How to rebuild a life you LOVE!

Hello, welcome, welcome everybody. Um, I am Susie Taff and this is the Susie Unshaped sessions where we are unshaping all of our old belief systems and things that aren't serving us anymore and learning how to reconnect back in our hearts. So, um, I created this channel as a byproduct of years of, um, actually unpeeling all of this, what I call emotional shapewear, that we have absorbed and put on as armor to survive. And, and we don't even— we're not really even conscious of it being there. So today I wanted to take you back on a journey to where all of this began for me. And so basically it began— I had 3 very little kids and My life was literally falling apart, um, at the seams. Um, it hadn't quite fallen yet, but it was when I started asking the question, what is this all about? Like, why are we here? What is the purpose of being here in this— on Earth, in this body? Like, what are we doing here? And so I came across 2 things. The first thing is We are actually here to live in joy and happiness and freedom, which is extremely funny when you think about all of the layers of emotional shapewear and the guilt and the shame and the worry and the expectations and all of those things that we have put on ourselves like an armor nearly. Uh, The exact things that are making it harder for us to live in joy and to live in wonder and to live just in pure bliss. So we— so that is what I'm here to talk to you is about. Let's start peeling some of them off. Now, I've been doing this for over 11 years now, and I will have to tell you that the work is never done. There is always another layer. Because we're human. And being human is— it's, it's the disappointments, it's the exhilaration, it's the— it's all of the— it's the heartbreak, it's the joy, it's the love, it's all of the things. So we, we have them as a human because we're here to experience life. Our souls chose to come here to actually experience all of the, all of the feels, all, every single one of them. So we don't just get to pick and choose. You have to be in balance. The heartbreak. highs and the lows. It's like a, a flow like that. So learning how to ride the waves. Um, the second thing that I came, um, into realization with, and it probably ties in with the first thing, is you have to find your purpose. Like, what is the purpose? What is your purpose? Like, what does your heart tell you that you came here to do? And I'm going to give you a little hint. Um, it's got to do with helping others, so being of service. So joy and to be of service are the 2 main things that I discovered. So that is why today I'm going to talk you through what, what, like, what are the first steps to even getting to that. Um, and it will depend where you are on your journey. Like, you might be so in the 3D mundanity. You might be in a job you hate. You might be living somewhere you don't like. You might feel like you're overwhelmed with blah and that it's really hard to find the spark, something that's going to spark that joy and make you feel like free in yourself. Um, so, or you might be on the other end of the scale and you're like, nope, I'm pretty good. Like, I, I'm, I've, I know what I know what brings me joy. I'm doing it. I'm living it. I'm, um, I'm, I've found my purpose. I'm doing all the things. So if you are, we'd love to hear some of your tips and tricks in the, um, in the chat if you have got some. Um, so let's start by, let's take it back. Like, let's just pretend. So this is my lovely, these are my matching phoenix wings. So this was created from the Wings of Hope program that I have created, which is a sort of 12-month free program that can help you sort of step by step rebuilding a life that you love. So, um, we are going to be the phoenix and start at the beginning, um, start at the bottom. But, um, some of this will resonate and some won't resonate for you. So firstly, do you know what actually brings you joy? Like, do you— could you write down a list? Like, I call it my magic toolbox, and it's a list of things that I know can be my go-to if I'm feeling like I'm in a slump. Um, for example, some of the things in my magic toolbox are, um, music. Music for me is a massive one. I love to put on— and it depends, I might be in the mood for like Enya soothing, or I might be in the mood for, um, like '90s pop songs, or who knows. But have like for me music is in my treasure chest. Also, I love to add music and then cook. I love cooking. For me, cooking is a form of meditation, and I think there's people like me, and then there's other people be like, "Oh my God, you're mad!" But for me, if I get if I start cooking, especially with some music like that, for me, I just go into my flow and I do my thing. And as I do everything in life, I don't. do things in half measures. So instead of cooking one thing, I'll probably cook about 4 things, of which none of my kids eat. None of them will eat any of the food I cook. So 4 things is slightly excessive for one person by themselves. So anyway, I often am giving them to my parents or, or friends or anyone that would like to eat my food, or I actually just save it in little portions and freeze it. So then I've got something yummy for later for myself. Um, so cooking, um, sunshine. If there's any sunshine going and sitting in the sunshine, that is another one for me. Um, pestering my cat. She's not a very affectionate cat, but, um, she is affectionate in her own way. So she'll just sit at a distance. She would never sit on my lap. Sometimes she might— sometimes might sit up and just rest next to me, but she would never come and sit on my chest or anything. So, but anyway, seeing her is always good. Hanging out with friends, especially like friends that, um, you've known forever, that know you in all your best and worst. Um, though that is— so anyway, I am, I am babbling now, but magic toolbox, things that make you feel good. Maybe going for a run might make you feel good. Maybe doing some yoga. Um, always breathing. I'm always banging on. I will put my little breathing quick 10-minute, um, link to the Miracle Amazing Loved, um, guided quick 10-minute meditation in here just because it's my combination of breathing and Music and being reminded how amazing you are. So, um, that is another good one. So that's the point, is find number one what actually makes you feel good and then get a list of them. Um, I actually remember it was, um, I was actually when I was doing my side hustle before I got Scanties off the ground, and I was at work and it was probably about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and I was having a woe is me moment. I was like, oh, poor me. Why can't— why does it have to be so hard? Why is my life so hard and everyone else's so easy? You know, the pity, pity, pity party for one. And then I said, okay, well, let's play in a perfect world. So I got out a piece of paper or started typing in, in a, in a sheet or something. I can't remember what I did. And I wrote down, in my perfect world, what would I do right now? And it would be like, oh, go on a holiday. A big hotel bed. Um, and then it was like, oh, just the comfy bed, and then like closing the curtains and just going to sleep. And so I sort of— it was like I wanted the money so I could go to the holiday so I could close the curtains and go to sleep. And I went, hmm, if I looked at all of this, I think you're just tired. So I looked at— I didn't actually want money. What I was feeling lack, but it wasn't of money. I was actually exhausted. So I remember, I think I wrapped it up at 4 o'clock, finished a little bit early, and I went home, did the bare minimum of what I needed to do, and I hopped into bed. And then I think I got out, fed the kids, and then hopped back into bed, um, because I was shattered. I was exhausted. So step 1, also check you're not exhausted because it's very hard to be joyous when you're exhausted. And sometimes, and for me, I'm a real doer, like, go, go, flog the horse, flog the horse, flog the horse. And sometimes we need to take a breath. Are you exhausted? Maybe you should kick some shoulds out of bed and just come back and give yourself some time and space. So rest actually should be in that magic toolbox as well. Rest. Do you need rest? Are you shattered? Like we have such a big mental load. It might not even be a physical load. It might just be the mental load of having to keep all the balls in the air. You might just be exhausted. So I'm throwing rest in there as well, although I'm not very good at it, but I am getting better. Um, and another one that helped me, helped dig me right out of rock bottom was definitely nice meditations, like going inside. And do you know what I think? Part of the meditation is just the first few minutes, which is just breathing and reconnecting back to self. I'm not even like— the rest does do work with the subconscious, etc., but I think the first few minutes of the breathing and coming back to self are the most important and the ones that you get the most benefit from. So that is, um, the first step. So we're only going to cover one today because I know that, um, videos that are too long, just— I feel like that's another— it's a chore. So I like to keep these short and snappy. Um, so rebuilding your life with joy. The first step is what brings you joy? We need to know that before we can start finding it, like adding it into our life. Um, and then the second is to start to figure out what your purpose is. And you don't actually have to earn money in it to start with. If you find what brings you joy and gives you a sense of purpose together, like as I did, I started it as a side hustle and did my other job at the same time. I found a flexible job so I could do both together. So maybe, maybe it's— no, let's slow down. We're gonna just stick with joy and, um, starting to think about what, what could bring you joy and gives you a sense of purpose that can help others feel joy as well. So there we go. That is stage 1 in this process. And I hope you have a lovely day, and I will be back with the other stages later. Bye. Bye.