This content was created by Suzanne Noble. This content was uploaded by Suzanne Noble. This is a YouTube video titled "Domesticity and sexual desire" (created 2023-01-06) containing an English conversational excerpt between Suzanne Noble and another speaker. They discuss how oversharing and everyday domesticity (dishwasher, cooking, division of chores, control) can dampen passion in relationships and consider ways to make routine tasks more playful and negotiated.
Chapters
partner, we have this tendency these days to overshare, and I think oversharing is the absolute passion killer.
Suzanne, people are doing a podcast.
Sorry, yes, but I do think that over— there is something about oversharing that it— if somebody knows too much about you, they— again, that can take away the mystery. And then You know, and it is, but it doesn't have to be sexual things. It can just be things about you that they just don't, you know, that you just don't share. I mean, one of the things for me is that domesticity for me is just an absolute passion killer. And I don't tend, and I don't really want to live with you or anyone else, frankly, because I just don't want to get into the boring stuff.
Yeah, yeah, negotiating about the dishwasher.
Oh God. It's just bloody dreadful and all of that. But maybe you can make that fun. I've just never found a way to do— yeah, I just never— have you done anything?
No, no, no.
It's very, very difficult to make the dishwasher sexy.
I'm sure there is a way to do it.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, but the domesticity is the killer.
Yeah, so boring. Yeah. I mean, cooking together can be fun though.
Yeah, no, no, that's all right.
Yeah. And, and I suppose that's the thing is like you can make everyday stuff like playful as long as there's some, it doesn't become around control. I know for me, certainly I've been accused of being too controlling around things like cooking, for instance, where it's like, can we share this? And I think, oh, well, that's going to be hard because I'm just used to doing this all on my own. And now you're, I don't know what, I'm meant to be sharing with you, you know. Do you want to chop food or do you want to stir? What do you want to do? But I suppose there are ways you can do that. Yeah. And one of—
and but again, that's, that's a good example because you need to be quite, you need to be quite professional about it and say, well, my job today is, or your job today is to cut the carrots up and my job today is to sauté them, you know, rather than just say, oh, well, let's cook together. You know, it actually takes some time to, to think about how you're doing this, and then eventually a new way of being together around those, those, those roles in it within a relationship might come, might, might come out of it. Um, but it's got, it's got to be experimental, and you've got to, you know, you've got to be, you've got to be prepared to, to, to learn, I think. And, and too often in a relationship um, the other, you know, the other party, or the, the, or your, you, you yourself are not prepared to learn.
