Men Think This Turns Women On… It Doesn’t

You're not imagining it. Desire drops off the cliff after 60 for most women. But it's not just her. Sometimes it's about biology and buried resentment. First, let's talk about hormones because hormones can be partly responsible for that dip in sexual desire. Testosterone halves, estrogen dips, and arousal can take 3 times longer. And body changes like vaginal dryness and fatigue can create those pain loops, because let's face it, nobody likes to have sex if it hurts. And often the hormonal changes do lead to changes with the vagina, like dryness for instance, which creates pain Often it can create little tears on the vaginal walls, and these sorts of things can just make a woman resist wanting to have sex because it just hurts. But also, you know what? Emotional buildup really matters. Things like unresolved fights erode trust and desire, and nobody wants to have sex with somebody when they're just feeling unhappy. Often in relationships, especially if women are doing all the emotional load, if they're taking care and planning everything, if they're the ones who are running the household and they're paying all the bills and they're doing all the laundry and they're cooking all the food and they feel like there's an imbalance in the relationship, that imbalance can seep into the bedroom. So unresolved fights, as I said, just erode trust and desire. Communication is so important. Discussing if you are feeling like there is that imbalance in your relationship, discussing if you're feeling like you're just not getting the sexual pleasure that you would really want, and maybe you just haven't been good at expressing what it is that you like. Finally, let's talk about lifestyle, because lifestyle is another libido killer. Poor sleep, lack of movement both drain energy, and I think not enough attention is placed on just how important sleep is to feeling up for it and how much stress plays a part in just also not feeling terribly aroused. I know that my own libido crashed after 50, and you know what, I really did grieve for that old horny version of me, but it wasn't gone. I just needed to adapt to a new way of being sexual, and believe me, that took a lot of time and and a lot of thinking about this person that I had been, this person that was generally horny all the time, and this person that I now was who didn't feel up for it as often. And I had to create that space in my own life to feel sexual again. And I had to take steps to feel sexual. Part of that was about getting sleep. Part of that was about buying clothes that made me feel good. Part of that was about making sure that I felt energized and I felt good about my body. Going to the gym, making sure I was walking enough steps, getting enough physical activity. All of that stuff helped revive my sex life, plus being with somebody who told me that they found me hot, and that made me feel hot. So here's some actionable steps. Have your hormones checked. Testosterone really improved my desire, and it reduced the time it takes me to orgasm. Both big plus points. And while it didn't happen overnight, it took months for that effect to actually kick in, I now feel far more sexual than I did before I started taking testosterone. If you're experiencing painful sex, go and ask your doctor about vaginal estrogen. It restores lubrication, it plumps up vaginal tissue, it helps prevent UTIs, and and it is safe for most women to use long-term. It has been an absolute godsend for me, and I cannot tell you how vaginal estrogen has helped to transform my sex life. I take it in the form of a pellet, but you can also use cream, and there's also a ring. This is a topical form of estrogen. It's not the same as an estrogen patch, and it is safe to use, like I said, for most women. And it will change the way your vagina behaves during penetrative sex. Finally, get a good night's sleep. You know what? Exhaustion kills a libido. Communicate clearly with your partner about needing more foreplay and less pressure. Pelvic floor exercises can also help improve orgasm strength. If you found this video helpful, please press subscribe And do sign up for my weekly newsletter at SexAdviceForSeniors.com.