Episode 115: What is an orgasmic human design coach?

Suzanne Noble: I'm very excited to welcome our new sponsor, Higher Nature, who have created Rekindle, which I'm currently trying out and is working a treat. A 100% natural libido-enhancing supplement for women, which contains clinically backed ingredients to give your sex life a boost. And who doesn't want that? Hi, this is Suzanne Noble, and you're listening to Sex Advice for Seniors. What is an orgasmic Human Design coach? That's a question that I'm going to pose to someone who is an orgasmic Human Design coach. Welcome, Ina Zina, to Sex Advice for Seniors. So yeah, I've read your bio and The first thing that sprung out at me was, what is an orgasmic human design coach? What does that mean?

Oh, thank you very much for having me, Suzanne Noble. I'm really pleased to be here. So what it means, it's basically I work with giving sex advice to people in intimacy, on intimacy issues. And since the pandemic, I've trained as a human design guide as well. So which involves aligning with our blueprint, with our energetic blueprint and living life with a lot less resistance and a lot more satisfaction and peace and success. So, uh, I am in the, um, you may say in the process of merging both because, um, it's, it can be really helpful when we understand ourselves as sexual beings on a deeper level, how to, you know, how to do that thing called sex in life, which they don't teach us at school yet. And especially when we are over 50, because Human Design says that following this information or experimenting with it, we should really thrive and have our best life after 50.

Oh, wow. Okay. And when you consider Human Design, how do you work with your clients?

So all they need is to have their date of birth and time of birth.

Okay.

If someone doesn't know their time of birth, there are Vedic astrologers and other people who provide these services and can find it for you. And this gives us the Human Design chart. Body graph, which any website nowadays can generate for us. And once we have that, because it is very specific, you need someone to interpret it for you. So here is where I come in.

Oh, I see. And so how— because bizarrely, I actually produced an astrology show when I was a kid and used to write, ghostwrite astrology columns with the astrologer, so I do know something about it, although I would never call myself an astrologer. But there is is in astrology, of course, the belief that your time of birth, your date of birth, and your place of birth informs— gives you your astrological blueprint or chart, if you like. How would that chart and what it says about you compare to the chart that you would get as a Human Design coach?

That is a very good question, actually, because there is a huge difference. Human Design takes two calculations in mind. One is the exact time, birth, and place time of birth.

Yep.

And date. And the other one is 88 days, so approximately 3 months prior to the birth, because Human Design believes that this is the moment when the soul embodies the fetus. And so it works with double calculations. So if you look at your Human Design chart, you will see that you have 2 lines of planets with 2 lines of different gates. Star signs they're in.

Yeah.

And so because of that extra one, they believe that this is associated with our unconscious side and the body. It's called the design. And the other side is our personality or our mind, who we think we are. So if you think about it, astrology only works with half of the information that Human Design works with. And adding this extra part, the unconscious part of us, means really the world because I've had many astrology readings and none of them have given me the advice and the whereabouts to kind of do my life as me and have permission to be who I am, just like Human Design has.

So if somebody gives you a— if you do a reading, is it, is it called a reading when you—

Yes, it is called a reading.

It's called a reading. Okay. So when you do a reading with your client and you provide them with this information, Does it— does that information inform in a similar way to astrology how things progress forward? So for instance, you know, like in astrology, there's a Saturn return and there's different significant points in the planets which then align with your charts. Now, you may not believe any of this, which is fine. No, I believe in it.

You know, you do.

I'm just saying generally, like, listeners might think this is all a bunch of hogwash, which is fine. I mean, I, you know, having, having dipped my toe in the water, I suppose for me, and again, some people are just don't believe any of it.

That's fine.

But I suppose for me, what I use it for is more of a guide. It's not like it doesn't dictate my life. Like, if they tell me that the planets are not looking good for me this week, Like, I don't just crawl under a duvet and, and stay there.

Well done, too.

You know what I mean? Like, I still carry on with my life, whereas there's other people that might crawl under a duvet and stay there. But how does it inform your life in, you know, on a day-to-day level?

Sure. So first of all, the reading goes into how the person is defined in terms of what who they are and who they are not, how they're designed to be. And it gives them a workable strategy of how to handle day-to-day events, okay, with which they can experiment with and see, is that better than when I wasn't using that? You know, do I get better results? Do I get more peace and satisfaction in my life? And it also has all of these Saturn return, Uranus opposition, Chiron return, you name it, that astrology has. Just it reads them. They're called life cycles, and it reads them in a very different way to astrology in terms of it gives you pointers of, okay, here's what you have to learn during that period, here's what you may expect, and here's, you know, what's most likely going to happen and things like that. So there is a correlation, however, it goes a lot beyond that.

So when we think about this, because normally, of course, with astrology I don't, although you've got relationship charts and stuff like that, which might, of course, inform whether or not the person that you're with is compatible or less compatible with you and your, all the stuff that's in your chart. How does it relate to intimacy and how does it relate to compatibility?

So in Human Design, we have something that's called connection chart.

Okay.

And the connection chart, it actually can work with any sort of partner or relationship that you have in your life. It can tell you a lot more about it. But we're interested in intimacy. So with the part with your partner, intimate partner, when you have a connection chart, it tells you first how your relationship works, what's the best way for it to make it work, what you need to kind of allow for or not. Whether there's room for more people in this relationship or not, even it tells you that. And I'm not saying as in intimate people, as in some couples simply are designed to just be in a, in a pair and can't really mix, you know, even socially it's hard for them to mix. And this can really put a strain on their relationship simply because they are unaware that they just have so, in such an intense bond, which for them is perfectly correct if you don't try and constantly push people in, or them having kids may all of a sudden change the nature of their relationship. And when they're aware of this, they can figure out a way to work around it. And when it comes to intimacy, Human Design tells us how our sexuality works, how each energy type— because there's 4 energy types according to Human Design on the planet today— and how each type relates to sexuality and intimacy, uh, what factors are there that affect our ability to have intimacy, who shies away from intimacy, you know, who is, who has this bold, sexy energy, what are our bonding strategies, which I really find amazing because they're all related to the body. And if we look at astrology, it doesn't even deal with this information that Human Design deals with, the body. So it can be really, really good and down and to the point.

And when you take all of that information and you mix it with your orgasmic therapy, what kind of magic does that produce? Because it seems like it's quite a different thing. What? Yes, I know much about orgasmic therapy. I'll be honest with you.

So, well, it is very different because I was an orgasmic coach for 8 years before I started my Human Design journey. And this whole thing started just by me using Tantra in my life and living a Tantric lifestyle with my partners. And it developed when I was doing my yoga teacher training in India. The yogi there, who is an Indian, was really into Tantra, but he was scared to go into the traditional Indian Tantric schools because of all sorts of shenanigans that were happening there and work with spirits, and he was scared. So he actually, he was the one who initiated me to start giving tantric lectures on Tantra, and that's how it all started. At first it was only designed for women, then of course I had a lot of males asking in, and so I expanded, and it's a The majority of my work was done through workshops for the general public. Uh, we were hosting workshops with my partner in our flat in London for years. And every year we were also teaching to different conscious festivals around the UK and abroad. Um, I even featured on TV last year, actually. I was on E4 on the, um, Big Celebrity Detox, which was a very interesting experience. But ultimately, it all goes down to teaching people the nature of sexual energy, that how, how it is sacred, how powerful it is, because it made us today. If we weren't, if one of our parents didn't have an orgasm, we wouldn't be here today. So obviously, if it has that life creating power, imagine how much life-sustaining power it holds. And then of course, I'm really interested in the work of Mantak Chia, and I do his courses as well. So Taoism comes in and works very well together with Tantra. So it's all about educating people on how their sexual energy works, how to harness it. And I was just talking to a friend who is in her late 60s, I think now, the other week, and she was saying, there's no way I can do this anymore. You know, all these kind of wild lovers' time is gone for me now, is in the past. And I was just telling her, actually, you wouldn't believe it, but with very simple exercises just at the base of your spine, you know, using your perineum, you can sustain all this well-being that comes with sex life. Because at the end of the day, that is the seat of our, of our body at the bottom of the spine, where if we don't have strong muscles, as they call pelvic floor, all the energy tends to dissipate. Yes.

Yeah.

So this is actually at the core of it, you know, but of course it's much nicer if we can make it more pleasurable and interesting. So it's not a chore.

Yeah, and you mentioned just before we started recording that about considering the— when you're in a relationship with somebody, that there's actually— you're actually creating like another, another thing, which is the, the embodiment of your— of the two of you together. Yeah, there was somebody I want to say it was Esther Perel, but I'm not sure it was Esther Perel. There is definitely somebody that has a whole, you know, did quite a lot around the fact that, you know, of thinking about your relationship actually like treating it as another person, you know, so that you nurture that other person, which is the relationship that the person that you create through your relationship. And you support that and you love that, because if you don't both put love into that, then it's going to die.

Yeah.

Is that a similar sort of attitude?

I guess you could— it could be related to that. I'm not sure with that person's work and exactly what they meant by that. But in Human Design, we definitely create a third being once we come together with anyone. That works. And so once that happens, um, we have, we have to take into consideration that suddenly, because Human Design tells us exactly how we are designed to make decisions, where in the body to listen to that voice of that GPS, inner GPS. And when you are become with someone else, very often it may change the point of, like it does with me and my partner. And we've been together for 12 years. And we believe that we are soulmates. So, um, from the very beginning, I realized that when we make decisions together, I can no longer be spontaneous like I always am. Yeah, he always needs time to wait, and now I know why. That's how he's designed. And anything that comes that, that affects both of us, if we do not wait and take our time to make a decision, it always ends up badly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I can totally relate to that. It's something similar, definitely.

And I suppose what you're saying is that it's about understanding your person, your partner's capacity to, for instance, make decisions quickly. And if they lack the capacity to do that and you're forcing them into a situation where they're being asked to do that, it's going to create a dissonance and you're going to, you know, there's going to be this disruption because it's against his nature to be able to do that. And, you know, and, and it's for me, to be honest, it's why I typically end up keeping most of my relationships in the friend zone, because when I'm friends with people, I'm really happy to let them just be the people that they are in whatever that means for them. So if I know that they take a long time to make decisions, then they take a long time to make decisions. But in a partnership, I tend to go into my way or the highway, and that just never really works out very well for me.

So yeah, I don't think that works out well for anyone if that is the approach, because ultimately that is actually why I got into Human Design, is because it allows us to understand not just ourselves but also the other person.

Yeah, yeah.

And not get triggered by the way they normally are and ask them constantly to be someone else.

Yeah.

I had this with my sister because I never could understand her before I saw her chart. And the minute I saw her chart, I was like, oh, that makes so much sense, right?

Yeah.

And so now I love her much more for it. So yeah, we definitely have to allow in our intimate relationships to have some sort of a, I don't know, consensus.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think, look, for me, a lot of this stuff is about giving meaning to things that, that help, that just, it's helpful to give meaning to things, even if they, there might be some aspect of it that feels like a bit of hocus pocus, frankly. And, and For me, you know, I do— I wouldn't say that I'm a massive believer in astrology because that's my experience is that, you know, I've done a lot more with that. But I would say that generally speaking, generally speaking, when I've gone against my better judgment, when a chart is telling me that something is bad news, it is bad news. You know, it's fair enough. It always ends up being bad news. And I just don't, you know, and I, and, and because I'm not listening, I just go, no, no, it's, you know, we can make that work. And it, and it ultimately never does. So there is, there is something for me to it. I know it's, it's not, it's not necessarily for everybody. But when you see, do you, you mentioned that you get, you do see older people typically, um, when somebody's been in a relationship for a very long period of time, how can using this structure benefit them?

To be honest, my partner is 70, even though I'm 47. We just, we were friends for 9 years before we came together and it just happened. The magic happens. I don't know what happened, but we are very happy together.

Yeah.

And we make it work. I know that he's even he's had some challenges after Long COVID and he's had minor prostate surgery.

All right.

I can, we can both validate that. And actually, we can both validate that these tools work.

Yeah.

When you are using awareness tools, tantric tools, when you put anything into practice, when you bring your attention into the relationship, into your partner, it pays off, you know?

Yeah.

So, so the biggest thing for us was not taking each other for granted. Yeah. Um, and it's, uh, actually one of our mentors, uh, who we visit for a retreat every year for a workshop, he invited us last year to share, uh, in front of everybody how we get on How we stay in a relationship. How do you sustain a successful relationship on the warrior path? Because this is a training we have been doing and we are actually teaching, uh, as well others, uh, which is to do with the shamanic ways of the Toltecs of ancient Mexico, which is a warrior path where all you are doing is you're working with your own inner self-discipline.

Yeah.

And impeccability so that you don't get enamored by life and you don't wither and lose your vitality, especially with old age. And number one, and a very powerful part of this is sexuality, because even if you look in the Taoist culture, they also very much respect and recommend keeping your sexual life alive until you're alive. Until the day you die. So I would say just staying, uh, first of all, relax. Don't like take it too serious because, you know, at the end of the day, we have to allow ourselves this childhood kind of playfulness in our life because that's what keeps us young. Um, go out with your partner, you know, uh, do things. Schedule dates. We have regular dates. If he doesn't take me out once a month, at least, which actually nowadays I want once a week. Uh, and it's, uh, you know, you have to put something in it to get something out of it.

Yeah, completely.

It's just how it is.

Yeah.

And the other day, I mean, the other week we had a friend, well, a new friend we just met. She actually came to a workshop we did with a friend and, uh, She was asking us if we were newlywed. Oh, and it just made our day because when we told her that we've been together for 12 years, she was like, I can't believe it. I don't believe it.

Yeah.

So this is, this is what I would say is keep, keep things fresh, keep things entertaining, keep it light, playful. Allow for that time with your partner, you know, where you're together, you're not just watching TV all the time, you know.

Yeah, yeah. And I think what you're saying really is that we have to be intentional about our relationship like we are about other aspects of our lives that, you know, taking people for granted never works out in the long run. And I'm, I'm also a fan of like Mantak Chia and stuff. In fact, I introduced my son to a book by Mantak Mantekji when he was in his early 20s, I think. And I said— and I said— and he said to me, why did you not give me this book when I was 16?

Yeah.

And I said to him, honestly, I just didn't think that you would relate to this. And he was like, this is incredible, because once you're introduced to— I mean, Mantekji is amazing. For anybody who hasn't read, I mean, the book I introduced him to is The Multi-Orgasmic Man. Which is a, which is a fantastic book and really talks about like sexual energy and about recirculation and all that sort of great stuff. It's, it's, you know, him.

Yes.

And Margot Anand were sort of two people that I really became, you know, got to know a bit about when I was about 20 years ago or so. And so, you know, there is a lot to be said about that. And I think, you know, the thing about all of this stuff is that, yes, for some people this will be too way out and they'll say, oh, you know, I'm— I don't believe in any of this nonsense. I'm not going to do it. But, but ultimately what we're talking about is self-development here, really, you know, in whatever way you choose to do that. You can choose to do it by, by in a Human Design way, like you said, looking at a chart. Understanding how it, what it says about you and taking away from that what you want. You can do that by going to some form of therapy. You can do that by going on retreats or workshops. I mean, we've, I've spoken to lots of people about it, but ultimately, as you say, if you don't put the time into yourself and into your relationship with your partner, like that's, that's, it's over. Really, you know, it's over for, it's over for you and it's over for your relationship. Yeah, and I think that, so aside from client work, you mentioned that you run workshops and when and how often and how do we find out about that?

So I also teach online courses and I have for quite a few years. So at the moment, we just had an in-person workshop with an amazing sound healer friend of ours who was visiting from Bali.

Oh, amazing.

Which was amazing. But because my partner and I, we spend a big chunk of the winter in Goa on the beach.

Yeah.

So, so there we will be offering full moon ceremonies on the beach, full moon. My partner, he likes— because at the moment we are teaching a lucid a course on lucid dreaming, uh, online course. And it's actually— tomorrow is our last week on that course. And so he will be teaching weekly lucid dreaming workshops in Goa. I will probably be doing some Human Design workshop here and there. I'm also a therapist, so I also do massage and massage therapy and pain management. I actually have an amazing device which is pain-free and drug-free and gets rid of pain.

Oh, amazing.

Almost as better as an orgasm.

Well, it's funny because just before this— we might have to take this offline— just before this, I was speaking with a woman who was talking about designing a sex toy that wasn't focused on genitals. And, and I think there's probably something around doing some, some sort of device that's around pain relief, but also pleasure, right? I think there's something probably in that. I haven't figured out quite what yet, but yeah, I think there's probably something there.

So yeah. Well, I'm using that device as well because it improves all of the functions of the parasympathetic nervous system. So the libido also improves. And I have actually confirmed it and tried it and tested it on my partner. I know it works. Amazing. Because what it does is it releases stress from our nervous system. And let's face it, stress is the biggest killer nowadays. It's what, you know, prevents sex, it's what prevents intimacy. And, and I'm really pleased that I found it. But back on to my offerings, I have created an online course course, which is called Full Body Orgasm Made Easy. Oh, and it's aimed at singles. Of course, we can't do it together, but it basically shows— it aims to introduce how our own sexual energy works. Because before we're able to attune into our own body, it's hard to keep awareness of your partner's body and what's going on. And especially for guys who are starting, they need to be, or who have lost that ability. You know, it's good for them to have that time with themselves or even with a partner, but, you know, just to focus on themselves.

So is it for men and women?

It's both, yes. It's for men and women.

Oh, good.

And I've had very good reviews from it. It's, and, and with my partner, we have created a course called Retrieving Energy from Your Past Lovers. Oh, which is a shamanic-based course, but it's really good for people who are going through breakups or who feel like there's some dragging energy from the past that they want to release. Um, it's, it's an absolute miracle, um, the way this works together. Um, uh, and yes, I am not sure the, the workshops that I have planned for next year. Will only be at the few festivals that we go to.

Oh, okay.

So, all right. Oh yes. And I have an online workshop, which is free, but it's only for women. It's teaching them how to use the Yoni Egg.

Ah, interesting.

Because it's a big tool that I use in my life. And it has helped me a lot because I was diagnosed with cancer just after the Long COVID of the cervix. And within 2 months of energy practices and the Medical Medium diet, I was cancer-free and I still am. Suzanne Noble.

Well done. That's amazing. That is amazing. That's fantastic. Yeah, I think there's a lot that I think people are going to be very curious to try out. I'd love to see your full body orgasm. Course and see what that's all about because lots of people talk about it and, you know, have I experienced it? Maybe. I don't know. Perhaps I have. Yeah.

But let's see.

Anyway, it's been really fantastic to talk to you. Do you have something else you'd like to add?

Yes. I just remembered that I have prepared a special discount for your listeners. Oh, brilliant. So for the next month, if they want to purchase these courses, they can have £35 off with the code LOVE at checkout.

Perfect. That's great. Thank you very much. That's really kind of you.

Sure.

It has been wonderful to talk to you. I am going off to an event now for the launch of a book called Indie Porn.

So that sounds exciting.

Quite different than one we've been chatting about but yeah it should be really fun um thank you so much for taking part it's been really great yes it has been pleasure Susan noble—

Thank you very much well bye!