Suzanne NobleHost, Sex Advice for Seniors · Sex, Dating & Relationship Advice for Over 50s

Most Women Don’t Actually Know What They Want

12 Jul 2026 · 2 min

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1:57

In this solo monologue, the speaker reflects on how many women are disconnected from their own erotic desires, often because they have never been encouraged to explore or articulate what they want. She describes the experience of emerging from a conventional marriage into a world of diverse possibilities, noting the excitement of discovering new flavors of intimacy through shared experiences. The speaker expands the concept of eroticism beyond sex, framing pleasure as a foundational force that fuels personal growth, financial success, friendships, adventure, and deeper connections. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing privilege and safety, urging listeners in unsafe situations to seek help and not face challenges alone. The talk highlights the courage required to be vulnerable, reach out to friends or therapists, and reclaim pleasure as a personal guide. By sharing her own journey of “blowing up” her life and rediscovering pleasure, she illustrates how embracing bodily sensations can become a transformative, self‑authored path to empowerment and intimacy.

Chapters

their eroticism and their own blueprint, their own intimacy recipe. Like you said, it's so nice when men, they respond so well, but a lot of women freeze. They freeze. They're like, I don't even know what I want. I've never asked myself. I never thought about it. If I've lived in a vanilla marriage and I finally got out into the world and I was like, oh, there's like 85 other flavors I could have been asking for, but I don't know until I go out and open it up. So I love— there's a magic in a group of being able to be like, "Oh, you tried that? That's cool. Like, I want to try that." And it doesn't always have to be sexual. It's really about our eroticism of desire, of receiving pleasure, of pleasure as something that builds our capacity for life, for more money, more friendship, more adventure, more connection. It's that actually our erotic alchemy is the core of who we are in our full expression. I think acknowledging the privilege is vital, and one of the things that is so important, no matter what situation, you know, if you're in an unsafe situation, find help, right? I would say like, find— and you don't have to do it alone. We bear the burden of figuring these things out alone so often, and it takes real vulnerability and courage to find someone and say, I'm trying to find my way out of something, can you help? Or can you just listen? Whether that's friend or therapist. But wherever you find yourself, you can reclaim pleasure for you and let it guide you to the next step. I blew up my life, found, you know, rewrote, reclaimed pleasure. But now I realize actually it was the pleasure that was the magic. It was saying, I am feeling something in my body for the first time, and I'm never going back. And that is for me, by me, through me. And when I invite someone into intimacy, it is their pleasure to be invited in.