Susie on the Sofa with Cass - Ep 8

Hello and welcome back to Susie on the Sofa with Cass. Spirit fingers, hey! I know we're getting more and more ridiculous with this as we go along, but that's the point, isn't it? Life is supposed to be a little bit ridiculous and a little bit fun.

Yeah.

And that's actually what we want to talk about today, is about how to make life a bit more fun and make life more enjoyable and, um, like finding your why And how to get through to the how to make it there, like finding like our North Star metric, which is like your number one reason for doing something in life. We've decided or discovered is because decided has a very like decided on this. Yeah, it's like no, we discovered it, didn't we? And Cassie did went on. 2 very long walks.

2 very long walks.

Yes, yes. 800 kilometers.

We won't bang on about too much because we've already done that, but we—

she discovered a lot of things about herself. So that was the point of us pressing record, is as we're processing what she's discovered and then applying it back to 3D life, which is messy and chaotic and like full of like appointments and schedules and Things that you have to do, and like how can we bring what she discovered?

Like that's it. You didn't even learn it.

You uncovered it about yourself, and that's the point, isn't it? And that's what we keep banging on about, and we'll continue to. It's all like it's all about coming back into who you are and like discovering like what do you want to do? What do you love to do? Like, and I think sometimes it needs a boggle button, like, life explosion, and to check out, to peel back some of those layers and start to rebuild from a place of, well, who am I and what do I like? Like, and I think the Camino gave you such a good, um, environment to be able to, like, come to those realizations, but We also understand that not everyone can do a Camino.

Yeah. Like, like taking, yeah, taking 6 weeks or 5 or 6 weeks out of your life to, uh, walk across the country is not feasible or achievable, or maybe it's not feasible or achievable for most people. And a whole bunch of people don't want to do that. That's not going to light them up. It's not going to bring them joy. A lot of people are like, you did what?

Why?

You chose to do that? That was your holiday? I was like, yeah. Yeah, but I know for me it it brings me really back into my body to be out walking.

You just knew in your heart it was what you need, what you needed.

What I needed, yeah. And then that's Cass's phrase from Camino is: Camino gives you what you need, not what you think you want. Let's repeat after me. Camino gives you what you truly need, not what you think you want.

And that's life.

Yeah.

Life is doing the same. Like life will give you what you need. Not what you think you want, and that can be really painful.

Yeah, so we're not pretending, we're not Pollyanna-ing.

No, no, this is not— this is the non-Pollyanna version because we want to show you how we've processed these experiences into like messy real life, and how when it is messy and chaotic and things get thrown at you like new parameters that you now— like when you're trying to figure something out and all of a sudden a whole new list of parameters comes in and you're like, oh my God, like, how— like, how do you— that happened to me yesterday and I burst the fufu valve, blew the gasket, glitched. I was like, I was like done. Like, I, like, I couldn't— I was already— I've already at the moment trying to figure out so many moving parts and how to make them all fit, and then I got thrown in a whole new set of parameters.

Curveballs.

Curveballs, yes, curveballs. And each with them had its own set of logistics, but relying on external sources. So it's actually my daughter, she needs some major dental work done. And so we need to like get this scan, then we need to get an appointment with the endodontist, and we like all of these things. But it's summer holidays and she wants to go back to Australia and she wants to go to acting camp. And like, it's just like all of these new things have come in that I've now got extra pieces of puzzle to fit together. And I've also got missing pieces of the puzzle. Like, the people are going, what is she talking about?

Logistics. It's logistics.

Yes. And darling Cass has been supporting me through— well, it's trying to figure out a puzzle without all the pieces. And so sometimes you just have to walk away from it, go back to basics. Like, we sat in bed and watched a really— Landman, which we love that show, absolutely love it. And that's where TV was actually feeding me, lying in bed and watching TV last night. Like, my brain could not think its way through another second. Like, I was, I was glitching. I was like, I was like a robot. Like, I'm not— it's like, I can't compute, cannot compute. It's like, whoa, shut down. Yeah, shutdown mode. So TV in bed was exactly what the doctor ordered. Um, and that's what, like, you've got to note, like Know you yourself. This is what we're talking about, is connecting in and learning about yourself so that you actually even know, okay, I'm glitching, I need to just step away, I need to turn— plug myself— unplug myself from the wall and just turn myself off for a bit.

Yeah.

And then you wake up in the morning and you're fresher and you can— although I was, you know, I was glitching in my dreams and I was like, come on, please, no rest. It's like my dreams were those sorts of dreams just looping around that you couldn't really solve anything and you're just going round and round in circles. So I woke up this morning, I was like, oh, thank God I'm not dreaming anymore.

And now I just have to deal with the reality.

Oh yeah, I think reality was— the dreams were chaotic, so I was quite happy to wake up. And then Cass and I, we did the kids and then we were like, right, to the beach, to the beach, to the beach, back to the, like, to the back cave. We're like, to the beach! And Off we went down and just like, oh, you can just breathe. And it was like the— it was— it's moody here at the moment and gray and windy and a bit cold. And, but it was just amazing to just get out and just stop thinking.

Yeah.

And just like, just put your feet in the water even though it's very cold.

It's very— it's like literally I'm breathing a sigh of relief or a release. Um, when you put your feet in the sand and walk in the sand, and then when the waves come and crash over your legs and just stand and look at the ocean, it— you could just feel the energy coming from the, from the ocean, from the air, from the wind. It's— yeah, it's a beautiful feeling.

And I think it's also probably like a reminder that like, like things like the waves just do what they do. They're just in a constant flow. They just come in and they go out, and they come in and they go out. Some are big, some are little, which is Probably exactly like life. You get hit with little waves, they're fine to deal with. You might get the big one that you— I got caught between a rock and a big wave the other day, completely saturated me. And I came up and told my daughter and she was like, oh my God, you're so embarrassing. Were you like that person? And I was like, I was that person squealing, saturated in my dress. And I was like, yep, I was that person. You got squashed between the wave and the rock. But That's life. Like, sometimes you do get smashed with a big one. Yeah. And once you know, like, when you know yourself and know your ways to get through the big ones, it makes it like you can go back to, like, your magic— I call it the magic toolbox. It's like, go back to basics. And how do I bring my central nervous system down? How do I breathe through this? How do I Sometimes you have to just put it on the shelf, like put it away. You can't— like right now I'm only doing myself more damage, or it's eating me to try and keep solving this problem. Yeah.

So— And it doesn't mean the problem goes away.

Oh, you just—

You just shelve it for a bit.

You're just putting it— you just put it on the shelf.

Yeah.

And then it's still there, you know it's still there. And then when you feel strong enough again, maybe calm enough after a walk, after— like I haven't even tackled that problem. I've gone a few times to my brain and went, no, Not ready. Not today. Not today. And then, so we actually— another problem that I've had with like an online registration thing, which has been a disaster. We— there was a point today when I've been sort of not putting it off, but I haven't felt like I wanted to do it. And then today it just popped up and said, I think it'd be really fun to just have a play and see how, how far we can go. And well, it broke me eventually, and that's when we were like, okay. Maybe it's time to step away. We've done enough. I think I got a few more bits of it solved. I haven't solved the whole problem. We've put it on the shelf for a while and we're like, let's go record, because that actually does bring us both joy. We have so much fun doing this and just the clanger ahas that we have. Like, even me just realizing that the waves are like life. They are like life. Like, sometimes it's calm and sometimes it's stormy and sometimes it's sunny and sometimes it's moody. And you can find the beauty in it.

Even when you get smashed up against a rock and saturated in your dress.

Exactly, exactly. I was absolutely— more thinking the time when I was trying to go for my beach walk thinking it would solve everything. Yeah, I was like, I will go for the beach walk, it's in my magic toolbox. And I was walking down there and I really didn't want to. I think I was exhausted. Um, and so the bird shat on me and I kept walking thinking, oh yeah, I could still go. And it's like, okay, you just had a major sign. Turn around. Like, you're not going with bird poop in your hair. Yeah.

Shower.

Shower.

Bed.

Yeah, shower. And I got in my pajamas and I think I watched a funny movie, um, or a rom-com. I love a rom-com. So sometimes that's a prescription. So not, not every option is going to be the right one for you, and it's learning. Like, I was still trying to bash the square peg into the round hole in my magic toolbox. I might put it's a beach walk, it'll always make me feel better. And it's like, well, maybe no, not today. Yeah, today you need comfy pajamas, freshly washed hair, obviously, twice. Yes. And a nice funny movie, like a nice, like, feel-good movie. And it was so— and when I got into— when I got into bed and actually started watching it, I was— I did get that, oh my God, this is actually so nice, I'm so excited to And that's the feeling we're trying to show you how we tap into.

Yeah.

And so you can start recognizing the feeling for yourself. And then, you know, like, is this ugh, or is this yes, I'm excited? And at the beginning of today when I started doing that thing, I was excited. Like, let's have a play with this, just see how far we go. By the end, I was like, okay, this is enough. We're done. Put it aside. And, um, Cass and I were having our, you know, hot tub time machine this morning, which we are so lucky lucky to have, um, at the moment. And we were just talking about, like, I've been trying to— yesterday in, um, is that episode 7? We were talking about if you have something that you don't really want to do but you have to do. So for example— well, no, you don't have to do. It's more like something you don't want to do. How do you assess if you should do it or not? And so the why—it's linking the why to what it is. Like, for example, something super boring like I need to do my taxes. Like the why for that is pretty important. If I don't do them, big there's big consequences. It's not a low stake environment. It is big. So I am at some point going to have to do them. But then how can I adapt my environment while I'm doing them to make them seem? Less, um, like, uh, so ways that I would do that would be do them after I've had a really good night's sleep so I have a lot of energy and I'm fresh. And I would put some like really like good music on, like the sort that like— find the tone that helps you work. Sometimes if it's too wordy and stuff, I get— I don't— I can't concentrate. You'll, you'll know what music works for you for whatever the task is that you're doing. Maybe you want it silent, maybe you want nothing, or rainforest noises, or ocean crashing. Or sometimes I actually even like to put on Netflix the, um, fireplace crackling on the TV.

Oh, wow.

So you've got like the big fireplace crackling and you can have that. And some of them have music with them and some is just the crackle of the fire. So set yourself up for success by knowing how to do hard tasks, that the why is big enough that you have to do it. And Like, make it as enjoyable as possible.

And we were talking this morning also, because, you know, exercise is something that is— it's a topic that, you know, everyone— we feel better when we exercise, we feel better when we move our body, um, and you get that endorphin high at the end of it and you feel amazing. And we were talking about the differences in So if you are able to go to a gym and, and that's something that feeds you, that's great. But we— Susan and I were talking about the difference between gyms. I don't, I don't love a gym, but I think because I haven't found the right gym with the right environment to help me feed the why of movement, strength, um, fit— not fitness so much, but movement and strength.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and Susie has, uh, had— has been to a gym in the past that ticked the why for fitness and strength and feeling really amazing, but the parameters around it were incredible. The difference between the gym that Sus went to and the ones that I've been to in the past is that the ones that I've been to are generally overrun by really big, strong, muscly men who kind of hog all the equipment.

It's a little on the— You feel a bit intimidated.

Intimidating. Um, it's a bit on the smelly side. Um, you always have to walk through awkward areas to get to the change rooms or the the classrooms, and they're just not environments that feed me. But the, the why for me, the strength and the health, um, is strong enough for me to find a different avenue for it. But Sus had a gym where the environment— well, I won't tell— you tell the story about your gym.

Yeah, so mine was— and, and I used to be a runner, and I hated it, but I liked how fit and strong I was when I did it. But I hated the actual process. Not one bit did I enjoy none of it. Maybe when I stopped. Like, I even did triathlons and I did things like, like, I can do them, but I don't find them enjoyable. And so I was actually working from home at the time, and I think it was lovely Maureen again, she comes up, she was like, you need to do something where you're leaving the house and being around people. And so I thought, okay, I'll, um, well, maybe I'll join this. There was a new— it was newish gym. It was, um, And at the time, so I walked in there from the car park, you walk up the stairs and instantly you're hit with this smell, which is like us being in a day spa.

Mm-hmm.

So every time I went to that gym, that's what I was hit with. I was like, oh, I just felt relaxed the second I walked in. And then you went upstairs and you were greeted by a lovely person. They had all these different classes, like ranging from like beautiful yoga in a, this enorm— like gorgeous room with a massive salt wall lamp. Like salt lamp wall or something, like huge salt bricks. And then they had like the barre classes or the boxing classes or the HIIT classes, or that— like so many options. It was at the time that was right, that suited me. I didn't have to use an alarm clock to wake up because for me, I'm a terrible sleeper and sleep is my number one priority. And using alarms to wake myself up just— it can ruin what little sleep I have. So allowing myself to wake up naturally is a top priority because it gives me the best quality rest than if I cut myself short and pull. Yeah, so that was— that's like for me. And it had a class at 7:15, so I knew I was always up by that, like in time to get to that class. And it was just— and then afterwards there was like, they had like cold towels in a fridge, and they had, and they had beautiful Aesop products in the bathroom. And the baths, the showers are nicer than my shower at home, so I'm like, why wouldn't I shower here? So it wasn't just about the— and I love the classes. They were like, had great music and they had, um, like— and also actually we realized you had to actually book the classes like an hour, like you had to book into them and some of them booked up. So I think you were also booking them into your schedule. It's like, okay, I booked that one, I booked that one, and I booked that one. And I used to turn up to most of them and I never felt, uh, I don't want to go. And even though they were still hard, like I was working out hard in them, it was so much more enjoyable than flogging myself going running. Like, so much more enjoyable. Um, so it's sort of like, the point is, is the end result was the same— fit and strong and like, like, I felt good. But the how I got there was completely different. And it also was super reasonable. The price of this gym was like crazy reasonable. I used to tell people and they're like, really?

Yeah.

Because it didn't actually have gym equipment and there was Uh, so there wasn't a gym equipment section. Um, so anyway, maybe that's why, I don't know. But it was very reasonable. It wasn't expensive. And I met some gym friends and then we'd see each other in classes and I had my gym buddies and that was really nice too because I was working from home. So I wasn't going out and seeing people in the daytime. So to go and have that connection in the morning and be like invigorated and ready to tackle the day, it was like real— oh, I was sore as anything.

Yeah.

Like, they were like—

There were days you couldn't— you struggled to walk.

Yeah, yeah, like the Tin Man. Tin Man. Lower yourself onto a chair. Yeah, so the point is, is are you flogging yourself doing something because you want the end outcome that maybe you could do a different thing and get the same outcome? Is what we were talking about. It's like, what areas of your life are you, um, pushing through that you could maybe reevaluate and find yourself something that brings you more joy?

And maybe the gym is the right place for you. Maybe running is the right thing for you. Um, but connecting with the why you're doing it and then just checking in to see, do I fit? Do I feel like I have to go for a run, or that I should go for a run, or I should go to the gym because I paid for the membership? Like, you can get the same outcome based on your why with different parameters that don't feel like a slog. Like, Like we've said, life is not easy, but it shouldn't be a slog. We don't have to be like whipping ourselves with cat-o'-nine-tails.

Yeah, are you punishing yourself? I'm just going to turn our light on because it's gone really dark. Oh, did that work? Yeah, I think so. Um, yeah, yeah, okay.

Mid-video.

Yeah, technical. A mid-video glow-up. Yeah, so what areas of your life are you pushing through that you could maybe re— like, set yourself up for a more enjoyable experience?

Yeah, yeah, with the, with the why always there.

Yes, always there.

And constantly, again, like we keep banging on about, keep checking in with yourself. Does this feel good for me today? Is this going to eat me today, or is it going to feed me? Um, is going to the gym at 6 o'clock in the morning going to feed me, or Is it actually something that I really want to do? Or maybe do I just need to go for a walk around the block?

Um, or do you actually hate the gym, hate running, and like don't know what else to do? Do you love dancing? Like, yeah, dancing is hard. Yeah, I remember doing, um, I wonder, I've never even tried this, maybe I should. Um, because I did a hip, like I was doing like hip-hop dancing sort of thing classes for a little bit. Like this was years ago, 10 years ago, and I loved it. I think that the, the lady that used to run it, she left, so then they weren't on anymore, but I absolutely loved it. It was so much fun and it was so hard. Um, but I was just thinking, I wonder if YouTube has some like choreography. It was like, um, film clip dancing. It was so much fun. But YouTube has a gazillion free things that you can watch and look like. My daughter puts— pulls up YouTube Pilates and yoga things and runs through them complete. Like, just sort of like take a step back and I don't like this and this, but like we're trying to dig into what do you like? Yeah. Like what actually does bring you joy?

Yeah. And, and experiment with some different things. Um, maybe try, and you know, from the safety of your own home, if you, if you don't, if hip-hop is for you or you think you might want to give it a go.

I never knew you did hip-hop.

I know.

This could be good. This could be great.

We might try it after. You know, try just experiment with it, with different things. Some things might be, oh, that is so— that's just— it's too much for me, um, or it didn't bring me the joy that I thought it was going to. Maybe try dancing, maybe try, I don't know, tai chi or qigong in the park.

Um, yeah, and also, like, do you want to see people, or are you overloaded with people already? Like, my point of going to the gym was actually to connect with people. So if you need connection, instead of doing the dancing at home, Join a dancing club, and then what you're also gonna you're gonna find people with similar interests as well. Yeah. And just do some stuff outside of the box a little bit. I think it is. It's like just try some new things. Yeah. And just you might surprise yourself. Yes. Hip hop. Yeah. You're blown away. You're blown away. That is great. There were some other girls doing it, and they were like, "Do you want to come to this?" I went, "Sure, sure." Why not? Yeah. Love it. I was a cracker on a dance floor for a while, pulling out my moves. People were like, what is she doing? Having fun is the answer. It's some hip-hop moves. It's the whole point.

It's supposed to be fun.

It is supposed to be fun.

And laughing, and laughing at yourself, and not being afraid to be the cringe— like, stepping into that. I don't know, we haven't really spoken about this, but stepping into that, you know, when you You feel cringy, like you're doing something embarrassing, or you don't know how to do it the first time. And it's— everything's going to be awkward when you do it the first time.

Well, yeah, that's exactly what happened when I— so I didn't— I haven't always liked talking to camera, and so I had to actually build myself up to it. And I started around my 40th birthday, and I was like, right, okay, it was 2020. It was COVID, and I was like, I need to be able to speak on camera because I have a brand, Scanties. And in order to get the message across, people— like, I need to speak to people. I need to tell them why I'm doing this. I need to tell them what this is about. It's, it's like people want to connect with why. Well, why this product? And why— like, how— why did you think of this? And, and so I was like, okay, I've got to start recording. And so I started Kind July, which was 31 days, and I had to record a video on Instagram and post it on Instagram every day for 31 days. Anyway, okay, the first day I was just— I started recording and it wasn't live, so— and it was just so flat, and I was so like cringy at myself for doing it.

Yeah.

And I was like, okay, right, that is terrible. Like, how are we going— like, how are we going to get through this? We said we committed to do it. Let's do it. And so I was, so I opened the first one with, Can't You Lie, Can't You Lie, K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-Kan't You Lie? Because it changed the energy. It made me laugh at myself already. It was like, this is supposed to be silly and fun. And it's not like, it's not an infomercial. Like your life isn't an infomercial. It's supposed to be, Can't You Lie, Can't You Lie? And I actually, and then what I actually did for Every day, I kind of got a system, and what I do is actually get my playlist and press shuffle, and whatever song came up first on the shuffle, I'd listen to it. I'd listen, read the lyrics, and then I would open the kind July with me singing the bit of the song that I thought was relevant, and then talk about it. And I had a friend that literally said, "I am so sorry, I can't watch you. It is so cringy." And I was like. For me, that feedback like normally would make me go, "Oh my God, it is cringy." I know it's cringy because I already had to get over my cringy fear. I was already like nervous and embarrassed like for myself, but I was. But my why was so much stronger was well, are you gonna promote my brand for me and like get it the message out to people all around the world? No. So this is what I have to do to share. My story and share my why. So my why was stronger than the cringe factor or her telling me that I was cringe. I'm like, well, okay, this is what I have to do. Yeah. And my why to do it. And you know what? By the end of the 31-day challenge, I was like so much more comfortable talking on camera. Like it's you sort of desensitize yourself. And even when I started the well again, it was another 31-day challenge. Oh, isn't that funny? Two 31-day challenges. Um, I started a 31-day challenge. It's free. Go to the playlist. It's fantastic. Start at day 1. It's called Living from Your Heart in a 3D World, and it's all about how to listen internally, like listen within and listen to yourself and connect in with the mess and the chaos going around, and, and how to find like who you truly are, which I'll give you the Cliff Notes, like we are amazing, beautiful, like divine beings created from the same energy that creates the entire universe, the cosmos, the stars, the sun, the moon, the oceans, the— like everything that is beautiful is you. Everything that's not beautiful is you too. But we are like— everything is made from exactly the same thing, and every single person is made from the exact— well, and plants and animals and all of it is all from the same energy. A bit like the, um, Tree of Life in Avatar, which everyone connects into the energy, that same energy. And, um, all the— I don't know what your Avatarians— I don't know what they're called.

Avatars.

They all understand this balance and, and how all the— how everything is connected. And that's really the truth for the energy in the universe and, and all beings and all plants and all things, basically. Um, sorry, I digress. That was another 31-day challenge, but that was also to hold me accountable. And I was better just— well, I can't speak. I had actually— I actually fell over and really broke this, these, this finger and really smashed this finger up. And so I looked up— we have a book, Annette Noontil, Body Is the Barometer of the Soul— and I looked up and saw what these parts of the body were. For the injury, and it was that you need to share your wisdom basically in your own way. So I had started talking on YouTube just about little things, little synchronicities, little things I'd noticed that were happening. But what that really was doing was getting me ready to do the 31-day challenge. I just didn't know it at the time. Like, it was teaching me how to write description. Like, what do I need? Descriptions. I need, um, titles. I need tags. I need like all the bits to doing, um, to uploading YouTube videos. So I was learning sort of like the practical part of it. So then by the time the idea for the 31-day challenge popped into my head, I was like, okay, yeah, I can do that because I've already— I already know how to do those things. I can do that. That's not too hard.

Mm-hmm.

And then even in the challenge, I had to adapt to make it possible to finish. I got a camera from like a mount for my car so I could film in the car. I learned that I could just upload the videos and then do the descriptions and stuff later. Like, you can adapt and learn how to, um, achieve the things you want to achieve in a way that's manageable and doesn't take the joy out of it. Once it becomes a chore, yeah, it's like you get into the, uh, as opposed to actually, that's— I don't have to do all of it right now. A little bit like the annoying registration thing, we just tackled a little bit of it. And then, so like, it's just setting yourself up for success. God, I've talked too much. Your turn. No, it's, it's true.

And I will go back to Camino. Um, you know, it's, it is, it's an 800-kilometer walk. Um, and if you— I think if you— what I realized was if you think about it in terms of it being an 800-kilometer walk, it's too much and it's overwhelming.

And I think That is really far.

Yeah, it's really far. It's really far.

Like, people catch a plane, a 2-hour plane to go that far.

Yeah, yeah, it's really far. Um, and I've met so many people afterwards that have said, oh God, I'd love to do that, but I just— it's too— it's, it's too— it's just astronomically too far. It's too big, it's too much time, all of the things. Um, and I think if you think about it on a, on a daily— like, on a, on a Holistic, from a holistic perspective, eight hundred eight hundred kilometers is really far. But all you can do is break it down into okay, I've got two weeks, so I'm going to walk for two weeks. Or if you're going to do the whole thing, you literally break it down day by day, and then it's town by town and step by step. And you keep going, knowing that all you have to do is obviously set your parameters. So don't set yourself fifty kilometer. Well, you can, but you'd probably be broken. And it happened. Obviously it happens. Um, but it's just, it's what is the manageable chunk that I can do today? And maybe it's 5 kilometers, and maybe it's 10, and maybe it's 30. Maybe you have a great day and you can do 30. But it, it's setting the parameters to set yourself up for success so that you can achieve the why, whatever that why is. And everyone's why is different for everything they do. Everyone that walks Camino does it for a different reason.

Um, and be prepared to adapt.

Yes, be prepared to adapt because things will not go your way.

Because that's the brain planning. But yes, the brain can plan as much as it wants, but it— like, it's the body that has to do it.

Yes, yes. And it— and it's constantly led by the wine. I did that much better on the second Camino than I did on the first Camino, um, because I went into the second Camino knowing that I wanted it to be my own, my own Camino, that I wanted to do things differently, that I wanted to listen to Remember my why and listen to my body and listen to my heart and soul every single day in every single decision that I made.

Um, I just realized that it's the brain that plans it, but it's the body that has to do it. So I'm just thinking of my running career. My brain's like, you can run that, off you go. It's like my body was like, I don't like this, I don't like this, I don't like this. And I did a lot of running. And my body the whole time was like, I don't like this, I don't like this. And I was just bashing it. Nope, we're runners. Nope, we're a runner. We run, we run. It's like, like when I found that gym, I just like, I was actually stronger and fitter from the gym, and it was so much more enjoyable. Like my body loved it. It was still hard, but my body loved it. Like it was excited to go. And so like there are people that are excited to go running, just Their bodies are loving it. Yeah. No, no, no.

And that's okay.

And that's okay. But it took me many, many, many, many, many, many years to realize that.

Yeah. I'm not a— I, you, it's similar to Susie, used to run, uh, loved it at the time, but I— a certain age came, can't really remember what it was, I stopped running. And then I've just— I've never been called back to it. I look at people that run and they're, and they're clearly enjoying Because you can tell, because you can tell from the way their body moves and the way their face looks if they're like, oh, this is amazing. And then there's other people like, ah.

I know, look at the pain looks on their face and they're dragging, like, and the way they're like pulling their body through that. It doesn't look enjoyable. I don't think they're having fun. Maybe they are, but every signal, every signal is showing me that they need to pick maybe something. Oh no, who am I to judge? I can't judge anything. I can't judge anything. They're enjoying it. Totally. Who knows? I know. So yeah, it's sort of more like break things down into like a, like a plan, but to also just be prepared to just try and just see how it goes. How did that feel? Yeah. Did it feel good? Okay, do it. Do a little bit more of it. Like, like just have a feel and see what I'm not speaking very well here. I'm like trying to combine 2 topics, which is the Jenga blocks and, um, the Jenga blocks. That's what I always call like how I tackle really big problems. And Jenga blocks probably isn't the right, um, analogy, but you know the Jenga blocks, which is the wood tower, and you've got to poke out the ones, and if they come out and it's whoever topples the tower first. That's how I sort of liken how I tackle big things, and I seem to have trained my middle daughter to do exactly the same thing, except she does them on me. I'm the Jenga tower. Um, and she'll come up anyway. It's like, you— I'll come up, I'll have one thought. And this is actually how I started Scanties, how I started Scanties, because I went back to China. I hadn't been there for about 8 years. I had no idea what I was doing. Like, and it was low stakes because I hadn't invested it. I was just going to see. And it's like poking the Jenga blocks. Okay, I— well, I knew I Got on the plane. That part was easy. Then it was like, I how do I get from? I was coming from Hong Kong to China, so I had to. Are the trains still there? Do I catch the bus? Like what? Are those options still there? Are they still in the same place? Another Jenga block. Okay, I got there, and then around the hotel, like oh no, I oh that's right. Actually, I got to where the bus drops you off. I caught the bus, and I was like everything had changed in the way you got taxis, and I had like. I had hardly any cash on me, like Chinese money. I had whatever was left over from about 8 years ago. And I went to get in a taxi, which back when we used to travel, it was all metered. And anyway, he was like, he like wrote down numbers on a phone and showed it to me, and he wanted like $200 or something to get like—

Tourist.

Yeah, tourist. And I had like about $20, which it shouldn't have cost more than $20, like in a normal taxi. And I was like, Oh, we got a problem. We've got a problem. So I had to get out and like figure out— that was like probably my first stumbling block. Well, I, I either need to find an ATM or I need to find a taxi that actually, um—

did we use the Metro when we were there, or is that a new thing?

I think it's a new thing. I now have MetroCard, so the MetroCard is actually the key to everything. Um, but, um, like, I can't even remember what I did, but I don't— I know I didn't find an ATM. Oh, I know what I did. We're at a big hotel. I went up to the concierge and they called me a taxi with a meter, and then I had enough money to get to where I needed to go. So, but that was like, like things like that, you have to adapt and like, okay, figure out like, how do I do this? Um, and you just sort of like press. So that was a bit of a wobbly Jenga block, but I got it out. And then I went to the hotel, and then the next day I just, I had to wander. I wandered around and just got my bearings a bit. I, I'd know, I knew the area, it wasn't, but it had all changed. And then I went to the fabric markets and I was like, okay, they have exploded in size, but, um, I'm just gonna start— I'll just go to where I knew. And I just wandered around. I was looking for specific fabrics and really I only found 3 shops. And these fabric markets are like the size of about 8 suburbs, like they're huge. And I only found 3 shops that had the type of fabric that I needed at the time. There's millions now, but this was in 2016, so... Um, so I was like, okay. And then I was— then I— and then I saw, after I'd done that, I actually went back to where our old like seamstress was, and she was still there after 8 years, still sitting there. Chiga, we used to call it chiga, chiga, because chiga means— that's what they say when they're thinking. So she'd always say chiga and then like try to explain it, and we'd have a translator that would help us. And she was always trying to charge us more money, and we were always laughing with her and saying and doing funny little charades. And like, you had— we had fun with it.

Me too.

Like, Cass was in China with me in the, in, in the like 2000s, mid-2000s to 2008, and we had an apartment over there. And it can be really lonely and isolating, um, but we had like— you make— we made it fun by those like little charades and things and interactions with, um— and sometimes like it's really debilitating because Back then there was no smartphones. You couldn't WeChat Translate, you couldn't like do a Google Translate. Like, it was all done in person or on a calling phone, which we couldn't speak the language, so that wasn't going to help us. So sometimes like we'd see people getting this food delivered and we're like, oh my God, that'd be so nice to have that. Can't get it because we don't know how to order it and we don't even know who they're calling.

We can't speak the language.

We can't speak the language. So the best we had about 3 shops that we went to. We knew what we could eat from those 3 shops. Yeah. And we would point because you didn't want to— and the buns, you didn't want to accidentally get the one with the chicken's foot in it instead. So we'd be like pointing to the ones we thought might be because we couldn't say, we couldn't say what the type of bun that we wanted was, not the chicken's feet. But you know, well, Cass and I thought actually we were charading one day in a restaurant and, uh, she was doing swimming signs, so we were thinking like I remember once I had little like dried, like, I don't know if they were like tadpoles going into toads, dried in the food. And I actually, I was like trying to dodge them because I'd been bought the meal by one of the suppliers. And I was like, it's really rude to not accept them food. And I was trying to dodge them and then I crunched down on one and I could feel it. And it was like, I took every strength I had to not gag in front of them. And I was like, I think I'm full. I think I also had to eat an oyster omelette once because it was a specialty from the area. Baked Chinese oysters in an omelette. Oh, that is shit. I know. I was like, okay. Oh, and they're like, have some more. I'm like, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. Thank you. Anyway, that was a severe digression. I can't even remember where we were. We were.

I think it was about like that, being adaptable, being adaptable and laughing.

And oh, actually, that's what I want. We were going to talk quickly about when you have to do. So it was again like the accounting. It's like when we were in China, Cass and I, we'd always like we'd be we'd be there for like months at a time, like big long stretches getting manufacturing done, quality control and checking it all before it shipped because once it's shipped and it's in Australia. there is nothing you can do. Whereas if you're on the ground and you're checking it, they can fix it like that when you're there.

Yeah.

Once we had some disastrous shipments and we were just like, we need to be there and be on the ground and check this stuff before it comes. Because the, the opposite, it— the opposite was just impossible to fix. You had to start again. So we would always be trying to get out of there as fast as possible. Now, on the last day before we would catch the train over to Hong Kong, to get the plane back. On the last day, we'd always have a million tasks. And as I said, because we don't speak the language, we always had to do everything the hard way. We were like schlepping around the fabric markets. It was hot and dusty, but we couldn't speak the language to get— like, there's helpers that will carry it for you, and they probably didn't even cost that much money, but we didn't know how to ask them to do it. And then we'd have to like schlep up the road with the stuff to get the taxi because it was probably like 100 meters away. Yeah. And then you'd have to hope a taxi would pick you up. And we had this list of things that we had to get through before we could like have our shower, pack up, and leave the apartment to get to the train. And I used to always look at it and it was like, big deep breaths.

Yes, big deep breaths.

You're like, it's like the reward at the end is going to be so worth it. Yes, this day will be massive. And the mantra I had at the time was like, but time keeps ticking. Like I could sit on the couch and it will still become the afternoon, or I can just go through this bit like the Camino, do it step by step. Do the first— like, we'd plan the list with where we needed to be and how, like, we'd make it the most, like, time efficient, um, and easiest logistically. But, like, I once caught a bus with a roll of fabric like that because— with a— like, because I couldn't get a taxi. No, I couldn't get a taxi. You couldn't get it? It was raining and no taxis would stop, but I knew this bus route went to to where our seamstress was. So I hopped on the bus with the roll of fabric. Like, it was this big, it wasn't small. And like, they were just looking at me going, what is this girl doing? Like, she's mad. Actually, we got that a lot. They thought we were fairly like hilarious most of the time, which I suppose we were. And we would just laugh along with it because they'd laugh at us, and so we'd laugh at us. It was like, it was the only thing to do was to laugh.

trying to barter in a language they don't speak.

I know, I could— we could speak about 6 words, but you know what got us pretty far?

I think the laughter and it was— connect with people.

There was the laughter and there was the laughter and the charades and stuff. They thought it was hilarious and there was a connection. So like, even when you can't speak the language— actually, I'll tell you one more story, like, about not speaking the language but understanding things. Cass and I, before we chose China, we actually went to India on a sourcing Trip. Okay, that was not for us. Look at your face. That was not for us. But we had read in my lovely— was it in the Lonely Planet or whatever? I loved the Lonely Planet back then. Um, that we need— yeah. Um, we said you must go and watch one of the Bollywood films, like in the proper theater. Anyway, so Cass and I were watching this Bollywood film And I think it went for 3 or 4 hours. 4 hours with an intermission. And it was like 2 hours and then an intermission and then another 2 hours. Okay, so we're going through the movie in 2 hours. Like, the first half of the movie is like fantastic, like a normal feel-good rom-com. Yeah. And anyway, then we came back and the set— like, this was not in— there was no subtitles. This was not in a language that we understood. This was just by like acting and I think at one point I said to Cass, what did they just say? And she looked at me, she's like, I don't know, I have no idea. But yeah, anyway, anyway, anyway, the second half of the movie— I don't really know what my point was, but the second half of the movie was just murder. Everyone died and it was just trauma, trauma, trauma. So we were like, whoa, we didn't need to go back in for that.

But we— even though it was in a language that we couldn't understand, you still get the— like, we still engaged with the movie.

We knew what was going on. Like, yeah, we totally engaged to the point where I thought I'd missed the sentence. And I was like— she's like, I can't understand it.

It was an experience in a very beautiful theater.

It was. The theater was amazing. Like, it was worth going. Like, I was— I'm not sure if I need the second half. I just, in future, just go to the first half.

I don't think we had a clue clue what was coming.

We did have no clue. No clue. But I suppose India was a similar place. It wasn't for us, but no, we— oh, our first night, the— we're really just getting to stories now. This is story time about Susie and Cass's adventures. The first— I know, the first night we got in, it was like midnight, I think. But I think the flight was— we'd already slept for like most of the flight, so— but we got in really late and it was dark, and our room They— it wasn't ready or it was overbooked or something, and they put us in a room which actually was like a prison cell.

Probably a closet.

It was, but it was like concrete. The bed was concrete, a concrete plinth with a mattress about that thin on it. I can't even remember if the pillow and the blanket— and I remember the window looked out to a rubbish heap.

It was— it felt like being in a prison cell.

Oh, Cass and I were like, what? Have we done?

It's not a good start.

And I'd researched that hotel.

Yeah.

And I research things, like I love to dig into that. Like travel planning is my most favorite thing to do. And I was like, this is not what they said about it.

This is not what we expected.

This is not what I— this is not what I was expecting. Anyway, the next day they actually gave us the room we had booked and it was, it was fine.

It was excellent.

It was, yeah, it was. I don't even think— oh, we didn't have aircon in the other room and this one had aircon. They were like chalk and cheese. same hotel, chalk and cheese. Maybe we've been put in the, like, holding cell. I wonder if they did.

No, it did not feel like that. It was chalk and cheese between the 2 hotel rooms. And the next hotel room we had, had a— it was up on a couple of stories up with lovely big wide open windows, and we could open it and watch all the traffic going past and the people on their daily routines.

And the little stalls.

And yeah, it was, it was—

And the man sleeping under his cart, which is what they did, which we weren't ready for.

But, um, many things we weren't ready for.

I know, actually, we were going to the fabric— there was a fabric trade show on, which is what we were there for. And so we had no idea. And we'd stayed in a non-touristy part of town, which probably for 2, like, a 23-year-old and a 21-year-old, like, Australian girls, we probably shouldn't have done that. That was probably lesson one: stay where the other tourists are. Like, it was— yeah, we were— we thought we were a lot more seasoned, because we'd done like Thailand and Bali, um, even Jakarta, lots of— yeah, Malaysia. We'd done all those places, but India was very different for us. We weren't, we weren't prepared. Anyway, this trade show, we did what we always did in the places, and we were talking to taxis, showing them that we couldn't speak. We just show them where we needed to go. Anyway, we ended up in a tuk-tuk, except what we didn't know is the trade show we needed to go was like on a highway, like half an hour away. We were nowhere near it, and there was no way that tuk-tuk was ever going to get there. I, it— I have no idea how long it took us to realize that. He led us down the garden path, down the tuk-tuk path. I don't even remember what— like, I don't even remember how we were like this. We must have had a paper map. Maybe we had— must have had some. Oh, I probably had the guidebook. Lonely Planet guidebook, probably. Um, and we were like, this is not right, this is not right. Um, anyway, yeah, India was an eye-opener experience, real experience.

Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, anyway, enough about that. Yeah, I know, it's story time, story about our travels. Um, but it's more that I think it's the— I think I was, I was talking about China. Yeah, it was more about just go and see. Like, if you want to do something and seems too big, just go and trial it. Like, push the first Jenga block, see if it comes out.

Yeah.

Like, push the next Jenga block, see if that comes out. And that's how my daughter— she circles me. I'm the— I'm the button she's pushing. She'll be like— she'll be like, she wants something, and she knows if I cut— if she comes in straight at it with me, like, say it's a holiday, a beach holiday somewhere that she desperately wants to go to, so she'll float the idea. She'd be like, oh, you know that like Noosa, like, um, like those dates, the place— there's a few places not too expensive up at those dates. So she just floats that, that's it, then she leaves it. And then she'll come back and she'll just go, oh, I've just sent you a couple of places that had pretty good deals, Mum. And she just keep coming and she goes, you know, we could do whatever it is when we get up there. You know, it'd be great if we did this. You know, like, she just keeps like circling and circling and circling and circling and circling, and eventually she often gets me just to say, okay. She does all the research and presents it just slowly, so she pushes me like the Jenga blocks.

Just little.

I'll just try, and all from different angles. I'm just going to try it from this angle, and I'll just try it from this angle. And like what we were trying to set up this morning, which has been a nightmare for me, but We eventually got laid down. Actually, we need them to verify some stuff first, but we entered the information I think on about four different platforms. Like it felt like everywhere we went, we had to re-enter the same information. It was like they had all these back different platforms within a platform, and I was like, okay, this is starting to feel not fun. And then we actually got to a roadblock where it was like we can't do anymore until we.

Verify these documents. So, which is good because it coincided with that. This isn't fun.

Yeah, this isn't feeling fun anymore. And we're like, let's go record. Yeah. And now we've had the stories about our travels. But travel for Cass and I was probably where we started to learn to trust ourselves, I suppose, and trust that, um, and it's through mini disasters in a low-stakes environment that we learned to trust we could figure it out. Like, a solution always appeared, didn't it? It always appeared. Even when I lost my passport and my tickets at the airport trying to fly to Thailand. Like, I had them because we just flown from Ireland. We spent one night in London, and then I went to meet my dad and they were gone. And Cass, my dad, my other sister, we all— I was desperate to go to Thailand. That was the first time we'd been. We'd never been, I don't think. I was so desperate to go there. And, uh, and they're like, well, we can send you all the way back to Australia, but you can't stop in Thailand. And I was like, I'm gonna figure this out, because my why— I so desperately wanted to go to Thailand. I had been reading Southeast Asia on a Shoestring. It was my favorite book, Lonely Planet. I loved it. I slept with it nearly. I just loved it, like, just the adventures. Anyway, I They all left. They all left without me, and I managed to— the flight was at midday, so I had to be there, I think, by 10:30 at the latest. I think you took my bags. I had no bags, but I had to get to the passport office to get an emergency passport and to the ticket. This is why you had physical tickets back then.

Yeah.

I think I was only 21. I needed a physical ticket and the passport to be replaced and to get to Heathrow. By like 10:30 or something, and I think the passport actually the ticket office opened first, and this is before we had like the internet. Like I don't even know how I found out these things. Well, maybe I went back to our friends and was using the computer or something. I can't even remember. Someone must have told me because we didn't have no smartphones. We didn't have phone. Yeah, no, no smartphones, and I didn't even have mobile phones. No, no mobile, no mobile phones. So I have no idea how I even. Like, anyway, you figured it out. I figured it out, and I got that ticket, and I got that emergency passport, and I made it to the airport by like 10:30 or quarter to 11, whatever the cutoff time was. And like, I had it down to the minute, but that was like my desire for the outcome was so strong. Yeah, yeah, that I like kept digging until I could figure it out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give the woman a challenge.

Yes, but then, but that's why for me I need to now really like feel in, is the challenge eating me or feeding me?

Yeah.

Like, now I've got to look at why I'm doing it. And that's what I've been like peeling off over the last 12 years, 11, 12 years, coming back in, into like— because I have often like that I was doing for myself, but I have been caught up where I'm like killing myself to achieve, like to accomplish things, but The why wasn't for— it wasn't my why. And it's so knowing the difference. Is it eating you or is it feeding you? Is like, that's what we're like connecting back within. What is driving the actions that you're taking? Like, that's— are we— do you think I'm making— am I making that clear? Do you think?

I think so. I think the Yeah, and there are things that you will need to do, like having a job.

But then the why is you're getting like, it's the why, but the money allow— I need the money for XYZ.

I want to live the life I want to live.

And then what you can do though is look at the how can you adapt the job. Yeah, maybe it's a different job, maybe it's like a different position within the same company. Like, you can adapt. It's assessing what you have to do to make it as enjoyable for yourself as possible.

Yeah.

So that you can, like, you still achieve the why. I think that's what we're trying— that's what we're trying to say, is it's adapting the parameters in so that they're the most enjoyable for you.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, for you.

So that you— yeah, so there is, yeah, joy.

Yes.

Um, laughter, connection. Like, it's, it's— life is hard, but it doesn't need to be an absolute punish all the time.

Yes.

And people probably may disagree with us.

I know. And I think that that's why, like, I would always, like, when I was working for another company, in the morning I would always get up there, I always make it like fun because that made it fun for me. I would stand up and I don't really read the newspapers or anything like that, but they always used to get the financial reviews. So I would stand up the top and it was up atop from where my desk was, and I sort of overlooked out to everyone else at the office, and I'd read the bits and give them my commentary on what I thought. I'd say, okay, it's the Susie News Show here. And I'd be reading this and I'd be, well, that's ridiculous. And putting my, like— and it was always like just that made the energy in the office fun. And like, you can start your workday off like that, or you can start your workday off like, ugh, like, you know what I mean?

Eeyore.

pouring in, or, okay, ready for Susie's news report this morning? And, and it made it just such a nice, fun environment and always having a laugh with my other workers. And like, I think like the energy that you want yourself, you can bring, and you can— like, it's infectious.

It is infectious. Yeah, yeah. Like, even just, uh, in the teams that I've led and worked in, I, you know, and everyone comes in and I, I can sort of tell from how people are holding themselves and how they're walking exactly how they're feeling for the day. But it was always met with a good morning.

It's like a bit like Kind July, Kind July, like it's stupid and silly but it shifts the air, it really shifts the energy. Yeah, like bring back the silly. And I think that being around kids is great because they think that I am the most cringing thing in the world. Auntie Cass is the best, she's the coolest, she can wear what she likes, She can go to any of their functions. That is all fine. And I am like, oh, you are so embarrassing, Mum. No, I don't ever say, would you care if Annie Cass did that? Oh no, only me. But it makes me laugh because I— it may like— it makes it funny, I think. Like, they're like, I don't take it seriously. I don't care. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I actually kind of think it kind of funny that I'm embarrassing them. And you don't get this look like, stop talking, stop talking, stop talking. Even this morning when I was taking her to school, She opened the gate and there was one of the boys going past on a bike and she was like, turned around and went, get back in, get back in, Mum, get back in!

So embarrassing.

So embarrassing. Inside, inside! I was like, what is it? And she was like, oh, it's a boy I don't like.

Yeah, but bringing laughter and joy and making life fun, it is infectious. It really is. And it It instantly lifts people's mood if you can pick your mood up, or if you've got someone around you that can be— because there's people in your life that you know who do the Susie's News Report, or, you know, meet everyone with a good morning, or Susie on the sofa, wick-ass!

Spirit fingers. Like, it's silly. It's silly, but like instantly—

More happy silly.

Well, yeah, more silliness, more silliness. That's the homework. Yeah, that's the homework.

I'm the homework girl now.

I was saying like I wasn't gonna give you homework, but I am. More silliness, please. Just silliness. And look, and especially like that's— and you can do this too if you're— if you've brought your central nervous system down, so you're not at a 9 out of 10. And then when you spill your coffee all over the floor, like I actually just burst out laughing. I'm like, of course I did. Like, of course we did that. Obviously that part of the floor needs cleaning. It's like, like even those things, if you can like just flip that perspective on them and just like, oh yeah, of course. Of course we did. The poor wanted some coffee. Of course. Oh, of course my daughter needs emergency dental work. Of course. Just throw it in there. Like, just pile it on. Why not? Like, like, and you might not feel it right in the time, but just learning to flip it and like make it like comical because life is comical if you choose for it to be. And just having a laugh and being silly, it does change. It changes your energy.

Yeah, I'm sure there's research about— oh, they have laughter groups. Oh yeah, okay. Laughing— I want to say it's laughing yoga, but I don't know if it actually is. Ah, but groups where people get together. This is another activity.

Because laughing is actually contagious. It is when someone starts laughing. Actually, it's funny because Nelly, my eldest, she always watches these skits on YouTube and they're actors, but one of the jobs in it is they can't— the person that they're doing it, whatever they're performing in front of, they that it's whoever laughs first, and they actually make them put water in their mouth so when they laugh it spits out. And she just watches these things over and over and over because they're so silly, and it's just trying to make someone not— obviously they always end up laughing. And so you're laughing too, so just put something on funny.

Yeah.

If you wanna, if you wanna have a laugh and a giggle, and just when things seem serious, try and just like, oh, of course it is, whatever, like And it doesn't—

it's not— we're not saying ignore the problem or that the problem's going to go away if you have a laugh. It's not. It's still going to be there. You need to figure it out.

It's just shifting your energy around it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm sure— I don't know, I'm just going to throw this out there— maybe laughing lowers your nervous system.

I reckon it would. I reckon there'd be some sort of an endorphin or something. You know when you've had a good laughing session, the one that like makes you like hurt and crying and hurting? And sore cheeks. Yep, sore cheeks. Like, there's nothing better. And I think it definitely— there's a hormone from that, and it's a happy hormone. So watch something funny, be silly, laugh, breathe. Yeah, we love you. Yeah. Okay, bye. Okay, Susie on the Sofa is back with Cass. This is because Cass just showed me something. I'm like, we've got to press record and actually Oh my God, we sound like cockaburras! Oh my God, that is so silly. I have no idea how that works, but that is so painful. It is definitely contagious. So there you go, that's the— that's the heart game for homework. Brought to you by these 2 Australian cackling kookaburras, Susie and Cass. Okay, spirit fingers out.