Suzanne NobleHost, Sex Advice for Seniors · Sex, Dating & Relationship Advice for Over 50s

Painful sex is incredibly common, especially as an older woman

21 Aug 2025 · 3 min

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2:36

In this monologue, the speaker addresses the often‑overlooked issue of painful sex, especially among older women. She shares her own experience of severe discomfort during intercourse, describing a burning sensation and tissue tearing that can occur as vaginal walls thin with age. The talk explains how lubricants can exacerbate pain when they contain irritating ingredients, notably glycerin, and promises a list of other harmful components. She then recommends effective solutions: using vaginal estrogen (applied via a small applicator twice weekly) to restore tissue thickness and moisture, and selecting a high‑quality vaginal moisturizer/lubricant—specifically the YES! brand, with a link in her bio. She cautions against oil‑based products, which do not adequately hydrate the tissue. Finally, she encourages listeners to discuss pain with their partners, as discomfort may be a hidden reason for reduced sexual activity.

Chapters

Let's talk about painful sex. I don't think we talk enough about that topic. Um, there's been some scientific research that would suggest that one of the reasons why women have problems having sex and sometimes stop having sex is because it's painful. And I know this personally because a couple of years ago I started finding sex quite painful, and even when I was using lube, I would find that my insides felt like they were on fire. It was deeply unpleasant. And I thought, what the hell is going on here? Well, of course, with age, your body changes and those vaginal tissues start to thin out often. And that can mean that while you're having sex, especially if it's quite vigorous, it can cause little tears. And of course, then you stick something inside you like some lubricant and that may seep into those tears and may be really unpleasant. There's a few things that you can do to sort yourself out, ladies, if that's a problem that you're experiencing. Of course, make sure that the lube that you're using is actually got products in it that are safe. Avoid glycerin for a start. That's the number one culprit that's really not good for you and is often found in lube. So look out for that one. There's a whole other list that I've got of other ingredients that I'll put in the comments that you should generally avoid. Second thing that I found was an absolute game changer was vaginal estrogen. I use a little pill on an applicator twice a week, and that sorted out my vaginal tissues, made them all nice and plump, juicy, and lubricated again. And I don't have those problems. Also, you could try using a vaginal moisturizer again make sure it's a good one. I always recommend for lubes and the vaginal moisturizer a brand called YES! You can find a link in my bio. That will also help just keep those tissues nice and soft and moist. Oils don't tend to have the same impact, so if you're using oil up there, not always the best thing for making those tissues nice and plump and moist. So I hope that's been helpful. Nobody wants to have painful sex, and if your partner is avoiding sex, you might want to ask them if one of the reasons is because it just hurts.