Suzanne NobleHost, Sex Advice for Seniors · Sex, Dating & Relationship Advice for Over 50s

Many couples have written to me about wanting to open up their relationship and how to do that

4 Sept 2023 · 2 min

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1:38

In this monologue, the speaker emphasizes that consent in sexual contexts applies to all genders, not just women, and is especially crucial when exploring open relationships. They recount a personal experience where an unexpected touch from another man disrupted their partner’s arousal, revealing that the partner was uncomfortable with male involvement despite being an exhibitionist. The incident highlighted the lack of prior discussion about boundaries. The speaker advises that couples should have thorough pre‑encounter conversations about what they are comfortable with, and also conduct post‑encounter debriefs to ensure everyone’s ongoing happiness and consent. The core message is that clear, ongoing communication before and after sexual experiences with others is essential for healthy open relationships.

Chapters

I want to talk about consent. I suspect that when people hear the word consent, especially when it's around sex, they think about women and women's consent. But I know it's not always about women. Men have to consent too. And many people have written to me about wanting to open up their relationships and how to do that. And I think that's where consent really comes in for both parties, because I know that many years ago I was in a place where I was having sex and there were other people around. Some guy came up and touched my my bum. And at that moment, my partner lost his erection, which really surprised me. But we hadn't discussed anything about other people being involved. He was an exhibitionist, he liked being watched. But as it turned out, and I found out during that moment, he didn't like other people being involved, especially if they were men. So that was something that we needed to talk about after that happened. Often you want to discuss all these things before you go into these environments, and I suggest that's a very good idea. But you really never know what's going to happen until you get there, and then you discover that one person isn't quite so happy as you might be in the situation in which you're involved. So all I can say about all of this kind of stuff is that it's communication that's really important. Discuss beforehand if you're going into a situation where you're likely to have sex with other people, that what you may or may not be happy with but also discuss it afterwards so that you make sure that moving forward, everybody's happy.