My big regret when it comes to sex

Let's talk about regrets. I don't really do regret, but I do have one quite significant regret when it comes to my own sex life and understanding how to talk about what I like or what I don't like with a partner. And it's something that I didn't learn until really it was too late. When I was younger, I suspect I was so afraid of being rejected that I didn't really speak up for myself when it came to my own sex sexual pleasure. And then I got married and entered into a relationship where we just didn't speak about any of that kind of stuff at all and had quite predictable, very pleasurable but not particularly adventurous sex. Until eventually I just got bored and it just wasn't something that we talked about. We just, again, I guess like lots of couples, we just stopped having sex. And it just wasn't a part of our relationship anymore. And then I got divorced, and it was really at that point that I decided that I wanted to take control of my sexual pleasure, that I wanted to find out more about it. And I started going out and experimenting and trying lots of different things, and online dating had just come along, and so that gave me the perfect opportunity really to meet a lot of people and learn a lot of new things about myself, my body, other people's bodies, sexual pleasure, etc. And I realized that actually speaking up for what I liked was something that men really appreciated because nobody's a mind reader. They didn't know how my body worked, and who better than me to tell them, "Nope, that doesn't feel good, but if you do it a bit like this, it might feel a hell of a lot better." And you know what? That's the one thing that I regret because had I spoken up sooner, had I spoken up earlier, I suspect I would have had a lot healthier, better sexual relationships with people. I would have been able to articulate what I liked and what I didn't like without this fear of rejection, which when I consider looking back on it was frankly ridiculous. Because, you know, let's face it, if you don't get along with somebody in bed, then, you know, it's not likely that you're not going to have a very great relationship. And we hear from lots of people who really struggle with having an unsatisfactory sex life within their relationship and write to us and tell us about that. But it's our responsibility to be able to articulate and to tell our partner what we like and we don't like. And for me, the sooner that you do that in a relationship, the earlier in a relationship you do that, the better. Because if you are very, very different in how you like to experience experience sex, then you are potentially going to run the risk of having a very unsatisfactory relationship. You may get along in all sorts of other ways, but if you don't get along in bed, then for me it's game over.