Suzanne Noble explains why older adults lose sexual desire: hormonal changes, altered arousal patterns, body-image concerns, and shame. She suggests supplements, hormone consultation, different forms of touch, and self-pleasure to rediscover intimacy and its benefits for mood, memory, and longevity.
Chapters
Let's talk about the reasons why women, and sometimes also men, may not want to have sex anymore or just may not feel particularly horny. Number 1 is libido. Loss of libido is a thing as we get older, and we just can't ignore that. Sure, there's plenty of people that may not experience it, but I suspect, and I know, that lots and lots of people just simply don't feel horny anymore, and there are good reasons for that because horniness is directly linked to our hormones. And when the testosterone starts to drop, then we start to experience loss of libido. There are ways around that. There are supplements. I'm taking one by Higher Nature called Rekindle. Of course, you can go to your doctor and ask for testosterone, or you can just consider how to get aroused in a different way. One of things that is just a fact is that as we age, our arousal patterns differ. So instead of being spontaneously aroused, which means you look at someone, you're like, wow, they're super hot, I want to go to bed with them. You need a little bit more oomph. You might need to— some physical contact. You might need to be hugged. You might need to kiss someone. You might need someone to just touch you Rub your shoulders, be nice to you. Just generally a little bit more connection of the physical type for your body to go, "Ooh, something is happening," and to feel sexy again. Number 2 is loss of confidence. Lots of people experience changes in their body as we get older. We look down, it's like, "Where did that spare tire come from? Why do I have that little bit of fat around my hips? I'm not feeling particularly sexy to look at." And my suggestion is that's where lingerie or pajamas or just something that actually makes you feel sexy can really, really help. Just covering up a little bit those areas that maybe you don't feel so good about can be really helpful to just making you feel sexy again. Number 3 is just feeling desired. If you're not feeling desired, if you're not feeling wanted, if you're not being told, "God, I think you're gorgeous," and that goes for women and for men, And then of course, why should we feel sexy if we're not feeling desired? Why should we feel sexy? So just making somebody feel good, telling them that they look nice, just, you know, complimenting them can really go a long way towards feeling more sexual. Number 4 is societal expectations. There's lots of comments I get on my channel about, you know, Grandma, why should you still want to have sex? There's society telling us that when we're older, it's not really important anymore. And maybe you just think that you're just done with it because you know what? Maybe you think that as an older person, it's not something that's relevant for you anymore. I think that's nonsense. We can go on having sex if we want to for as long as we are able and feeling like we want to have sex. And society shouldn't really be the one that's telling us what we should or shouldn't be doing. And finally, I think there's just shame and just feeling like not really good about sex. So if you've never experienced sexual pleasure, if you've unfortunately been the recipient of, you know, some form of trauma and you've had just really bad or poor sexual experiences that haven't led you to believe that sex is actually really something that can be fun or you've been brought up in a culture that maybe makes you feel shameful about sex, then it's obvious that when your body is telling you that maybe it's time, you've had enough, then you just stop. You know, I mean, and that's a personal choice. Again, I totally get it. But my experience is that if you find someone, if you self-pleasure, if you learn all the different ways that you can experience pleasure within your body, then sex can be a wonderful, wonderful thing. It can help you to live longer. It can keep your memory intact. It, you know, stimulates all that dopamine and good feel-good hormones that can make you feel good and happy. So there's really no reason why you ever need to stop, or— and there's never any time where you can't learn about how sexual pleasure can help to enhance your life.
