Esther Perel's idea that distance breeds desire extends beyond emotional mystery to physical space. The speaker never wants to live with a partner, arguing that keeping someone slightly removed heightens excitement and lets privacy create surprising revelations. They love partners who shine confidently in social settings without needing constant attention.
Chapters
Esther Perel, who wrote a couple of really great books, one of them called Mating in Captivity, which is in my little TikTok shop, TikTok shop, said distance breeds desire. And by that she didn't necessarily mean physical distance, although in my case physical distance does breed desire because I just don't ever want to live with anybody. And just having them just far enough away just makes me a little bit more excited when I do see them. But also she meant some sort of distance in terms of maintaining some mystery about yourself. Distance in terms of not oversharing, keeping some things a little bit separate and private so that when you do reveal them, it's a bit of a surprise, it's a bit exciting, and it's a bit, "Ooh, I didn't know that about you." Or just seeing your partner with other people in a social situation where they're lit up and they're just really engaged with other people and you can see other people responding to them and, and really their own face lighting up and thinking, it's not just me that appreciates him, it's other people as well. I love being with people that don't need babysitting. I love people that I know I can drop into social situations and other people will find them just as interesting as I do. So yeah, distance breeds desire. What's your view on that?
