I learned earlier on whilst doing a degree in communication - sex advice for seniors

Here's something that I've seen so many people do and is guaranteed to turn off the person that they're with, and something that they could do instead that might not turn the person off that they're with. So the thing that I've noticed that people do, and I'm speaking specifically like when I've been on a date, is that they'll come out with a statement like, you seem like, or you appear to be, 'You clearly are blah blah blah blah blah.' The other night I was out and somebody said, 'Oh, it looks like you bop around a lot in your job.' Firstly, I don't bop around a lot in my job, but had he said instead, 'I suspect you're the kind of person that might like variety because I've had a look and it appears as if you've had quite a few different jobs,' And I could say, well, it may appear that way, but the reality is that, you know, and then go into my career history, which is actually not about bopping around because I roughly create businesses and I roughly stick with them for at least a decade. Not really that much bopping being done there. But as soon as I heard the words, you clearly are 'you are' or 'you seem like'— pretty much anything that starts with the word 'you'— I am immediately on the defensive. I immediately am thinking, 'You don't really know me at all, and who are you to make that judgment about me?' And frankly, sounds a bit patronizing. So if you find those words spilling out of your mouth— 'you are,' 'you do,' 'you clearly seem like'— blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just replace all of that with, "I suspect you may be blah, blah, blah, blah, blah," or, "I suspect that it seems to me that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah," and then the other person is given an opportunity to share their point of view and perhaps convince you that the way you appear to see things is not actually the way they are.