Suzanne Noble explores how sexual desire shifts with age, explaining that intimacy doesn't have to be spontaneous. Laughing, kissing, long hugs, and massages can help rekindle closeness when you deliberately create space for it.
Have you lost all desire? Do you feel like you've got a low libido or maybe no libido at all? I was speaking to somebody the other day who happened to be a man actually, who confessed that he hadn't had penetrative sex in a long time and said he didn't even know if he really had that desire. And I know it's not just women that this happens to in later life, it can also happen to men. And what I told him about myself is that for me, sex has to be intentional. I don't walk around all day with the horn on feeling like I'm just up for it. I actually have to really want to do it, put myself in a situation where it's available to me, and then everything starts to kick in again. For me, things like, well, just starting with laughing, because let's face it, laughing brings you closer to another person. And then a lovely kiss, a long hug, someone offering to give me a massage, things that make me feel closer to the person that I'm with. That is always the way for me to get going and to start feeling excited and wanting sex. But it is intentional for me anyway. It's not something that just happens. So if you want to have sex, you have to actually put yourself in the position to be able to have it.
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