A person mentions enjoying submission in a relationship, but their date interprets it as wanting extreme BDSM and sends explicit images and fantasies. The speaker argues that asking "What does that mean for you?" prevents these misunderstandings in alternative lifestyle conversations.
Sometimes in the world of alternative lifestyles, it's easy to be misinterpreted. The other day I was speaking to somebody over WhatsApp and mentioned that I sometimes like to be dominated, not in an extreme way, but it's just a dynamic that I quite enjoy. It's not very surprising. Lots of women who do things there where they're in control in real life, like on the flip side, when they're being intimate with someone, to be a little bit more submissive. I'm not extreme in that way, but I do enjoy that type of dynamic. And this person went down the rabbit hole, assuming that I meant quite extreme scenarios, and started sending me lots of pictures, telling me what he'd like to do with me, all sorts of things, which, as this conversation went on, I found more and more distasteful and frankly didn't turn me on at all and made me less inclined to want to meet him. And I suspect that one of the ways that you can make sure that you don't get on the wrong foot, especially if you're speaking to somebody about doing things that are outside the norm, is just to simply ask them, "What does that mean for you?"
Why Sex Changes After Menopause (And Why That's Not a Bad Thing) | ft. Dr. Kelly Barron
Why Facesitting Is Trending Among Women: Power, Pleasure & Later-Life Intimacy
