Episode 79: Vibing to the Music

This week's episode has been sponsored by Oh My Bod, shifting the evolution of pleasure. Hi, I'm Suzanne Noble, and I'm Zoe Saldaña, and you are listening to Sex Advice for Seniors. And we are very, very excited today because it's Actually, you're the first woman that we've talked to in the sex tech industry. I'm talking to Suki from Oh My Bot, who is one of our sponsors. So thank you very much for sponsoring us and also for coming on the show, because I am so delighted to be talking to a woman who works in technology, you know, one of the 5 out there. And, um, yeah, I'm just— I'm really curious to know, just First of all, tell me about Oh My Bot a little bit and how you got started.

Of course. Well, first I just want to thank you both, uh, for having me on, and I also want to give you both a shout out for, um, talking about sex and aging basically, which, uh, we'll get into later. But I think, uh, the industry that I'm in, the sex toy industry, kind of has forgotten that as people age, they still have sex. So we'll talk about that a little later. But back to Oh My Bod. So we got our start actually back in 2006, which is kind of hard for me to believe at this point. So coming up this July on 18 years, and this business was born out of personal experience. Um, so both my husband and I run this business together, um, and we started it, um, after having spent a bit of time in corporate America. So we're corporate America kids, um, both worked, um, for very large companies. I actually worked for Apple in Cupertino in California for nearly a decade. Wow. In worldwide product marketing. And then what happened was 9/11 happened and we had two small children at the time. And as with like the pandemic, rethinking what our life could be like or what it maybe should be like. And so we decided to move back east closer to family while we were raising our kids. And at that point, I became a stay-at-home mom for a period of time until my youngest was of school age and in school all the time. And then it was like, okay, what am I going to do now? What's, what's next for me from a business perspective? And around that same time, my husband was still in his corporate role, but he was traveling, actually commuting from the Northeast to China once a month.

Wow.

Imagine what that was like. And he bought me for Christmas kind of my favorite two stocking stuffers of all time. He bought me an iPod that was in the advent and the phenomenon of the iPod, and he bought me my first vibrator. So I had— I didn't own a vibrator until I was 35. So it's kind of crazy that I've been in the sex toy industry now for as long as I have, considering it wasn't like I was some early bloomer or something like that. And so anyway, when he was traveling a lot, I found that I would listen. You know, I was a stay-at-home mom. I was responsible for my kids solely because my husband was traveling a lot. And so once I kind of like at the end of the day, you know, I fed them, I've bathed them, we've done homework, we've you know, read books, whatever we've done, I've tucked them into bed. How do I care for myself? How do I get sexy? And so music was my mode of transportation to a different place, kind of mentally. And so, and I would use my Vibe, and we— I said to my husband at one point, it'd be really cool if we could put these two devices together. And so the idea of music-driven vibration and sextech happened. Because of this personal story.

Amazing.

Yeah, that's great.

That's so funny.

I watch a lot of Shark Tank, and, um, and I, I, I would love to hear you tell that story in front of the sharks. That's great.

I wish I could. I would, I would love it if we could, um, all be on TV just talking about things as if they're just another consumer electronic. But again, that's for later in this discussion. But yeah.

And I have to tell you a funny thing as you were telling me that story. So when I had my kids, I started a baby sling business because I couldn't find a sling that I could keep my son in all day long. And when I sold that business after 5 years, I started a sex toy shop called Fuck the Shop. .com, and after a dinner party conversation with my friends, and I actually then went on to make adult education sex videos called Modern Loving. So I sort of did something in my head. I was like, yeah, you get sick of doing the kid thing, and then what's the next thing that you do? Oh yeah, let's do sex products.

There you go. I didn't realize we had such similar paths.

I didn't either until you started talking. I was like, kids, kids, kids, sex. I was like, yeah, that was me. Kids, kids, kids, sex. And then I, yeah, and then I didn't, I didn't stick with a modern love. Actually could still find modern loving and, and, uh, yeah, that's, that's another story. But you, but you still have very much at the core of your products is this idea of integration with music and and sex toys, because that's, that's evolved, hasn't it, in terms of your product range from what I've seen? But also, you know, there's one thing of thinking this stuff in your head, and there's another of actually making it happen. In 2006, even considering the integration of technology and music and vibration and music together, it was pretty forward-thinking at that point. How did you actually make that happen?

Um, that's pretty much where my husband comes in. Um, no, he's, uh, he's, uh, very good at, um, yeah, making things happen. And we, uh, work together.

We found a—

located a factory. Um, we got some samples made, you know. Um, at that point in time, like you said, it was extremely progressive, the idea of having some sort of tech device connected to a sex toy. We were definitely the first to do a music-driven vibrator. And even just to deal with the lag between when, you know, the music, the audio from the music is turning the motor off and on so that the motor can move to the music, basically. And so building in some tech there to make sure that the music and the motor are syncing up, as an example, was something that we had to tackle back then. And yeah, so yeah, we've, you know, from there, as technology changed, so did we. So we went, the original Oh My God actually had a cable that went from the iPod to the vibrator. And then, which is kind of crazy when you think about it, but in a way not, because, for instance, the iconic Magic Wand is— was tethered to the wall. Yeah, so very similar in that regard. But we moved to RF wireless. So we took the technology of radio frequency, that's RF for your listeners, and allowed the vibrator to talk to the audio via RF. And we were driving it via our receiver. And then of course, you know, fast forward to your devices today, your smartphones, everything's Bluetooth. So now all of our toys have a Bluetooth chip in them. And they are now app-connected. So I can be here where I am in the Northeast, and you could be in the UK and control my vibrator remotely from anywhere in the world.

So sounds like fun.

Amazing.

Yeah, it's, it's been, it's been an interesting ride. I'd say, you know, the pandemic was, let's say, a great test for remote play that really a lot of people got to really truly understand it. We've always been a little bit ahead of our time. They always say, and I'm sure you both know this, in business, it's all about timing, right? And so with the pandemic, people really got a taste of understanding remote play and remote intimacy. But also the generations of today, the, the Gen Z, the millennial generation, and then coming soon, the alpha generation, those people understand remote intimacy very well, which is also how the idea of an app-connected toy happened. We were the first to do that as well back in 2010. We launched our first— it was actually just a web app when we first launched it. And so that you could control our products remotely via, via your phone. But what, what we saw happening is that intimacy in some respects was changing essentially for a younger generation. So our generations, our first intimate experiences may have been holding hands in a movie theater, kissing in a movie theater. There was this physical contact that was happening. But today, young people's first kind of sexual experience may be digital. So it's a sexy text. It's a nude photo. It's a nude FaceTime, you know. So, so the idea of intimacy is evolving, um, and Oh My God, um, wanted to be a part of that. So that was kind of, um, kind of how that happened. And, and also I think a lot of people when they talk to us about this idea of having an app involved, right? Oh, you're involving a phone, etc. But our phones are here to stay. That's not going to change. And the idea was to allow our phones to bring people together because right now there's a psychologist who coined the term alone together where we're sitting in a room and we're both looking at our phones and interacting with our phones, but we're really not interacting with one another. And so the idea of bringing, um, of bringing kind of, um, the app to the intimacy space was to bridge that gap. Because I might get into bed, I have my phone in front of me, my partner has their iPad in front of them, and instead of instead of using it to both be in our own silos, we can use our technology to kind of be together. So that was the idea.

Tell me, um, Suki, what is the age range of your customers?

That's a hard one, um, to say in that obviously we don't collect data on our customers. That's the other thing about our app that We really respect the privacy of the user base that we have. So for instance, when you set up your account, the only thing that you do give us is your email, but you don't even have to give us that. If you give us that, it allows you to reset your password, basically.

Yeah.

But other than that, that's encrypted and, you know, we secure it in many different forms, whatever the latest security is. Um, but we, we really don't track that. I say anecdotally, um, I would say that our user base for our apps— we, we also do, um, non-app-connected toys, which one in particular might be of interest to your customer base, which we can talk about in a minute. But, um, in general, I would say probably really, um, people in their 20s all the way to, I would say, 60, 65. I mean, I'm 55, so, you know, um, that's gonna— that's getting extended, right, when you think about technology, right? Because we've all, uh, the, the three of us have, have, have our phones and they're an important part of our lives now too. So, sure.

And And, you know, talking about just— I think that when I speak to a lot of older women that have never used sex toys, and I think there are still quite a few older women that have never experimented with sex toys, I know that the first thing that they say is, oh, you know, that rabbit, I just couldn't use that, right? Because that's their go-to, thanks to Sex and the City. That, that seems to be their go-to, one-size-fits-all vibrator. What are you doing to break down those misconceptions about sex toys, especially for an older age group? You know, that's part of what we're trying to do, but is there anything specifically you see that people— any misconceptions that people have or questions that commonly get asked?

For sure.

I think, um, I think, you know, what you both are doing is really amazing because just as we need to educate kind of young people in the realm of sexuality and sexual wellness, we also have this gap up, um, you know, in the, in the older range of people, like you mentioned, that have never used a sex toy or you know, have been scared by them or whatever. One of the things that we did a couple of years ago was I developed a toy specifically meant for an aging population. So what I did was I went down to Florida to a retirement community my father-in-law and his wife were a part of, a very, very big one. It's called The Villages. In Florida, kind of got very popular because there was a big STD issue in their community. So it kind of got a little bit of press in the United States a while back. But I went down there to kind of talk to a group of people. I think there are about 20 people there, women really, about this sex toy design that I was working on. And, um, the comp— the product came to fruition. It's called Love Life Rev, R-E-V, like rev up your love life, rev, rev the engines. We all need to rev our engines, um, when we, when we age. So that was the idea behind it. But this product, um, a couple of things that we did to make it, uh, useful Number one is it's pretty— what's the right word? It's non-phallic. It's very approachable from a design perspective. So you might not have this big rabbit. You're thinking, oh, can I use this inside? And the ears and all the things. Secondly, it slides over the fingers. And the idea behind that is, is that for people that have arthritis in their hands, they can't hold or grip something, you wouldn't have to do that. So it just slides right onto the finger, could slide onto your partner's fingers. The other thing we did with it is we made it a one-button design. So it's just one large button, easy to push, easy to select the various vibration speeds and patterns. And then the last thing we did with it is our instruction manual is written in large typeface print. So you don't need your readers, like where we're all sitting here with glasses on, you don't need that. You can actually see the words on the page and it's not written that you need a microscope to look at it. So we did this and, you know, got feedback on it. And internally, I always refer to this as our AARP vibe. That's kind of my little internal joke. But, you know, it was really fun to do that project. A couple of noteworthy kind of little story that came out of this is I also had my design team, my graphic designer, put together some ads and to see what people, what resonated with people with this product. And actually used, I would say, like people that look different ages, you know, on the ad. And I thought it was funny. At one point I said, you know, what do you think of this couple? Do they look too young? Do they look too old? You know, what are your thoughts around this? And one of the women spoke up and said, I'd really like to see an older woman with like a 30-year-old man. And I just love that because I was like, of course, yeah, you know, it's sexy. Why wouldn't it be the, the other way around, so to speak? So, um, you know, it's just funny that we put ourselves sometimes in these boxes that aren't exactly accurate in terms of how we might feel about something sexually. So that was my little funny story from that.

Yeah, and I'm looking forward to getting that and trying it out because I am— yeah, I know that it was on my list of something that looks really interesting. I love the fact that it's not phallic and that, you know, because so many of these toys are shaped like penises, it's— and they all end up looking pretty much the same. And yeah, it's got a really innovative design, and I love the one-button thing. Can you actually find the button? Because I have a, I have a bullet vibe with one button, and I can tell you one of the more embarrassing things that happens sometimes during sex is that as I'm trying to turn the fucking thing off, I cannot find the button. But at this point, I'm like throwing it across the room because I'm like, where is the button? Where is the button? It's hidden under the silicone somewhere, and you've got to kind of run your fingers to find it. It's not that easy.

So yeah, this is under the silicone because aesthetically, obviously, it's—

it's— yeah, you have to—

more pleasing, but it has— it's got a nice tactile feedback so you can find it.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's good. And did you have to at any point raise any funding for any of this, or has this been entirely self-funded?

Um, we actually did at the very beginning. So we, uh, have a couple of angel investors, um, that helped us at the start of this project. Um, you can imagine back in 2006, that was not easy. Um, but we did find two people that were very much excited about the idea of moving the ball forward and making pleasure and pleasure products more acceptable. Our mission statement, I think it still sits on the Oh My Bod website, was to create the first socially acceptable vibrator. That was kind of what our mission statement was. So, and our, and our angels were also behind that concept.

So That's amazing. Well done, you. That's so hard. I guess if your husband— it was— he a techie guy, your husband, or is a techie guy?

Yeah, well, he was involved in a, um, a bigger company. It wasn't— it is technology, not in the, the electronics tech, uh, tech electronic space, but yeah, he was involved in that. Um, And yeah, we just decided we'd give this a try. My husband actually grew up in an entrepreneurial home. His mom was an entrepreneur and ran her own business for 40 years. And so he had a really great role model there. And we decided that we could figure it out. It worked out really well for us because we have, um, um, what do I want to say, like, uh, skill sets that really work well together. So very, um, very different skill sets that allowed us to, to have kind of a good base of, um, of skills.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm really— I'm dying to know what your kids think of their parents' company.

I've got some good stories on this one. Um, let's see. Well, now of course we're kind of rock stars. I mean, yeah, you know, when your kids hit college and they can tell their friends that their parents make sex toys, you, you're, you're pretty, you know, yeah, you're pretty bold, you know. Yeah.

Yeah, totally.

Um, so, so that's cool. Um, when they were younger, a lot of people asked me, you know, what did you tell them you do, blah blah blah. And my response was, um, that just like if I was an actor and I did an R-rated movie, my 10-year-old isn't going to see that film. Um, and so we kind of have that had that same kind of philosophy raising our kids. So because we made products that connected to an iPod, we said we made iPod accessories, which was not a lie. So it was perfect. The only problem with that story and that non-lie was the fact that our son went into his fourth or— I can't remember, is it fourth grade class or fifth grade class? So he's like 10, 11-year-old range here. And, uh, he said that his parents owned a business and, um, the teacher invited me in to talk about entrepreneurship. So that then became this, um, funny thing where I created this presentation about entrepreneurship, not saying anything obviously about what we did, but I think it was so far over all of those kids' heads that they were just like snoozing off during that presentation. It kind of got me out of the weeds there. So yeah, we ended up telling our kids when they were Um, our son was like 13 or so. We figured at that point most likely he's masturbating, um, so he understands that concept. Then we could talk to it and that different people have different needs that need to be met, and women's bodies are different than men's and function differently, and we're offering up a solution to help people be able to experience pleasure and that sort of thing. So, but this was also very cute because when we had that conversation, our son actually said at the end of us telling him kind of what we do, he said, I have a product idea. And my husband and I both looked at each other like, oh my God, what are you going to say? You know? And then he said, it was just so beautiful. The innocence of this is so beautiful. He's like, what if you made a robot that could dance to the music? And I was like, life is good, man. Life is really good. It was perfectly age appropriate. It was, he heard what we said, but maybe didn't want to necessarily know it yet. Um, it was really great.

My, my older son always says that I'm always the best icebreaker on dates. Like when people are like, what does your mother do? And then he goes, let me show you her TikTok channel. And then they go, that's your mother? And he goes, yeah. And then he says, after that, there's nothing they can say. That it's just, it just, it all spirals into that. And it's really fun. But when he was younger, he didn't think it was so fun. So yeah, they go through this age where they're totally embarrassed and then they're really not embarrassed at all.

Zoe's still got a teenager, so, you know, and, and he, a few years ago, he, uh, blocked— he asked if he could block all of his friends from my Instagram account and I said, yeah, of course. And I gave him my phone and he just went in and like blocked all the people he didn't want to look at my Instagram, so it's okay by me.

Zoe, like, now, um, and I'm sure you've seen it, or maybe you haven't, but the, uh, Netflix series Sex Education—

you know what, I have not watched it.

Oh, it's so great.

I talk about sex all day long. I'm with clients all day long, and by the time I finish at the end of the day, I want to read like Joan Didion or something. I don't necessarily want to turn on the, uh, a version of me, watch me doing what I do.

Right, right. Well, I was gonna say for your, for your son that, um, I know a lot of young people watch that, so it's probably maybe again, you're kind of rockstar-ish now because, you know, that particular series made it like cool, I guess. I think so. So yeah.

And I'm curious to know, Sticky, when, um, you know, there's a lot of stuff out there that's not so great for women's bodies, um, what do you— when people are looking for sex toys, what's your recommendation?

They should definitely educate themselves. Yes, there are products out there that maybe aren't very good for the body, but I would say some from when we started back in 2006 to now that because of players like ourselves and other boutique brands, I would say we kind of mom raised the bar, and so the others kind of had to come with us. So when we are talking about body-friendly, body-safe silicone as part of our marketing message, then the other players that were originally perhaps not having products with silicone, uh, made of silicone, now had to raise their game. So I definitely feel like that's changed a lot. Yeah, you don't see a lot of what the industry refers to as jelly rubber. Yeah, the phthalates in it. Of course, too, in Europe there's all types of regulations on products, much more stringent on your bath and body products and that sort of thing than in the United States. And so I think that anybody who's trying to sell their products globally like us are going to need to meet the requirements. And Europe is kind of leading the way in that regard. So, you know, I think silicone is always— obviously it's non-porous, it doesn't gather bacteria. Yeah, TPE is also okay. That's also a non-porous material for those that are listening. But it's really about looking at what's on the, you know, what the packaging says. I think that also knowing the brand— brands do matter in that you can be sure that the product that you're buying is, is what it says it is. Like with Oh My Bod, when we launch a new toy, we do— we run, I believe it's 7 to 10 third-party tests on our product. So we have a third-party company and our factory will send the products to them and it says, okay, this is phthalate-free, this is CE approved, you know, all, all of those things. So any company worth its salt is going to be doing those things, even though it's not technically a requirement, uh, in the United States anyway.

That's a bit sad. Anyway, we are coming to the end of our show. Is there anything else that you'd like to share with us?

Um, I'm just excited that we have all different types of voices now, um, talking about sex, um, different age ranges, different ethnicities, um, I've seen a lot of change in this industry in the last—

yeah, for sure.

And I'm excited for that, um, you know, uh, especially women voice, female voices, or, or, you know, people with vulva voices, um, I should say, um, you know. And, uh, I think that that's really just super exciting, um, for for people's, you know, pleasure.

Absolutely. It's been a delight to talk to you. I'm really looking forward to trying some of your products.

Yeah. Thank you for what you do.

You are welcome. It was a pleasure. It was great meeting you both. I hope to be able to connect with you again, and I hope your audience enjoys this segment. And if you guys need anything from me, I'm here.

Great, nice to meet you. Bye!

Nice to meet you. Bye-bye.