Suzanne NobleHost, Sex Advice for Seniors · Sex, Dating & Relationship Advice for Over 50s

Becoming aroused as an older woman isn’t the same as it was when I was young

16 Jan 2026 · 2 min

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2:04

In this personal monologue, the speaker addresses the challenge many older women face in feeling sexual desire. She acknowledges that some women lose interest in sex, but shares three specific factors that significantly boost her own arousal. First, physical touch—simple gestures like a hand on the knee or a back rub—helps her body register interest and initiates the arousal cascade. Second, creating a sensual environment—cleanliness, sexy lingerie, candles, music, or a relaxing bath—sets a dedicated erotic space that signals readiness. Third, feeling safe with a trusted partner who prioritizes her pleasure provides the emotional security needed for desire to emerge. The speaker frames these three elements—touch, mood, safety—as essential, actionable steps for older women seeking to rekindle or maintain sexual interest.

Chapters

How are you going to get aroused as an older woman? I hear so many older women tell me they just don't feel horny at all. They just never feel up for it, and if they never have sex again, they didn't— they couldn't care less, which, you know, is fine. It's up to them. We all have our own views on these sorts of things. I know for me there's a few things that really do make a massive difference to how up for it I feel. Number 1 is physical touch, and that could just be as simple as a hand on my knee, giving me a nice back rub, just anything that where I'm actually connecting with another person on a physical level. And I have to trust that my body is just going to say, hey, this person is interested in you, I think this could be on. And then the rest of my body sort of catches up. The second thing is getting myself in the mood, and that can be different for everyone. It could be just like sitting in a bathtub with some smelly salts in it and just relaxing and feeling good. It could be wearing sexy lingerie. For me, it's like setting a whole scene. I want to feel sexy, I want to be clean, I want to have nice music playing, I want candles, and I just kind of set up the whole space so that I like it's a sexual space, it's an erotic space, and me and my partner can be in that sexual sort of zone. And I think the third thing, and it's really obvious, is just feeling safe, just feeling like the person that I'm with is somebody that I'm really comfortable with, somebody that I know is— wants to give me pleasure and all of that sort of thing. So it's those three things that really matter for me. One is physical touch, 2 is being in a sexy space, and 3 is feeling safe.