In this conversational segment, Susie Taaffe reflects on a pivotal moment during her second Camino pilgrimage when she realized she was over‑reacting to social requests. She describes how multiple people wanted to walk with her, which conflicted with her preference for solitary pacing, leading to an extreme emotional outburst—swearing at a pilgrim’s message, throwing her phone, and storming for five minutes. She quantifies her overwhelm as a "50 out of 10" reaction, recognizing it as a clear sign of nervous‑system dysregulation. Cass guides her to identify such physiological cues (e.g., yelling at traffic, swearing over a spill) as gauges of nervous‑system state. They discuss the pitfalls of swinging to the opposite extreme—isolating herself completely—and introduce a "magic toolbox" of self‑regulation strategies, emphasizing carving out personal space, using music, and any activity that feels soothing. The dialogue underscores the importance of noticing bodily signals, balancing social engagement, and employing intentional self‑care to bring the nervous system back into regulation.
Chapters
And that was a huge realization I had on the second Camino. Like, it, it just came at me thick and fast. Um, I had multiple people wanting to walk with me every single day, and I love to walk alone, um, because I can set my own pace. I can stop and take a photo of a flower. I can sit down and have a drink of water. I can do everything that I want to do. Um, sometimes having company is good, sometimes It doesn't work for me. But I had people coming at me thick and fast, and I got to the stage where I just— my responses to people's requests were completely, um, over the top.
Unhinged.
Unhinged.
And that's actually a really good point because you will tell where your nervous system is. It's all about regulating your nervous system.
It is all about regulating.
And you will tell where it is by noticing Are you yelling at the car that cuts you off in traffic, or are you going, oh, whatever, dude, you go ahead?
Yeah.
When you drop something in the kitchen, when you spill something on you, notice your reaction.
Yeah.
That's like, are you swearing a million expletives, or you're like, oh, whoopsie daisy? Like, yeah, that will give you a gauge on where your central nervous system— like, how regulated you are. Your automatic response— it is, it's your automatic response. And so that's where that will be your— and it'll be different for everyone. You'll know what you do. You know when you lose it, and to know how to like bring it down. Yeah.
So I I noticed it when when a particular pilgrim messaged me and I swore so loudly at the phone. What do you want? I think I'm just waiting around for you to blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Expletives threw my phone on the bed and stormed around the room for five minutes. I went, oh, that's probably that's probably a pretty good indication. It's a pretty good sign. It's a pretty good sign that I'm overwhelmed. I might be at an eleven out of ten. I think it was a 50 out of 10. It's not— it was not comparable to the request for a coffee. It was a real— but that was it. And I am still learning to know when, when things don't feel right in my body. And that was, that was a really clear sign. And so I then went the other extreme and just cut everyone out of my life, um, which worked for a period.
Oh, you need to bring it back, don't you?
Yeah. So there was some serious—
If you're really up high, you need to probably carve out more space than usual to bring it back. And you'll get to know your— I call it the magic toolbox.
Yeah.
Of things that you know bring calm your central nervous system down. Like, I love putting on music. Like, I— it's, it's just actually carving yourself space.
Yeah.
To do whatever makes you feel good. It's like gifting yourself the time.
Yeah. To—
and your only job is to make yourself feel good.
Yeah.
Like, that, that's it. That's literally— and so if you're at a level 50 out of 10, you're gonna have to at first carve a big chunk of time because otherwise you're going to be— I like to say it's like filling a bucket with an eyedropper. Yeah.
