You can't tell a partner what you want sexually if you don't know yourself. The speaker argues that self-knowledge through exploration is the foundation for better communication, and that women especially face cultural shame around this that men don't.
There's a cliché that says you can't love somebody until you love yourself. And yeah, I think that's partly true. But I do think that when it comes to sex, if you don't know how to pleasure yourself, if you don't know what turns you on, then it's really difficult to explain to somebody else how to do it. And I know that a lot of older people were brought up to feel shame around masturbation— not men, by the way, but women. And it's never really too late to start exploring your own body and all the pleasure that it can give you. And once you do that, Well, you never know what might happen. A) You might just enjoy yourself a little bit too much, and B) hopefully you can express to somebody else who you like, how you like to be turned on.
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