Two people compare when they say "I love you" in relationships. One rushes it early, the other learned to wait six months to separate initial excitement from real compatibility. Both worry about saying it too soon and having to take it back.
Are you a quick 'I love you' person or a slow 'I love you' person? Do you, do you say 'I love you' very soon after you've met someone, or do you say it in a more— yeah, does it take more time? Is it more considered?
Yeah, people are very different. I'm a bit of a quick 'I love you' person. I tend to say it far too early in a relationship, and I have to stop myself saying it. And I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing, but I feel very committed to a relationship very quickly.
Yeah, I'm more of— I used to be a quick 'I love you' person, especially if I was having great sex. Sometimes I would blurt it out, which was kind of embarrassing. But now I'm much more of a slow 'I love you' person, primarily because frankly, I think it takes a while to actually work out the difference between that first flush of excitement when you're all in it and everything's great and you're playing the perfect person for the other person where you're just so wonderful all the time that they can't help but love you. And then, you know, once you settle in—
the other way around— yeah, yeah.
And this— and, and then once you settle in, which takes for me at least 6 months— 6 months for me is that kind of point where I'm like, oh, do I really like the farting in bed thing? I don't know about that.
And I love you all, committed to separate bedrooms, in separate houses, in separate cities, in separate states.
Exactly, those farts can travel a very long way. And yeah, and I— and so once it's settled in, then I have to decide, okay, do I— how do I actually feel about this person now? Oh, you know, where are we here? Because my fear around the 'I love you' thing is that when you realize that you don't, Or you have strong feelings, but maybe not— maybe because I imbue that love word with a lot of meaning that doesn't necessarily have to have, but for me it's kind of a big commitment word, I guess. Yeah. And, and so when I say it and then the other person hears it, and then I realize, oh shit, I don't really love you, and now I've got myself into hot water, and now I have to deal with those, with the backtracking. Oh, I didn't really mean it. Oh God. So yeah, so now it is something that I don't, yeah, do very often.
Yeah, I've noticed that.
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