Suzanne Noble recommends an 80/20 ratio of touch to penetration for sex after 50, with 80 percent non-penetrative contact and only 20 percent thrusting. Communication matters most: ask your partner what feels good and adjust pressure, speed, and depth. Extend foreplay, explore the whole body, and follow sex with cuddling and gentle touch to deepen connection.
Chapters
Let's talk about how you can become better in bed after 50. The first point is about enthusiasm, because enthusiasm always matters much more than technique. If you love sex, if you love pleasuring your partner, if you love being pleasured, if you just want to experience all the pleasure that the human body can give you, then that is so sexy and attractive, and your partner is going to want to please you, and you are going to want to feel all of that pleasure. And that feedback loop really keeps the connection strong. I think one of the things that I've learned over the past few years of running Sex Advice for Seniors is that it's all about communication. You want to keep that feedback loop going all the time. Oh, that feels so good when you do that to me, or Would you move your hand a little bit to the left or a little bit to the right? Try out different erogenous zones. It's not all about penetration, and I think that is for me what is so great about sex over 50 is that we remove all this emphasis on penetrative sex and we start thinking about full-body pleasure. That can be giving somebody just a sensual and lovely massage. It can be just extended foreplay. It could just be like a whole afternoon of nothing but foreplay. It can be just stroking somebody's body from the top to the bottom. You want to just really experience all the pleasure that you can, and that feedback loop is going to help tell your partner what feels good for you and what feels maybe not so good, or you would like more of or less of. So full body focus, really does enhance pleasure. Recovery-friendly positions matter. So once the session is over, cuddling with somebody, lying next to them, spooning, all of those sorts of things can just feel delightful. So here's some actionable steps for you. I want you to actually ask your partner, faster or slower? Deeper, harder, or more shallow? Softer or harder? Follow an 80/20 touch-to-thrust ratio. You're going to do 80% is just going to be about touch, and 20%, if you are doing— having penetrative sex, is about thrusting. So it should be more touch, less thrusting. And then have a debrief with some gorgeous cuddling and hugging and stroking and just feeling each other and just feeling the wonders of just human touch and connection. If you found this video helpful, then please click subscribe, and I have a weekly newsletter available at sexadviceforseniors.com.
