Sexual compatibility matters more than most people admit early on. Mismatches in kissing style, oral sex preferences, kinks, or toy use can tank a relationship, even when you share everything else. Talk about these specifics before they become bigger problems.
How much do you know about what your partner enjoys sexually? I suspect like many people, when you're in the early stages of a relationship, one of the things that you don't talk about is sex. So you may establish that you're compatible in all sorts of other ways, that you've got very, uh, shared and similar interests. You may enjoy cooking, um, going out to eat, doing things like that together. You may have a desire to travel, but But what do you know about your partner sexually? Because if you are sexually incompatible, then frankly, the likelihood of your relationship lasting is, I suspect, going to be very low. But we don't have to start with the big things. We can look at some of the small things. So for instance, do you kiss in a way that you both enjoy? Do you both like oral sex, or does one person like oral sex and the other person, for instance, doesn't. Do you have any kinks or sexual fantasies that are so important that you'd rather put them on the table rather than keep them hidden or go and seek them— that opportunity somewhere else? How much do you like using sex toys? I've been in relationships where that was a deal-breaker for the other person. They thought that they were being made redundant and they didn't like me pulling out sex toys. In other relationships, people think it's really horny. So what is it that your partner enjoys sexually? What do you enjoy sexually? And whether you're in a long-term relationship or you've only just met, how can you start introducing that topic into your relationship before it becomes something that's too big and too challenging to discuss?
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