Suzanne NobleHost, Sex Advice for Seniors · Sex, Dating & Relationship Advice for Over 50s

Don't Be a Doormat: The Hidden Dangers of Pretending to be the "Cool Girl".

12 Feb 2024 · 2 min

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1:40

In this candid monologue, the speaker recounts being abruptly stood up for a pre‑booked, paid‑for event after weeks of planning. The companion offered no apology, simply declined to attend. The speaker uses this incident to critique the “cool girl” persona, arguing that some people adopt a detached, non‑committal attitude in relationships, treating partners as expendable. The core argument is that when a date has been scheduled well in advance, the default expectation should be attendance unless a genuinely compelling reason prevents it. The speaker calls out the entitlement and disrespect that can arise when individuals prioritize a self‑styled “cool” image over basic courtesy and responsibility.

Chapters

I don't put much stock in platitudes, but sometimes they are completely apt, and today is one of those days. I was meant to be going to an event that had been booked and paid for quite a number of weeks ago, was looking forward to that, when the person with whom I was going said, after a little bit of questioning from me as to whether or not they were going to be available now to go to this thing, that no, they didn't think they'd be able to make it. That was it. No apologies, no sorry, no nothing. Just literally, nope, I'm not going to get there. So what? So what? I suppose one of the things about appearing to be so very cool sometimes in relationships is that people think that they can just do things that they wouldn't do otherwise if they were in a relationship with someone who perhaps wasn't so cool. So instead of just treating me like a human being, they just think that it's perfectly okay to say, "Yep, I'm not going to be able to make it." And what, that I'm going to be able to find someone else to go with at short notice, that I'm not going to care, that I'm going to have other people to call up and take their place. I don't fucking know. All I know is that for me, if you've got a date in your diary that's been there for a number of weeks, then unless you've got a jolly good reason why you're not able to make it, you should.