sort of just get into it, sort of make that a flow to hustle really. But hustling is not heart-led if it's not inspired. So I was like, okay. I'm not just going to slide into the hustle. I'll take my coffee and I hunted around. It was still quite early, so there wasn't a lot of sun out. So I did hunt and scrounge a piece of sun outside. And I thought, I'm just going to sit and drink my coffee in the sun because I know that that was like it. My heart was saying, yes, we'd like to drink our coffee in the sun. So I'm going to sit and drink my coffee in the sun and just see what happens after that. So I had no— I, I cleared this, cleared that out, like shut it off. It wasn't making the decision. So I then have let the morning flow. And yes, then I did— it dropped, jumped into my mind what I wanted to do next. And I wanted to come in here and upload one of my, um, Wings of Hope meditations, which I'd had loading because they're quite big, so it takes a bit to upload. So I was like, yes, I do want to do that. And then when I was sitting here at the computer And then I actually, instead of just like going through my list, I would actually ask, do I want to do that? No, no. And then something popped up and it was an email I had to write, which interestingly hadn't felt right before now. So, and I'd— and, and to tell you the truth, this injury had stopped me from writing the email because I'd gone to write it a few times and my, my typing was so bad and I was jumbling letters up. And so I was like, okay, we're as We've decided we're going to let tech issues, um, be an indicator that potentially it's not in alignment to do that right now. So I was like, okay, no, I actually feel like writing this email now. Um, and so then the email flowed, exactly what I wanted to come out came out, and it felt like the right time to, to email it. So, um, heart-centered decisions, like even do I want Something to eat. Like, like learning how to listen to the yeses and feel the nos. Sorry, that's a no. That's that. Don't listen there, listen here. So look at that, automatically. Um, so to learn how to listen to what do I really want, like, what is it right now? And maybe it's not as simple as it can jump up to tell you exactly what you do want. But I think you might be able to listen to what you don't want. So if the word should is ever included in a sentence in your brain, that is an old belief system. That is not actually a heart-based decision. So the second you catch yourself in a should, instantly you need to step back, the big deep breath in, do that a couple of times. And then ask the question again, removing the should out of it, and rephrase it. Do I want to do X? Does that feel good? Is there anything that would feel better than that right now? So I remember I had a— I did post a rambling on here once, which was what feels better like, and it's a little bit like a guidance system. Which feels better like? Do I want to do that now? If it's a no, or if you're making a decision between 2 things— do I want to have my coffee in the sun, or do I want to have my coffee in bed? Um, I couldn't. My daughter was in my bed, so I couldn't because she was still sleeping. But so it wasn't an option. But do I want my coffee in the sun? Do I want it in bed? And actually start asking what would feel better for me right now. Um, if I hadn't been able to find the sun outside, outside might have been a terrible idea because it is winter here, even though you can't tell it with the temperature today. But so just start to ask yourselves, what feels better? Feeling, not what should I have. Actually, I've got a good story about that once. Um, I think I was working in the city and I was trying to decide what to have for lunch and I chose the should. I should have the sweet potato soup or the pumpkin soup or something for lunch when what I really, really wanted was something else, but maybe it was classified in the less healthy range or something. I can't remember. So I ate the soup and it gave me the most intense stomach cramps, um, that you could imagine. So there, that's a perfect example of the should— should eat the healthy pumpkin soup. Versus what I can't even remember what the other one was, and it backfired. I was actually in in agony. So that was my so that was a really instant lesson that you need to listen into what feels better for you at the time, and not what you think you should do. So that's what we're all going to practice now. What feels better? And do I what do I want to do? I want to do that. Listen to the no no no. No. Like, you'll hear it. No, I don't. It doesn't feel good. Does it? Or look at the tech things, like, that's not typing. I don't know why that's working. I can't type the email. It's like they're little signs that we just need to tune into to be able to live this heart-based living that I am on a journey to crack. So anyway, I hope you have a lovely day and it's lovely weather wherever you are, and you can choose to have your coffee where your heart wants to Or tea, or water, or whatever you want. Okay, love you. Bye. Okay, all good.
