Self Acceptance- what the H does that even mean???

Hello, welcome to Susie Unshaped. I'm just going to start this with, if you haven't done our 31 challenge of living from your heart in a 3D world, I highly recommend you do it. It's totally free, just click on the playlist and start from day 1. And if you have done it, welcome. If you haven't, you can still listen. Some of this you might think is bat— is bat crazy, but If you don't, or you, or you might already be on our frequency and on our wavelength, so you might not need to do the— is that really dirty? I'm just gonna do this. I mean, this is really weird, but just looks super dirty. Oh well. Um, if you're still here, you are probably definitely on the same frequency as me. Oh my God, is that— oh, there's my pretty bird again! Oh, there's this really pretty bird and he's got yellow chest And he's only little but very pretty. Anyway, I also saw a baby hummingbird the other day, which was teeny tiny as well. So anyway, birds might be significant for you because I'm seeing a lot of birds at the moment. And I wanted to talk to you again, like I've just been— the penny has been dropping more and more about this sitting and feeling in our humanness. And how I've been bypassing parts of it. And, and because the 31-day challenge, like, in that we understood, like, we know our truth. Our truth is that we are a divine universal source energy, like, creation of the universe. We are a divine soul. We are from the energy that makes everything, and therefore we are everything and no thing. Like, we are everything and no thing at the same time because We choose to come down into this human body to be in form and to experience our divinity as a human. But when we leave this human body, we are formless and we go into— back into the universal energy as, as a formless soul essence, basically. Um, and so it's this dance between being human and being A divine soul. And that's the integrating part. That's the, I suppose, living in the 3D world part. Because now we know who we are, but we have to remember why we're here. And why we're here is to live, like, in this human body, like, to have an experience. But this is the beauty of it now, is that we know who we are though. So we know that we're like divine source energy, we know our truth, and so it's just balancing the human part of us to allow us to fully play and express and create as our divine soul. So I was talking yesterday about I'd been skipping over parts of my duality as a human. And I think even like, I suppose it's a little bit spiritual bypassing, because if I know who I am and I know my divine like truth, and I know that I'm a universal soul, and I know that's pure love, I was jumping over the parts of my human. I was skipping feeling the parts of my human, and I was balancing too much into the Like the— I was skipping over not the negative, but the, like, you know what I mean? Like the not so— I'll just give you the example I was using. I was like, I was being too brave and not allowing myself to be terrified enough. So my, so my, my scales as a human weren't even. Like, we have to accept all parts of our humanness because there is no right or wrong. Like You are equally worthy if you are terrified, and you are equally worthy if you are brave. And I really— I suppose I don't know if I call it spiritual bypassing or what I call it, but once I knew my truth, like, it's so easy to know, well, if I'm a divine soul, then I have access to infinite abundance, infinite knowledge, infinite, infinite anything at any one— at any now moment, which is all that is real, is this now moment. Like, now, now, now, that's all that's real. The past doesn't exist. Leave it behind. But what I was doing was I was like, I was jumping too much into the trust and the— I was jumping like I was waiting too heavily of my human trust because I know that I have all that access. And I was not balancing the acceptance of my human To doubt. Like, I was trying to shuffle the— shuffle— like, shove the doubt under the rug. Like, but that's my human part that can't be shoved under the rug. We have to feel. And that's what— like, yesterday I just sat. I sat in, like, what have I been too scared to feel? What have I been, like, glossing over to jump to the Good part, the trust and the faith and the courage and the bravery and all those things that I've been holding on to without acknowledging the other side of the coin. And I think that that is the part about being human, is the polarity. And you've got to balance and acknowledge and accept the part of yourself that has doubt. That is terrified, that's scared, that's not sure, that doesn't know what they're doing. Like, we've got to equally accept those parts of ourselves because they're the— that's our humanness. And I was definitely— and I can see it— I was running away from those. Like, I was terrified of them. I was terrified of just accepting That I am a terror— like, I can be a terrified human. I can also be a super brave human, but I, I am a human, so I have both in equal measure. Like, I am a human. I'm not just brave, I'm also terrified. I'm not just trusting, I'm also full of doubt. And I was definitely glossing over Because I know my truth, and I know that as a universal, like, divine creation, I know what I have access to. But I was not allowing my human to be like a whole human. A human is both brave and terrified. A human is both full of doubt and full of trust. Like, that's why we came here, to experience the polarity of these, the duality of these emotions. Because in, in, like, as Source energy, like, it's all conceptual. As a human, we embody these experiences. And I think the fact that I have been ignoring my human that is doubtful and ignoring my human that is terrified. Or not ignoring them, but, but we're just like plastering over the top with the bravery and the, and the trust and the, like, all that. I've been, I've been, I've been spamming them with too much of the positives. Well, this, you know what I mean, like the opposite. And I wasn't allowing the other side to balance out correctly. And so because of that, I was actually manifesting more of the other side into my reality so that I could have it, like, finally the aha moment to realize in order for me to balance that out, I need to love and accept that part of the human of me. And yes, I feel terrified, but I'm no longer going to like plaster it. But I trust, but I trust, but I trust. It's like, I'm terrified, but I trust, I trust it. Like, it's like, no, you're allowed to feel terrified because we know who we are, but we have to honor our human in the feeling of being terrified and feeling sad or unsure or doubting. Like we have to honor those parts of our human. We don't just honor the parts that trust and are brave and courageous. Yes, we honor them too, but not in the face of neglecting their opposites. And I suppose like it was easier to understand in like terms of like accepting that you could be rude or angry or lazy or Or those sorts of terms, they seemed easier to see, to be like accepting of them. Because I think what I'm really getting into, it's nearly like the secrets that you don't tell anyone. Like no one really knows how terrified you might be feeling inside and how much of a mask you're putting on. Because everyone's putting on masks to stop from sharing how terrified they are. Like, they're really personal emotions, like terrified and like doubt that I can do it. Like, we— like, we're taught from such a young age you don't tell anyone you doubt if you can do it. Like, who said— like, you, you psych yourself up. It's like, yes, I can do it. Yes, I can do it. But in that way, not honoring the part of our human that does doubt if they can do it. Because for every part of our human that thinks we can do it, there's an equal part that is in doubt that we can do it as well. Like, I don't know, that's what I've— that is what I've come to the last couple of days when I've been really forced with this emptiness and these feelings To like actually look at what I have been avoiding. What have I been avoiding feeling? And that's so that's what I've come up with. They're like the real, like internal monologue. And there was a word I was talking about abandonment yesterday, and how we're terrified of abandonment. And then I was listening to something on one of my YouTubers. I can't remember which one. Freya, I think maybe. I love her. She's so amazing. Um, and it was about— and I've always talked about the lies we tell ourselves are the worst lies that we'll tell anyone. And she was— it was— I think it was her or it was Shay. I can't remember. And they were talking about self-abandonment. And to me, that was just like a What? What? What? The just the way they phrased it. Self-abandonment is the is what I've been doing. I've been abandoning the parts of myself that I was trying to like over not positive think my way through, but like over like. Overemphasized the trust and the bravery and you can do it, and I was underestimating how much emphasis and value I needed to put on the part of my human that was terrified and that was doubtful and that, and that felt like maybe they can't do it, maybe they can't hold it all together. And I think the reason we can look at these now Is because, like, the reason that it makes it easy to look at this stuff is that we actually do know our truth now. Like, we can anchor into that truth of who we are as a soul essence like that at any time we need to. So we know our essence, we know our soul essence, but I think it's the integration of the humanness That's, that's the important part. Like, we didn't come here to be a soul essence. Like, we could stay there for that. We don't need to come and be a human for that. Like, we did not come onto Earth and choose to be a human to go and live in the 5D, or like, like, do you know what I mean? And now, like, a monk on a hill, like, connected to our divine. It's like, we can do that there. We don't need to do that here. Like, we have this opportunity. We chose this opportunity to come here and be a divine soul in a human body, like having a divine experience. Like, that's— we chose to come here. Like, we chose that. And that's why we have to honor the humanness of the journey, because it's the whole point. Like, it is literally the whole point of why we're here. And now we know that truth, and that's the veil of illusion, is we know who we are 100%. We know our truth so that we can sit in our human so much more easily because we know it doesn't detract from who we are. And it's just watching the parts that you're avoiding, like What are you avoiding from feeling? And this was huge for me, and I like— it backed me into a corner where I had no choice but to figure this out, which is a lot of this stuff. The last 2 months, I backed myself into a corner in order to figure this stuff out, and I'm so glad that I did. And this circumstance of events that has led me to back myself into a corner and figure this stuff out, and the only way I was going to get out of the corner is to figure this stuff out. This has changed my life. Like, I will never ever be the same ever again. The last few months— like, I will never be ever the same. You can't go back. It's like The Matrix. It's like I took whichever pill that shows you the illusion. I can't go back. Once you've seen it, you can't unsee it. Like, once you know who you are, you can't unknow that. The only thing you can do is like when you run away or hide or, or like numb and like avoid and like when you're not present. That's what you've got to look at. What are you running away from? Look in your life. Like, are you numbing? Are you hiding? Are you Like, like being busy? Are you like 3D working? Are you like what? Are you, are you running away from feeling something? Like, if you really think about it, and for me I could tell because lately the last few mornings, and I haven't had this for a while, but I have been waking up with that same terrified feeling when I like, when my eyes wake, when my like, as soon as I wake up. And I can talk myself through it. It's like, okay, let's just reach for the little things. Like, okay, my My pillow's so soft and nice, like I can reach for the better feelings. But I was also highly aware that if that's coming up as soon as I wake up, it wants to be addressed. And look at exactly what I just said then, like reach for the better feelings. I was already like transmuting my fear instead of sitting with my fear and sitting with the fact that I am no less worthy. if I'm feeling terrified than I am if I'm feeling brave and really accepting and acknowledging my— the part of my human and allowing. It's allowing. And it's funny because I've been listening— I was listening to something on peace and it was like this person said they don't choose happiness, they choose peace, because with happiness there's sadness. And it was some like Tibetan monk or something like that. And so I've been sitting with that, and then I was listening— who was I listening? I think it was Courtney from the Divinely Aligned channel, and she was like— was it her? I don't know, one of them. They're all amazing. I love them so much. They've got me here. It's just peace is just a mindset. Peace is being able to sit in your human, in your presence of who you are, and accept both sides. It's, it's in the permission to accept both sides of your human. She said it better than that, but anyway, it's like, it's permission to accept the duality of being a human. It's the permission to accept I am terrified, but I'm also brave, and that everything is like in balance. And so if you're being brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, and terrified you as being neglected, neglected, neglected, it's gonna— situations are gonna come up to cause you to be terrified because it wants the attention. It doesn't want the attention, that sounded like— you know what I mean? Like, it needs to be balanced out. Your brave— your, your brave human and your terrified human need to balance each other out so they are just neutral and you are just— you're neutral. Oh, just breathe. Like, I don't know, I've tried to say this like a few different ways, but I hope it's making sense because I've just been like, like literally the last few days just working through this in my head, trying to— like, now we know who we are, that's the living from the heart. We get that part, that's easy, that's a no-brainer. But it's It's transmuting it in the 3D. It's the actual 3D living that way, which is what we're learning to do and that we've never done before. Like, the, the knowledge that I've, like, uncovered— well, remembered, they say— remembered in the last even 6 weeks is like Insane. I could never like, like it. Like I'm just like my mind is blown at where I am now versus where I was six weeks ago. Okay, that's. I don't know where I was going with that. Maybe nowhere. If you haven't done the challenge, do the challenge. But I think if you've stayed listening to this long, I think you probably understand what I'm talking about. You understand what I'm talking about and just that integration in the in the. 3D, and what are you avoiding, and what are you running away from? And just being able to sit in your human and accept all the parts of you, that's what makes you whole, and that's what brings you peace. That's what peace is. It's the ability to accept both sides of the coin, to accept both sides of the equation, so that like everything is balanced. And that's what peace is. Peace is that, like, just acceptance of your whole human. And that's why we're here. Okay, so now we get to go and have fun and play. So I love you lots, and let me know what you think about that. Okay, love you. Bye.